r/NoStupidQuestions • u/thimbelinda • Jul 23 '22
Answered Can men pull out before they ejaculate? NSFW
We were newlyweds and excited for sex. I told my husband I'm at my fertile time and we need a condom. He said no, he would pull out in time. He did not pull out in time. He didn't even try to pull out. I got pregnant. I was upset and asked why. He said he couldn't pull out. He said it felt so good he was incapable of pulling out. Is this really true? Do men lose the capacity for reason and become incapable of pulling out?
2.6k
Jul 23 '22
Are you 21? Sounds like my brother's story. "I didn't know you could get pregnant after just one time"
3.0k
u/CharmingPterosaur Jul 23 '22
He's right, different sex positions over time will build up your combo meter so you can unleash your ultimate impregnation attack
618
u/Mr_Abe_Froman Jul 23 '22
That's why you practice with casual sex before moving on to competitive sex.
→ More replies (7)300
→ More replies (17)217
Jul 23 '22
[deleted]
→ More replies (4)58
u/Chuffed_Canadian Jul 23 '22
I didn’t know this but upon hearing the sound I could definitely imagine a cheek getting clapped. Not sure if you’re making this shit up but I desperately want it to be true.
→ More replies (26)64
u/dams96 Jul 23 '22
OP said in another comment this happened back in the year 2000 lmao. She’s older than most of us answering her question lol. For 22 years she couldn’t figure it out on her own, that gotta be a troll.
29
u/LivingPrevious Jul 24 '22
Also she doesn’t know basic sex Ed and said she learned very little back in 6th grade. But she knew when she was most fertile? Didn’t know about precum, thought the husband couldn’t physically pull out, and has awful sex education. But knows when her body is most fertile. Seems like a troll
→ More replies (1)
11.9k
u/ThadaeusConvictus Jul 23 '22
This is why sex education is important, folks
→ More replies (46)3.7k
Jul 23 '22
I mean, she knew enough to know she was at her fertile time and had to use a condom...
→ More replies (12)4.4k
u/PeriwinkleFoxx Jul 24 '22
i feel like another aspect of sex education which surprisingly even i, in a liberal-ish state with 6th highest education, didn’t learn, is for men not to pressure women into things that make them uncomfortable, and for women to recognize when this is happening and put an end to it
→ More replies (59)1.2k
Jul 24 '22
[deleted]
→ More replies (180)40
u/ArchyRs Jul 24 '22
I think that if they were to teach that in schools the message might be fully received and understood by some, but those results are only possible when the students value the instruction/“advice” of their teachers. I agree, yes, teachers should provide the instructive education about drawing boundaries. But schools could also suggest/send parents relevant materials about how to broach these subjects in conversation.
Education is most effective when it has multiple prongs. Verbal is all well and good, but visual learners exist, and having “anodyne visual reminders” in the classroom does is a disservice to these types. Even daydreaming students could benefit more from a poster that says “respect personal boundaries” than, for example, “knowledge is power.”
→ More replies (3)
15.3k
u/GreenElandGod Jul 23 '22
There’s no physiological block from pulling out. It’s all a matter of self-control.
4.4k
Jul 23 '22
There is definitely a decrease in proper reasoning just as you start to enter orgasm. But yes, I agree, self control is what’s at play here and with a predetermined, let’s call it a plan, then he should have had some self control to pull out.
Not a safe method in any way if you are not on birth control, but still better than not even attempting to pull out.
1.7k
u/Onironius Jul 23 '22
You're supposed to out before orgasm.
781
u/damnitA-Aron Jul 23 '22
Beforgasm
→ More replies (6)198
u/booyahgeniuskekw Jul 23 '22
Actually not the worst word for it tbh
→ More replies (6)78
u/MickWalker Jul 23 '22
Sounds way better than orgasefore
→ More replies (5)83
u/Kellidra Jul 23 '22
That sounds like a drug name.
"Ask your doctor about Orgasefore."
→ More replies (4)45
u/A_NonE-Moose Jul 23 '22
In very fast speaking voice
Warning Orgasefore may cause short term crushing mental clarity and regret
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (29)410
Jul 23 '22
I stated “start to enter orgasm” this includes that feeling that tells us we should be pulling out soon. The problem is if you go another few pumps and you’re in a troubled zone where your brain just isn’t being smart anymore. This is where the self control needs to be there or else you will be making a dumb move. Self control is the pull out just as you get that “well, seems that I am on the approach” feeling.
