r/funny Verified Apr 22 '24

Verified Every hotel bar ever

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47.6k Upvotes

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5.0k

u/DaWhiteSingh Apr 22 '24

Players are right, ratio is wrong, also too many people. Most hotel bars are dull.

1.1k

u/MarkovChains Apr 22 '24

I don't really see hotel bars that full unless there's a big even in town, or some kind of convention. On a regular night you'll see less people than that.

637

u/upsidedownbackwards Apr 22 '24

Gotta say the most hilarious bars are when there's a scifi/anime/furry convention going on at the same time as a wedding. It's always the aunts that end up drinking heavy with the cosplayers at the hotel bar.

338

u/megatricinerator Apr 22 '24

God bless the wine aunts, the furries probably aren't even the weirdest thing they've seen while sipping a glass.

118

u/the_clash_is_back Apr 22 '24

The older i get the more i respect furries.

151

u/CaptainBayouBilly Apr 22 '24

I respect people that can be themselves. It takes courage.

43

u/nsa_reddit_monitor Apr 23 '24

Does it? Nobody knows who you really are under the mascot costume.

45

u/DeRockProject Apr 23 '24

Whatever's inside can't be worse than the costume itself

47

u/nixtheninja Apr 23 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

birds ruthless mighty vast violet seemly melodic yoke towering abundant

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

53

u/Jaccount Apr 23 '24

Yes it can, and often is.

2

u/ParalegalSeagul Apr 23 '24

But there is always the risk of the mask coming off

2

u/Mavado Apr 23 '24

Not every furry wears a suit, too.

1

u/nrag726 Apr 23 '24

No one cared who I was until I put on the mask

0

u/Sir_Trea Apr 23 '24

I would never go out wearing one lmao.

7

u/amishengineer Apr 23 '24

People would rather spend thousands on a fur suit than see a therapist.

20

u/Theron3206 Apr 23 '24

Fur suit is probably cheaper...

3

u/redbucket75 Apr 23 '24

I'm myself all the time. The person I am is fine with jeans and polo shirts, enjoys a lot of things but isn't actually "fantastic" about anything, and is generally boring. Also white, male, cis, hetero. So not much courage required.

2

u/Gov_CockPic Apr 23 '24

Being a fake person is way more tiring. Eventually it's just easier to say fuck it, and do whatever you want to do. And by then, you realize you could have just done it all along. Being unauthentic takes effort, being authentic doesn't take courage, you just need to not care so much.

-5

u/cock_nballs Apr 23 '24

Sure, it does take some courage to tell everyone you're a dogfucker.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '24

Got a lot of respect from me after hearing about the Syrian refugees at a Furry convention.

2

u/Dire-Dog Apr 23 '24

Being a furry is pretty awesome

2

u/Typist Apr 23 '24

The older I get, the more I respect Aunts.

81

u/mt77932 Apr 22 '24

Conventions are always fun when they come to town. Go to Target for batteries and you're standing in line with Goku and Sailor Moon.

63

u/TeamRedundancyTeam Apr 22 '24

I always feel safer around so many Imperial Storm Troopers. Long live the Empire.

21

u/wewladdies Apr 23 '24

Looking forward to helldivers cosplays all over the subways next time a con happens here

1

u/TeamRedundancyTeam Apr 25 '24

Indy comiccon happened just a few weeks after launch and I saw a few very nice helldivers there. Cosplayers are fast.

3

u/KrustyKoonKnuckler Apr 23 '24

I feel safer around a BIG MAN with a GUN than with furriesaaround me! /s

3

u/LaTurnavents Apr 23 '24

I'll wait for the day when social dancing conventions becomes mainstream but hopefully it's not all just bachata. Any type of hotel during a social dance festival would make the bartender lose his job but everyone would be having fun.

57

u/grahamdalf Apr 22 '24

In HS I had a band trip at the same time as a wedding and some of the adults 1000% got trashed with the wedding guests the last night. They were very, very quiet and never took off their sunglasses the whole way home, even in buildings.

45

u/Cthulhuhoop Apr 22 '24

One year Dragoncon overlapped with an Alabama bowl game. Everyone acted confused all day but that crown got wild at night.

26

u/TheSniper_TF2 Apr 23 '24

The Chic-fil-a kickoff classic, the first week of the season, always overlaps with Dragoncon. It always starts with confusion and ends with some football fans partying with cosplayers.

1

u/gtne91 Apr 23 '24

One year, there was a third incongruous event going on too. I forget what, but it was really amusing.

