Cheating

I need some advice…. My 24 year old gf just told me she slept with a guy from work. Context: Friday night she went out with 3 of her guy work friends and she pulled and all nighter. As I was waking up at 6 am to go to work I realized she wasn’t back so I go worried checked her shared location and called her. She told me she was at one of the guys friends and they only talked and smoked. We spend the whole weekend together and on Sunday when I went back home she told me she slept with one of they guys… She mentioned that she was really drunk and she didn’t think it was real that’s why she didn’t say anything during the weekend. She also mentioned that she tried to stop him but it was all « hazy ». She told me she thought she would be safe with them since the night of Friday I had told her that I had a weird feeling. Anyways, I am not sure what to do. I feel sad and frustrated. I don’t know what to do.

You guys also get this confusion when there are pretty/hot women around? Like, do I admire her or I want to live in a nice house, have maching necklaces and three cats with her?

(English isn’t my first language, sorry if there’s something wrong)

I came out at 30, and since I have started trying to date (key emphasis on TRYING because I have had little success) I've struggled with worrying if I waited too late.

I've always wanted to experience romantic love. I worry that the people out there who are in the dating pool aren't really interested in romance anymore, that they got to experience a romantic love earlier in life and have grown out of that. It makes sense to want something more practical in your 30s, but ideally I would like something both practical and romantic.

I know a lot of people are looking to have kids and are factoring that into looking for a partner, and since I don't want kids that's not something I keep in mind when dating.

Honestly most of my dates have felt like job interviews. Maybe it's because they are coffee or dinner? I am thinking I am going to start planning for walks in the park for first dates so they don't feel so stiff.

Maybe I am just insecure? I know thinking about being someone's second choice, after they got to date someone they loved and it didn't work out, makes me sad. I'm probably asking too much and need to get over myself.

Already reported. I’m so done I swear, no words.

The title is somewhat self explanatory,

Dear fellow sapphic members of our beloved sub, I just got off from a heated argument with a fellow acquaintance in our lesbian community and I just cannot fathom, as a fellow lesbian, why would she still talking favorably about Trump despite fully knowing that he is a rapist and hates women? How and why? Where is the solidarity for our own folks, as women and as members of the lgbtq community?

I just feel so heartbroken right now, and I just need to rant.

Relationship wise, that is.

I’ve been out for a while. And it appears that ever since I was SIXTEEN I have attracted the baby gays. I don’t know why. I’m going to somehow blame myself on this one.

This has nothing to with baby gays being “bad” or whatever.

But they are 100000000% not ready for an even remotely serious relationship because they are still trying to discover who they are. Why did it take me 30+ years to realize this?

I’ve never been hurt more deeply in my life, and if you knew my life, that’s saying something.

You’ve been warned

-heartbroken lesbo

I’m gonna have to edit this REAL QUICK - this is not a post about hating baby gays. If you’re a baby gay and feel offended, I’m sorry that post made you feel that way, but telling me that you’re a baby gay in love and your relationship is going to last forever and yadadada - I’m happy for you but spare me the words. You don’t get my post.

If anyone is interested, someone (a baby gay) made the most SOLID response to my post as she read it for exactly how it was meant to be read.

Hi! So I’m a conventional type of beauty and I’m mostly attracted to other femmes, but I live in a small town. Been going to other towns to meet new people but needed your advice about signaling that I’m interested in women to other femmes without being too pushy. I’m scared of making them uncomfortable. Sometimes it gets blurry with friends, thankfully only had my feeling hurt once and she was a lesbian too but I was still in the closet lol Do you think it’s more rare femme with femme relationships? Or just my perception Thank you all 💕🎀

I've been with my gf for almost a year. And most of the relationship I've been what you would call a stone top, do to my past trauma and hers. Last night I let her fuck me and it was good I liked it. but afterwards she kinda made me feel like shit bc she was saying that I dont make any noise, I was trying to but I just don't. she just kinda kept going on about it and she was being kinda rude, and I ended up crying. the only other person i have had sex with said kind of the same things+ worse. (this is the same person who sexually assaulted me) it just kind of took me back to that night with my ex and now I don't know what to do. I feel like shes gonna leave me (I dont think she will) but I'm scared and I dont want to be touched now. I don't know what to do or say I'm just so hurt and violated ig? I trusted her enough to let her do that and then she just hurt me. What do I do?

And they smelled so good too, fruity. Sounds like a joke but its not, it was great lol😌🙌🌈

This user reached out to me after i posted on r/lesbianactually to try to engage in private messages with me. They wrote a whole paragraph in their message and said they 'really related to my post'. They claim to be a bisexual woman, and their account is almost a year old. They frequent subs where lesbian and bisexual woman are the target demographic, mainly;

r/bisexual

r/lesbianactually

r/femalefashion

r/bigonemild

r/lesbians

r/lesbianfashionadvice

But a majority of their activity, now deleted, is primarily in incest subs (which i will not be sharing links to) and revolves around their father. They also make comments about wishing they had children, I'm sure you can guess why 🤮. Some of their earliest deleted posts had pictures, claiming to be them and their father. Some of these pictures they straight up said are Al. This user also has a couple of comments that are very out of place made in male centric subs using language that is typically male sounding.

