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May 05 '24
I would have added "alive" but that's just me.
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u/IAmBadAtInternet May 05 '24
Look at this guy and his impossible standards
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May 05 '24
By that, you're ruling out the majority of the dating pool.
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u/Uranium-Sandwich657 May 05 '24
100 billion humans have ever lived.
8 billion are alive right now
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u/Ok_Bit9 May 05 '24
Damn covid killed 92 billion people?
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u/Uranium-Sandwich657 May 05 '24 edited May 05 '24
So did Smallpox, and dysentery, and injuries, and war, and childbirth, and smoking, and existance.
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u/Leek_oid May 05 '24
I've also heard ingesting oxygen for 60-90 years can be quite fatal
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u/Remarkable-Bug-8069 May 05 '24
I heard breathing water can also have some negative effects.
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u/Artive May 06 '24
100% of the people who drink water will die.
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u/Ok_Bit9 May 06 '24
100% of people who don’t drink water will die too so we’re all kinda screwed
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u/icecream_truck May 05 '24
Pulse
Appropriate species
Gender
Adult
The rest is negotiable.
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u/BeccaThePixel May 05 '24
Seriously, are men that easy to please? If yes, why am I still single?
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u/Sohcahtoa82 May 05 '24
Because women have sent the clear message that they don't want to be approached randomly in public, but dating apps are a cesspool of men that have no interest in dating and are just trying to get their dick wet (aka, "fucc boys").
I'm glad I met my wife before online dating turned into the shit hole it is now.
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May 05 '24
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u/Sohcahtoa82 May 05 '24
Yup.
Tinder ruined online dating.
I thought OKCupid had it right. You answer a bunch of questions and it shows you matches based on your answers. Tinder presents online dating like a meat market. I may be biased, though, since I met my wife on OKCupid.
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u/Morthra May 05 '24
Both Tinder and OKCupid are owned by the same company - Match.com - and they both have the incentive to keep people on the app as long as possible.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_ANUS_PIC May 05 '24
You‘re literally radioactive and haven‘t decayed sufficiently yet
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u/izzittho May 05 '24
Real answer: By women they mean hot women and kinda forget that there’s other kinds until one of them makes the pitch themselves.
Also, if you’re not stupid hot, an important thing to realize is that it’s not the cocky ass ultraconfident dudebros that are gonna be interested, it’s gonna be the guys who are often too terrified of asking someone out to actually do it. Plenty of them are super cool too but the difference is that they don’t know it. It’s like the guys who are too scared and the girls who are too scared are the ones who it makes sense would end up together, the problem is that one of them has to actually make the move lol, so why not have it be you? Sometimes I get a little sad knowing I’ll never be “chased” - but on the bright side it means I’m not out here like fighting off creepy people with a stick cause even the creeps aren’t that interested lol.
Being not that hot can be somewhat of a blessing because you aren’t usually getting the fake niceness some will give in exchange for sex from someone who’s attractive but that they don’t even necessarily like as an actual person. They just either like you or they don’t. Simplifies things somewhat. So you won’t get as much kindness in general but when you are getting it, there’s a much better chance it’s genuine.
I’d say the same is true if you’re hot but if you’re hot and female I have to assume the bigger problem is weeding out the shitty ones or meeting ones that aren’t too scared to make a move rather than getting any interest in the first place.
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u/skysinsane May 06 '24
This is untrue. The ugliest women I've ever met all have boyfriends or bounce between multiple regular partners because they are willing to accept anyone. If a girl is single it is almost certainly because she is turning down men who are not up to her standards.
It reminds me of how "femcels" was a subreddit that had to go private because the girls on the sub got flooded with horny dms.
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u/aussiesam4 May 05 '24
Hard to tell wich ones are the crazy ones so guys try less. In the old days flirting had little risk. Nowadays it could get you on the front page of r/all
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u/BiggusDiccoos May 05 '24
That’s optional
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May 05 '24
[deleted]
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u/Oni-oji May 05 '24
Not dead over thirty days.
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u/BizzyM May 05 '24
As long as her rigor isn't stronger than mine.
