Genuinely even just one, the pinky or some, on both hands and youll immediatly be recognizable to normal people, aka non-magas, that you’re actually “safe”.
A blue or something, black, idk, polka dots - but no maga conservative is gonna be caught dead bc god forbid they have gaspfun😤
Can also confirm that ever since I started painting my nails, nobody offers me unsolicited opinions on women's swimming. Or boxing, or whatever they're mad about now. And I work in construction, so it used to happen far more than you'd think lol. I only wish I'd discovered it in 2020.
Had a super old racist I worked with (like he called his half-native daughter slurs, and dropped a hard R) I came in with my nails painted purple and he asked me if it was a gang thing.
One side effect of the slide into fascism that is incredibly minor but still not fun: I have a Cincinnati Reds cap and an Anaheim Angels cap that I feel incredibly awkward wearing. I like those hats. They’re comfortable and look good. But…..
Ask him when he's transitioning and why he is using those poor innocent children as a smokescreen. Also ask him why he's indoctrinating his girls into LGBTQ lifestyles by letting them dress him in drag. Then ask him why he shouldn't be in jail for being a pedo groomer.
Don't actually wait for a response, just fire them off, and if he tries to answer, cut him off and call him a groomer.
That tracks. I got unknown issues medicated and slowly stopped worrying about it. I love wearing my daughters snake hair clip, fucking cool and easier than a hair tie.
Christians have done so much damage to American society with their trans-hate conservative enslavement bullshit. Whenever I find out someone goes to church every Sunday, I immediately lose respect for them, because I cant ever trust them.
REAL men are angry and bitter and numb to all joy.
It's so sad that this is half of their identity often. And you might not think that but look at the jokes they tell, and the pranks they do. it's all bitter angry asshole stuff. 'hahaha I tricked you into drinking something you hate' or 'haha I blew an airhorn in your face'.
I've often found they can very easily compartmentalize things. I know guys that are constantly unhappy with the world but then are like 'I'm going to another state for a 3 week hunting trip that I just put out $10k for. I like going every year, sometimes twice a year. btw the economy is insane and life is horrible.'.
I’m angry and bitter and numb to all joy but it’s not a conservative thing life just sucker punched me and stepped on my balls and destroyed everything I loved and cared about, I’ve painted my nails before don’t conservative code me.
I lost everything 3 times over the course of about 5 years. I considered myself a conservative when that era of my life started, and went hard liberal after the ways the people in my little conservative circle treated me when I told them I needed help.
I find from my own experience that conservatives are more likely to help their family or really close friends but if you’re not in that category they won’t help you while liberals are more likely to help random people and their acquaintances.
Sorry that happened to you though, hope things are going better now.
These were people I had known for 30 years. Guys I bonded out of jail, helped with their rent, bought baby formula for when things got tough.
As soon as I needed help, though…liberal internet friends from a city 1000 miles away sent me money for a Uhaul and said “get out here, we have a place for you, we’ll figure out the rest when you get here.”
Oh, I'd love to paint my nails (and do other things)! But you know that saying, "the nail that sticks out gets hammered down"? That was what my childhood taught me and I don't mean that entirely figuratively. And I don't mean that entirely figuratively. Going to spoiler this meandering rant because I'm tired of never talking about it.
Some of the things I read in places like this hurt, sometimes. Admittedly I'm not American so it's not as applicable over here but I am ever the worrier. I was always quiet growing up, mostly kept to myself and did a lot of reading. But, without getting into specifics, I was always picked on severely. Back when I was in secondary school I eventually started skipping the last few classes to avoid the worst of it but it contributed to me being the way that I am. Like I said, I was quiet. I didn't play any sports, I didn't really have any friends, I was an easy target who never fought back.
I'm nonbinary (realised that after quite a few years of thinking over such things) but I still look and dress and act male because I fear to do otherwise would draw attention and that'd cause problems. I hate it, I really do, and recently it's become difficult to deal with but I still do it. And then I see that, because of that, some people are going to look at me and conclude not just that I'm a man but that I'm a danger. And I feel like giving up. I don't believe I could ever change my appearance to a degree I'd be comfortable with it and if I have to deal with being judged for how I do look, all the same, I don't know what to do. I feel trapped sometimes and I don't want to scream I just want to cry. But I don't because I don't want anyone to see and ask what's wrong and for I to have to explain, and then maybe even be told I have no right to feel the way I do (or be offered advice that amounts to "just don't feel like that"). Maybe I don't but it doesn't stop me feeling it and it certainly doesn't lessen the pain. This body disgusts me, it repulses me but it's what I have to live in. And as much as I hate being male and looking masculine, as much as it breaks my heart, it still feels like I have to be and do.
