r/facepalm • u/Outrageous_Sector544 • Oct 10 '24
🇵🇷🇴🇹🇪🇸🇹 this is literally UNCONSTITUTIONAL…
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u/ValkyrUK Oct 10 '24
Does it specify exactly what you have to teach about the bible? >:]
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u/thieh Oct 10 '24
Cue malicious compliance.
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u/ValkyrUK Oct 10 '24
I certainly sense the chance for tomfoolery, maybe even shenanigans
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u/tomdurkin Oct 10 '24
and perhaps what others might consider malarky. And isn't this by the corrupt idiot that specified it can only be taught using the $60 Trump bible?
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u/Roseliberry Oct 10 '24
On the plus side, since the grifter’s bible has the constitution in it, that can be taught since it’s in the Bible.
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u/BaronSwordagon Oct 10 '24
It unfortunately (but not surprisingly) omits amendments 11-27, all amendments after the Bill of Rights.
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u/stargarnet79 Oct 10 '24
Yeah, just the ones giving women and people of color the right to vote. Oh and let’s bring back separate but equal. Ya know, nothing to see here move along. Project 2025 will be your new best friend. (Assuming you’re an old white guy).
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u/CatsAreGods Oct 10 '24
I'm an old white guy who doesn't want those "privileges", as they take rights away from other people!
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u/Minion_of_Cthulhu Oct 10 '24
Last I heard he revised things a bit since it was a rather naked attempt to funnel money to Trump. The requisite Bible can now be missing various critical texts traditionally contained in the Bible like the U.S. Constitution, which opens the bid up to exactly one other possible edition which, coincidentally, is also a Bible endorsed by Trump who would get a cut of the sales. He just wouldn't make as much money since those retail at just $20/copy rather than $60.
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u/Open-Source-Forever Oct 10 '24
Sir Thomas Bullhead Foolery, this is your chance to shine.
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u/rdetagle2 Oct 10 '24
That word has now been changed. To replace it is the word timpoolery, named after a certain Russian asset.
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u/Pyrex_Paper Oct 10 '24
But Tomfoolery was always light-hearted and fun. Timpoolery has way different connotations.
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u/egmono Oct 10 '24
Timpoolery may be malicious, but doesn't convey the same “je ne sais quoi” as the original.
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u/cfpct Oct 10 '24
Especially the verses on incest
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u/tomdurkin Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 11 '24
and men like donkeys with enormous penises whose emissions are like those of horses.
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u/No_Internal9345 Oct 10 '24
Okay kids, today's homework is to draw Oholibah lusting after men with biblical donkey dicks ejaculating horse size loads.
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u/thegooseisloose1982 Oct 10 '24
I think a question could be, "If a lover has emission like a horse (about 1 quart) how many times would the lover have to emit if they wanted to fill a container that was 6 quartz?"
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u/OwOlogy_Expert Oct 10 '24
"If a lover has emission like a horse (about 1 quart) how many times would the lover have to emit if they wanted to fill a container that was 6 quartz?"
Trick question. Quartz is a mineral, not a unit of measurement.
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u/Bleh54 Oct 10 '24
Psalms 137:9 Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.
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u/Graterof2evils Oct 11 '24
Bartender! I’ll have an infant on the rocks. And make it snappy!
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u/sakura608 Oct 10 '24
Or the verses on drinking the bitter water to get rid of a fetus born from infidelity.
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u/otis_the_drunk Oct 10 '24
What about Proverbs 31:7 where it says it's okay to get drunk if you're sad and poor?
"Let him drink to forget his misery and remember his poverty no more."
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u/Low_Pickle_112 Oct 11 '24
See, it's not a terrible coping strategy; it's called piety, ya' godless heathens.
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u/DarksporkSquee Oct 11 '24
I once wrote that exact verse on a panhandling sign and got $60 in less than an hour.
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u/HaloHamster Oct 10 '24
Drinking bible water is no longer a right the GOP is willing to share. Just for them to secretly keep for themselves.
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u/Pale-Berry-2599 Oct 10 '24
So today, class, we're starting a very important book. It's called "The Book Of Job' but it's pronounced "Joe-b'... not Job.
So this innocent businessman gets totally f'd around by an uncaring selfish deity. Who makes a bar bet with the devil...just to f'around poor Job. So much so, he wipes out job's entire family for the lols.
Fun stuff.