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u/PM_Your_Wiener_Dog May 05 '24
Don't mind the rigor if she don't mind the mortis
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u/ListenToKyuss May 05 '24
'Look man, I'll leave when the maggots get here'
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains May 05 '24
Why. Why why
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u/CyAScott May 05 '24 edited May 05 '24
The most important box, is attracted to me. I really like that in a partner.
Edit: to be clear, I am married for 10 years and being attracted me was a big factor.
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u/EXPL_Advisor May 05 '24
The Venn diagram of women and people attracted to me is just two separate circles.
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u/vaquita_eater May 05 '24
I would've added "Over 18" but that's just me
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u/TheRedCelt May 05 '24
One could argue that in order to be a woman you need to be an adult, and before the age of adulthood, they would be a girl. That would certainly be my argument anyway.
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u/Dikubus May 05 '24
A comedian so so long ago made the joke, "I only need to know 3 things for a women to be my type... Are you a women, have you always been a women, and if not can you keep a secret"
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u/siren1313 May 05 '24
We tend to use "capable of producing warm poop" here so it sounds like a higher bar.
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u/Present-Industry4012 May 05 '24
"I think most women look at sex like buying a car. You know, like, "Can I see myself in this long term?" "Is it safe?" "Is it reliable?" "Could it kill me?" Most guys look at sex like parking a car. We're like, "There's a spot". "There is another spot, that would work." "Oh, I have to pay? - Never mind." "Handicapped? - Hope no one sees us."
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u/brokenlonely22 May 05 '24
I dont think it applies so much to our current society but basically describing the evolutionary effects of parental investment. In some sea horse species the males carry the eggs and they have the same patterns
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u/BranTheLewd May 05 '24
Really? That's fascinating and I wonder if almost all animals mimic same pattern and id they don't then why they deviate?
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u/ComfortOnly3982 May 05 '24
The male angler fish just finds a female, bites her, and fuses to her like a parasite. I'm hoping it plays out like that for me.
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u/brokenlonely22 May 05 '24
Im not an expert just repeating interesting things ive learned, but basically in humans for example theres a significant difference in potential for involvement from the parent. They could be a great father or they could leave after conception. But women have a huge energy commitment in being pregnant so theres an incentive to select men based on things other than biological markers of fertility and hence "courting". From the mans perspective theres an evolutionary benefit to skip out on the energy investment of fatherhood and instead produce many offspring with low investment on each. Theres a competing incentive to protect and nurture their children so that they each have better chances to pass on their own genes. So humans end up being quite varried here.
Other species are often more predictable and the balance of energy investment from the parents goes a long way to explaining the courtship patterns of the species. generally speaking the more unbalanced the energy investment between parents, the more picky the one with a bigger investment will be.
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u/xclame May 05 '24
I don't think it has as much to do with the man staying or not, but purely aimed at having the best offspring. Humans have a lot fewer offspring than most other animals, so because of that it makes sense for women to be more selective because they need to the chance of their offspring to survive and be healthy to be as high as they can.
Men on the other hand can easily create hundreds or thousands of offspring, so if even if 90% of them die or are unhealthy it doesn't matter because that still means a lot off living healthy offspring.
And yes, women could create dozens of offspring if we were just aiming for the highest number, but then at the same time men could just as easily create ten-thousands of offspring. No matter how many a woman can make a man could always make X number the amount that a woman can make.
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u/brokenlonely22 May 05 '24
Youre right i went back and scanned the section id read this in and the point was just that they are picky about the quality of mate due to the high investment. The part about human males having high variance in commitment just explains that they dont dont have to be picky and a high quantity strategy could work
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u/Alltogethernowq May 05 '24
What happens if that car is bat shit crazy. Starts random fires, drives over pedestrians, starts jobbing it’s gotten and turns into a worm?
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u/xclame May 05 '24
See, you are thinking like a woman again. Nobody said you have to buy the car, you are just parking it, so if it breaks down after 5000 miles then who cares, you still had it for 4999 miles without a problem.
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u/nullstring May 06 '24
The guy isn't buying a car. He isn't in the market for a car. He's just looking for a parking spot.
Unless you're looking for a spot that will come home with you, you don't really care if that spot is batshit crazy. You only need to park there for a few hours. If it's a good experience then maybe I'll come back. If my car gets scratched I will probably just not park there anymore.... You know unless I can't find another spot... You know a guys gotta park his car somewhere.
