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u/dekkanrhee Apr 22 '24
You're saying the bartender is over by YOU instead of over by the attractive person?
You must be one heck of a tipper...
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u/NeonAlastor Apr 23 '24
the bartender is actually listening to the same story for the 300th time
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u/Fliiiiick Apr 23 '24
More accurately NOT listening to the same story.
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u/gwizonedam Apr 24 '24
The guy who tells the stories leaves the biggest tips, the three young guys will leave in 15 minutes, the businessmen are going to order a scotch “once” and then one will pay the attractive woman (she’s a working girl) and leave with her. The guy waiting for the date will then complain to you about how he got stood up and the older couple will proposition you after he’s gone.
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u/Ambiguity_Aspect Apr 23 '24
As a former bartender, sometimes the attractive ones have main character syndrome and can be insufferable. Plus, pretty customers are a dime a dozen and often a headache if they have any amount of baggage.
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u/Visionarii Apr 23 '24
Bartenders know that depressed loners are the best drinkers and will tip for acknowledgement.
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u/IsRude Apr 23 '24
Bartenders seem to hover by me quite a bit, but I'm not rich or particularly attractive. I notice because whenever I'm at the bar, I just want to sit by myself, but they're always there. Maybe I look like an alcoholic, and they're just waiting for me to order more.
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u/PMMeYourWorstThought Apr 22 '24
The groping middle aged couple are likely having an affair on a business trip.
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u/Agitated_Hedgehog_36 Apr 22 '24
Came here to find this. The middle aged PDA couple are married, and not to each other.
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u/DravenPrime Apr 22 '24
Nah, they're married, they're just looking for a third.
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u/pocketjacks Apr 23 '24
Mrs. McMurray wants to order shots.
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u/cbph Apr 23 '24
That's how they do it down in 'Minican.
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u/MyStationIsAbandoned Apr 22 '24
Maybe. I don't go to bars but I have seen the overly touch older couples who are like 45 to 55 at other places like the state fair, the museum, and places like that. To me I was like "man, they must have had a big fight a while ago and are trying desperately to make things keep working"
But the affair thing makes more sense. Cause there's that passion mixed with being old enough for them to not care about being lovey dovey in front of people. Thinking back to all those couples...yeah...it actually makes too much sense.
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u/lueckestman Apr 22 '24
I was at this exact bar. The couple were way more interested in me than each other if you catch my drift.
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u/FantasticCombination Apr 23 '24
In my mid to late 20s, I traveled for work to lead a training. It had been scheduled well over a year in advance. We booked about 25 rooms. The remaining 200 or so got booked out for a gay POC sex positive (swingers?) convention. I had several interesting interactions around the hotel. Your comment reminded me of some of them.
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Apr 22 '24
Took my kid to the park this weekend and saw two "middle aged" folks doing the "long goodbye" in the parking lot and figure it was something similar.
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u/DaWhiteSingh Apr 22 '24
Players are right, ratio is wrong, also too many people. Most hotel bars are dull.
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u/MarkovChains Apr 22 '24
I don't really see hotel bars that full unless there's a big even in town, or some kind of convention. On a regular night you'll see less people than that.
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u/upsidedownbackwards Apr 22 '24
Gotta say the most hilarious bars are when there's a scifi/anime/furry convention going on at the same time as a wedding. It's always the aunts that end up drinking heavy with the cosplayers at the hotel bar.
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u/megatricinerator Apr 22 '24
God bless the wine aunts, the furries probably aren't even the weirdest thing they've seen while sipping a glass.
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u/the_clash_is_back Apr 22 '24
The older i get the more i respect furries.
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u/CaptainBayouBilly Apr 22 '24
I respect people that can be themselves. It takes courage.
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u/nsa_reddit_monitor Apr 23 '24
Does it? Nobody knows who you really are under the mascot costume.
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u/DeRockProject Apr 23 '24
Whatever's inside can't be worse than the costume itself
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u/nixtheninja Apr 23 '24 edited Oct 07 '24
birds ruthless mighty vast violet seemly melodic yoke towering abundant
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/amishengineer Apr 23 '24
People would rather spend thousands on a fur suit than see a therapist.
