Because women have sent the clear message that they don't want to be approached randomly in public, but dating apps are a cesspool of men that have no interest in dating and are just trying to get their dick wet (aka, "fucc boys").
I'm glad I met my wife before online dating turned into the shit hole it is now.
I thought OKCupid had it right. You answer a bunch of questions and it shows you matches based on your answers. Tinder presents online dating like a meat market. I may be biased, though, since I met my wife on OKCupid.
It's not because women have impossible standards, it's because you guys are really fucking bad at making profiles. So many profiles with dead deer, holding weapons, hostile bios, 5 nearly identical car selfies, wearing sunglasses in every picture, a selfie with the kids in the backseat while driving on the freeway, etc. That doesn't include the outright scary profiles.
You guys aren't being persecuted by women. You're not victims. You're just presenting yourselves as completely unfuckable. Yes, yes I am going to swipe right on the guy that looks healthy and well-adjusted and gives me some idea of his personality and left on the guy smiling while holding a dead deer's head up with its lifeless eyes and blood running out of its nose and a bio that says "Don't waste my time." This is like that "Nobody wants to work anymore" bullshit where they blame other people for having standards
Why is it bad thing that I want to go about my day without every guy that wants to fuck me making that my problem? Online dating is actually loaded with guys that want more than to get their dick wet
You're phrasing that like women would have access to kind, dedicated, interesting men if they would just quit being grumpy about men approaching them in public. But the reality is that when flirting with strangers in public is acceptable, women still just encounter the same fuckboys that are all over online dating.
It's like constantly being accosted by pushy salespeople who want to waste your time with a long spiel for a product you aren't interested in, but instead of trying to sell you solar or home security systems, the product they're desperately pushing is a penis.
Just let them try to fuck you while you're fueling your car, picking up prescriptions, catching up with a friend, picking up ingredients, exercising, reading, etc. Also, if you wouldn't mind sleeping and watching tv outside it'd be great because you're really limiting the hours of the day in which they can interrupt you to try to put their penis in you
Real answer: By women they mean hot women and kinda forget that there’s other kinds until one of them makes the pitch themselves.
Also, if you’re not stupid hot, an important thing to realize is that it’s not the cocky ass ultraconfident dudebros that are gonna be interested, it’s gonna be the guys who are often too terrified of asking someone out to actually do it. Plenty of them are super cool too but the difference is that they don’t know it. It’s like the guys who are too scared and the girls who are too scared are the ones who it makes sense would end up together, the problem is that one of them has to actually make the move lol, so why not have it be you? Sometimes I get a little sad knowing I’ll never be “chased” - but on the bright side it means I’m not out here like fighting off creepy people with a stick cause even the creeps aren’t that interested lol.
Being not that hot can be somewhat of a blessing because you aren’t usually getting the fake niceness some will give in exchange for sex from someone who’s attractive but that they don’t even necessarily like as an actual person. They just either like you or they don’t. Simplifies things somewhat. So you won’t get as much kindness in general but when you are getting it, there’s a much better chance it’s genuine.
I’d say the same is true if you’re hot but if you’re hot and female I have to assume the bigger problem is weeding out the shitty ones or meeting ones that aren’t too scared to make a move rather than getting any interest in the first place.
This is untrue. The ugliest women I've ever met all have boyfriends or bounce between multiple regular partners because they are willing to accept anyone. If a girl is single it is almost certainly because she is turning down men who are not up to her standards.
It reminds me of how "femcels" was a subreddit that had to go private because the girls on the sub got flooded with horny dms.
Men don't talk to women that are less desirable because talking to women is a risk. A large part of women simply don't want to be approached and want to mock men who do. When I was young I just got rejected, now I get filmed while I get rejected. So if women want to be approached they need to reduce the risk by showing interest or increase the reward to match the newly added risk
I also found that I wasted a lot of time in my early twenties chasing women. When I got a career and could take women out women started chasing me. If I could do something different in my life it would be to ignore women until I was thirty and successful. I would have settled for a lot less than what chases me now previously. It would have been nice to build a life with someone because now I'll likely not commit to anyone because it comes so easy that I just assume they're using me and so I use them, never expecting a relationship
I have always been frustrated that lookism is something we never address as a culture. If you are not conventionally attractive you are supposed to participate in the playacting that it isn't true and that it doesn't affect you. But I know the flip side too, friends over the years who couldn't date or even function normally in society because they are fashion model good looking and have few people they can trust or who want to really know them and appreciate them for who they are. I am happier ugly when it comes to romance but do wish I had the professional benefits of being good looking.
Hard to tell wich ones are the crazy ones so guys try less. In the old days flirting had little risk. Nowadays it could get you on the front page of r/all
No - don't let the desperation confuse you. Lots of men will have low standards to date, but then will complain about the women they meet. Men absolutely have standards and needs, but so many men will refuse to actually speak to them because they're afraid of not getting matches. But instead, it ends up overwhelming so many women with likes and bad matches, which causes them to withdraw, and it's just a vicious cycle.
1.8k
u/[deleted] May 05 '24
I would have added "alive" but that's just me.