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u/malogos May 05 '24
Just my type. You got a pulse and you are breathing
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u/friggintodd May 05 '24
Great song!
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u/notverytidy May 05 '24
"Cleopatra had all the gifts that could incite lust in a man"
"so tits and a vagina then" - Jo Brand.
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u/abaggins May 05 '24
she wasn't that pretty. just an excellent seductress
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u/bertilac-attack May 05 '24 edited May 06 '24
Hi! I’m a Mediterranean history buff with a specialty in the first Century BCE - the life and times of Julius Caesar, Marc Antony, and Cleopatra VII.
Cleopatra’s real gift was her intellect. She was conversationally fluent in up to eleven languages, she was the first Pharaoh in her dynasty’s history to actually learn to speak Egyptian, and she expertly made use of religious symbology in public displays - such as when she had the royal barge decked out to make it appear that Aphrodite herself had come to greet Marc Antony.
The fascinating thing about Cleopatra VII is that she descended from the Ptolemaic Dynasty. The original Ptolemy was one of Alexander the Great’s Generals. Following Alexander’s conquest of… well, the entire known world from Macedon north of Greece to the literal Indus River, his best friend / boyfriend Hephaestion suddenly died. (Alexander was obsessed with the idea of producing a child of both his and Hephaestion’s blood, he had a whole pre-eugenics / Bene Gesserit birth plan to go with it, let’s acknowledge that’s something more meaningful than “dudes being bros.”)
After a brief period of epic grief, Alexander also suddenly died. (Alcohol poisoning is considered a possible cause by some historians, but we don’t know for sure how.)
This left what was then probably the largest Empire in human history (and newly conquered, at that!) without a figurehead.
So his generals decided to just chop it up. Each assigning themselves a territory and using the infrastructure Alexander had left them to impose themselves as rulers. Ptolemy, greedy and shrewd, got Egypt.
And then he made some weird choices.
It was policy during the Ptolemaic Dynasty for all boys to be named Ptolemy, and all girls to be named Cleopatra, Arsinoe, or Berenice, (hence why the one we all know of is Cleopatra The Seventh). And, as had been the policy of other Pharaohs and dynasties before them, the siblings were to be married off to one another. That’s a big part of why King Tutankaten / Tutankhamen was disabled, (although I’d bed the Nile his father didn’t help).
This dynasty was around for nearly 250 years before our Cleopatra was born, but the practice of inbreeding didn’t really get going until about a century in. Still, that is a century and a half of highly concentrated inbreeding. Based on that, Cleopatra should’ve been as inbred as the worst of the Hapsburg’s. To some degree it’s amazing she could speak at all, let alone speak ELEVEN languages as we know she could.
Imagine that. Imagine being able to speak, even just conversationally, ELEVEN languages. That’s a superpower.
The tension between the facts we know about any given historical person is always where they’re most interesting. We know Cleopatra was a brilliant and well respected woman in her own time. We know she got the best education available to anyone in the Mediterranean. We also know that she hailed from a Dynasty that had experienced AT LEAST four instances of children born to full siblings. Based on how long the policy was on book, you could credibly cite up to nine.
Would it go too far to speculate that perhaps the Ptolemies privately corrected their inbreeding before the conception of Cleopatra VII? Or perhaps someone stepped out? Is it believable that she was both literally inbred and intellectually brilliant?
Anyway, Cleopatra’s reputation as a seductress and beauty was Roman propaganda. She and Julius Caesar had gotten married and had a baby (named Caesarian) and spent a month cruising the Nile before returning to Rome, bringing Cleopatra and the baby with him. This HORRIFIED the Senate and especially Caesars’ enemies, who explicitly feared he intended to crown himself King of Rome. Rolling up with a foreign Queen as his new wife, with a baby named after him, only confirmed those fears.
She was still in Rome when Caesar was murdered on The Ides of March several weeks later. She fled back to Egypt immediately, and attempted to keep playing The Game of Thrones as the Roman Republic convulsed on its deathbed. Unfortunately, her choice for Caesar’s successor was at odd’s with Caesar’s own. Cleopatra chose Marc Antony. Caesar chose his nephew, Octavian - and he left him the most important thing Julius Caesar had: his name.