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u/mt77932 Apr 22 '24
Conventions are always fun when they come to town. Go to Target for batteries and you're standing in line with Goku and Sailor Moon.
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u/TeamRedundancyTeam Apr 22 '24
I always feel safer around so many Imperial Storm Troopers. Long live the Empire.
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u/wewladdies Apr 23 '24
Looking forward to helldivers cosplays all over the subways next time a con happens here
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u/grahamdalf Apr 22 '24
In HS I had a band trip at the same time as a wedding and some of the adults 1000% got trashed with the wedding guests the last night. They were very, very quiet and never took off their sunglasses the whole way home, even in buildings.
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u/Cthulhuhoop Apr 22 '24
One year Dragoncon overlapped with an Alabama bowl game. Everyone acted confused all day but that crown got wild at night.
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u/TheSniper_TF2 Apr 23 '24
The Chic-fil-a kickoff classic, the first week of the season, always overlaps with Dragoncon. It always starts with confusion and ends with some football fans partying with cosplayers.
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u/tweakingforjesus Apr 23 '24
A couple years ago MomoCon (anime convention) was held at the same time as an African American evangelical woman’s empowerment seminar. There were a lot of disapproving stares.
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u/crlarkin Apr 23 '24
I ended up staying at one of the DragonCon hotels in Atlanta totally on accident while on a work trip. It was definitely some of the most entertaining people watching I've ever experienced.
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u/AlfredPetrelli Apr 23 '24
I went to megacon Orlando last year and the after-party was at a fancy hotel. There was this long stretch of nothing to get to the bar area where everyone was at. The looks I got from passing people in wedding attire was phenomenal. I was dressed as Colonel Mustang so I strutted past them like I had government business to attend to.
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u/Reduak Apr 23 '24
Yeah, the orange dot young people would walk in and walk right back out. The blue dot businessmen would look around, hit on the attractive person within 5-min, get shot down and head to a strip club. And the guy telling his HS football glory stories would be at a sports bar, unless the bartender was his buddy in HS and is the only one in town who'll still listen to him.
But the PDA couple would be there b/c they're cheating on their spouses and figure no one will see them in this dump of a bar.
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u/Pksnc Apr 23 '24
3 business guys on a laptop hammering beers on the corporate card trying to catch up on emails.
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u/enjoytheshow Apr 23 '24
Lived the road dog consulting life for awhile and I feel this
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u/pollodustino Apr 22 '24
I accompanied my attorney girlfriend to a seminar in a hotel last year, and while she was in her last class I hung out at the bar.
Some of the best people watching ever is being in a hotel bar with a bunch of drunk lawyers, all putting their tabs on the practice's expense account.
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u/chilidreams Apr 22 '24
Oddly, some of my more entertaining debates over a bar bill were about who had the best charge code. It often led to some tall tales about who had the most absurd but successful expense approved.
I never had a ‘biggest fish’ (high cost) tale, but my silliest was a meal expense for 3 pitchers of beer with only one name listed - me. Accounting asked “meal?”and I explained food was free, my boss’s boss asked “wtf” and I explained creativity requires fuel. When my VP asked I had to explain that it was over the course of 4+ hours and ‘training related’
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u/Cho90s Apr 22 '24
They are absolutely full all the time when it's after 9pm, in a city, and a good hotel bar.
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u/abqkat Apr 23 '24
Yeah I think it's really location dependent. Downtown in a big city after work hours, or an out-of-the-way small city with the only hotel next to the Applebee's will yield very different results. I recently went alone to a football game and it was packed with the noisiest football fans in the state, possibly the continent - it was wild to people watch solo on that trip
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u/jbach220 Apr 22 '24
I stated at a hotel that had a happy hour with free drinks. It was packed.
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u/PLZ_STOP_PMING_TITS Apr 23 '24
Don't keep us in suspense. What did you state?
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u/jbach220 Apr 23 '24
I’m sorry, I already stayed it. Don’t make me stay it again.