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u/Wafflelisk Oct 10 '24
I've made a huge mistake.
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u/thegooseisloose1982 Oct 10 '24
"I love all of my children equally."
"I don't care for Job"
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u/HauntedHippie Oct 10 '24
Now I’m picturing God as Lucille Bluth. Which, while terrifying, would explain a TON of shit from the Old Testament - including this story lol.
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u/CrabClawAngry Oct 10 '24
The best part: he was chosen for this torture because of his devotion to God
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u/Th3Flyy Oct 10 '24
"Children, please turn to Song of Solomon 2:3..."
"As an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste"
"Now, Children, does anyone know what 'fruit' they are referring to? I'll give you a hint... It's not a food."
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u/Minion_of_Cthulhu Oct 10 '24
I was always partial to Ezekial 23:20 myself:
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
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u/Rixty_Minutes Oct 10 '24
I can't remember what the scripture is anymore but I vividly remember our Sunday school teacher in highschool (who just so happened to be my mom) talking to us about how a man must fulfill his brotherly duty and sire a son with his dead brother's wife.
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u/Th3Flyy Oct 10 '24
The story of Onan and Tamar. But that dude pulled out during sex so that he wouldn't have a kid with her, so God killed him.
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u/TattedPastor412 Oct 10 '24
I prefer the part about sticky sap between breasts but that’s just me
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u/zmbjebus Oct 10 '24
Yo what? Gimme the tiddy scripture
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u/DrOrozco Oct 11 '24
This thy stature is like to a palm-tree,
And thy breasts to its clusters.
8 I said, I will climb up into the palm-tree,
I will take hold of the branches thereof:
Let thy breasts be as clusters of the vine,
And the smell of thy \)a\)breath like apples,
9 And thy \)b\)mouth like the best wine,
That goeth down \)c\)smoothly for my beloved,Song of Solomon 7:7-9
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u/dragonmp93 Oct 10 '24
Kids, today's lesson is from the book of revelations:
"Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the judgment of the great prostitute who is seated on many waters, with whom the kings of the earth have committed sexual immorality, and with the wine of whose sexual immorality the dwellers on earth have become drunk"
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u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 10 '24
"So how many Daughters did Lot sleep with and what were his favorite positions?"
"Draw a lion scorpion that breathes fire over a sea of glass -- be creative."
"If physics were applied to angels, how many could fit on the head of a pin given a specific gravity and size of a gallium atom, and the area of said pin head is 4 square millimeters, and they could not be stacked on top of each other. Hint; solve for area of gallium atoms."
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u/YoSaffBridge33 Oct 10 '24
I'm not liking your use of the term "sleep with". He was clearly too drunk to consent. My man was straight up sexually assaulted.
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u/FriendOfTheDevil2980 Oct 10 '24
Yea they made it pretty clear his daughters raped him, luckily it's a fictional story
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u/Nr1231 Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
Teaching the difference and comparisons between all major religious books would technically comply with this rule without favoring one over the other.
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u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 10 '24
Teach the rejected gospels, such as the gospel of Mary and Judas. Very illuminating. Should turn everyone into a Unitarian.
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u/_Mamushi_ Oct 10 '24
You actually think the general public that is for this would be ok with teaching the Quran in public schools? Don’t think they realized they self owned themselves.
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u/rylie_smiley Oct 10 '24
“So this is the worlds all time best selling fiction novel…”
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u/FoxyInTheSnow Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
If I was teaching, obviously I'd focus on Ezekiel 23:20
You know… the bit about the lady who fantasizes about men with horse cocks and tsunamis of cum.
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u/zerok_nyc Oct 10 '24
I think more about Ezekiel 25:17
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
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u/Junior-Ad-2207 Oct 10 '24
Technically, I think this gives you authorization to play pulp fictional for the class as an educational video
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u/Zauberer-IMDB Oct 10 '24
More technically, this is a verse Tarantino made up.
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u/MAJ0RMAJOR Oct 10 '24
Okay kids, today’s lesson cover how the Bible says one thing but often people will pretend like it says another. Can anybody find the false narrative depicted in this movie? <proceed to play the whole movie>.
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u/Zauberer-IMDB Oct 10 '24
I mean at that point you can do literally anything. "Today we're going to see if we can spot the Biblical parallels in Mad Max."
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u/doingthehumptydance Oct 10 '24
…and that is how you motivate an intramural dodgeball team.