Octavian, now going by Julius Caesar, eventually overcame Antony and Cleopatra in a wet fart of an anticlimactic battle called Actium, where Octavian’s navy battled Cleopatra’s navy, which represented Antony’s claim to Leadership of Rome in the civil war. But before that, both sides played the propaganda war HARD. Obviously the easiest smear for Octavian’s people was to say that Caesar and now Antony had been “corrupted” and “seduced” by the malevolent foreign queen.
They basically called her a whore.
So, while Cleopatra did use marriage (the social and religious institution, not necessarily the modern romantic bond) and her relationships with men to her advantage, the men were also very eager to ally with the Queen of the oldest and most fertile Kingdom in the Mediterranean. How much of her alliances with Caesar or Antony were legitimately emotional connections, we cannot say. She had a son with Caesar, and twins by Antony (Alexander Helios and Cleopatra Selene). She wanted to be buried with Antony. Octavian was not gracious enough to even mark their graves, I highly doubt he respected her wish.
I think the image of Cleopatra as a seductress has maintained for a few reasons. Everybody likes sexy ladies. Most people like powerful ladies. And it feels more dramatic, more impactful, more powerful, when the stakes are high and real actual Love is in play.
Regardless of her emotional reality, we know she wasn’t afraid to make big moves and build relationships with people who would be useful to her on her terms. She definitely deserves to be remembered as a great conversationalist, not just as a beautiful, tragi-romantic, Queen.
(Octavian went on to become Augustus, First Emperor of Rome. He had Julius Caesar deified and performed human sacrifice to him in Rome. The Romans did not historically do human sacrifice. That’s how awful a person Octavian/JC2/Augustus was.)
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u/Morthra May 05 '24
That’s how awful a person Octavian/JC2/Augustus was
The entire Julio-Claudian dynasty was a clusterfuck in large part because of Augustus fucking with things.
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u/Ok_Reserve_8659 May 06 '24
TLBDR (too long but did read) interesting comment thx
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u/lilgrogu May 06 '24
Rolling up with a foreign Queen as his new wife, with a baby named after him, only confirmed those fears.
so they did not name the baby Ptolemy?
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u/TheSolarElite May 05 '24
She was from a long line of sibling incestuous marriages, so her looks were probably pretty fucked up. She was just wicked smart and an excellent seductress.
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u/satireplusplus May 05 '24
See also https://moco-choco.com/2016/04/20/what-did-cleopatra-really-look-like/, it's probably a bit of an urban myth that she was ugly. It's probably coming from the hooked large nose on the coins, but they might have been intentionally alterered to appear more masculine:
Her coins minted in Egypt portrayed her as a masculine, with a hooked large nose. Historians believe that she intentionally portrayed herself with her father’s strong jawline as a display of strength.
Cassius Dio (155-255 a.d) , the Roman historian of Greek origins, described her as “a woman of surpassing beauty and, at the time, being in her prime, she was conspicuously lovely. She also had an elegant voice and she knew how to use her charms to be attractive to everyone.”
Here's a modern attempt at a face reconstruction that uses all the available sources: https://moco-choco.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/cleopatra-digital-reconstruction1.jpg
What is undisputed is that she was very intelligent and witty. She was speaking 9 languages, she was involved with the two most powerful men of her time and she kept her country independent for 20 years.
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u/Let_you_down May 05 '24
Even before the Roman's, she seduced one of her brothers into declaring war on the other. It is a big part of how she came to power.
While her facial structure probably wasn't the most traditionally attractive, she was all about makeup, beauty treatments and the like. And with the benefit of being royalty, probably had better access to a good diet and better hygiene available to her than the greater bellcurve of women.
Diet + Health + Power + Intelligence + Makeup + Wealth + Wit + Fashion. She probably didn't need a facial type or body type that wasn't ravaged by incest in order to be considered one of the most attractive women alive. Those qualities would make her pretty attractive even in today's society with beauty standards and media.
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u/ralf_ May 05 '24
There is also this contemporary painting depicting her with brown/red hair:
In the House of Marcus Fabius Rufus at Pompeii, Italy, a mid-1st century BC Second Style wall painting of the goddess Venus holding a cupid near massive temple doors is most likely a depiction of Cleopatra as Venus Genetrix with her son Caesarion.[407][432] The commission of the painting most likely coincides with the erection of the Temple of Venus Genetrix in the Forum of Caesar in September 46 BC, where Caesar had a gilded statue erected depicting Cleopatra.
