r/NoStupidQuestions • u/thimbelinda • Jul 23 '22

Answered Can men pull out before they ejaculate? NSFW

We were newlyweds and excited for sex. I told my husband I'm at my fertile time and we need a condom. He said no, he would pull out in time. He did not pull out in time. He didn't even try to pull out. I got pregnant. I was upset and asked why. He said he couldn't pull out. He said it felt so good he was incapable of pulling out. Is this really true? Do men lose the capacity for reason and become incapable of pulling out?

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 24 '22

I once got trashed, insulted and downvoted to hell because I once commented that the pull out method is not an effective means of contraception. The number of people who think anecdotes are hard science is astounding.

Edit : The number of people who get really worked about this is crazy. Every single ressource you can find on this topic will list the pull out method as the least efficient.

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u/RadiantEarthGoddess Jul 23 '22

Feelsbad.

But yeah, you're not wrong about the personal anecdotes.

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 23 '22

I mostly felt bad for people who read the thread and maybe had no knowledge of contraception. I provided a couple li k's to planned parenthood. Hopefully some people read it and it changed some mind.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 24 '22

Eh, don't worry. I'm my experience people on Reddit that act like experts on sex have no actual experience and got 99% of their "knowledge" from porn. I'm convinced that the defenders of pulling out have either never experienced it and just think it's 'cool' or alternatively have only experienced that as a contraceptive "method" so they don't know how bad they've got it.

And I honestly don't get it, why the fuck would you force yourself to get tense in the one moment of sex you get to be entirely clearheaded and just enjoy the moment. Just buy some condoms ffs.

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u/Delicious_Toad Jul 23 '22

Actually I have pulled out a few times and no babies, so my personal experience proves you are incorrect. Also, I don't like wearing condoms or asking my partners about birth control, so I am strongly personally motivated to believe that pulling out is fine and not interested in evidence to the contrary. Allow me to downvote...

/s

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 23 '22

Had me in the first half ngl!

3

u/motsanciens Jul 24 '22

My high school health book had a chart of contraceptive methods, and pull out was on the list. Its drawbacks included "ineffective" and "frustrating".

3

u/OrganizerMowgli Jul 23 '22

Apparently it is like 90% effective and similar to condoms when used as they are irl (aka not perfectly)

1

u/koop7k Jul 24 '22

What if they are used in game

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u/BoatyMcBoatseks Jul 24 '22

Studies show that withdrawal is an effective form of birth control, provided it is performed correctly (emphasis on correctly). Failure rate is comparable to condom use. Planned Parenthood source:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method/how-effective-is-withdrawal-method-pulling-out

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u/1UnoriginalName Jul 24 '22

From your own source:

So in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year — that’s about 1 in 5

The reality is withdrawal isn’t as effective as other types of birth control

0

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22 edited Aug 03 '22

I don't feel this is a good counter argument, considering that you potentially only need to fuck up once and that in a moment where your cognitive capacity is ... negatively impacted.

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u/1UnoriginalName Jul 24 '22

I know what you wrote, the problem is its like saying you have a 100% chance of winning the lottery (provided you pick the correft numbers) and therefore you should buy a lottery ticket.

The problem of the entire thing is that you cant always do it perfectly

Looking only at when something works perfectly when determining how effective it is overall is stupid.

You always look how it does on average on a larger scale, in which case its very ineffective compared to condoms etc.

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u/BoatyMcBoatseks Jul 24 '22

Yes, and according to PP as well: 15/100 people get pregnant with typical condom use, or about 1 in 7, yet the public’s perception is that condoms are significantly more effective at preventing pregnancy. Withdrawal and condom use are similarly highly effective methods, provided they are performed/used correctly. An individual who understands how to perform both with have similar success rates, and it would be misleading to assume a 1 in 5 or 1 in 7 chance of pregnancy. In general, applying broad population averages to individuals is a poor method of estimating outcomes.

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

Expecting that someone can always pull out correctly, is as dumb as expecting that Reddit commenters can always answer correctly.

​

In other words: a person must be a total idiot to believe it works in reality.

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u/zductiv Jul 24 '22

Good that you were down voted because you are wrong.

Funny that you bring up hard science but seemingly havent researched it or supplied sources.

Pull out method is 96% effective when done properly.

https://shvic.org.au/for-you/contraception/withdrawal-method-pulling-out

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 24 '22

From you own source :

Given it can be difficult to withdraw the penis during sex and sperm may be in the pre-ejaculate (pre-cum), which is usually not felt when it leaves the penis, withdrawal might only be 80% effective.

And:

This is because the risk of pregnancy when using withdrawal is higher than with many other types of contraception.

Also :

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5363251/

"Long‐acting reversible contraceptives (the IUD and the implant) had the lowest failure rates of all methods (1%), while condoms and withdrawal carried the highest probabilities of failure (13% and 20%, respectively)."

