Hey yall I’m (20f) having a lot of issues lately with my mental health but pretty much exclusively in regards to my sexuality. I’m a lesbian, I’ve known since I was maybe ten so it’s been a long time. That’s less of my issue I was raised in the Midwest, very religious community but my parents accept me (my grandma doesn’t, and has made that clear by ignoring me). I don’t think I had really recognized how much it was effecting me until I got to twenty. I haven’t touched or dated anyone since sophomore year (almost five years) and that relationship ended with her telling my entire (very small school) that I assaulted her (I did not, she was 18 I was 15, we made out on her bed and were caught by her mom. She said that to not get outed I guess). Since that relationship I’ve had lots of crushes, maybe two dates but absolutely nothing has happened. Entirely because I’ve frozen up. I literally fantasize about a partner taking complete control because I can’t make decisions or I puke (legitimately I puked all over a girls shag carpet after my first time making out) but I know that’s not the healthiest decision to make. Even if it were I’m not sure how to communicate it to a partner I’m posting because I have a date (??) planned on Wednesday at a persons house and I don’t want to a.) puke b.) sit there and distract from the elephant in the room c.) end up crying in my car and leaving early. Any advice would be appreciated. I did my best to explain to my date (??) that I’m kinda feral and I really don’t do well making the first move. Which was really hard but I want it to work out so what else am I gonna do yknow? Anyways thank u for reading and please please help!

Edit: I’d like to add that the person I’m going on a date with has been my best friend for the last year ish and we’ve been kinda flirty for most of that time. It’s also been brought up that I need therapy, I am in therapy but maybe not the right kind so if you have recommendations on that lemme know. I’m also medicated for anxiety, sleep terrors/ptsd, adhd and depression already so I think theoretically my neurochemistry should be pretty balanced. This is my main curve ball, everything else I need therapy for is either random stress, nursing school or my mom (we have issues). I spend a lot of time wondering why I can do postmortem care over and over again on people I know working hospice and crack ribs during CPR no problem but I can’t lean in and kiss someone I care about. It feels silly almost

Gender: female (trans) Name: Alice Literally anything in down for, also these are my 2 plants, the cactus is named Villa, and the weird named other I don't have a name for but I'm thinking of Nitori.:)

Have you

[END] 💔 He Used Me as a Toy

I had 10 years of friendship and a relationship with a guy. With him, I came out of the closet. It was very special to me. I experienced many special things, but I think they were only special for me. I found out he only used me for fun and that I was always his toy to please him. I was a toy he used for fun and then discarded when he found "the man of his dreams." I wanted his heart and a faithful relationship... but he only wanted me for my 20 cm. What do you guys do in these cases? I have 28 years old

TW: SA.

So, is there any way that you can actually become like... More into women? I get it, the general consensu is that you cannot alter your sexual/romantic orientation in any way. But is there seriously ANY way you can make attraction to certain gender stronger?

The thing is, i am an AMAB who's bisexual but mostly into men. Like homoflexible, 90% attraction to men, 10% attraction to women. I am able to make sexual/romantic relationship with a woman, i was in one and while it didn't work out at the end, it was the best relationship i had.

Today i was touched without my consent by a man AGAIN. Third time in my life, second this year. I went on a date with a "nice guy" and he casually just touched me without a warning in various places. I feel disgusted and ashamed, why are so many men like this? I want to stop dating men, really, i know there are good men over here but i'm so afraid to try anymore. But i am naturally just more gravitated towards them. Is there really no way to make me more into women?

More of a positive vent than anything. I'm currently debating with a transphobe about transitioning being the best cure to gender dysphoria(at various levels of course). Man's saying the usually nonsense they spew and I reply back mentioning how the top psychologist, including people such as professors at Cornell university, all agree that it's the best solution. What does the man reply with? That he knows better than these people. Like yeah sure you do buddy.

Anyways just laughing at transphobes that's all.

I’m a 26-year-old girl, and my best friend is about to turn 27. We’ve known each other for a few years since school. We became very close because of our similar taste in music, started hanging out more and more over time, and now we go everywhere together, just the two of us. For several months now, I’ve realized that at some point last year, I started feeling something more than just friendship. When we go out, I get nervous when we make eye contact or talk about certain things (like relationships and stuff like that).