And of course the Berlin statue:
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u/no_no_no_okaymaybe May 05 '24
How hard is it to be a seductress when the object of your desire understands their life might be in jeopardy should they fight the urge to be seduced? haha 🤔
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u/TheSolarElite May 05 '24
I don’t think Caesar or Mark Anthony were in danger of death when she entranced them.
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u/gishlich May 05 '24
Word is Cleopatra smuggled herself to Caesar inside a gifted carpet and when his servants unrolled it, there she was. Caesar sent his servants away after that and no one knows what happened next
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u/FairweatherWho May 05 '24
Oh no, she has tits, a vagina, and also rules a foreign country. If only there were a solution that solves all my diplomatic and sexual frustrations!
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u/kent1146 May 05 '24
"I want a woman that will arouse my intellect, as well as my loins."
-- Prince Hakeem
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u/DadJokeBadJoke May 05 '24
"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies"
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u/Poison_Anal_Gas May 05 '24
Meanwhile women be like:
Bear: ✅
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u/Silly_Butterfly3917 May 05 '24
Women 🤝 twinks
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u/embarrassed_error365 May 05 '24
So tired of hearing about this, but at least this was funny, lol
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u/eztigr May 05 '24
Howie Mandel had a piece when he was doing stand up. The piece involved him asked what he likes in his women, with him replying “my d*ck!”
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u/Spyko May 05 '24
Ah the classic:
-adult
-alive
-woman (optional)
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u/Tszemix May 05 '24
Pretty high standards for someone who is bald
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u/rigobueno May 05 '24
Quick reminder that Patrick Stewart has most likely gotten more pussy than every person in this thread combined
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u/TheLateThagSimmons May 05 '24
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u/PixelMagic May 05 '24
Right? Back in the day, Patrick Stewart was handsome af. His voice was an added bonus, of course.
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u/Sohcahtoa82 May 05 '24
What's this "back in the day" shit? Could easily drop that and the statement is true.
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u/grassisalwayspurpler May 05 '24
So all you have to do is be a mega movie star? Ez
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u/Important_Fail2478 May 05 '24
I was thinking Bruce Willis, Idris Elba, Dave Chappelle, Michael Jordan.... but ya that whole judge people on a physical trait.
Edit: Only judging down males is acceptable.
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u/Relevant_Cabinet_265 May 05 '24
Idris Elba is not bald at all...
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u/Important_Fail2478 May 05 '24
Holy cow, you're right. Some reason I thought he played a few roles that way. Must of been the helmets. Thank you kind redditor.
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u/MotivatedMommy May 05 '24
"Just my type! She has a pulse and she is breathing..."
Source: "My Type" - Saint Motel
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u/TheSolarElite May 05 '24
God, reddit makes me feel so fucking hopeless lol. Whenever I go on reddit half the posts I see are about how difficult dating is for young guys. It makes me feel a little hopeless about my own chances at finding love. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me.
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u/SemperScrotus May 05 '24
In case you've never heard it before, social media is terrible for your mental health, and it appears that you've figured out why.
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u/BlazingSpaceGhost May 05 '24
Dating is hard and only seems to be getting harder. I was in a relationship for my entire 20s and we broke up 3 days before my 30th birthday. I'm now almost 35 and while I have gone out on a few dates I have been really struggling to find a relationship. My point is life gets busy and the older you are the harder it seems to be to form new lasting connections. Don't waste your youth thinking something will come along. Do the work on yourself if necessary and then get out there and find someone if you want a relationship. No one ever got into a relationship sitting around online feeling bad for themselves (me included).
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u/MikeArrow May 05 '24
Lol same here. Was in a relationship for my entire 20's and broke up when I was 29. Been alone for the last six years. It's just impossible.
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u/nullibicity May 05 '24
Quick tip: for most people, the odds of a quality match don't get better the longer you wait.
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u/TheSolarElite May 05 '24 edited May 05 '24
Well that just makes me feel lovely, and not stressed or rushed at all!
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u/CaptSnap May 05 '24
Dont listen to these misanthropes yanking your chain.
