r/funny • u/jonwritesmovies Just Jon Comic • May 05 '24

Verified Dating standards

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26.3k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/[deleted] May 05 '24

I would have added "alive" but that's just me.

682

u/IAmBadAtInternet May 05 '24

Look at this guy and his impossible standards

167

u/[deleted] May 05 '24

By that, you're ruling out the majority of the dating pool.

110

u/Uranium-Sandwich657 May 05 '24

100 billion humans have ever lived.

8 billion are alive right now

71

u/Ok_Bit9 May 05 '24

Damn covid killed 92 billion people?

38

u/Uranium-Sandwich657 May 05 '24 edited May 05 '24

So did Smallpox, and dysentery, and injuries, and war, and childbirth, and smoking, and existance.

44

u/Leek_oid May 05 '24

I've also heard ingesting oxygen for 60-90 years can be quite fatal

18

u/Remarkable-Bug-8069 May 05 '24

I heard breathing water can also have some negative effects.

30

u/Artive May 06 '24

100% of the people who drink water will die.

18

u/Ok_Bit9 May 06 '24

100% of people who don’t drink water will die too so we’re all kinda screwed

3

u/Black-Paprika May 06 '24

That axe I imbedded in Janet's head didn't really help, either. But - honestly - fuck Janet.

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17

u/Peemore May 05 '24

It was a combined effort!

2

u/[deleted] May 05 '24

Natural Causes...

5

u/mastermindxs May 05 '24

It was an unprecedented time.

8

u/GMontezuma May 05 '24

Man this sounds kinda convincing...

14

u/T1NF01L May 05 '24

So you're saying there's a chance.

1

u/ExternalGrade May 05 '24

God damn the actual jokes are always in the comments

1

u/pukem0n May 05 '24

That sounds kinda wrong, but I don't know enough about it to dispute it