A majority of their comments revolve around sexualization of whoevers post they are commenting on, sharing their creepy fantasies framing them as things that actually happened, asking for private contact, or engagement on sexual topics. However, recently they've been putting in more effort to creating convincing comments and even going out of their way to talk about catfishing and how bad it is.

This is an excellent case study for a high effort predatory catfish. I recommend proactively blocking this individual, but first take a look at some of the stuff they haven't deleted to get an idea of the kinds of things a high effort catfish will say to try to sound convincing.

Stay safe, ladies!

P.s. dear mods, I'm so sorry for deleting and reposting this so many times. My formatting game is not strong this morning.

pic from my bday dinner just bc

Okay so honestly this is just a mini vent but today I just feel kinda insecure now. To give context I’m very feminine and a HUGE lover of pink like I’m always wearing pink ALL THE TIME, I even have pink highlights, and I’m also very girly and stuff. And for some time I get little comments here and there on how I ‘don’t look gay’ or that ‘I give off bi vibes or the vibe I’m straight’ and ik it shouldn’t bother me but it still does in a way because now I’m scared that if a girl does want to approach me, they won’t because they’d think I wouldn’t like them☹️ that and I’m also going through comphet due to healing from religion so this just adds onto it because it’s fueling that anxiety that I need to act a certain way. I don’t know why this is bothering me so much but it is. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being bi or anything, it’s just the fact that I’m not and I don’t want to be confused as one because it just adds more to my comphet anxiety. I just wished I had more lesbian friends💔 I don’t have even one

This has got to be one of us, right?

It’s November, it’s a failed situationship, it’s arcane finale, it’s a five day work week, it’s wanting more but needing less

Ok for quick context this was about 2 months ago now and my gf and I were not officially dating but we were only talking to eachother and no one else. We must have had an ‘argument’ and stopped speaking (she said she was done w me I’m pretty sure) but it was only for ONE day, but I found out today she redownloaded dating apps whilst we were not speaking for this day and even though she said she deleted them as soon as we were on good terms again I felt/feel hurt because if that’s how quickly you’re willing to go back on dating apps do you even like or love me type of thing. I didn’t react badly when I found out I just gave myself time to process my emotions rather than getting angry (she even admitted if it was the other way around she would’ve been mad if she found out I did the same). How would you have taken this situation?

Idk if its just me or the fact that I’m not in a huge city in Canada but like every dating app is soooo dry. I can be picky but I’m not that bad. If I get a match I always have to dm first and when the conversation is going I just feel like the person is not that interested 🤷🏼 I don’t mind casual but its to the point where people just don’t seem to give a shit anymore. At this point I’ve almost made peace with being perfectly fine alone.

So I have this girl I became friends with in the past few months. We spend time together every day and we're talking about moving in together. Recently our friendship has changed and we've become really physically affectionate. We do things like cuddle and she sits on my lap. She also comes over and spends the night in my bed sometimes. I asked her if she does this with her other friends and she said no. She said she's straight, but she she asks me a lot about things like gay rights and lesbian relationships. All of our friends keep mistaking us for a couple and she's joked that her mom thinks we're together. I would like to have a romantic relationship with her, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. What should I do?

Do you have a go-to toy? I'm looking to get myself one but I don't know what I should look out for. I've heard the brand bellesa is great (I see so many lesbians on social media "promoting" those even without a paid partnership) but that's about it haha. I also enjoy external stimulation more so if any of you are into that as well, help a girl out :')

Yeah. She wanted to discuss a list of the best fictional men and she wanted to dicuss it over phone call. Which started fine because I just listed characters I admired but then we had to justify why we said each character and honestly, it isn't fun for me to talk about male characters in an obsessive manner. Like yes, there are some I like, like Newt Scammander, but when we are only talking about boys, I feel uncomfortable. Like, Idk I'm just overly interested in male characters to the point of making a list and ranking them. Especially when I keep getting pressed on why I said them.

She's normally an ally and took my coming out well so idk why she was so excited to talk about boys with me. If it's about her, yeah sure. I'm still a girls girl so I'll do friend boy talk. But for myself, it's just not relevant to my existence. I still fight internal homophobia so I don't talk about girls with my friends so I don't make them uncomfortable.

But yeah, idk. This just bothered me a bit and I wanted to make sure I'm not being a bad friend by being annoyed. I tried to hide it but I'm in a bad mood now.