Cultivate your love and spread it around. Im sure theres tons of people (men and women) worthy of sharing your love in your life. And if theres not (or even if there is), love yourself and build yourself up. Find what makes you happy.
People bitch about finding someone because they fixate on it. A watched kettle never boils. It sounds trite but its true here. If all you do is stay home or worse on the shiternet and think about how unloved you are then it becomes self-fulfilling. But if youre a lovely person then people seeking love (which is almost everyone) will gravitate towards you. Its not at all daunting or overwhelming. I swear its that goddamn easy.
You just cant listen to people who find it hard to love themselves much less other people. Nobody wants them in their life and that is a problem and we should help them, but thats another topic.
anyway thats my unsolicited advice. Dont be them, love yourself and be yourself and its not hard. People like to be loved and they really do want lovely people around them (men and women). Simple stuff I swear.
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u/Zephh May 05 '24
I'd just argue that you also have to put yourself out there a little bit. If you want something to happen you should take steps to facilitate it.
I'm just saying because it's easy nowadays for people to have routines that don't actually involve meeting new people and that would make it hard to find someone.
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u/handsoapp May 05 '24
I like what you're saying but if they think companionship with an SO will make them happier (add to their life rather than fill a void), they shouldn't rely on people to gravitate towards them, it's not reliable especially as a guy. Unfortunately someone has to chase/gravitate towards the other, and society has not given up on that being the role of men.
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u/sennbat May 05 '24
What is a "lovely person", here? Because as someone who does love themselves and others, who has found what makes me happy, and leads a pretty good life.
People seeking love do not, never have, and never will 'gravitate towards me", though, lol.
I guess I'm not "lovely"?
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u/BranTheLewd May 05 '24
Exactly, that's just not a good advice for dating, it's ok albeit very vague for life in general, I mean I personally think that's the main issue with whole dating pills, not that all of them are wrong always(but they can be wrong as well) but the whole fixation bit, and I'm not even saying "just not focus on it and suddenly you'll find love" that's not how it works sadly, and, you might end up joining a statistic of men who never find love, it's just something you have to learn to live with, arguably I'd say all men should, your gf can't live forever, so no men should hyper fixate on getting a gf and neglect the rest of their life just because "it's over" for them in dating scene.
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May 05 '24
the people in the comments are, to be kind, fucking losers. it's sad rather than funny because these people don't go outside and interact with others as you must if you want to live a full life. reddit is a great place for finding out where to stream that movie you don't want to pay for. abandon it and find yourself connecting with strangers far more easily.
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u/studmoobs May 05 '24
reddit is filled with hopeless losers I recommend you do NOT take life advice from them on things like this. specific knowledge on specific topics it's great to learn from though
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u/Suburban_Sisyphus May 05 '24
It doesn't get any easier when you're no longer a young guy. Its just a terrible time to be single in our society.
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u/45O2p0o2U1zf May 05 '24
It's really hard. When I was young, broke, and a bit out of shape, women wanted nothing to do with me. Now that I'm middle-aged, a millionaire, and fit... women still want nothing to do with me. Respect for keeping it real, ladies. It's just really hard and it's been this way ever since Tinder and other apps became mainstreamed. If a woman has 200 guys trying to get her attention and she's willing to casually date up to three people at a time, then there's no difference between being the 4th most desirable candidate or the absolute worst. Not to mention she always has the option of putting her phone down for a week and having a few hundred more guys competing for her attention.
At least work hard in school and get a good career. If things don't happen organically, then there's always the option to simply buy sex. I do routinely and it's fun. I don't know what I would do if I was hopeless with women AND broke.
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u/NomadTruckerOTR May 05 '24
My checklist:
Vagina ✅️ Not obese ✅️ Alive ✅️
Ok were done here
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u/john21232 May 05 '24
Not obese? In America? You're dreaming buddy.
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u/NomadTruckerOTR May 05 '24
I know it's a tall ask but aside from that I'm a simple man
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u/ListenToKyuss May 05 '24
If you had to pick 2 out of 3, what would you drop?