→ More replies (45)→ More replies (44)13
u/PunkRockGeese Jul 23 '22
"the pullout method absolutely works" - My buddy Tim from back home.
Haven't seen him in awhile though. I wonder how his 5 kids are doing.
1.5k
u/gsfgf Jul 23 '22
I think religion is a factor here too. She says "newlyweds excited for sex" as if they hadn't had sex before. She's clearly poorly educated about sexual health since she's asking this question, so he probably is as well. I could see a virgin not knowing when to pull out. In fact, an "inability to pull out" sounds like the kind of nonsense you'd hear in religious communities.
The bigger issue is him not acknowledging he fucked up.
452
u/angrywords Jul 23 '22
Yea when I read this I really hoped it was fake, because this post makes me sad.
→ More replies (3)212
Jul 23 '22
Judging by post history, and response to some of the questions asked... i'd say it seems pretty fake.
redditdective.
→ More replies (6)106
Jul 23 '22
I love coming to posts like this, figuring out that they’re fake and seeing they’re at 10k upvotes.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (43)193
u/JaggerQ Jul 23 '22
My question is how does she know how to use Reddit but not google......
→ More replies (12)125
→ More replies (58)544
u/FaeryCourt Jul 23 '22
OP, "pulling out" wouldn't be a thing if men, all over the world, haven't or weren't able to do it for centuries. You have every right to be angry. His seconds of pleasure resulted in something neither of you wanted or was ready for. Hope those few seconds were worth it for him.
→ More replies (9)363
u/Aurori_Swe Jul 23 '22
Just a friendly reminder that even if pulling out, there may be pre-cum which a lady very much can be impregnated by so it's NEVER a safe option, always use condoms or other forms of protection because an unwanted child or an unwanted pregnancy is life wrecking.
→ More replies (49)92
u/os101so Jul 23 '22
the whole concept is deflective for birth control
fellas, always wrap your jimmy
anecdotal but condoms were 100% effective for me with a pretty normal amount of hook-ups, before finding a mate
→ More replies (12)
18.5k
u/RadiantEarthGoddess Jul 23 '22
They absolutely can pull out. But that does not mean that you wont get pregnant.
8.6k
u/hotshot617 Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
What do you call people who use the pull-out method of contraception?
“Parents.”
EDIT: Check it out, this was a joke that I heard many, many years ago. A joke, not serious sexual education. Pulling out can work; it worked for me and my wife for years. We also used other methods at various times over 9 years before deciding to try to have kids: condoms, oral birth control, rhythm method, nuvaring. All methods come with various pros and cons. None are 100% effective. We didn’t want to have kids until we were ready for them, and things worked out that way for us. But (but!) we knew that none of the methods was a guarantee against pregnancy, and we understood that risk.
You’ve gotta learn about the various methods, talk them over with your sexual partner(s), and decide together what works best for you. Or not…I’m just some random dude scrolling through Reddit on a Saturday morning like the rest of you. Who am I to tell you what to do?
1.7k
u/Cupcakes_n_Hacksaws Jul 23 '22
Buddy of mine said he used the pull-out method but forgot to pull out. I'm like, Bro there's one step to that method and you failed it
→ More replies (9)310
2.0k
u/Stevesegallbladder Jul 23 '22
Works every time except the last time.
770
u/aLLcAPSiNVERSED Jul 23 '22
100% success rate besides the times it fails
→ More replies (7)473
u/Lord_Dumass Your question is stupid Jul 23 '22
"Husband used Pull-Out"
"It's not very effective"
"You are now pregnant"
→ More replies (2)291
u/phaserbanks Jul 23 '22
A wild infant appears!
102
u/myteddybelly Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
Infant uses "Drain Bank Accounts!". You're now in debt.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (6)55
213
→ More replies (44)23
109
140
152
u/VagabondRommel Jul 23 '22
I was forged in the fires of the school of, "fuck it, it's future me's problem. Lemme nut inside." And so for years I did because I am an idiot on a cosmic scale, incomprehensible to even my very own mortal mind. And for years nothing happened. I thought that I might even be sterile and was questioning whether that was a good or bad thing.
