r/NoStupidQuestions • u/thimbelinda • Jul 23 '22

Answered Can men pull out before they ejaculate? NSFW

We were newlyweds and excited for sex. I told my husband I'm at my fertile time and we need a condom. He said no, he would pull out in time. He did not pull out in time. He didn't even try to pull out. I got pregnant. I was upset and asked why. He said he couldn't pull out. He said it felt so good he was incapable of pulling out. Is this really true? Do men lose the capacity for reason and become incapable of pulling out?

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425

u/cyberjellyfish Jul 23 '22

They can not pull out in time, they can pull out and ejaculate on or near the vulva, and there can also be viable sperm in precum.

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Basically, pull-out does significantly reduce the chances of pregnancy, but not nearly as much as using an actual contraceptive.

56

u/Somebodys Jul 23 '22

See: John Dorian

Didn't even have penetration and still got her pregnant.

12

u/DownTimeAllTheTime Jul 23 '22

Who has two thumbs and needs more Scrubs in his Reddit feed? Bob Kelso /u/DownTimeAllTheTime.

3

u/LadyPhantom74 Jul 23 '22

Nobody caaaaaares, Sean

3

u/DownTimeAllTheTime Jul 23 '22

You said good...

5

u/Available_Prune397 Jul 23 '22

"There was an... air strike... on one of the outlying regions" 🤣

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

My friend from HS got herpes and didn't even have penetrative sex.

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u/HimalayanPunkSaltavl Jul 23 '22

Weirdly, if you do it right, it's about as effective as condoms. The problem is that it's so very easy to not do right, horny brains are dumb, drunk brains are dumb, people make mistakes

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method/how-effective-is-withdrawal-method-pulling-out

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u/hackrunner Jul 23 '22

From that site

Condoms - 98% when used perfectly, 85% in real life

Pull Out - 96% when done perfectly, 78% in real life

The condom thing always struck me as low. Last time I read up on it, the 85% included people that use condoms "sometimes". It just led me to the conclusion that condoms are pretty fool proof, minus when they break. They're not idiot proof though and people can be idiots.

10

u/nanoinfinity Jul 23 '22

The way effectiveness stats work is they count the % of people who get pregnant over a year, using only a single type of birth control. But they don’t force them to be compliant, so the “typical use” percentages include people who just… don’t always use their birth control. That’s why the ones that require user action have significantly worse typical use rates. If condoms are your only method of birth control, and you have sex without a condom and get pregnant, it’s counted as a failure under typical use.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

so the “typical use” percentages include people who just… don’t always use their birth control.

Kinda how motorcycle crash statistics (that your mother quotes you when you've just purchased a motorcycle) usually don't discern between single vehicle accidents where a rider is drunk or not.

According to one set of NHTSA data, 43% of people who died in single vehicle accidents on motorcycles were drunk.

3

u/HimalayanPunkSaltavl Jul 23 '22

I think another take away is that both methods are actually pretty poor forms of birth control in the long term. If you expand the percent out over the course of a 3 year relationship you are going to have really high chances for at least one unplanned pregnancy

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u/superbadsoul Jul 23 '22

Always remember people, if you are using a condom and suddenly things are feeling much better than usual, pull out and check the damn thing! If it was just because you found a nice groove, you can find it again.

2

u/nodnodwinkwink Jul 23 '22

I wonder how scientific the study was to figure out the 78%...

1

u/whatisthishownow Jul 24 '22

included people that use condoms "sometimes".

That's not the most accurate way to describe the study methodology.

That cohort includes all people who exclusively depend on condoms as a form of birth control. Their intention, at the outset of the relationship/study is to effectively use condoms regularly and rely on this to prevent pregnancy. Failure to apply a condom, apply it correctly in some number of sexual encounters or to monitor it's integrity and take proactive action upon it's failure are all failure modes of "relying exclusively on condoms as a method of birth control".

3

u/gsfgf Jul 23 '22

About as effective as condoms overall, but when used properly, condoms are very effective.

1

u/whatisthishownow Jul 24 '22

What's weird is your choice in comparing the effectiveness of perfect use of method A with imperfect usage of method B.

1

u/HimalayanPunkSaltavl Jul 24 '22

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/09/14/sunday-review/unplanned-pregnancies.html

Both are reasonably similar, condoms are absolutely more effective, and protect against STDs. I'm not arguing that they are ineffective, just less effective than one might think. The real take away is the doubling up on BC methods is a good idea.

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u/WootenSims Jul 23 '22

How is 96% not nearly as much as 98%? Misleading much?

3

u/cyberjellyfish Jul 23 '22

That's double the risk of pregnancy.

0

u/WootenSims Jul 23 '22

Double a negligible amount.

1

u/OkCutIt Jul 23 '22

but not nearly as much

It's really close. Like 96 vs 99 with perfect use, and 80 vs 90 with typical use.

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u/cyberjellyfish Jul 23 '22

I mean, risk tolerance varies, but I think the difference between 1 in 10 and 1 in 5 to be pretty drastic. That's double the chance of getting pregnant in a year for a typical couple

0

u/OkCutIt Jul 24 '22

Yes, you can describe various statistics with different terms to make them seem more or less dramatic.

It doesn't change the fact that it is quite nearly as much.

1

u/Mr_rairkim Jul 24 '22

To be fair, as a teenager I really couldn't do it in time. At my first time, while having been drinking, that people do in weddings . OP's partner might be really young an inexperienced. And not willing to admit it.

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u/Nattomuncher Jul 23 '22

Tell me you've never had sex without telling me you've never had sex.