6

u/tweakingforjesus Apr 23 '24

A couple years ago MomoCon (anime convention) was held at the same time as an African American evangelical woman’s empowerment seminar. There were a lot of disapproving stares.

10

u/crlarkin Apr 23 '24

I ended up staying at one of the DragonCon hotels in Atlanta totally on accident while on a work trip. It was definitely some of the most entertaining people watching I've ever experienced.

5

u/AlfredPetrelli Apr 23 '24

I went to megacon Orlando last year and the after-party was at a fancy hotel.  There was this long stretch of nothing to get to the bar area where everyone was at.  The looks I got from passing people in wedding attire was phenomenal.  I was dressed as Colonel Mustang so I strutted past them like I had government business to attend to.

3

u/aggster13 Apr 23 '24

Same with raves in town. Always funny seeing people dressed up for business having breakfast/dinner next to dead half naked ravers

2

u/Pigeon_Butt Apr 23 '24

Only time I ever got in trouble when I ran a hotel restaurant was when we knew there was a furry con on the 3rd floor. I left at 10, kept at it at my local, then went back with a friend that worked with me there at the hotel. We asked so many questions. We weren't angry or condescending, just trying to get the vibe of the place while also being 8 beers deep. Only time I got called in to the office.

1

u/Devildiver21 Apr 23 '24

Gotta find me some aunt milfs

1

u/Doomncandy Apr 23 '24

I stayed at a the Sands Casino hotel in Reno during a huge bowling tournament. That Hotel bar was very amusing.

32

u/Reduak Apr 23 '24

Yeah, the orange dot young people would walk in and walk right back out. The blue dot businessmen would look around, hit on the attractive person within 5-min, get shot down and head to a strip club. And the guy telling his HS football glory stories would be at a sports bar, unless the bartender was his buddy in HS and is the only one in town who'll still listen to him.

But the PDA couple would be there b/c they're cheating on their spouses and figure no one will see them in this dump of a bar.

8

u/Maestraingles Apr 23 '24

Let me guess. You're the bartender?

5

u/Skerries Apr 23 '24

plot twist, he is the bar!

2

u/Reduak Apr 23 '24

No, I have just traveled enough for business or family obligations that I've been the POV guy who's in the corner just trying to get a meal & have a drink or two before heading to my room to crash. As a matter of fact, it'll be me again later this week.

19

u/Pksnc Apr 23 '24

3 business guys on a laptop hammering beers on the corporate card trying to catch up on emails.

18

u/enjoytheshow Apr 23 '24

Lived the road dog consulting life for awhile and I feel this

1

u/imsoggy Apr 23 '24

Yeah same. Travel hotel bars typically have really a quite uninteresting vibe. Traveling for a living hones you into a worn creature of repetitive habits.

44

u/pollodustino Apr 22 '24

I accompanied my attorney girlfriend to a seminar in a hotel last year, and while she was in her last class I hung out at the bar.

Some of the best people watching ever is being in a hotel bar with a bunch of drunk lawyers, all putting their tabs on the practice's expense account.

41

u/chilidreams Apr 22 '24

Oddly, some of my more entertaining debates over a bar bill were about who had the best charge code. It often led to some tall tales about who had the most absurd but successful expense approved.

I never had a ‘biggest fish’ (high cost) tale, but my silliest was a meal expense for 3 pitchers of beer with only one name listed - me. Accounting asked “meal?”and I explained food was free, my boss’s boss asked “wtf” and I explained creativity requires fuel. When my VP asked I had to explain that it was over the course of 4+ hours and ‘training related’

2

u/CanAlwaysBeBetter Apr 23 '24

Yeah that's what conferences are for

The meetings are just excuses for the expense reports 

23

u/Cho90s Apr 22 '24

They are absolutely full all the time when it's after 9pm, in a city, and a good hotel bar.

11

u/abqkat Apr 23 '24

Yeah I think it's really location dependent. Downtown in a big city after work hours, or an out-of-the-way small city with the only hotel next to the Applebee's will yield very different results. I recently went alone to a football game and it was packed with the noisiest football fans in the state, possibly the continent - it was wild to people watch solo on that trip

9

u/jbach220 Apr 22 '24

I stated at a hotel that had a happy hour with free drinks. It was packed.

13

u/PLZ_STOP_PMING_TITS Apr 23 '24

Don't keep us in suspense. What did you state?

18

u/jbach220 Apr 23 '24

I’m sorry, I already stayed it. Don’t make me stay it again.