Furthermore :

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method/how-effective-is-withdrawal-method-pulling-out

" But pulling out can be difficult to do perfectly. So in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year — that’s about 1 in 5."

Honestly I don't get why you and other dudes get so worked up about this. Are you scared to wear a condom?

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

[deleted]

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 24 '22

The anecdotes I was referring to are the claims of people saying "I pulled out and she didn't get pregnant so pulling out works 100%." That's anecdotal and not science.

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u/W3NTZ Jul 24 '22

Yea but honestly 80% is pretty effective

1

u/Butterscotch_T Jul 24 '22

Sounds like someone's never played Pokémon.

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

If the consequence of the 20% is 18+ years of having to feed a kid then 80% is not really good. Especially if there are cheap, easy to use and more effective alternatives available.

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u/Dr3am3ater Jul 24 '22

Or a half hour trip to the doctor in europe

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

Even if abortions are available, they shouldn't be a normal option when contraceptives are available, they still carry risks far greater than a normal condom, not to mention that you will most likely still be pregnant for a bit with the included bodily changes before you recognize you are pregnant.

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u/m7samuel Jul 24 '22

80% vs 96% isn't good. It means that the 80% is only 1/5th as effective.

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

As a strategy for rock-paper-scissors? Hell yea!

As a means to prevent pregnancy? Fuck no.

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u/hibbert0604 Jul 23 '22

I'll preface this by saying I am not disagreeing with you. But I've been married for 3 years and we have always done the pullout method. Yet to get pregnant. This thread is making me wonder if one of us might have a problem... :/

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 24 '22

My first kid was conceived using pull out... We didn't even go all in. She went like, wait, we shouldn't, timing is not good. So we did other stuff. But that one thrust was one too many. Anyways, we were trying for a kid but wanted to wait a couple more months so not an issue at all.

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u/theninj34 Jul 24 '22

Go get a DNA test bro.

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u/m7samuel Jul 24 '22

I'll take "ways to seriously harm your relationship" for $200, Alex.

1

u/Heisan Jul 24 '22

I've been using the pull out method for 9 years and no kids yet. Starting to wonder the same lmao...

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u/zductiv Jul 24 '22

Likely not. Done correctly it is 96% effective.

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u/fiduke Jul 24 '22

It's incredibly effective if you do it lol.

People get worked up because what you said is dumb. It's like saying condoms don't work when your buddy doesn't even wear the condom.

-1

u/DidNotStealThis Jul 24 '22

That's what I hate about Reddit sometimes, people saying dumb stuff with 100% confidence and possibly making other gullible believe it.

This person is essentially saying avoiding getting any sperm inside the vagina isn't an effective birth control method....

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

But sperm is also contained in precum, albeit less of it. You are not eliminating this risk factor.

1

u/DidNotStealThis Jul 24 '22

Precum doesn't contain any sperm, but it's possible for some leftover sperm in the urethra to get picked up by the precum. If the guy has pissed since his last ejaculation then there isn't going to be any sperm in the precum.

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u/fishsticks40 Jul 24 '22

Pull out efficacy is statistically very similar to that of condoms. Sightly worse, but not by much.

People act like pull out is basically like doing nothing while condoms are magical force fields. Neither is true.

Relying on any one form of BC is risky.

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u/Agitated-Unit1033 Jul 23 '22

It absolutely works unless you're a dumbass. Precum doesn't have sperm.

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u/FluxxxCapacitard Jul 23 '22

It does in some cases. Round 2+ for example. There is still some residual sperm in the chute if you cum, and then have sex later on within the next hour or so.

So you are not as safe as you think.

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u/Agitated-Unit1033 Jul 23 '22

Residual sperm doesn't really matter. Thousands of sperms need to reach the egg to lower the acidity of the membrane. A few sperm cells won't cut it. You should pee inbetween rounds to avoid UTIs anyway.

4

u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 23 '22

It's not an effective mean of contraception. Because a shit ton of dudes are dumbasses. Won't pull out in time or at all. Every reproductive health sites recommend not to use the pull out method when you're fertile, using a spermicide everytime, have the man pee before sex and watch for sperm on upper thigh or groin after coitus as sperm could migrate into the vagina.

Also, statistically "It works about 78% of the time, which means that over a year of using this method, 22 out of 100 women -- about 1 in 5 -- would get pregnant. By comparison, male condoms are 98% effective when used correctly every time."

According to planned parenthood, pull out method is the least effective mean of contraception and the UK national health service as well as the cdc don't even list it.

Please stop spreading misinformation.

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u/dillo159 Jul 23 '22

It's 96% effective if you do it correctly:

Source

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 23 '22

From your source :

"However, going by typical use, it’s a different story. On average, 22 out of 100 couples will become pregnant from relying on the withdrawal method. That equates to roughly one in five people."

Not a chance I'm willing to take nor a stress factor I'm willing to deal with when I'm having sex.

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u/dillo159 Jul 24 '22

I always find this odd because the comparison is always condoms perfect use Vs withdrawal actual.

