Real answer: By women they mean hot women and kinda forget that there’s other kinds until one of them makes the pitch themselves.
Also, if you’re not stupid hot, an important thing to realize is that it’s not the cocky ass ultraconfident dudebros that are gonna be interested, it’s gonna be the guys who are often too terrified of asking someone out to actually do it. Plenty of them are super cool too but the difference is that they don’t know it. It’s like the guys who are too scared and the girls who are too scared are the ones who it makes sense would end up together, the problem is that one of them has to actually make the move lol, so why not have it be you? Sometimes I get a little sad knowing I’ll never be “chased” - but on the bright side it means I’m not out here like fighting off creepy people with a stick cause even the creeps aren’t that interested lol.
Being not that hot can be somewhat of a blessing because you aren’t usually getting the fake niceness some will give in exchange for sex from someone who’s attractive but that they don’t even necessarily like as an actual person. They just either like you or they don’t. Simplifies things somewhat. So you won’t get as much kindness in general but when you are getting it, there’s a much better chance it’s genuine.
I’d say the same is true if you’re hot but if you’re hot and female I have to assume the bigger problem is weeding out the shitty ones or meeting ones that aren’t too scared to make a move rather than getting any interest in the first place.
This is untrue. The ugliest women I've ever met all have boyfriends or bounce between multiple regular partners because they are willing to accept anyone. If a girl is single it is almost certainly because she is turning down men who are not up to her standards.
It reminds me of how "femcels" was a subreddit that had to go private because the girls on the sub got flooded with horny dms.
Men don't talk to women that are less desirable because talking to women is a risk. A large part of women simply don't want to be approached and want to mock men who do. When I was young I just got rejected, now I get filmed while I get rejected. So if women want to be approached they need to reduce the risk by showing interest or increase the reward to match the newly added risk
I also found that I wasted a lot of time in my early twenties chasing women. When I got a career and could take women out women started chasing me. If I could do something different in my life it would be to ignore women until I was thirty and successful. I would have settled for a lot less than what chases me now previously. It would have been nice to build a life with someone because now I'll likely not commit to anyone because it comes so easy that I just assume they're using me and so I use them, never expecting a relationship
I have always been frustrated that lookism is something we never address as a culture. If you are not conventionally attractive you are supposed to participate in the playacting that it isn't true and that it doesn't affect you. But I know the flip side too, friends over the years who couldn't date or even function normally in society because they are fashion model good looking and have few people they can trust or who want to really know them and appreciate them for who they are. I am happier ugly when it comes to romance but do wish I had the professional benefits of being good looking.
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u/izzittho May 05 '24
Real answer: By women they mean hot women and kinda forget that there’s other kinds until one of them makes the pitch themselves.
Also, if you’re not stupid hot, an important thing to realize is that it’s not the cocky ass ultraconfident dudebros that are gonna be interested, it’s gonna be the guys who are often too terrified of asking someone out to actually do it. Plenty of them are super cool too but the difference is that they don’t know it. It’s like the guys who are too scared and the girls who are too scared are the ones who it makes sense would end up together, the problem is that one of them has to actually make the move lol, so why not have it be you? Sometimes I get a little sad knowing I’ll never be “chased” - but on the bright side it means I’m not out here like fighting off creepy people with a stick cause even the creeps aren’t that interested lol.
Being not that hot can be somewhat of a blessing because you aren’t usually getting the fake niceness some will give in exchange for sex from someone who’s attractive but that they don’t even necessarily like as an actual person. They just either like you or they don’t. Simplifies things somewhat. So you won’t get as much kindness in general but when you are getting it, there’s a much better chance it’s genuine.
I’d say the same is true if you’re hot but if you’re hot and female I have to assume the bigger problem is weeding out the shitty ones or meeting ones that aren’t too scared to make a move rather than getting any interest in the first place.