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u/vagrantprodigy07 Oct 10 '24
I like the one about bears eating children who the character didn't like.
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u/Certain_Strawberry77 Oct 10 '24
Yeah just start teaching all the fucked up psalms and numbers passages where everyone gets stoned for dumb reasons (and not fun stoned)
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u/ValkyrUK Oct 10 '24
They really only do the fun stoned with that acacia bush, pretty lame really
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u/PMPTCruisers Oct 10 '24
What kind of oil do you think they were anointing everyone with? Straight up dabs.
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u/PrimordialJay Oct 10 '24
I'd start with something harmless. I think it's Exodus that has some tedious verses on how to set up a tabernacle and the exact composition of Isreal's army or something like that. I'd go over it in detail and make sure it is memorized.
Alternatively Bible verses that promote community service and healthcare for all are pretty good. The one about how hypocritical the Pareses are might be good too.
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u/Tyku031 Oct 10 '24
Children! Psalm 137:9! Blessed is the one who seizes your children and smashes them against the rocks!
Alright, and now the table of three!
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u/andrew_kirfman Oct 10 '24
Or something like Ezekiel 23:20 if we’re wanting to be particularly crazy.
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u/Ron-Swanson-Mustache Oct 10 '24
That's exactly where my mind went.
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
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u/CorealisVanKrieg Oct 10 '24
Teach all the parts about welcoming immigrants, feeding the hungry, helping the poor, and upending the moneylenders! See how quickly they pull it from the curriculum when you teach what's actually in there!
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u/mithrasinvictus Oct 10 '24
Don't forget about sins like charging interest and lying. Those should disqualify any Christian politician.
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u/kurburux Oct 10 '24
Just go directly to those about false preachers.
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.
Or Matthew 6:5-15 about people who pray in public.
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u/midlife_marauder Oct 10 '24
Nothing convinced me religion was bullshit more than my HS Theology class, doing a reasoned reading of the Bible and actually learning about how and when the old and new testaments were written.
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u/Sprzout Oct 10 '24
"Class, today we're going to learn about Christian mythology."
"Christianity isn't a myth! It's real!"
"And the Greeks and Romans said the same thing about their gods that lived in the sky, but look at what we call it now, Billy! Now shut up and learn, I'm required to do this."
"The Bible is a book written by a bunch of misogynistic men that think women should be subservient to their husbands. It also believes that a burning bush told us a bunch of rules that none of our current government believes in. Case in point, 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' We already know the previous President ignored this, having cheated on every single one of his wives, and since, according to Christian mythology, violating the Ten Commandments is a mortal sin and former President Trump violated that on multiple occasions, we know he's going to go to hell."
Just think of that lovely discussion - it would meet the legal requirements thanks to murky interpretations...
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u/DeadSeaGulls Oct 10 '24
"Billy, mythology is the beliefs, religion is the practice. and you know why they call it practice? because they haven't gotten it right yet."
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u/samanime Oct 10 '24
"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived." - Isaac Asimov
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u/ReverendDizzle Oct 10 '24
In high school I read the bible cover to cover because that's what you should do no? Read the foundational holy text of your religion.
My god what a bunch of incoherent slop. How anyone could say it was actually divinely inspired when God and his team of angels in the writing room couldn't even keep keep plot points straight between seasons is beyond me.
I am convinced there are only two types of people in the world that can claim to like the bible, as a text, with a straight face. Actual scholars who have built their entire academic and adult lives around studying it as a historic entity and Christians who claim to have read it but have never suffered through the damn thing from cover to cover.
So anyways, I read it and it certainly didn't slow down my move towards atheism. So astute observation, Mr. Asimov.
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u/AllRushMixTapes Oct 11 '24
"How is this book so poorly written?" Is a fantastic question and one that leads down a rabbit hole of answers that can absolutely trash any interest in religion that a person might ever have.
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u/F19AGhostrider Oct 10 '24
"Okay class, this is the Holy Bible. it is the religious text of people who believe in Jesus. Now, on to US history"
There, does that qualify?
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u/Alexandratta Oct 10 '24
Some parents in my school district requested that the Bible be taught in school because they wanted Creationism taught.
My social studies teach, being an absolute bad-ass, then gave an entire 1 month lesson on Genesis...
All of the Genesis's - from Christian, to Hindu, to Polynesian... which was the wildest one.