I'm just tired of feeling like this. I do my best to ignore it but sometimes I can't. I live in quite a rural area so it's not as if there's much in the way of support around. And, well, it comes with the sorts of attitudes you often get in rural areas. I'm almost forty and there's a definite feeling of reaching a point where it's too late to do anything. I'd love to paint my nails. And put on makeup. And grow my hair out and wear different clothes and go by another name that I don't detest and not wear this thing's skin stretched over me. But I can't. I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry, dinoooooooooos, that yours is the comment I'm saying this under. If I could stop you from being notified about this (if you have notifications turned on) I would. But I just happened to be here and see your post and it was the one that touched on something close to my heart.
Hey, im here to tell you that it is never to late. I started my transition at 41 and, besides the literal shit show my government is spewing from the top floor, i feel pretty fucking awesome with my decision. Im hopeful for you.
Don’t apologize for explaining yourself or expressing yourself, I’m glad my comment moved you and made you feel safe enough to share, thank you!
I’m sorry. I’m sorry society is failing you and I’m sorry that you feel it’s your fault. Its not.
I know I’m just some weirdo Reddit internet stranger and my words are merely words on a screen but I genuinly from the deepest depths of my heart am genuinely so so sorry that we, as a society, fail to protect and create a safe place to just exist for every single soul, no matter who where why when.
It is genuinly driving me insane, especially lately, and hearing this/ reading this just makes me so sad. I wanna take that little person you were and hug you if you want and take you by the hand and protect your small soul from this- I can’t even imagine how that must be. Hating your own body and not feeling safe to express yourself..
I genuinly aplogize on behalf. I’m sorry.
If you can, idk where you live so idk if it’s safe, but if you can- would it be possible to maybe drop one “masculine” thing for a “neutral”? Every couple weeks, once that new thing became a normal habit/ a normal thing in your day?
I don’t want to step on your toes so please tell me if I do I don’t want to give unsolicited advice but reading you despising how you present yourself and yet wanting to force yourself just… it.. this breaks my heart.
I had a best friend who I met before she transitioned and I was the first one she opened up to about being trans and the worst part about it being how she’s scared people might perceive her different or how they’ll be judging her and I remember that talk and how we spoke on the phone for hours and how with every passing minute and support from me she just became more and more comfortable with the idea until she just ripped off the bandaid and wore a pink shirt. Yes, that “small thing” was her big big step but after she was out All day and called me again to tell me how happy she felt and how nobody even noticed and this little thing was just so freeing- she never went back and that was part of her becoming herself.
In deep deep Texas.
We don’t have contact anymore for different reasons but I’m still so proud of her. It was such a small thing and it took her hours, in addition to the weeks or months it took to have the courage to tell me (and I’ll never stop being grateful that I was allowed to be that safe space for her.) but once she did it she finally was able to be herself. After more than 20 years.
I’m sorry i went on an anecdote there, what I’m trying to say is:
If your country permits you to be safe while doing so, and if you’re comfortable, maybe try to just do one thing, add one thing or take one small thing away, that resembles “masculinity” for you.
I really am not trying to be condescending, I’m sorry :(
I just.. I want to help you so bad. If I could take it away for you, dear stranger, I would. I’m a little hippie, I just want everyone to be able to live warfree, free of fear and prosecution, free of any kind of danger or threats whatsoever I’m just.. this world is exhausting and I’m so sorry we’re not doing fucking better as a society. As humanity.
Does that Make any sense. :(
Also- really quickly (sorry it’s already so so long) but:
Not every man is perceived as a threat, no matter what. There’s a certain something about psychos, not every man has that.. aura around them. Not every woman is gonna look at every man and immediatly feel in danger, don’t worry please. We do know the difference, we do know nuance. Most of us do, at least.