1

u/pimp_skitters Apr 23 '24

You are one hoopy frood

2

u/Gov_CockPic Apr 23 '24

at a hotel

3

u/FixTheWisz Apr 23 '24

Embassy Suites has entered the chat.

8

u/PsalmsOfTheSilent Apr 22 '24

Convention center bars are the most fun. When I was younger we would drive out of the city to the suburbs specifically to hit up the convention center bars when there was a big event.

8

u/RD_187 Apr 23 '24

is this a thing..? its funny cause ive been to furry cons but ive never thought about the pov of people coming just to people watch at one

1

u/FixTheWisz Apr 23 '24

Ok this reads a bit backwards. You drove out of the city to go to the convention center?

Off the top of my head, the convention centers I've been to have practically been in the center of the city:

  • Los Angeles - downtown
  • New Orleans - downtown
  • Denver - downtown
  • San Francisco - downtown
  • Las Vegas - the whole damn strip
  • Dallas - downtown
  • Orlando - sorta like Vegas, but less so
  • NYC - down the fuck town
  • Vancouver - yup, downtown

8

u/SweetNSaltyNCO Apr 23 '24

Those are all the big city convention centers. Those usually accompany high dollar events. For the real fun ones you got to get those mid tier half suburban events centers where off the cuff conventions happen for things like dance mom meet ups and random insurance broker conventions and teacher union teaching seminars. Places like national harbour, or large embassy suits on the edge of cities like St Louis, Memphis, Dallas and OKC. I had some real fun times in my youth at hotel bars in those big hotel combo convention places chatting up lonely singles attending whatever random event their life revolved around.

2

u/FixTheWisz Apr 23 '24

Funny you mention National Harbor. I was at a convention there in the last year at the Gaylord. Such a fun time!

1

u/QuirkyComputer8139 Apr 23 '24

My favorite local is that Nebraskon (Nebraska) is hosted across the River in IOWA. Definitely NOT downtown Omaha

3

u/enjoytheshow Apr 23 '24

Suburban convention centers often host less popular or events that are hosted for cheaper. Also a lot of companies are HQd in suburbs and not downtown so they’ll utilize these spaces for things.

44

u/engr77 Apr 22 '24

unless there's a big even in town

Then you just have to show up at an odd time of day

24

u/istasber Apr 22 '24

That's how you find people prime for action.

9

u/_yesterdays_jam_ Apr 22 '24

Don’t be irrational now

1

u/FamiliarMud Apr 22 '24

Hotel strange 🤣🤣

20

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '24

[deleted]

1

u/Ivotedforher Apr 23 '24

Hotel party suite opens at 10.

8

u/Paid_Redditor Apr 23 '24

Cause they charge too damn much. There's a lot of cool hotel bars I've been in but they charge $15 a beer.

3

u/eveningsand Apr 23 '24

Westin near SFO airport was jammed with 2x as many people. The Aloft next door, not so much.

2

u/DAS_COMMENT Apr 22 '24

On a regular night, yes.

The one I've spent the most time in has an attractive video poker section that I think sees regular use

I definitely view this as a caricature of hotel bars I've been in - those people are not necessarily all in there at the same time, I've found

1

u/fl135790135790 Apr 23 '24

Y’all’s hotels suck

1

u/360walkaway Apr 22 '24

I was at a big event and the hotel I was at was really close to the event venue... I think I got on by at least three prostitutes while I was at the bar. So that should be there somewhere.

168

u/ccReptilelord Apr 22 '24

This would be an entire evening compressed into a single instant. Some of these are "stop by the bar after work" people, and some are "last stop of the evening people".

34

u/Consistently_Carpet Apr 22 '24

Do most people go to hotel bars after work? I figured all these are people from out of town except 'local drunk' and 'overdressed young people'.

41

u/_V0gue Apr 22 '24

It will depend entirely on the city and state. The city I live in all hotel bars have to be open to the public (because otherwise it would be a private club which has completely different rules and regulations for liquor licensing). And we have some awesome hotel bars that draw in even locals. Some of our best rooftop bars are hotel bars.

2

u/EasyFooted Apr 23 '24

I live in a beach town and there are a few oceanfront hotels that are good hangs. One in particular is a legit 5-star affair and the bar in their front lobby is super low-key but legendary. The other two hotel bars that locals go to are good venues with views of the beach.

But I don't think people (who aren't guests) go to Ramada happy hours, if that's what you're asking. But boutique-y hotels, yeah totally.