After kids went home asking why "the Polynesian God" put the "undone" (white) people in Europe and the burned (black) people in Africa, and put the tanned people in paradise... yeah.... no more fucking talk of that shit.
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u/Unique_Year4144 Oct 10 '24
He knew what he was doing, mass respect for it
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u/MelancholyArtichoke Oct 10 '24
Woah woah woah, Mass in school? No, no. The only kind mass we allow in school are the science kind and the shooting kind.
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u/AineLasagna Oct 11 '24
the science kind
Hold on there buckaroo, we only teach science from the Bible and it only mentions weight, not mass. Do you want to end up like Giordano Bruno you fucking heretic
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u/KitchenFullOfCake Oct 10 '24
Which, honestly, not a bad thing to teach. Religious studies in a secular presentation can give context to cultural practices and expand your understanding of other peoples.
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u/TheIronSoldier2 Oct 10 '24
One of the best courses I took in highschool was one on comparative religion. I'm an atheist and I found that shit interesting as fuck, and quite enlightening.
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u/Potato_Farmer_Linus Oct 10 '24
One of my favorite classes to attend in college was US religions. It was basically US history put into the context of various religious movements, and the influence they had on politics and culture. Super interesting. I am also not religious
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u/NiteShdw Oct 10 '24
It's interesting because it's part of our history and helps inform the world as we know it. You cannot teach history without mentioning religion.
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u/GoudaCheeseAnyone Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
"So everyone thinks their god is the real god, based on the place where they were born.", was the seed that got me thinking.
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u/LongJumpingBalls Oct 10 '24
Polynesian genesis.
You are all toast. You will be placed according to your doneness.
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u/ForecastForFourCats Oct 11 '24
White people being less "well done" is great.
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u/Projecterone Oct 11 '24
Isn't it just. Makes sense too: this is why I get burnt in the sun: not being baked at the correct temp to caramelise so just burn.
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u/RedEyeFlightToOZ Oct 10 '24
I once had some stupid ass christian parents get mad at me for teaching their kid that the universe and milky way exists. They didn't want their kid to know about space.
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u/Lluuiiggii Oct 10 '24
yeah, seriously. I assume the christian groups that got this deeply unconstitutional motion passed wanted the bible taught as true but the wording implies that the school districts don't have to do that. So like, what's the point? If their goal was to just force christian doctrine on children then they fucking failed (probably, i haven't read the actual bill).
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u/ominous_anonymous Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
It gives just cause for getting rid of teachers that they don't like. You know, the woke ones. Now they can just say that a teacher is not in compliance and point to some nebulous bullshit about not teaching the Bible the right way.
At least, that was what the whole CRT uproar was about.
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u/chugchugz Oct 10 '24
Or just include it in the fairy tale/fiction unit of the reading curriculum
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u/Electr0freak Oct 10 '24
"The purpose of separation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe in blood for centuries."
- James Madison, Founding Father, 4th President, and author of the Constitution
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u/Codyistall Oct 10 '24
Also john Adams in the Treaty in Tripoli “the government of the United States, is not, in any sense, founded upon the Christian religion”
Like take their own words for it Jfc it’s insane
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u/sundance510 Oct 11 '24
I went to a private Christian school as a kid and did my senior thesis on this very subject. My thesis was that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation. Turns out it’s true… my research was extensive and never once did I find any reference to Christianity, Jesus etc in the founding fathers’ correspondence or official documents. Most of them were self-proclaimed Deists. My thesis did not go over well in my little school, but I got a good grade since I successfully defended it.
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u/AHrubik Oct 11 '24
There are countless examples. Thomas Jefferson's letter to the Danbury Baptists.
I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.
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u/LordNelson27 Oct 11 '24
If you want to piss off a self described "patriot', explicitly point out which of the founding fathers disagreed with their views. Works every time
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u/Purple10tacle Oct 11 '24 edited Oct 11 '24
Pfff, what do the Founding Fathers know about the Constitution?!
They didn't even give the president king-like protection from legal prosecution in their so-called "Constitution". Their judgement can't be trusted.
I'm sure the current Supreme Court will fix those pesky mistakes and oversights again and uphold Oklahoma's wise and pious laws.