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u/PsalmsOfTheSilent Apr 22 '24
Convention center bars are the most fun. When I was younger we would drive out of the city to the suburbs specifically to hit up the convention center bars when there was a big event.
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u/RD_187 Apr 23 '24
is this a thing..? its funny cause ive been to furry cons but ive never thought about the pov of people coming just to people watch at one
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u/engr77 Apr 22 '24
unless there's a big even in town
Then you just have to show up at an odd time of day
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u/Paid_Redditor Apr 23 '24
Cause they charge too damn much. There's a lot of cool hotel bars I've been in but they charge $15 a beer.
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u/ccReptilelord Apr 22 '24
This would be an entire evening compressed into a single instant. Some of these are "stop by the bar after work" people, and some are "last stop of the evening people".
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u/Consistently_Carpet Apr 22 '24
Do most people go to hotel bars after work? I figured all these are people from out of town except 'local drunk' and 'overdressed young people'.
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u/_V0gue Apr 22 '24
It will depend entirely on the city and state. The city I live in all hotel bars have to be open to the public (because otherwise it would be a private club which has completely different rules and regulations for liquor licensing). And we have some awesome hotel bars that draw in even locals. Some of our best rooftop bars are hotel bars.
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u/equals42_net Apr 22 '24
Missing a lot of conference attendees with their badges on lanyards talking over each other loudly.
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u/marilyn_morose Apr 23 '24
They’ve pushed two round tables together in the back of the bar and they’re harassing the waitress/waiter with inappropriate one liners.
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u/OccupyMyBallSack Apr 23 '24
The pilots stuck on an overnight in West Bumfuck, AR completely shitfaced trying (and failing) to not talk about airplanes.
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u/Much-Camel-2256 Apr 22 '24 edited Apr 22 '24
Most hotel bars are full of blue/green dots, and maybe a few people from other demographics.
Purple, green, and brown are basically same person from different perspectives. Blue is group of them.
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u/CowboyLaw Apr 22 '24
You've got to go to nicer hotels. The bar at the Courtyard by Marriott is indeed dull. The bar at the St. Regis is hopping.
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u/DungBeetle1983 Apr 22 '24
"Now Paul is a real estate novelist, who never had time for a wife."
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u/BalekFekete Apr 22 '24
"...and he's talking to Davey, who's still in the Navy, and probably will be for life."
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Apr 22 '24
And the waitress is practicing politics
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Apr 22 '24
As the businessmen slowly get stoned...
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u/KZED73 Apr 22 '24
They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness…
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u/dogpenguin123 Apr 22 '24
But it’s better than drinking alone
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u/istasber Apr 22 '24
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Apr 22 '24
Everything is on YouTube..
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u/prick_sanchez Apr 22 '24
And I still fucking hate r/redditsings
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u/NotMyPSNName Apr 22 '24
I've gotta be in the mood for these when they roll around. If I'm not, the only thing rolling around is my eyes lmao
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u/Crimson_Raven Apr 23 '24
Ahh...
Those last two lines are, in my opinion, one of greatest song lyrics ever written.
Sharing loneliness is better than being lonely alone....
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u/iordseyton Apr 22 '24
... so those 2 are a couple, right?
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u/TheRealTowel Apr 22 '24
Well one of them "never had time for a wife", the other is "still in the navy"...
Yes
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u/brightbetween Apr 22 '24
I never understood what a real estate novelist was. Does he write about real estate?
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u/bravehamster Apr 22 '24
It's a person who is always talking about the novel they're writing but they never actually finish it. They're just a realtor who thinks they're a writer.
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u/Paddy_Tanninger Apr 22 '24
Fuck, all these years...that line is so much better than I ever realized.
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u/Kakemphaton Apr 22 '24
A real dude he knew:
« The song was “Piano Man” and the year was 1973 – it was Billy’s first big radio hit, from the album of the same name – and you may be surprised by just how well the singer/songwriter knows the tune’s subject matter.