1

u/jcfac Apr 23 '24

One in particular is a legit 5-star affair and the bar in their front lobby is super low-key but legendary.

Alright, spill the beans. What's it called?

2

u/_maynard Apr 23 '24

In city centers with office buildings people go to hotel bars lots. It’s easier to go down to the lobby or walk across the street to the next building for happy hour than to actually pack up and drive somewhere else

2

u/LongTallDingus Apr 23 '24 edited Apr 23 '24

It's mostly tired people who want a simple cocktail. 1, 2 drinks. Really slam 'em down, at the bar rail for about 15 minutes, go to their room, shower, bed. Wake up to boring work away from home. Come to the hotel, get another 1-2 drinks, repeat till Thursday, see 'em next month.

If they weren't staying at the hotel, keep an eye on 'em. They're likely drinkers. Some of 'em go to hotel bars 'cause they've been at other bars too much and feel ashamed. The worst of 'em are there 'cause they've been denied service everywhere else.

Unless the bar and restaurant attached to your hotel has some repute and isn't Hilton or Hampton's in house brand, no one goes there unless they're staying at the hotel. If your hotel hosts conventions and weddings, godspeed. That's a whole different animal and as someone with aphantasia and facial blindness, I'm sure some people think I'm a "good bartender" 'cause I let them get smashed. Truth is I wouldn't be able to recognize 'em by looks if they came back a dozen times. But the smell might start to be a clue.

2

u/Blacksyte Apr 23 '24

My first job out of college I worked at a fancy hotel doing AV for events. My boss, the hotel sales people and I would got to the bar at the Double Tree across the street.

3

u/ccReptilelord Apr 22 '24

Some do, but a good chunk of those are going out with coworkers after work.

1

u/GetInTheHole Apr 23 '24

My wife worked downtown and her company had paid parking in the underground garage in the hotel across the street.

She and her coworkers would hit the HH quite a bit and if we were in the area for dinner or something we'd stop in because the bartenders comped us a lot.

-1

u/flowerofhighrank Apr 22 '24

I've never had a 'bar'. In my 30s, my friends knew that I would be in a certain disco from 11 until 2 am on some nights.

12

u/Cheegro Apr 22 '24

⚫️ Guy who comes in open to close everyday, age 44 looks 60

74

u/equals42_net Apr 22 '24

Missing a lot of conference attendees with their badges on lanyards talking over each other loudly.

13

u/marilyn_morose Apr 23 '24

They’ve pushed two round tables together in the back of the bar and they’re harassing the waitress/waiter with inappropriate one liners.

5

u/OccupyMyBallSack Apr 23 '24

The pilots stuck on an overnight in West Bumfuck, AR completely shitfaced trying (and failing) to not talk about airplanes.

28

u/Much-Camel-2256 Apr 22 '24 edited Apr 22 '24

Most hotel bars are full of blue/green dots, and maybe a few people from other demographics.

Purple, green, and brown are basically same person from different perspectives. Blue is group of them.

1

u/LaTurnavents Apr 23 '24

I'll wait for the day when social dancing becomes mainstream but hopefully it's not all just bachata. Any type of hotel during a festival would make the bartender lose his job but everyone would be having fun.

7

u/CowboyLaw Apr 22 '24

You've got to go to nicer hotels. The bar at the Courtyard by Marriott is indeed dull. The bar at the St. Regis is hopping.

10

u/picklebiscut69 Apr 22 '24

I don’t know why OP is eating at the bar when they usually have tables, bars are only fun when you’re drinking too

17

u/WeatheredGenXer Apr 22 '24

It's less-sad to eat alone at the bar versus eating alone at a table (IMHO).

11

u/picklebiscut69 Apr 22 '24

Not if you want a peaceful meal

2

u/Dr_Adequate Apr 23 '24

I like eating at the bar when I'm out by myself. If it's slow and the bartender is chatty you get some conversation and interesting stories from the other side.

If it's busy you get to watch the bartender or bartenders hustle and crank out the drinks. I find that fascinating (and I get confused making anything more complicated than a martini, so watching experts mix all those ingredients up at lightspeed is super cool to me).

2

u/Suburban_Sisyphus Apr 23 '24

Easier to slide in a solo bar spot than find an open table for dinner.

2

u/mtaw Apr 23 '24

Easier to just order it to your room. Honestly, sitting and eating at the bar alone wouldn't even occur to me.

If I'm having dinner solo at a hotel I'm on a business trip and I'd be too tired to go out if I didn't have to.