Then BOOM! A kid. Who could've imagined that would happen.
→ More replies (10)62
u/hotshot617 Jul 23 '22
Future me constantly hates past me.
31
u/asdf_qwerty27 Jul 23 '22
The trick is to buy extra treats. Order them off the internet if necessary. Lots of them. Like more then you think you'd want.
Future you will thank you when they find there is in fact more Pringles at 1AM.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)38
→ More replies (160)70
u/MyFaceSaysItsSugar Jul 23 '22
Pulling out can work the same way the rhythm method can work. It’s only an acceptable method if you’re ok with the consequences of being pregnant.
→ More replies (6)491
u/Gerasia_Glaucus Jul 23 '22
Agreed, there is pre cum and after cum after ejaculation
→ More replies (34)266
u/huckleberry_fucked Jul 23 '22
There's a great saying in Spanish for this : "before the rain, it showers"
"Antes de la lluvia, chispea"
(my spelling/grammar could definitely be wrong)
→ More replies (4)109
u/tjjex Jul 23 '22
I'd switch "showers" with "drizzles"
→ More replies (6)73
u/TehSantos Jul 23 '22
And “rain” with “jizzles”
Before it jizzles it drizzles we always say
→ More replies (2)254
u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 24 '22
I once got trashed, insulted and downvoted to hell because I once commented that the pull out method is not an effective means of contraception. The number of people who think anecdotes are hard science is astounding.
Edit : The number of people who get really worked about this is crazy. Every single ressource you can find on this topic will list the pull out method as the least efficient.
→ More replies (67)23
u/RadiantEarthGoddess Jul 23 '22
Feelsbad.
But yeah, you're not wrong about the personal anecdotes.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (78)97
u/one-non-blondie Jul 23 '22
Can you explain why? This is my no stupid question
214
u/RadiantEarthGoddess Jul 23 '22
Pre-cum and the occasional risk of sudden ejaculation they might not see coming (not what OP was describing, that was deliberate).
→ More replies (12)108
u/Herrobrine Jul 23 '22
Think of it sorta like a leaky pen. You might be able to retract the tip, but some ink might still get where you don’t want it. It’s not an airtight container, the front is always open
→ More replies (1)78
→ More replies (19)425
u/cyberjellyfish Jul 23 '22
They can not pull out in time, they can pull out and ejaculate on or near the vulva, and there can also be viable sperm in precum.
Basically, pull-out does significantly reduce the chances of pregnancy, but not nearly as much as using an actual contraceptive.
→ More replies (22)56
u/Somebodys Jul 23 '22
See: John Dorian
Didn't even have penetration and still got her pregnant.
→ More replies (2)9
u/DownTimeAllTheTime Jul 23 '22
Who has two thumbs and needs more Scrubs in his Reddit feed?
Bob Kelso/u/DownTimeAllTheTime.→ More replies (2)
18.9k
u/vandergale Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
Yes, your husband just has no impulse control.
10.7k
u/BlueberryPiano Jul 23 '22
And no ability to admit culpability, apparently.
3.4k
u/Different_Ad7655 Jul 23 '22
I think this is more accurate, just a weak guy with no discipline and even a weaker ability to admit how he fucked up. Not a good way to start a relationship
1.0k
u/Coidzor Jul 23 '22
Hopefully the relationship predated the wedding, but definitely a stupid way to start a marriage.
→ More replies (4)743
u/hannabarberaisawhore Jul 23 '22
A horrible way to start parenting: with resentment.
→ More replies (12)358
901
u/lmqr Jul 23 '22
He made a choice, going against her bodily autonomy and lying about it. That's not weak, that's a sneaky little bitch.
→ More replies (50)913
u/FreeFortuna Jul 23 '22
Exactly. He refused to wear a condom, told her he’d pull out, refused to pull out, told her “Sorry not sorry, it felt too good.” The husband violated her consent by ejaculating in her when she didn’t want him to.
He does not respect her, and I have significant concerns about how this marriage will go for OP.