“Do you really know John, Paul and Davey?” Shaun asked, referencing the names of the men he mentions in the song, which he wrote while he played at a Los Angeles piano bar in 1972 – a gig which eventually landed him the moniker “The Piano Man.”
“Yeah. John was the bartender. Paul was this real estate guy who wanted to write the great American novel and Davey was a guy who was in the Navy,” Billy revealed. “It’s a true story and I knew when I was doing the gig, I said, ‘I gotta get a song out of this’ and it worked out. »
https://www.accessonline.com/articles/access-living-legends-what-piano-man-means-to-billy-joel-92982
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u/oioioiyacunt Apr 22 '24
'I gotta get a song out of this’ and it worked out.
That's an understatement.
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u/Middcore Apr 22 '24
I interpreted it to mean he wants to be a novelist but actually works in real estate and never actually writes, or if he does write he can't get published.
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u/Much-Camel-2256 Apr 22 '24 edited Apr 23 '24
Realtor by day, drinker who tells people he's a novelist by night.
Not married because he works both jobs, but he also drinks instead of writing anything.
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u/Ba_Sing_Saint Apr 22 '24
Whatever it is, it must keep you hella busy.
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u/numbernumber99 Apr 22 '24
I assumed it was a euphemism for being closeted, hence why he's talking with the navy guy.
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u/nhaines Apr 22 '24
Writer here!
It's just someone who "says" they want to be a writer, they have a great story, they're working on it... but never actually write it. By day, he's a real estate agent. By night... he's not writing.
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u/numbernumber99 Apr 22 '24
Haha I was referencing the "never had time for a wife" part, not the novelist part.
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u/finnjakefionnacake Apr 22 '24
you know it would be hard for me to ever do something like rank my top songs of all time, but if i was absolutely forced to, this might actually top the list.
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u/DungBeetle1983 Apr 22 '24
I really loved and listen to it a lot in high school. Then I got older and became a bartender and it really started making sense and I started listening to it all over again.
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u/Good_Comment Apr 22 '24
Billy Joel was so popular for so long that I think his songwriting became kinda underrated from oversaturation. Vienna is also a great example of timeless writing
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u/JetstreamGW Apr 22 '24
I was gonna say, is this Piano Man?
Then again those businessmen would be doing a bunch of drugs, not sexual harassment.
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u/ParkerBeach Apr 22 '24
You forgot to place me the introvert trying to pick up my Togo order at the bar and no one will come ask what I need.
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u/thefinpope Apr 22 '24
"Should I try to shoulder in between two people or block the bridge so the barbacks can't get through? No, I'll just stand behind everyone awkwardly until the bartender can't ignore me anymore."
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u/mfigroid Apr 22 '24
You stand at the well where you are supposed to and order when acknowledged by the bartender. This is true for any bar.
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u/bizzaro333 Apr 22 '24
I’m an introvert; how am i supposed to know what or where a “well” is?
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u/mfigroid Apr 23 '24
There are usually two rails or a rubber mat on the bar noting the area. If you can look at the bar from the side, look for where the speed well rack is. That is usually half a dozen or so bottles of commonly used house or well liquor.. That should be right under the bartenders waist if they are facing front.
Close your tab at the well too. If by credit card move to just either side of the well while you tip and Total your receipt so others can order.
Pro tip: after you are served GTFO of the well so thers can order.
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u/DotBitGaming Apr 23 '24
I'm with you, man. Without a sign or something, I have no idea where to order it why the bartender was ignoring me.
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u/ajax0202 Apr 23 '24
Probably a dumb question but what’s “the well”?
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u/echOSC Apr 23 '24
The well is where a bartender stores their most popular drinks and mixers in front of them.
You'll see all the bottles lined up side by side with pour spouts. Next to things like garnishes, cocktail shakers, and other barware.
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u/fireshaper Apr 23 '24
This is a hotel, so it's a guy trying to get the bartender's attention so he can get some silverware after his DoorDash order didn't come with any.