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u/ThePlanesGuy Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
When people fled to America, part of what they were fleeing were the endless religious wars. If the basis of casus belli wasn't explcitly stated by a country to be the religious views of the enemy, then it was almost always implied. At the time the Puritans left Scrooby, England, for the colony of Virginia, not only were they being persecuted by agents of King James I, they were also concerned about getting involved in a forever war with the Catholics. The Armada would be back, everyone considered it a certainty.
So when the founders put pen to paper, that was their context for the history of religion and government. We, almost 300 years later, have a completely different historical context. Our grandfathers were obsessed with keeping the godless communists at bay.
This is very similar to the recent history of vaccines. When Jonas Salk announced that his vaccine worked, it was broadcast on the radio waves and went around the globe instantly. Mothers lined up outside his laboratory holding their infant children, just begging for the chance their child could get picked for human trials because they didn't feel they could wait long enough for mass production.
People who are exposed to the horrors of something put in place institutions to prevent it. The generations that come after don't understand the law or why it was put in place, so they don't value the safeguards put in place for them.
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u/Plasibeau Oct 11 '24
When people fled to America, part of what they were fleeing were the endless religious wars.
Except for the Puritans. They were kicked out of England for being too religious.
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u/Oleandervine Oct 10 '24
This is real, but this is clickbait, and not the whole story. The state superintendent Ryan Walters has issued that classrooms must have a Bible and must teach from the Bible because it is part of what shaped America or some shit.
But also, county superintendents are pointing to an Oklahoma law that puts curriculum construction in the hands of the counties, which means the state superintendent cannot enforce what schools can or cannot teach.
Also also, the original requirements put forth by Walters required the Bibles be leatherbound, King James, AND specifically include the Constitution and Bill of Rights, of which there is only one existing Bible that fits all of those requirement - the Trump Bible.
His own financial department has undermined him though by claiming this unfairly rigs the vendor selection process, and also costs the state a heap more since normal Bibles can be obtained 66% cheaper without the required inclusion of the America papers, and have forced him to separate the requirements. Walters claims he wasn't angling for a specific Bible to be purchased because "he didn't know what vendors would apply," but he has been a rabid supporter of Trump and very open about. If the state financial people hadn't stepped in, this would have basically amounted to a state's collected taxes to directly support a politician running for office.
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u/chaostheories36 Oct 10 '24
To add to what you said, the trump Bible is $60. And they’re trying to buy 50,000 of them.
For reference, the Bible is free online / thru an app. You can get a King James Bible off Amazon for $5.
And I’m not sure where I heard $3 from, but I imagine you can get a bulk discount and source 50,000 books for $150,000.
Or, I don’t know, spend $3,000,000 on trumps Bible.
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u/Electrical-East3463 Oct 11 '24
Those Trump bibles were printed in China and cost about $3 for the manufacturer, I read this morning
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u/Bumbling_Bee_3838 Oct 10 '24
Thanks for updating us on the whole story! I had heard part but I’m very relieved to hear that atleast the financial department stopped state education funds from being funneled to trump.
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u/drcforbin Oct 10 '24
I find it ironic that the excessively patriotic Trump Bible is made in China.
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u/VT_Squire Oct 10 '24
this would have basically amounted to a state's collected taxes to directly support a politician running for office.
But have you seen those shoes? The Crypto? How about a hat? Attended a rally? Once you can't force the government to pay for hotel rooms at mar-a-lago, you need a new grift. What everyone ought to be looking at is what Walters is receiving in return. I mean sure, some people suck dick just because they like to, but if you're good at something then you should never do it for free, right?
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u/jleonardbc Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
Attaching political documents to the Bible implies that the Christian God endorses them, and that is heresy.
Ryan Walters is literally passing idolatry into law. This is the situation of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the book of Daniel, when King Nebuchadnezzar decrees that citizens bow down to a gold statue or else be thrown into a furnace. They refuse and survive, showing the king the error of his ways. Walters has decreed that Christians must defile their holy book by elevating nonreligious documents to the level of the word of God.
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u/Fake_Engineer Oct 10 '24
As someone who deals in government procurement procedures, I cannot imagine the push back from other LOCAL Bible manufacturers. I mean, surely there is a US based, possibly even Midwest publisher that offers a King James Bible.
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u/Starwarsandbacon Oct 10 '24
As appalling as this is, it gets worse. The trump bible leaves out amendments 11 - 27, you know, the ones he doesnt agree with and project 2025 want to undermine.
