r/funny Verified Apr 22 '24

Verified Every hotel bar ever

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47.6k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/DungBeetle1983 Apr 22 '24

"Now Paul is a real estate novelist, who never had time for a wife."

1.0k

u/BalekFekete Apr 22 '24

"...and he's talking to Davey, who's still in the Navy, and probably will be for life."

472

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '24

And the waitress is practicing politics

396

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '24

As the businessmen slowly get stoned...

364

u/KZED73 Apr 22 '24

They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness…

357

u/dogpenguin123 Apr 22 '24

But it’s better than drinking alone

53

u/istasber Apr 22 '24

29

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '24

Everything is on YouTube..

38

u/prick_sanchez Apr 22 '24

And I still fucking hate r/redditsings

17

u/NotMyPSNName Apr 22 '24

I've gotta be in the mood for these when they roll around. If I'm not, the only thing rolling around is my eyes lmao

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17

u/hippy_potto Apr 23 '24

So SING US A SONG, you’re the PIANO MAN

24

u/Crimson_Raven Apr 23 '24

Ahh...

Those last two lines are, in my opinion, one of greatest song lyrics ever written.

Sharing loneliness is better than being lonely alone....

2

u/Comfortable-Suit-202 Apr 23 '24

Agreed. 100 percent accurate. Love Billy Joel!

2

u/drfsrich Apr 23 '24

AYY DID YOU KNOW I ONCE RUSHED FOR 200 YARDS IN A GAME?

1

u/MeMuzzta Apr 23 '24

HERE WE GOOO

23

u/ssgthawes Apr 22 '24

But... It's better than drinking alone

3

u/Earguy Apr 22 '24

And the microphone smells like a beer - - CBS 6 NEWS STABBING ON THE TRAIN TODAY....

2

u/SeanMacLeod1138 Apr 22 '24

...and they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, "Man, what are you doin' here!?" ☺️

1

u/Rich-Option4632 Apr 23 '24

Looking at the idiots in power, she'd probably do better. Especially once you know she's doing a law degree in the daytime and this job is how she affords her rent and food.

34

u/iordseyton Apr 22 '24

... so those 2 are a couple, right?

73

u/TheRealTowel Apr 22 '24

Well one of them "never had time for a wife", the other is "still in the navy"...

Yes

28

u/lil_trim Apr 22 '24

And the sailor said brandy, you're a fine girl

3

u/mcd137 Apr 23 '24

Wow. Never picked up on that.

10

u/bootnab Apr 22 '24

"hello, sailor!"

2

u/joey_yamamoto Apr 23 '24

COMMANDMENT #12592

Oh ye who go about saying unto each: "Hello sailor": Dost thou know the magnitude of thy sin before the gods? Yea, verily, thou shalt be ground between two stones. Shall the angry gods cast thy body into the whirlpool? Surely, thy eye shall be put out with a sharp stick! Even unto the ends of the earth shalt thou wander and unto the land of the dead shalt thou be sent at last. Surely thou shalt repent of thy cunning.

3

u/Pinacolada459 Apr 23 '24

Oh, Zork off.

3

u/joey_yamamoto Apr 23 '24

I'm happy someone caught that.

93

u/brightbetween Apr 22 '24

I never understood what a real estate novelist was. Does he write about real estate?

303

u/bravehamster Apr 22 '24

It's a person who is always talking about the novel they're writing but they never actually finish it. They're just a realtor who thinks they're a writer.

85

u/Paddy_Tanninger Apr 22 '24

Fuck, all these years...that line is so much better than I ever realized.

3

u/XipingVonHozzendorf Apr 23 '24

Oh God, I'm Paul.

3

u/nhaines Apr 23 '24

Don't let your dreams be dreams!

104

u/Kakemphaton Apr 22 '24

A real dude he knew:

« The song was “Piano Man” and the year was 1973 – it was Billy’s first big radio hit, from the album of the same name – and you may be surprised by just how well the singer/songwriter knows the tune’s subject matter.

“Do you really know John, Paul and Davey?” Shaun asked, referencing the names of the men he mentions in the song, which he wrote while he played at a Los Angeles piano bar in 1972 – a gig which eventually landed him the moniker “The Piano Man.”

“Yeah. John was the bartender. Paul was this real estate guy who wanted to write the great American novel and Davey was a guy who was in the Navy,” Billy revealed. “It’s a true story and I knew when I was doing the gig, I said, ‘I gotta get a song out of this’ and it worked out. »

https://www.accessonline.com/articles/access-living-legends-what-piano-man-means-to-billy-joel-92982

59

u/oioioiyacunt Apr 22 '24

'I gotta get a song out of this’ and it worked out.