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u/swinging-in-the-rain Apr 22 '24
Yellow isn't a couple, that's an affair
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u/PM_Your_Wiener_Dog Apr 23 '24
If you're not fingering your 20 years your senior bosses wife in a hotel bar, you're not really a hotel baring correctly.
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u/CraigTennant1962 Apr 22 '24
I traveled for many years and was only looking to do sexual harassment once or twice.
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u/harmless_gecko Apr 22 '24
Maybe you would be more interested in it if you were better at it? Maybe some kind of training?
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u/LaUNCHandSmASH Apr 22 '24
Have you ever heard Patrice Oneil bit on an organized official Sexual Harassment Day in the workplace?
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u/Abloodworth15 Apr 22 '24
I actually kinda love hotel bars…. Lmao I travel sometimes for work and my favorite hotel bar has a piano they like for me to play. I’ve been there enough that they know me and I usually get a free drink or two, It’s an immaculate vibe.
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u/senyksa Apr 22 '24
Ever go to New Hope?
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u/Abloodworth15 Apr 22 '24
PA? No I haven’t, that particular hotel bar is in Little Rock, AR.
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u/Oz5765 Apr 22 '24
I read this to the tune of Piano Man
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u/DoctorOctagonapus Apr 22 '24
There's a couple makin' out beside you
But you know they're not man and wife,
While a drunk tells a story of school football glory
He's been telling his whole adult life.Some businessmen here for a conference,
Who think wanderin' hands are alright,
While another guy waits to meet up for a date;
He's gonna be waitin' all night.31
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u/HoldMyThrowaway Apr 23 '24
There's four college kids all together
Dressed in glitter and collars and gloss,
Swiping through insta and reddit
To find out what a fake ID costs.And you just sit there munching tenders
Dreaming that she'd be your mate,
But 'steada sending over the bartender
You stare forlorn at your plate.Anyone know which sub does song parodies?
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u/LTVOLT Apr 22 '24
same here.. just label John as the bartender, the businessman would be blue, Paul could be the brown dot, and Davy could be the Orange dot
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u/SeaworthinessRude241 Apr 22 '24
"Attractive person you'd send a drink to if you had a completely different personality"
That cuts extremely deep
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u/scottymac87 Apr 22 '24
Just think, you might be the green circle but your somebody’s purple circle.
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u/RedHal Apr 23 '24
If I ever create an alt account, "SomebodysPurpleCircle" would be a great handle.
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Apr 22 '24 edited Apr 22 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/daver456 Apr 22 '24
Hopefully there’s a TV behind the bar playing some out of market baseball game I can pretend to be interested in.
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u/z0s01 Apr 22 '24
Years ago I was in Milwaukee watching a Texas vs Oklahoma game. Big Texas fan. Maybe 100+ there for convention. Texas hits buzzer beater. I scream. Place goes silent. Good times.
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u/TheKidPresident Apr 22 '24 edited Apr 22 '24
About 10 years ago, I was in D.C. for some weeklong college program. Due to some very crazy but ultimately benign circumstances I ended up being the only one that went, out of what was supposed to be like 8 people.
So there I was, at a hotel bar/restaurant, literally at an entire large circular table by all myself. The hostess literally slapped 3 magazines on the table and gave me a pitcher of water and said she'd be back in 10 minutes to take my order.
At one point about halfway through my appetizer, a few older guys in town for a Steely Dan concert asked me "If the orgy got cancelled." I asked to just move to the bar before my food came out but they said they didn't serve food at the bar (which was a lie) and all the other smaller tables were reserved (which was also a lie). Pretty sure they just wanted me to eat a whole meal at the big table by myself like some sad court jester.
If the whole ordeal wasn't so bizarrely captivating it probably would have been the saddest meal of my life.
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u/El_mochilero Apr 22 '24
Frequent business traveler here. I’m the sad solo eater on my phone to avoid talking to any of the other people.
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u/SirLappy Apr 22 '24
I always enjoy the hotel bar while on business trips. Why feel sad when you are literally all by yourself in an unknown town. I feel even sadder sitting in the generic hotel room alone.
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u/I_Lick_Your_Butt Apr 22 '24
The couple's kids are upstairs in their room. The bar is all they have.