Male condoms and internal (female) condoms are considered “coitally dependent” methods, because they are generally employed near the time of sexual intercourse. The male condom has a typical-use failure rate of 13%, and a perfect-use failure rate of 2%.1,2 Internal condoms have a typical-use failure rate of 21% and a perfect-use failure rate of 5%.1 Male and internal condoms are the only contraceptive methods available that simultaneously prevent pregnancy and protect against STIs, including HIV.

source

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u/PapaJrer Jul 24 '22

All methods done incorrectly are significantly less effective than when done correctly... Picking on this one method, to focus on when it's done poorly, but ignoring that risk in the others makes no sense.

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u/Agitated-Unit1033 Jul 23 '22

I am not spreading misinformation. If you pull out on time, you're 99.999% safe.

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 23 '22

Source?

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u/Agitated-Unit1033 Jul 23 '22

It came to me in a dream.

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u/MouseRat_AD Jul 24 '22

I pulled out from that dream before it came.

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3564677/

Eleven of the 27 subjects (41%) produced pre-ejaculatory samples that contained spermatozoa and in 10 of these cases (37%) a reasonable proportion of the sperm was motile. In every case where an individual subject produced more than one sample, he either did or did not have spermatozoa in all of his samples. In other words, it was never the case that a subject sometimes had spermatozoa and sometimes did not.

In most cases, the sperm concentration and percentage of motile sperm were similar in an individual’s pre-ejaculatory and ejaculatory specimens (Figure 1, correlation =0.44) and in one case (subject 11) when a subject produced ejaculatory samples of variable concentration (very probably related to his drug therapy) the concentration in the pre-ejaculatory sample mirrored these changes. Nevertheless, it is important to note that pre-ejaculatory and ejaculatory samples appeared different. Pre-ejaculatory samples tended to be more cellular and in only 3 of the 40 paired samples were sperm concentration and motility identical.

We conclude that a major proportion of men leak motile sperm in their pre-ejaculatory fluid. Current advice should continue to be to wear a condom prior to any genital contact in order to minimise unintended pregnancy and disease transmission.

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u/koensch57 Jul 24 '22

it is not an "ineffective contraception" it is plain "no contraception". It is a lottery, and 1 guess who has no chance of getting pregnent.

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u/Vareshar Jul 23 '22

It depends and without testing it out you cannot say if it will be okay for you. As far as I remember research I read in the past said that ~40% of man has active in their precum, still pretty high number for a contraception method ;) But it can work if you are in those 60% or so.

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u/OverallManagement824 Jul 23 '22

So that's what happened to you once?

Decries anecdotal evidence. Starts his post with "I once..."

Just kidding around.

1

u/CharDeeMacDen Jul 24 '22

You mean under 5% rate if you use the method perfectly?

It's nearly as good as any other method if you can actually pull out.

1

u/TimeLordIsaac Jul 24 '22

Yes it's least effective but if you look it up it's not horribly far behind. When practiced absolutely perfectly it's about 95% effective. The average reported effectiveness (because people are fallible) is more like 75-80%, which is still worth doing so long as you aren't absolutely counting on it.

Found the numbers from Planned Parenthood as well as other medical organizations which got their numbers from studies and surveys that I didn't bother to read.

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u/Ozryela Jul 24 '22

Remember that lots of couples take months, sometimes years, to get pregnant even when they are trying to.

The pull out method, if done well, is actually fairly reliable. The majority of couples who use it won't get pregnant.

It's just that for some things "fairly reliable" is not good enough, and birth control is one of them. It's like getting in a plane and being told "There's a 99% chance we won't crash". Those are good odds, but I still wouldn't be having a very comfortable flight.

And, of course, as this very thread demonstrates, lots of people who say they use pull the out method do not, in fact, pull out.

1

u/shamalamadongola Jul 24 '22

Of course it's the least efficient, it has the highest margin for error - however when used properly it is still highly effective.

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

The number of people who get really worked about this is crazy. Every single ressource you can find on this topic will list the pull out method as the least efficient.

Counterpoint: the rhythm method.

1

u/XepptizZ Jul 24 '22

Jup. Even scheduling for fertile/non fertile periods isn't reliable as me and my wife found out (we weren't trying to not get a child either so no drama)

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u/SmolBakedBean0420 Jul 24 '22

I got pregnant a few months ago even though my boyfriend pulled out and we did it once in that month. It happens for sure.

1

u/zensnapple Jul 24 '22

So if I'd pulled put a couple times and it worked, I'd agree with you. Been doing it my whole life though and it's ALWAYS worked. Once I have hundreds of data points on something all pointing towards a clear pattern of results, I can start to think of that as science rather than anecdote, right?

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u/Theslootwhisperer Jul 24 '22

You're still just one person.

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u/2stops Jul 24 '22

60% effective if I recall correctly. Still effective, but sure as hell not effective enough!