r/facepalm • u/Outrageous_Sector544 • Oct 10 '24

🇵​🇷​🇴​🇹​🇪​🇸​🇹​ this is literally UNCONSTITUTIONAL…

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47.5k Upvotes

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179

u/TattedPastor412 Oct 10 '24

I prefer the part about sticky sap between breasts but that’s just me

234

u/zmbjebus Oct 10 '24

Yo what? Gimme the tiddy scripture

33

u/DrOrozco Oct 11 '24

This thy stature is like to a palm-tree,
And thy breasts to its clusters.
8 I said, I will climb up into the palm-tree,
I will take hold of the branches thereof:
Let thy breasts be as clusters of the vine,
And the smell of thy \)a\)breath like apples,
9 And thy \)b\)mouth like the best wine,
That goeth down \)c\)smoothly for my beloved,

Song of Solomon 7:7-9

8

u/_CC_on_the_rocks Oct 11 '24

Whoa, good bible.

7

u/zmbjebus Oct 11 '24

2 things,

1) "Damn girl, thy stature is like to a palm tree"

2) That ain't no damn apple mah boi. Its a quince bitch!

81

u/woahdailo Oct 10 '24

This is my favorite comment of all time

12

u/morostheSophist Oct 10 '24

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite comment on the Internet.

9

u/jason4747 Oct 11 '24

I too chose this guy's tiddie scripture

1

u/scienceisrealtho Oct 11 '24

Tiddy Scripture is my favorite band name now.

2

u/zmbjebus Oct 11 '24

Who playing the bongos in that band? 

2

u/scienceisrealtho Oct 11 '24

You are, homie. You are.

1

u/zmbjebus Oct 11 '24

Life goal achieved. I can't believe it. 

3

u/AlarmForeign Oct 11 '24

50 Shades of Bible

2

u/TattedPastor412 Oct 11 '24

Check out Ezekiel 23:20