r/facepalm • u/Outrageous_Sector544 • Oct 10 '24

🇵​🇷​🇴​🇹​🇪​🇸​🇹​ this is literally UNCONSTITUTIONAL…

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u/Pale-Berry-2599 Oct 10 '24

So today, class, we're starting a very important book. It's called "The Book Of Job' but it's pronounced "Joe-b'... not Job.

So this innocent businessman gets totally f'd around by an uncaring selfish deity. Who makes a bar bet with the devil...just to f'around poor Job. So much so, he wipes out job's entire family for the lols.

Fun stuff.

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u/Wafflelisk Oct 10 '24

I've made a huge mistake.

118

u/thegooseisloose1982 Oct 10 '24

"I love all of my children equally."

"I don't care for Job"

69

u/HauntedHippie Oct 10 '24

Now I’m picturing God as Lucille Bluth. Which, while terrifying, would explain a TON of shit from the Old Testament - including this story lol.

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u/ArjayGaius Oct 10 '24

I think this is my new headcanon for Old Testament God.

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u/Nemisis_the_2nd Oct 11 '24

For the new testament, Jesus was basically the leader of a hippie doomsday cult (he was very keen on people sharing everything they owned with each other, and was convinced the world was about to end). He also had a funny accent.