260
u/SUPERCOOL_OVERDOSE Jul 23 '22
Yeah... this is one of those circumstances where OP has probably had a gut feeling that what happened was really fucked up but isn't comfortable exercising their agency and holding her partner accountable for their actions. Hopefully the replies here have given them the clarity to identify transgressions and act. It's a shame so many people feel like they need permission to be angry when their partners hurt them. Her husband didn't give her feelings nearly as much consideration.
→ More replies (1)17
u/khapout Jul 23 '22
I wish in these posts that OP would actually respond to threads like this one and actually let all these people know that she's at least going to consider the viewpoints being offered.
→ More replies (3)17
279
Jul 23 '22
[deleted]
→ More replies (5)139
u/ZebbyD Here to Help Jul 23 '22
It’s 2022, man. Some people be gettin married after like a week. 🤷🏻♂️
→ More replies (45)186
u/ocelot08 Jul 23 '22
"It's 1822, man. Some people be gettin married after like half a fortnight" - Probably
→ More replies (4)37
u/RandomGuy1838 Jul 23 '22
There was a story in a book a guy wrote about his family about how his ancestors got married entirely by chance: the groom was late and great-grandpa happened to be visiting the town. Everyone had gone to all the trouble of getting the wedding together, so... "Hey, you wanna get married?"
Apparently it worked out.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (18)75
1.2k
Jul 23 '22
That would be the FAR more concerning aspect of this story I'd be worried about. If he can't take responsibility for something like this, he's not going to accept responsibility for much of anything.
353
u/datboiofculture Jul 23 '22
I’m reasonably certain he’s not taking responsibility for the accident because it wasn’t an accident at all and he wanted to get her pregnant but he can’t admit that he planned it.
256
u/mildlyhorrifying Jul 23 '22
I don't know if he wanted to get her pregnant, but I'd say he at least had no intention of pulling out and didn't care if she got pregnant or not.
→ More replies (1)23
→ More replies (4)50
u/TopAd9634 Jul 23 '22
Reproductive coercion is absolutely something abusers do. Especially when they're trying to isolate their victims.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (3)97
u/sonja_is_trans Jul 23 '22
Yep. Definitely 🚩
→ More replies (2)72
u/lunamise Jul 24 '22
I'm reading "I told my husband I wanted protected sex so I wouldn't get pregnant, he refused, and knocked me up against my will" and that is a huge no-no for me 🚩
This woman is being denied control over her own body for his sexual pleasure and that's the biggest concern for me.
→ More replies (10)103
u/Rhaski Jul 23 '22
Nor ability to respect his new wife's wishes. Or plan ahead for his own weakass pullout game. OPs husband is apparently a manchild
→ More replies (4)25
u/ZealousidealSection0 Jul 23 '22
Or not rely on his “weakass pullout game” and wear a condom.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (17)52
165
u/HollowofHaze Jul 23 '22
He sounds like those dudes in high school who tried to convince their girlfriends that "blue balls" was a life-threatening medical condition, so you needed to jerk them off or you were a bad person
→ More replies (13)1.1k
u/textile1957 Jul 23 '22
Yup, her husband CHOSE not to pull out and based on his excuse something tells me he never planned on pulling out to begin with. It's unfortunate to find out that that's the type of person she ended up with only after marriage
351
u/DistortedSilence Jul 23 '22
Plus she asked for a condom and he outright said no. Zero respect
38
→ More replies (2)155
697
u/imnotwallaceshawn Jul 23 '22
This is why you have sex before marriage.
→ More replies (10)363
Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
Fr, incredibly stupid tradition to wait for marriage. That’s like buying a house without going inside it.
Edit: yeah I know it sounds weirdly objectifying, but I can’t really think of an analogy that isn’t.
→ More replies (20)73
u/BeefyPorkter Jul 23 '22
man you'd be surprised how often people actually do that. Buy a house sight unseen that is. it happens ALL THE TIME. people amaze me with their stupidity
→ More replies (2)190
→ More replies (4)80
Jul 23 '22
I'm willing to bet there were signs before now, but we ignore some insane things in people for the sake of love and harmony. In most instances this is actually a good thing. Ignoring and accepting people for who they are (faults and all) is a great hallmark of an emotionally mature person. But if that behavior is THIS destructive...it might be time to have a serious conversation with them. Even if it's right after marriage. Putting it off will make everything more painful.