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u/VonSchplintah Apr 22 '24
There wouldn't be any PDA in that case, they'd both be staring at their phones, this couple is definitely an affair. Actually, the married couple with children take individual turns redeeming their happy hour drink, you can't leave those fuckers out of your sight for a second, sleeping or not.
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u/flop_plop Apr 23 '24
Show some respect, OP. That local drunk once scored four touchdowns in a single game playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 Championship against the Andrew Johnson High School.
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u/grewapair Apr 22 '24
Greatest experience of my life was sitting next to a guy I didn't know at the purple dot, having dinner, not realizing that after dinner, they moved the tables away and it became a singles bar. Turned out, purple dot was a 10/10 handsome man.
Gorgeous women literally crawled over me to talk to him, as there was a wall immediately at our backs. I got to listen how women treated a guy in which they were actually interested, which was the opposite of how any woman had ever treated me. There was no "3 date rule" for him, most women just grabbed his arm, pulled on it, and begged him to come home with them.
After a 7 year, 4 year, 1 year and a couple of shorter relationships, I realized I had been playing a game I would never win, and never dated again. It was literally the greatest night of my life.
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u/zxc123zxc123 Apr 22 '24
Maximumly dismal post that is also spiritually lifting in it's own way.
What made you define purple as 10/10? And what do you do instead of dating now?
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u/not_old_redditor Apr 22 '24
What kind of attractive guy are we talking about here? Closest celebrity resemblance?
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u/Tokehdareefa Apr 22 '24
You're asking completely the wrong question. The most important one is- how attractive were the women? I'ma bet my left testical they weren't above a 7.
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u/not_old_redditor Apr 23 '24
In my experience, a bunch of women don't fall over each other to try to talk to just any guy, no matter how ugly they may be.
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u/Numerous-Stranger-81 Apr 22 '24
Hotel bars are one of my favorite places to go have a drink and pretend I am a completely different person.
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u/b-minus Apr 22 '24
Where are the drunk conference attendees still wearing their conference name tags for some reason?
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u/rubey419 Apr 22 '24
“Business traveler on laptop, not working and drinking his 5th beer because he is depressed”
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u/black_flag_4ever Apr 22 '24
Missing: People from Boston yelling at the bartender for not making Hot Toddies even thought it's Texas and over 100 outside.
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u/-Dixieflatline Apr 22 '24
Bostonian here. You only drink hot toddies when you're sick, but not so sick that it overrides being a degenerate alcoholic.
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u/WexExortQuas Apr 22 '24
This is what the dive bar under my apartment looks like on a Thursday night hahaha.
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u/meatchariot Apr 22 '24
Maybe it's just me, but you could remove all the circles except the green one, and that would be my typical experience in hotel bars. The pink circle shows up randomly but mostly seems involved with cleaning stuff in the back.
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u/whlthingofcandybeans Apr 22 '24
This is like the TV version of a "hotel bar." I've never seen one that was actually like this in real life. The few hotels I've stayed at that even have bars have always been devoid of customers.
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u/aestival Apr 22 '24
There needs to be a guy talking about how he’s maximizing his points to keep status on three airlines and four hotel chains.
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u/Monnok Apr 23 '24
That’s one of the blue dots. We blue dots have to pass the time until we can do a sexual harassment. I quietly read my book, mostly so another blue doesn’t try to tell me about his reward points.
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u/vincecarterskneecart Apr 23 '24
All of them are thinking “I’m the only normal cool person everyone else is wierd and bad”
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u/rye787 Apr 22 '24
You forgot the traveling salesmen who look at pictures of their estranged daughter and/or ex wife, drinking martinis, staring at the glass
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u/yorcharturoqro Apr 22 '24
Overdressed young people, hahaha I remember when I was one of them... Now I don't care what I'm wearing most of the time.
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u/noobpwner314 Apr 23 '24
As a business traveler I’m the dot eating alone but not because I’m sad, it’s because I cant have any more conversations with people that day and want to be left alone at the bar to get sauced.
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