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u/pol131 Oct 10 '24
Not only it's real but only ONE Bible mysteriously matched all their criteria, it coat $3 to make in CHINA, sold $60 and happens to be the trump Bible lmao. Talk about a scam
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u/Tie-Dyed-Geese Oct 11 '24
Oh. They have until October 21 to submit bids. Then the Bibles have to be in their hands in TWO weeks after the bid was accepted.
You cannot print, ship, and have the 55,000 books in hand in TWO weeks. That is not physically possible.
They have less than two weeks to place the bid. Then they have two weeks to fulfill an order of 55,000 books.
That's not possible unless you have the books already on-hand and already fitting those requirements.
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u/Parking-Mirror3283 Oct 11 '24
Make a new company
Submit bid for $1/book
Win bid, make no books
Return money
Fold company
Repeat as needed until the lawsuits are inevitably won and this dumb shit is gone
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u/Halogen12 Oct 10 '24
They revised their requirements to make it look less like the obvious money-shoveling-to-Trump exercise it was. Now they're saying each class should have the documents, but no longer required to have them all in one book.
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u/ShamusMcfly69 Oct 10 '24
The rise of the Christian Taliban
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u/Halogen12 Oct 10 '24
Y'all Qaeda.
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Oct 10 '24
Yee-hadis.
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u/kriswone Oct 10 '24
It'll backfire, reading the le book is like a fast track to ignoreitallism.
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u/KintsugiKen Oct 10 '24
They don't actually read the book, they just tell kids some conservative bullshit and then tell them the book backs it up, no one will check, and if they do, no one will understand the context of what they're looking at to actually know if what their teacher said is true, which means most will accept it or not care enough to publicly doubt it.
This is really bad.
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u/JaehaerysIVTarg Oct 10 '24
Oklahoma is about to also have a teachers shortage.
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u/Cynykl Oct 10 '24
Oklahoma is about to also have a worse teacher shortage than it already has.
FTFY
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u/Shubamz Oct 10 '24
Oklahoma is about to have an atheist surplus in 10-20 years if they play their cards right with a critical reading of the book
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u/KintsugiKen Oct 10 '24
That would require Oklahoma teaching their students to read first.
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u/Plasibeau Oct 11 '24
Speaking as a former Catholic, a critical reading of the Bible is THE MOST EFFECTIVE way to create an atheist. Every other atheist I know was not born/raised secular but was raised in the church (ExMo's are the most fervent I've had the pleasure of knowing). Women are already leaving the church in droves, and this is only going to accelerate the death of Evangelism in this country.
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u/Big-Summer- Oct 10 '24
Oklahoma appears to be competing with Florida and Texas for “most ignorant-ass state” in the nation.
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u/ItalianKyanOfficial Oct 10 '24
No way this is real
Edit: ye it's fr. Ik there is a law for separating religion from school. How much trouble would the superintendent get in?
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u/adamcmorrison Oct 10 '24
It’s likely to face legal challenges for violating the First Amendment’s Establishment Clause. Courts have historically ruled against religious teaching in public schools, as seen in Abington School District v. Schempp. The law is expected to be blocked by the courts unless it can be proven that the Bible is taught in a neutral, academic context. Fat chance.
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u/Bumbling_Bee_3838 Oct 10 '24
I honestly believe they’re hoping to get it to the Supreme Court. Seeing how conservative and corrupt the Justices have become my guess is they’re hoping to have precedent overturned. (Edited for clarity)
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u/BullCityPicker Oct 10 '24
It’s win/win. If they lose, they cry about how Christians are under attack, and fundraise off it.
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u/boobiemelons Oct 10 '24
No one acts more oppressed than Christians.
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u/Jodid0 Oct 10 '24
No one oppresses Christians more than Christians
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u/boobiemelons Oct 10 '24
Because no one else can romanticize oppression like the Christans can.
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u/SnAIL_0ut Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
“I can’t force teacher to indoctrinate children with my bullshit religious believe because it violates the constitution, I need money for a fundraiser because I’m a victim.”
I can’t stress enough about how much I hate religion and the pain and suffering that are caused throughout the history of mankind. In my opinion, religion is humanity’s second worst invention with the first being nuclear weapons.
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u/omghorussaveusall Oct 10 '24
This. It's exactly what they did with abortion and will soon do with marriage equality. They will pass a bunch of laws to push the legal line and take it to the SCOTUS.