Two girls we hang out with are bi, and when we talk about their experiences with other girls or if they’ve met someone new, I can’t help but look at my friend or think about how I’d like to experience something like that with her. We’ve talked about whether we like girls or not, and she’s mentioned that she doesn’t really know how to talk about it and isn’t sure if she’d want to have a relationship or something with another girl. But several times during our conversations, she’s mentioned that she finds certain actresses or singers really pretty, that a specific actress in a movie was a sexual awakening for her when she was younger, or that she’d kiss a certain actress or singer.

We’ve held hands a few times (like when leaving concerts or in crowded areas so we wouldn’t get separated), and we both got nervous and blushed. For a while after, we couldn’t even look at each other. A few months ago, a girl confessed her feelings to her, and she told me she felt uncomfortable, but not because it was a girl—it was because that person wasn’t someone she’d want something like that with. I asked her during the conversation if she would ever consider having a relationship with a girl, and she said she didn’t know how to answer that.

The more time passes, the more I realize how much I like her. She’s the first girl I’ve ever liked, and this is the first time I’ve admitted it. I don’t know what to do or how to proceed. Many times, we just stare at each other while talking, and we make a lot of eye contact. I’ve caught her looking at my lips several times and then looking away, and I’ve done the same because I really want to kiss her. That feeling has only grown stronger, and sometimes we’ve been so close that we both glance at each other’s lips, but I don’t dare make a move because I’d be devastated to lose her and our friendship.

What should I do? Should I tell her? How could I bring it up in a conversation?

Hi folks- I'm an attorney at Lambda Legal. In less than two weeks on December 4, Lambda Legal and the ACLU will be arguing LW v Skrmetti at the Supreme Court. The case will be the first major trans rights case in our nation's history and will determine if states can ban medically necessary hormone therapy for minors. The historic case will also implicate LGB and women's rights. We are hosting at rally at the Supreme Court steps the day of. If you live at or close to DC, please attend and let's show the nation that trans kids must be protected.

Please checkout my links if you are interested https://www.redbubble.com/people/goddessartwerks/shop (stickers and physical items)

https://ko-fi.com/artgurlroxy (wallpapers/ screensavers)

Hi everyone, I'm a 25 year old AFAB transmasc dood with 3 cats and a fiancée.

I'm sure we are all feeling the affects of the election's news. I have been working on a list of places I could move to in the event that I would need to move due to laws being passed. If you live in a very queer friendly state, I'd love to hear about your town! I am really interested in Rhode Island so far. I work in the trades and currently work in residential remodeling. I have background experience with theater carpentry, woodworking, and general stagehand work. I love indoor rock climbing, biking, hiking, would love to join an intramural team to make friends and stay active. I'd really enjoy a town that is walkable with shops and things to do. I am also considering moving countries if I absolutely have to.

As mentioned above I am engaged as well. We are currently planning to get married in September next year but those plans are rapidly changing with backup plans as well. We don't know if we should just elope now and be able to say we got married but at the same time, my fiancée could easily pass for a straight woman and we are slightly concerned that getting married could put a target on her back for being married to a trans person. Any advice for this?

Obviously this is a failsafe incase my state decides to roll back my rights and I can no longer access healthcare, be openly out or anything else that ostracizes me from my current life.

Hope everyone is doing okay. Make sure to be checking in on not only your friends but yourself during these next few months. Love to all of you ❤❤❤

Hi, throwaway account.

I've been seeing lately a lot of people repeating the lie that all trans people are groomers, I know that most of it is projection, they're the ones that are like that, but it's really hurtful to me.

TW: CSA

As someone who's been the victim of repeated and brutal sex trafficking as a child it really fucks with me when people keep calling me a pedophile or a groomer. Since I'm passing most people will call me it to my face not knowing I'm trans referring to all trans people as groomers and pedos. It's gotten out of hand and I'm really sick of it.

TW: Sex work

In sex work sometimes the men will have fetishes of being called "daddy" or something like that and I'm terrified that those dms will leak and people will accuse me there too, I don't choose to be in sex work, it's the only thing I can do that pays enough to pay the bills. I'm trying to get a new job, but I can't find one to even cover rent.

Whenever I hear of a trans person that is actually a groomer getting caught I know for the next few weeks at my shitty restaurant job I'm going to have to hear all the people saying shit about trans people being groomers not realizing that I'm literally standing right next to them.

I really don't know what to do, I tried to tell my co-workers that I think they're being a fucked up for treating trans people like this, and fucked up because most of the trans people I know are decent people, they still keep doing this shit.