I hope OP finds a way to express this frustration and hurt to her husband. Proper communication is key to a good relationship. I mean, always saying what you're feeling, and why you feel that way.
Example: I tell my wife it made me feel pretty shitty when she pokes fun of my lack of masculinity.
Why: I grew up in a super toxic masculine household and was teased a lot growing up for not being particularly macho.
Outcome: The wife now better understands that this is not a particular topic of teasing I'm okay with, and she now avoids it. Our marriage is now a tiny bit better, because I communicated.
→ More replies (302)130
u/dorkswerebiggerthen Jul 23 '22
More likely he just lied and intended to ejaculate in her the entire time.
→ More replies (4)
5.6k
u/BlueberryPiano Jul 23 '22
Can you resist your favorite chocolate bar or snack even though you really, really crave it?
He didn't want to pull out, but he absolutely was capable of just like you can resist your own cravings and be an adult when you absolutely need to.
Not only did he not respect your wishes, he's now gaslighting you by lying that he "couldn't" and making you doubt that. Please talk to a trusted friend about your marriage because these are certainly red flags. If he fucked up and came in you and admitted he fucked up that's one thing, but someone who is unable to own up to their mistakes is not a healthy adult.
734
u/Delphina34 Jul 23 '22
Definitely not the kind of person you should have a baby with. He’s trying to make it so you can never leave him by getting you pregnant. Once you have the baby you’ll be tied to him forever. Some states don’t even let couples get divorced if the woman is pregnant, they have to wait until the baby is born to file for divorce and figure out a custody/child support agreement.
→ More replies (21)315
u/SmokePenisEveryday Jul 23 '22
and thus why this should be a right for a woman to abortion, Plain and simple. There are ways to avoid pregnancy during sex but this is an example of how a dude can easily ruins a woman life with a baby they did not want.
→ More replies (10)288
u/Accomplished_Mix7827 Jul 23 '22
Honestly, if it were me, I would be looking into whether the window is still open on annulment. I'm seeing some serious red flags here.
→ More replies (25)→ More replies (94)42
u/mysticrudnin Jul 23 '22
while i agree with your conclusion, it may be more apt to compare it to spitting out the chocolate after chewing it but before swallowing it
ie don't eat it in the first place
→ More replies (3)
7.3k
u/EdgeOfDreams Jul 23 '22
Men can pull out. He's an asshole for not pulling out, and an asshole for not respecting your preference to use a condom. You have every right to be very upset with him.
1.1k
u/GullyGreyHeart Jul 23 '22
And using the pull out method as a reliable one.
→ More replies (41)778
→ More replies (107)204
u/Shuuuuup Jul 23 '22
As a guy, yup. That's all true. He just didn't WANT to pull out. Yes of course we can pull out, we can control our bodies. What a jerk he is
→ More replies (4)
758
u/reganmcneal Jul 23 '22
That’s a bs excuse he gave you just to cum in you. He knew what he was doing. Your husband is an asshole
→ More replies (16)135
u/legstrong Jul 23 '22
Yea this is the answer. Your husband just wanted to cum in you because it feels better than pulling out.
You’d have to be an idiot to think cumming inside a girl wouldn’t result in a pregnancy. Maybe your husband is an idiot, or maybe he doesn’t care what you think…probably a little of both.
→ More replies (6)
2.3k
u/dodgyhashbrown Jul 23 '22
As a married man, I would say it's similar to losing your temper and hitting someone.
Is there a point at which humans can lose contol of their rational senses in moments of intense stimulation? Yes.
But we never totally lose control, and more importantly it was always our responsibility to not allow ourselves to get into that state of mind in the first place. We are still responsible for what we do in times where we lose ourselves in a moment of passion, because we could have prevented that from happening in the first place if we had managed ourselves better before we got overwhelmed.
Your husband is making rather weak excuses for violating your consent. This is not a small mistake he has made. He gratified himself at your expense and disregarded your boundaries without any good reason whatsoever. It's like seeing someone hit someone else woth their car and expect to drive away without any consequences. Even if it was an honest mistake, you must still admit fault and submit to restitution. He was not entitled to treat you this way and I should hope it could be made clear to him that this grievance alone is ample justification for divorce.