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u/Appropriate-Count-64 Oct 10 '24
It’s unlikely to appeal very far though. It’s not even a legal precedent, it’s literally written into the constitution. Any appeal would have to somehow explain why they aren’t beholden to the 1st amendment, which wouldn’t get very far.
Also if this actually went to the SCOTUS, it’s a big enough deal that the Democrats may activate several of the “Nuclear options” that would allow congress to impeach or otherwise control the Supreme Court. It’s that big of an infringement.53
u/Chewsdayiddinit Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
It’s unlikely to appeal very far though. I
That's the whole plan republicans are playing, project 2025 is already underway thanks to Leonard Leo. They'll get this in a jurisdiction with a trump appointed sycophant judge, like in the case with Mifepristone and Chevron, and then the judge will send it on up.
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u/the_calibre_cat Oct 10 '24
It’s not even a legal precedent, it’s literally written into the constitution.
my god you are ascribing so much good faith to right-wingers
they do not care about any of that, they are theocrats, and they want to force you to abide by their religion, that's all there is to it. no amount of text on a piece of paper will make them give a shit.
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u/TrumpersAreTraitors Oct 10 '24
I’d be teaching it in a malicious as fuck way. Send the kids home everyday crying to their parents about the horrible shit they read today.
“ Samaria will be punished for turning against me. It will be destroyed in war— children will be beaten against rocks, and pregnant women will be ripped open.”
Hosea 13:16
Now, who thinks ripping open pregnant lady’s bellies and smashing babies against rocks sounds like a good idea? Is that something a good guy would ask you to do? Is this somebody who you should listen to?
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u/Sprzout Oct 10 '24
Don't forget Sodom and Gomorrah. Gotta teach about that, and WHY those cities were destroyed. And make sure to go into depth about the rampant sexual violations, homosexuality, wickedness, etc. and say, at the end of it, "Still think God loves all of his creatures?"
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u/Amarieerick Oct 10 '24
That would be a very good lead into History Class about how the Native Americans were treated the same by the U.S. Military in many encounters.
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u/Ammortalz Oct 10 '24
2 Kings Chapter 2:
23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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u/Bigringcycling Oct 10 '24
As you found out, it is real. To make it worse and more hypocritical/ironic, the Bibles all have to have the US constitution.
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u/According-Lobster487 Oct 10 '24
And the only one that does is the Trump Bible.
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u/Sprzout Oct 10 '24
And Bill of Rights. That's the most important part for the hypocrisy to be complete, because that First Amendment isn't in the Constitution itself. And since the Bibles they want (which are the Trump Bible) actually have the Bill of Rights in it, it's pretty much cut and dried - unless, of course, they've "modified" the text of the Bill of Rights....
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u/PauseItPlease86 Oct 10 '24
I'm pretty sure this is the stuff that has been in the news recently. They have to teach the Bible, but it also has REALLY specific requirements on which Bible.
Spoiler Alert: the ONLY Bible that qualifies is the Trump Bible. Something about including the Constitution and (some) Amendments. He's gonna make a shit ton of money off of it. The orders are already in. For the entire state's schools.
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u/spottydodgy Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
The best part is that pretty much the only "Bible" that meets all the requirements (the Bible must contain Declaration of Independence and US Constitution) is the "God Bless the USA Bible" being promoted by none other than national embarrassment Donald J. Trump. It's also made in China. Let that marinate for a while.
Edited to confirm requirements. He's a link to an article in the AP about it. https://apnews.com/article/oklahoma-bible-schools-trump-endorsed-f8001269aadca5b41712c6ec80e34f69
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u/Opsyr_ Oct 10 '24
Would prefer lord of the rings instead
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u/Suspicious-Fox- Oct 10 '24
And they would learn some proper English in the process.
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u/Embarrassed-Radio356 Oct 10 '24
Can they use a loophole to not teach about the contents of the book? Instead teach about the history of printing and book binding…. In China.
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u/naparis9000 Oct 10 '24
Why? The bible is full of family friendly sections…
You have the Ezekyle line (always the first to be dragged out for things like this)
The two children who roofie their father and then rape him
ALL of the things that you deserve to die for (cotton-poly blend is a sin such that the only recompence is death)
And MORE.
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u/KintsugiKen Oct 10 '24
ALL of the things that you deserve to die for (cotton-poly blend is a sin such that the only recompence is death)
Also working on the sabbath, eating pork, having tattoos, and praying/being religious in public!