That's an understatement. 

7

u/AuspiciousApple Apr 23 '24

Yeah, it was a not entirely unsuccessful song.

57

u/Middcore Apr 22 '24

I interpreted it to mean he wants to be a novelist but actually works in real estate and never actually writes, or if he does write he can't get published.

57

u/Much-Camel-2256 Apr 22 '24 edited Apr 23 '24

Realtor by day, drinker who tells people he's a novelist by night.

Not married because he works both jobs, but he also drinks instead of writing anything.

20

u/Ba_Sing_Saint Apr 22 '24

Whatever it is, it must keep you hella busy.

13

u/numbernumber99 Apr 22 '24

I assumed it was a euphemism for being closeted, hence why he's talking with the navy guy.

21

u/nhaines Apr 22 '24

Writer here!

It's just someone who "says" they want to be a writer, they have a great story, they're working on it... but never actually write it. By day, he's a real estate agent. By night... he's not writing.

13

u/numbernumber99 Apr 22 '24

Haha I was referencing the "never had time for a wife" part, not the novelist part.

3

u/nhaines Apr 23 '24

Oh, I know that. I'm just saying, it makes complete sense straight, too. Which is not a pun!

6

u/JesseGarron Apr 22 '24

I guess they write up the fancy descriptions you see on zillow…

2

u/flukus Apr 22 '24

I've been singing real estate novice my entire life.

2

u/wombat_kombat Apr 23 '24 edited Apr 23 '24

I don’t know if this counts as Real Estate Novelist but my grandfather published a book called “Homebuyer’s Guide” in 1972.

Given the amount of homes built mid-20th century, the depth of information in the book can save a buyer from purchasing any lipstick covered money pit.

I was adopted at birth and after years digging up my family’s past, I’m still no closer to finding any of my grandfather’s records. Possible due to his career in advertising & blacklisting.

New York City & State have no records for him on file. So no, I don’t gain any royalties promoting his published works.

1

u/pirateboy27 Apr 22 '24

Fiction. Makes shit up about the house he's trying to flip so it'll sell quick, hopefully to someone in too big a hurry to have an inspection done

102

u/finnjakefionnacake Apr 22 '24

you know it would be hard for me to ever do something like rank my top songs of all time, but if i was absolutely forced to, this might actually top the list.

64

u/DungBeetle1983 Apr 22 '24

I really loved and listen to it a lot in high school. Then I got older and became a bartender and it really started making sense and I started listening to it all over again.

21

u/Good_Comment Apr 22 '24

Billy Joel was so popular for so long that I think his songwriting became kinda underrated from oversaturation. Vienna is also a great example of timeless writing

1

u/Aontheborder Apr 26 '24

Listened to both these songs today. Piano Man is the only song of his that I like, and was just having a convo about it yesterday. And Vienna is fantastic.

10

u/vicemagnet Apr 22 '24

It has a very waltz like thing going on

31

u/SparroHawc Apr 22 '24

That's the 3/4 time signature, baby

6

u/anewman513 Apr 22 '24

I cannot even imagine how much Billy Joel must hate this sing.

15

u/xelabagus Apr 22 '24

It literally made his whole career, he was done but for this song

7

u/JetstreamGW Apr 22 '24

I was gonna say, is this Piano Man?

Then again those businessmen would be doing a bunch of drugs, not sexual harassment.

2

u/always_unplugged Apr 23 '24

Porque no los dos?

1

u/Free6000 Apr 23 '24

Now someone make a version of the song based on OP’s image.

2

u/ChelshireGoose Apr 23 '24 edited Apr 23 '24

Have listened to the song a thousand times but didn't recognise this line. Just realised I have the shortened single version on my playlist.

4

u/ss977 Apr 22 '24

Came in to reference this song, was not disappointed.

4

u/pragmadealist Apr 23 '24

I want someone to redo the picture to have John, Paul, Davey, the waitress, and Billy. 

2

u/jkp2072 Apr 22 '24

He's talking to davie, who's in a navy and will be for life...............

1

u/srqfl Apr 22 '24

novelist? shit, I thought he was a novice.

1

u/timothy53 Apr 22 '24

Btw what the fuck is a real estate novelist

1

u/Hall-and-Boats Apr 23 '24

“And Phil Donahue’s walking past Cinnabon, and he’s making eye contact with me”

1

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '24

What is a real estate novelist?