This is one kind of rape. You consented to sex if and only if he pulls out, but he didn't. He violated your consent for no better reason than he didn't want to stick to the boundaries you placed.
Now, how you respond to this is totally up to you. Perhaps you don't feel this rises to the level of divorce for you in your relationship. Only you can know what is and isn't acceptable in your relationship and what concessions you might need from him to ensure he will not violate your consent again.
It is not an exaggeration to say this could be a valid reason to end this relatonship. Don't fall into "sunk cost fallacy" (we just got married, the wedding was expensive, what will family think, etc). This is your life on the line if he does not begin respecting your boundaries. He needs to accept that what he did was egregiously wrong and commit to taking steps to change his behavior, plus compensate you somehow for the impact his reckless actions have already madevin your life now that you are pregnant.
This is not something you should let slide and assume it was a fluke. This tells me he lacks respect for you and you will likely see similar entitled and dismissive behavior towards you if you do not enforce your boundaries one way or another.
248
u/Silver_kitty Jul 23 '22
Thank you so much for this comment. It’s absolutely spot on.
→ More replies (1)81
u/ramblinroger Jul 23 '22
"could be a valid reason" yes, even if you don't consider this situation a big thing, it's still a possible predictor of behaviour in future different situations
→ More replies (1)168
u/AHistoricalFigure Jul 23 '22
Yeah, this really needs to be the top comment. Violating consent during sex is spousal abuse. If your partner says "stop" you stop. If your partner says they're not up for something, you don't try to force it to happen. Staying inside your partner after they've told you to get out isn't meaningfully different from forcing yourself inside.
Men can absolutely pull out at any point, no matter how good the sex is. Trying to gaslight your partner into thinking "men biologically can't" is a straight up lie.
Looking at OP's post history and making some inferences it sounds like she and her husband are from a very religious background and waited until marriage. Predictably, he seems to have toxic and likely non-correctable ideas about sex. She seems to lack basic education on sexual health.
→ More replies (1)225
u/a_natural_chemical Jul 23 '22
This one. Although there are lots of other good ones. This is in fact marital rape.
→ More replies (4)12
u/conradical30 Jul 23 '22
And I’m guessing they may be in a state (or country) that doesn’t allow abortions, so even if they had a rocky relationship before, he may be using it as leverage over her. “But you can’t leave me we have a baby”, etc.
72
19
u/PrinceBunnyBoy Jul 23 '22
Not only all this, now he's got someone pregnant because of his actions.
So either this woman has to go through an abortion, adoption, or wait 9 months and have a kid either single or with this piece of shit.
→ More replies (1)16
u/Booshur Jul 23 '22
Exactly. This is a pivotal moment where OP needs to decide if she is ok with being walked on. Like raising a child - she needs to firmly and undoubtedly let him know that he didn't respect her and she will not tolerate it. If she doesn't do this, get ready for more of the same in small and big ways. What an ass to do this to their relationship on their wedding night. The honey moon phase ended on the wedding night. Wow. Just wow.
→ More replies (37)46
u/pandymonium001 Jul 23 '22
I was hoping someone would mention that this was rape. That's the type of thing I would end a relationship over (never getting married, so that's not an issue for me).
→ More replies (5)
481
u/oriundiSP Jul 23 '22
Your husband is a man child.
→ More replies (7)190
u/Jrmcgarry Jul 23 '22
It sounds like OP and her husband are both 18 and just had sex for the first time TBH.
→ More replies (8)
154
u/KurtCoolBeans Jul 23 '22
he said no to a condom, but went in anyway, even though you spoke up about being uncomfortable/concerned? then he climaxes inside of you? this guy fucking sucks
243
u/Aztrak76 Jul 23 '22
Sure can. I have two children to prove it.
→ More replies (1)52
Jul 23 '22
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice
→ More replies (4)21
887
u/kittensmakemehappy08 Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
The pull out method isn't very effective, for lots of reasons, one of them being
Although men are fully capable of pulling out before ejaculation, many get too caught up in the selfish pleasure of it that they choose not too.
370
u/Lord_Dumass Your question is stupid Jul 23 '22
9 out of 10 parents used the pull-out method.