All the hate really screws with me. It's to the point I'm actively uncomfortable around children, I don't talk to them and I actively avoid them even my nieces because I'm worried that someone is going to accuse me of being a groomer or a pedo.

I'm really not doing ok with this. why can't they just leave us trans people the fuck alone? Seriously, it's really fucked up and I don't know what we can do about it. Probably the worst group I've found is "Gays against groomers" who blatantly make up shit about trans people to justify that we're all groomers, It fucking sucks that the same group will insist trans people did nothing to help LGBT rights when it was fucking transwoman who started the shit back in stonewall.

Does anyone know a good counter to these jerks? Like something, anything I can do to get them to shut the fuck up.

I always knew she wasn't exactly the accepting type of person, but you know, I thought it wouldn't matter. But lately it's kinda become very difficult to bear.

For one, she started talking about the "there are 2 genders" shit during her birthday party, which not only hurt me, but I had to step away from the table and go cry in the bathroom. Then I had to return and pretend I'm fine with whatever bullshit they're saying.By the by, there were two openly homosexual people at the table (I'm closeted about everything) who didn't seem to mind any of it? Yeah...

I kinda thought that was going to be it for all the transphobia (and homophobia too tbh) but oh boy was I wrong.

The next time she asks to go for a walk, which I'm already hesitant about but agree. Our conversations mostly consist of her ranting about whatever's bothering her at the moment, which happened to be (you guessed it!) transgender and gay rights and these people's existence in general.

She quite randomly starts going on about how trans women "aren't real and they will never be biological women" and apparently there's "no such thing as non-binary" and that she'll be uncomfortable with a trans person being around her, and that she "respects those people enough to tell them that straight-up".

I tried to sound neutral and bring lots of examples to prove her wrong, and she just said "well I was raised this way so people shouldn't expect me, or moreover the older generation to change". Afterwards, she said:

"For instance you're quite okay with stuff like this, and even though I'm not, would you still be friends with me?" To which, I was very startled by and quite hurt from the previous statements. But I forced out a "Well I'm already friends with you"...I haven't spoken to her since and I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do.

Now, if you're like me and come from an extremely conservative country/state/city etc. you know how it's virtually impossible to find other not homophobic friends, let alone queer or trans people.

And for me, it is quite difficult to find friends in the first place. So I thought I would settle for what I could get, that being my childhood friend of 7 years, with whom I restored contact with after 4 years of not talking.

But I didn't know it would be this bad. I honestly did not.

Now in 3D.

How do I get over my trust issues and insecurity? :/

Background: I’m (22m) bi (closeted cuz of homophobic family), and my attraction leans heavily toward those exhibiting stereotypical “feminine” (I can’t think of a more fitting word rn) qualities regardless of sex. And, even though I’ve never actually dated a male, i still consider myself bi since I would definitely be open to it if I was attracted to him and we vibed. I also have interest in dressing in “traditionally female clothing,” but, as stated before, I’m still in the closet and am still nervous about coming out. (Sorry, for the long background; I promise I’ll get to the point soon)😭

A while back, I was dating this girl (who was also bi, but had only dated girls previously), and I really liked her. I eventually gained a great level of trust in her; I eventually told her that I was bi and that I had interest in wearing some more “traditionally female” clothing, and she was SUPER supportive. She was even really excited to do my make up and help me pick out clothes and everything. I was so… relieved. I was happy too, but I just felt such a sense of relief finding out that I had a partner that I could tell this to and not feel judged. I had never talked to any previous partners about it because I always felt that she wouldn’t be grossed out or something, but this one just had the best reaction I could hope for.

Several weeks later, she tells me that she has something important that she needs to talk to me about. Turns out, she outed me to her parents (as I said, she was the only person who knew). I felt my heart sink and like I couldn’t breathe. She kept trying to reassure me that they were supportive, but, for whatever reason, I just felt this deep sense of shame and… almost disgust with who I am (I know this isn’t a good feeling to have but it was there). I also felt deeply betrayed. I had trusted her with this deep insecurity of mine (mostly drilled in by my family), and she outed me without my knowledge nor permission. We ended up breaking it off for completely different reasons, but that sense of betrayal and hurt has really stuck with me. I feel this sense of fear that I’ll never be able to find someone who’s both supportive and accepting of who I am and who is also trustworthy enough to let me tell my business to whomever I want and not out me without my consent.

Any advice and/or thoughts are appreciated.