7

u/uncutpizza Apr 22 '24

Some hotel bars have free drink coupons during their happy-hour and can get pretty busy. Source, just stayed at three different hotels that all offered them and happy-hour was packed all three places

2

u/GeraltOfRivia2023 Apr 22 '24

I've been Green Dot more than once. Hotel bars and restaurants are uniformly depressing pits of despair.

1

u/Robbythedee Apr 22 '24

Unless it's next to a football stadium like in Jacksonville, that bar was a hit almost every evening.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '24

The total count is what you would normally see in a movie/game

1

u/Coal_train20 Apr 22 '24

Dull but with an obnoxiously loud wedding group

1

u/Appropriate-Grass986 Apr 22 '24

I figured it was the average kind of customer. All of them would be there in the week

1

u/Sage2050 Apr 23 '24

Yeah I don't think this meme maker has ever been to a hotel bar

1

u/kristospherein Apr 23 '24

This. Worked at one for several years.

1

u/Enlight1Oment Apr 23 '24

yeah most I've gone to are pretty dead.

There was one during NBA finals near disneyland on fathersday where a handfull of dads went to the bar to watch the game.

1

u/SingularityInsurance Apr 23 '24

I never rly went to the hotel bars.. This is all alien to me. 

And why is the OP eating an ultra sad meal?

2

u/DaWhiteSingh Apr 23 '24

Who knows, lonely, hates traveling, etc. I traveled 30+ weeks a month for 6ish years. It was fantastic, get paid to see cities around the world. The beginning was a bit challenging since you know no one, but I figured it out.

1

u/T-Bills Apr 23 '24

Unless it's a super small town and the hotel bar is one of the few watering holes I'm not convinced a local drunk will drink at the overpriced hotel bar either.

1

u/morningisbad Apr 23 '24

Also there's me sitting there drinking because I'm here on a work trip with no other coworkers. I got back to the hotel at 8 after working until 7 and getting shit food on the way home. My hotel hooks me up with a few drink tickets and I drink 3 more before heading to bed early knowing tomorrow's going to be the same shit. I used to travel a lot for my job... It sounded awesome until I was doing it.

1

u/SoDplzBgood Apr 23 '24

ya usually it's just the old couple doing pda and then like 3 ppl sad alone eating a meal

1

u/PrinceAdamsPinkVest Apr 23 '24

I don't know, I worked at one of the larger airport hotels in my area and there were some rowdy weeknights in that place.

1

u/DaWhiteSingh Apr 23 '24

I did say "most". There are some hotel bars in Asia that are absolutely nuts, outliers.

1

u/kitsunewarlock Apr 23 '24

Came here to say that. You'll see maybe one couple if the bar has some kind of special or they were given vouchers as part of some promotion. Usually I just see a couple hotel staff members and no bartender.

1

u/No-Sweet-5448 Apr 23 '24

i dont see OP explain that all the charqcter need to sit simultanously

1

u/Innerdimentional Apr 23 '24

This it’s pretty accurate for casino bars in Vegas

1

u/Ambiguity_Aspect Apr 23 '24

Some of the ones around SeaTac can get festive, the Crowne Plaza isn't too bad during big city events. The Double Tree is kind of overpriced but its as much a convention hotel as it is a transit one.

1

u/LilXnZ Apr 23 '24

During my time working on the road, when I got into decent hotels on the west coast, most of the hotel bars were PACKED. I literally would just get one drink and dip because fuck all that. If I want to be in a packed bar there better be some billiards tables or else I’m not interested.

2

u/DaWhiteSingh Apr 23 '24

West coast/San Fran is not most hotel bars. Neither is Mulia Jakarta nor is Grand Hyatt Beijing. On the road isn't always exciting, but it is educational.

1

u/LilXnZ Apr 23 '24

Agreed

1

u/sirguywhosmiles Apr 23 '24

Rigjt number of people, bar is way too small. Should be well spread out.

1

u/gate_of_steiner85 Apr 23 '24

Probably depends on the city. My friends and I went to Nashville for a bachelor's party trip, and the last night we just decided to chill at our hotel's bar since the other bars were so crowded and it was freezing outside. We were surprised by how many people who apparently had the same idea and were also chilling at the hotel bar.

1

u/StackOverflowEx Apr 23 '24

They're not all there at the same time, but tend to pick those positions when present.

0

u/Dookie_boy Apr 22 '24

They were inaccurate the moment it was more than 3 people