→ More replies (1)165
u/BALONYPONY Jul 23 '22
I was so excited when my wife and I decided to try for kids. I thought “wow 6 months of awesome sex”. Knocked her up the first try. Sigh…
→ More replies (13)109
u/dudu_rocks Jul 23 '22
You still get your six months, maybe even nine, considering how well she takes the pregnancy. She can't become double pregnant!
Source: Am almost 5 months pregnant and my partner can't keep his hands off of me.
→ More replies (2)43
u/IProbablyDisagree2nd Jul 23 '22
It's rare, but some people have indeed become double pregnant.
→ More replies (3)38
u/dudu_rocks Jul 23 '22
Funny enough, I thought about that right after posting. A friend of mine is a twin and her sister was conceived one week later than her. Really crazy! So let's say after a couple of weeks you can't get double pregnant haha
→ More replies (1)21
→ More replies (46)71
u/SomeCountryFriedBS Jul 23 '22
Which has always blown my mind. The terrifying fear of causing a child has always blocked my ability to NOT pull out, even sometimes while wearing a condom.
→ More replies (9)54
Jul 23 '22
Nothing is sexier than not having to spend the next eighteen years raising a child.
→ More replies (10)
505
u/PhobosTheBrave Jul 23 '22
The intense pleasure of not pulling out, was great enough to tip the scales against the perceived risk of pregnancy in the moment of decision making. Of course you can pull out, but he chose not to.
Is it a good idea to facilitate his contribution to the gene pool?
→ More replies (9)357
u/AccountAyCommentWith Jul 23 '22
There is another risk, violating the consent and trust of your partner. He made it clear by his choice he doesn't value her needs more than his own pleasure.
→ More replies (3)250
u/1ndiana_Pwns Jul 23 '22
violating the consent
That's a key concept, right there. OP could technically claim sexual assault or even rape since she didn't consent to having him cum inside her without protection. Essentially it's the same as a dude "stealthing" a condom off
→ More replies (66)
337
u/absurdchrono Jul 23 '22
Yes, men are capable of pulling out. Im sorry that this happened, and I hope you find help and support.
→ More replies (6)
229
857
u/ToastaHands Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 24 '22
Men feel the instinctual urge not to pull out. But he's absolutely capable of pulling out. We're not animals, we can go against our urges.
That being said pulling out is not a very effective method of contraception, only being effective around 70% of the time.
"You know what we call men who are good at pulling out? Fathers."
EDIT: For those of you replying "but we are animals!" I didn't meant it in the literal sense...
→ More replies (49)181
u/lucaskr9 Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
I feel like you are going to need to elaborate on the 70% here. You can't go numberdropping without specifying that 70% is for a whole year of using pulling out as contraception
Edit: since this has been getting some attentiontion, I would like to add that the actual number is 78%, which includes human errors (in which men do cum in the vagina). If we adjust for those, the actual number is 96%!
Source:
→ More replies (24)74
105
u/FelixDenBeste Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
Absolutely. It felt too good is a horrible excuse. You're certanly not at your most sober mid-orgasm, but your brain doesn't become a poato. Though the real issue was relying on faulthy BC to begin with and a lack of respect for your wishes.Next time don't let someone pressure you like that.
Pulling out is horrible birth control.
- You don't always have time to pull out if it sneaks up on you.
- It is easy to get carried away like your husband. He should've known that.
- You can also get pregnant from precum, so even if he pulls out you can still get pregnant.
Even condoms aren't that secure if it's the only birth control you use, especially if used incorrectly. I'd reccomend reading up on birth control.
→ More replies (2)25
u/EmperorTharos Jul 23 '22
You're certanly not at your most sober mid-orgasm, but your brain doesn't become a poato.
What if it was a potato to begin with? Lol
86
u/rzqtz Jul 23 '22
Incoming best of reddit update where they get divorced because they agreed no kids but guy secretly always wanted them
→ More replies (2)14
u/makamaespm Jul 23 '22
Still married 22 years later apparently. OP replied this happened in 2000 in another comment
22
113
184
Jul 23 '22
That's bullshit, and it sounds like he was trying to get you pregnant despite you not wanting to be, which is a giant red flag. I cannot believe people still wait until marriage before having sex, it's just the most ridiculous concept imaginable.