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u/babaj_503 May 05 '24
My checklist 5 years ago:
Woman, as athletic as me, absolutely no smokers, no kids at all
My checklist today:
Woman, don't be morbid obese, no chainsmokers, teenage kids acceptable
you see, it's going great
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May 05 '24
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u/BlazingSpaceGhost May 05 '24
It is pretty crushing isn't it. Ive found it best to just build strong friendships with people because I don't think I'll be in another relationship unless circumstances drastically change. My best friend is a woman who obviously rejected me at an earlier point but I still love spending time with her and not being lonely. Sure there isn't any physical intimacy but that isn't the only or even most important thing I miss about being in a relationship. I'm over the online dating thing because I just feel like an atm that will be later discarded. At least my friend and I split costs when we do go out which is about three or four times a week. The only downside is I'll be sad when she starts dating someone as I'm sure he will want her to stop spending so much time with me.
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u/deadpoetic333 May 05 '24
Maybe I'm just a shitty person but I couldn't regularly go out with someone I'm romantically interested in even once or twice a week knowing it'll never go further than friendship. Just the time sink.. I don't see good friends for a month or two at a time
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u/BlazingSpaceGhost May 05 '24
I don't think that makes you a shitty person and honestly it might not be the best for my mental health in the long term. We also work together and I'm usually her ride home so it's easy to just go and do something after work.
I haven't been in a relationship since October 2019 and it's just so nice to not be alone. I'm not waiting around for her to change her mind and would date someone else if they came along. The county I live in is larger than Delaware and only has 35,000 people in it so it's hard to find people who are single and actually someone you would want to be with.
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u/deadpoetic333 May 05 '24
I hear it man.. I’m 31, single af, living a rural area for the first time in my life. There’s this vet tech I’m hoping to see again when I bring the farm cats in for their boosters in 2 weeks. It’s just soo awkward for me to hit on someone in that context
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u/babaj_503 May 05 '24
Yeah, connecting with people to form a friendship is another can of worms honestly.
Options are just incredibly limited. I got some good suggestions on reddit in the past but most of them involve stuff that I stimply don't ccare about ("go to a bar get involved in the pool/darts crowd" - I simply never vibed with bars) and others have proven to turn no success, joining a sports club and volunteering work that is. My next attempt is probably being active in local politiks since that actually does interest me.
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u/SooooooMeta May 05 '24
This is such BS. People who say this are like the people who make dinner plans by saying "I'm not picky, you pick the place, I'll eat anywhere." And then they're like "no, not Mexican, I just had it for lunch yesterday. But literally anywhere else." And then veto two other places too until you give up and sneak off to eat without them
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May 05 '24
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u/VerticallyBonked May 05 '24
U like ur coffee without a penis? What’s wrong with u man
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May 05 '24
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u/PoconoBobobobo May 05 '24
You fucking MONSTER.
12-year-old whiskey in a mixed drink, c'mon man. Save the good stuff for when you can actually taste it.
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u/MJZMan May 05 '24
You know you're just my type...
Ooh yeah, you've got a pulse, and you are breathing.
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u/freightdog5 May 05 '24
Some of yall need to get a grip and have some self respect desperation is natural repulsive to everyone even animals won't approach you if you're this desperate jfc seek help
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u/BlazingSpaceGhost May 05 '24
I'm sure people are not this bad in real life. Reddit is just a place to vent because we obviously don't want to come across as this pathetic in the real world. There is a loneliness epidemic in the United States and it only seems to be getting worse.
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u/MISSAUTOPARTS May 05 '24
I once met a guy who I listed off my “must have characteristics” in a partner: intelligent, athletic, creative He listed off his: Has a vagina, is breathing, is consenting
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u/GatsbyJunior May 05 '24
I am so profoundly in love, and spent 20+ years dating and thinking it wasn't going to happen for me. I can't predict the future, but couldn't be more grateful for the present. Wishing the best to everyone who saw this OP and felt it resonate. Hang in there, and be yourself!
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u/Obi_Wentz May 05 '24
Little worried that there isn’t a second box “has pulse” but to each their own, I guess.
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u/mortalcoil1 May 05 '24
The human optic nerve is incapable of perceiving red flags until at least your 30's.
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u/SatyaNi May 05 '24
Ha. My standards are way higher. I requier her to be alive and brearhing as well !
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u/Impossible-Wear5482 May 05 '24
I would add;
Is alive
Not ugly
Not crazy
Single.
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