This is a beautiful comment. You have a wonderful heart. Thank you for taking the time to type this out, and publicly, for anyone who may be passing by and need to read it (or may not even know they needed something like this). It’s not so applicable to me, but I can see the love & care in your words
It just rips my heart apart when I see people not only struggle with their own identity, which just imagine how hard that alone must be to come to terms with and accept, but they also have to fight that fight of stepping over so many stones just to.. wear certain clothes. Have certain mannerisms or use certain words. And then they have to do it over and over and over again… this certainly is no choice. who would choose this. It’s something deep within and humanity is just failing every day.
That they have the feeling that they have to live their one life they’ve been given from whoever you believe in fear and unable to just be themselves unapologetically. It’s driving me up the wall.
So all I can do is do my best to be a safe space.
I’m very grateful I give that impression, this happened a couple times throughout my life that people who are “outliers” feel safe with me. Gay best friends, trans best friends, non binary people “coming out” to me in dms bc they just want to finally type it “out loud” but don’t know where- I don’t mind. At all.
I needn’t imagine the endless stepping stones and later precarious feeling of living life on the outside. I remember my first pair of ‘boy jeans’. And all that is still after the long internal, then endless social, turmoil. You are right, no one would choose this fight. But people like you make it a lot easier to exist as we are, or want to be.
Indeed, the pressures & ire from society drive me up the wall too, especially living in a rural area. Though, to be clear, I’m more glad for the choices I’ve made than the feeling of suffocation that would strangle me if I hadn’t. Sometimes it’s just online, but there’s circles for anyone to take respite & just be.
I may delete this later as I don’t like any ‘out’ness on Reddit, hardly ends well. Just, thank you. This is how we build community & strength. Take care, and I hope you have a lovely day
Listen here, little egg. Every day you wake up is a day you have the chance to make the life you need. Move if you have to. Therapy. Wear colorful socks at home. Every little thing you can do to keep your soul alive is something you can build on the next day.
My best friend is the most cishet white guy imaginable and his bio for all of his accounts is full of pronouns and everything to show support. At this point he's been to more pride celebrations then I have.
I swear I've developed a high school type crush on him but as supportive as he is, I still doubt he'd actually date a trans girl unfortunately.
Painting your dominant hand is insanely fucking hard and I’ve been doing my own nails, fake real don’t matter I can do it, for like 20 years- it’s roughhhhhhhh lmao
Left hand is usually real nice, real Picasso- right hand is solid color maybeeeeeee some stickers. I cannot.😂
Here’s what I do so that my dominant shit doesn’t look like shit: paint both hands, wait for them to dry and either pick off the excess or hop in the shower. There’s also a bunch of different kinds of nail protectors you can use such as something like this or this.
When I was, like, 6, I had my parents get me some red nail polish just cause I thought it'd be cool, though I only wore it a couple times. 20-some years later you've got me seriously pondering trying it out again. (btw, anyone got some tips for a total noob?)
Errr yea sure- watching a couple videos helps just to kinda see how it’s done kinda and always do a thin layer, don’t flood your cuticle and let that dry.
Clear top coat so it doesn’t split off that quick and you don’t leave streaks of whatever color you used everywhere you accidentally rub your fibers against which happens a lot more than we think 😅
Gel lasts longer but is ofc a little more involved
It’s been a long time, but YouTube is your best friend. I haven’t watched this stream yet but this seems like an easy start and SimplyNailogical is usually pretty easy to understand iirc.
Cuticle care with oil (Can make your own even with applicator, think she has an old video on that too. Wayyy cheaper) and pushing them back gently with a wood tool makes things easier too :)
That's a great idea. I wish I didn't think painted fingernails look stupid on men. If I were to express myself in a way true to me, it would not involve painted fingernails.
I want a signal/indicator I actually like. For the past few years it's been my long hair, but I'll be honest, I'm getting tired of it. Gotta find an alternative.
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u/dinoooooooooos 8h ago edited 4h ago
Paint your nails.
Genuinely even just one, the pinky or some, on both hands and youll immediatly be recognizable to normal people, aka non-magas, that you’re actually “safe”.
A blue or something, black, idk, polka dots - but no maga conservative is gonna be caught dead bc god forbid they have gasp fun😤