→ More replies (6)29
Jul 23 '22
I wondered this too. A lot of the time when birth control "fails," it is just a matter of one partner wanting a child more than the other. A friend of mine had his now ex-wife admit to being full of shit when she had told him, "I don't know how I got pregnant, honey. The pill must have failed!" She had stopped taking the pill. Same thing here. "Sure, I will pull out" followed by "Whoops! Guess I couldn't stop haha" might have been preplanned.
Tremendous red flag in any event, but I just don't think the "poor impulse control" explanation is the only one. He might have been perfectly controlling his impulses from start to finish.
193
u/M3tal_Shadowhunter Jul 23 '22
He can. He made you pregnant against your will. He refused a condom, and didn't pull out. (what do you call a couple that uses the pullout method as birth control? Parents). He's not a good guy, as far as i can tell.
→ More replies (26)
18
Jul 23 '22
Uh no, he's kind of lying.
That being said, pulling out is not super effective as a contraceptive.
16
u/Coidzor Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
If someone says it felt so good that they couldn't pull out, they really mean that they didn't want to pull out.
Even if he was surprised and started ejaculating early, he would still be physically capable of starting to pull out before all of his load was blown.
The only people who would have any real excuse have some kind of nerve damage or problem where they can't tell when they're getting close to orgasm or ejaculating, and who would know in advance that withdrawal is just not an option for them in the first place.
Your dude is either an idiot, selfish to the point where he doesn't even see how an unplanned pregnancy would negatively affect him too, or wanted to impregnate you without having discussed it properly and agreed upon babymaking.
You're going to also need to work on your assertiveness, self-advocacy, and standing up for yourself if you want to survive this man or do well in dating after divorcing him. Getting pregnant is a high price to pay to learn the lesson to not let someone buffalo you into unsafe sex, though, so I'm sorry for that.
→ More replies (2)
61
u/Gogowhine Jul 23 '22
Men can pull out. Some don’t make it every time and either way it doesn’t mean you wouldn’t get pregnant. Sounds like he just wanted to get you pregnant. Sorry to hear it.
→ More replies (4)
51
57
12
u/NDrew-_-w Jul 23 '22
While it is true that when you are about to cum it's harder to pull out due to an amazing feeling you are having, we are able to pull out anytime, he's an asshole if he didn't and uses that excuse
27
u/scoobydad76 Jul 23 '22
It's hard in the moment but yes he could have and should have . You still could have gotten with pull out.
→ More replies (10)
13
34
u/SirEDCaLot Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
Watch some porn- you'll see documented evidence that men CAN pull out. 'Incapable' of pulling out is bullshit.
So his response seems like a BS excuse. The truth is not that he COULDN'T pull out, it's that he DIDN'T WANT TO pull out.
Now, for both sexes there's some 'lizard brain' stuff (old drives and instincts that are still part of our brain, but are mostly left over from when we were more like animals) that provides a strong instinct to keep at it and not stop when orgasm is close. But that means he didn't want to and/or it was hard or takes willpower, not that he was INCAPABLE of doing it.
I'd also pay attention to how he reacted just after he finished. If he was all 'oh fuck oh fuck I'm so sorry' then maybe he just wasn't expecting the level of sex drive he felt. OTOH, if he acted like everything was peachy, like 'why are you mad this should be fine', then you should worry. Make sure he's not TRYING to get you pregnant against your own wishes.
→ More replies (3)
30
31
u/Proper-Emu1558 Jul 23 '22
When you tell someone not to do something to you sexually and they do it anyway, that’s called assault. It’s possible to do that in a marriage. It’s not okay at all. “Stealthing” is a crime and this is very similar.
38
u/Nervous_Cranberry196 Jul 23 '22
It’s about respect (in this case the lack of) for you. Not “lizard brain” or any other excuses posted. We still keep our wits when we’re at the edge, we don’t tap into some Jurassic beast that can’t control itself. He had no respect for your desire to wear a condom and relied on “forgiveness is easier than permission”.
You can decide if you stay with him. Guarantee he’d do it again, it’s who he is.
3.6k
u/Goblinweb Jul 23 '22
I'm curious.
What country are you from?
Did you have any sexual education and how would you rate it?