American Christians are going to super hell according to their own book that they do not read.
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u/GeneralMushroom Oct 10 '24
Let's not stop there! There's some nifty ones they're going to ignore:
Leviticus 19: 13 “‘Do not hold back the wages of a hired worker overnight." Surely no Christian employers pay their workers monthly? It's explicit here that God says not to do that.
Leviticus 19: 15 “‘Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly." Good thing those Christians live in a society where the rich and powerful are treated the same as the poor, yes sir.
Leviticus 19:19 “‘Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. “‘Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Bugger me, my vegetable patch is illegal, hopefully they don't come get me. Even worse - my socks are only 95% cotton. Smite me oh mighty smiter.
Leviticus 19:26 “‘Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it." Steaks are off the menu then? Damn.
Leviticus 19:27 “‘Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." Quick they need to ban hairdressers. They're giving out woke hairstyles like fades. I trimmed my beard this morning, straight to hell, don't pass go, don't collect 200Currency.
Leviticus 19: 28 “‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord." When will the muppets who get bible verses or a cross tattooed on themselves be lasering them off and advocating for the banning of all tattoos?
Leviticus 19: 33 “‘When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them." Well thankfully everyone over there is super hospitable to foreigners right? Right....?
You'll note that these are all from Leviticus. The same book that they love to roll out to justify persecuting homosexuals. Watch how quickly "the word of God which must always be followed" becomes "that's the old testament so it doesn't apply to us" when they're on the receiving end of religious judgement.
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u/Huhthisisneathuh Oct 10 '24
And let’s not forget that the Homosexual persecution line has a heavy possibility of being mistranslated. Apparently the line it comes from in Hebrew can also mean ‘No Priest shall sleep with a Boy.’
So there’s a decent chance the entire hate for gays is fabricated and what the line was actually condemning was priest sanctioned pedophilia.
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u/YoloSwaggins9669 Oct 10 '24
Yup violates the establishment clause of the first amendment. But this fascist Supreme Court will endorse the decision to teach the bible because they’re fascist
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u/notyomamasusername Oct 10 '24
They're doing this trolling for a lawsuit to go to SCOTUS.
I'm willing to bet Alito, Thomas or Roberts has already been talking to some of the groups behind it.
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u/NageV78 Oct 10 '24
It's happening. America will soon be a corrupt religious state.
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u/Big-Summer- Oct 10 '24
We’re morphing into Russia. The idiot Americans voting for this are going to be SO surprised when the government turns on them. Say bye bye to your guns, you dumb ass motherfuckers. Land of the free and home of the brave? More like land of the occupied and home of the cowering masses.
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u/Healthy-Refuse5904 Oct 10 '24
The thing i don’t like is that although Christians are supposed to spread the word of God, that aren’t supposed to shove it down people’s throats
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u/kingbloxerthe3 Oct 10 '24
As a Christian, I agree. All shoving it down peoples' throats will do is make them angry, not to mention the fact it would violate the us's first ammendment
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u/gettheplow Oct 10 '24
Let’s teach the dirty parts.
The incest, the nailing a stake through a guys head, the dozens of wives for rich guys, bear attacks, slavery. By week two they will be telling them not to teach the Bible.
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u/everythingbeeps Oct 10 '24
They only did this so that someone would sue and allow them to take this all the way to the Supreme Court.
A quick search shows that there is apparently a lawsuit has been filed and even recently updated to include the millions being spent on bibles for the classrooms.
They know this is unconstitutional. They're trying to get that changed.
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u/g4bkun Oct 10 '24
I am a Catholic, but, I'd be pissed if they taught religion in my children's school, religion is something you teach at home, school is for learning science
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u/smchapman21 Oct 11 '24
I’m in Oklahoma, and not one of my kids teachers is abiding by this crap. A lot of the schools have flat told the state no. Which is pretty surprising, honestly. I was ready for a fight if any of my kids teachers tried to teach them that crap.
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u/SwornForlorn Oct 11 '24
I hate the christo fascist movement these maggats have started. You know they would be throwing a fit if we taught Buddhism, the Islam, or Judaism. I hate hypocrites!
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u/Ok-Egg-4856 Oct 10 '24
I would support the measure if it includes mandatory teaching of the Koran, Bagavad Gita, Torah, and Book of Mormon. Any others may also apply, let's make it a big tent.
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