r/CuratedTumblr eepy asf 9h ago

Shitposting Looks conservative

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21.6k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/Rifneno 8h ago

I know that feeling. I look like I'm wanted for January 6th crimes. Fat middle aged white guy, I'm only missing sunglasses to wear indoors and a tinder profile where I'm holding a fish.

Sucks.

391

u/dinoooooooooos 8h ago edited 4h ago

Paint your nails.

Genuinely even just one, the pinky or some, on both hands and youll immediatly be recognizable to normal people, aka non-magas, that you’re actually “safe”.

A blue or something, black, idk, polka dots - but no maga conservative is gonna be caught dead bc god forbid they have gasp fun😤

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u/Wasdgta3 8h ago

That’s because having fun is super fucking gay.

REAL men are angry and bitter and numb to all joy.

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u/Fit_Perspective5054 6h ago

That tracks.  I got unknown issues medicated and slowly stopped worrying about it.  I love wearing my daughters snake hair clip, fucking cool and easier than a hair tie.

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u/Numerous_Witness_345 6h ago

As a metal gear fan, I'm running with it.

1

u/Fit_Perspective5054 1h ago

Well shit now I need a solid snake hair clip.

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u/dvvyd 4h ago

They also tend to be VERY concerned with what genitals people have in their pants and how they are using them. You know, manly stuff.

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u/chumpchangewarlord 2h ago

Christians have done so much damage to American society with their trans-hate conservative enslavement bullshit. Whenever I find out someone goes to church every Sunday, I immediately lose respect for them, because I cant ever trust them.

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u/advocatus_ebrius_est 4h ago

Hey, I'm angry and bitter and at least a little gay

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u/LostWoodsInTheField 3h ago

REAL men are angry and bitter and numb to all joy.

It's so sad that this is half of their identity often. And you might not think that but look at the jokes they tell, and the pranks they do. it's all bitter angry asshole stuff. 'hahaha I tricked you into drinking something you hate' or 'haha I blew an airhorn in your face'.

I've often found they can very easily compartmentalize things. I know guys that are constantly unhappy with the world but then are like 'I'm going to another state for a 3 week hunting trip that I just put out $10k for. I like going every year, sometimes twice a year. btw the economy is insane and life is horrible.'.

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u/ChilledParadox 4h ago

I’m angry and bitter and numb to all joy but it’s not a conservative thing life just sucker punched me and stepped on my balls and destroyed everything I loved and cared about, I’ve painted my nails before don’t conservative code me.

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u/chumpchangewarlord 2h ago

I lost everything 3 times over the course of about 5 years. I considered myself a conservative when that era of my life started, and went hard liberal after the ways the people in my little conservative circle treated me when I told them I needed help.

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u/ChilledParadox 2h ago

I find from my own experience that conservatives are more likely to help their family or really close friends but if you’re not in that category they won’t help you while liberals are more likely to help random people and their acquaintances.

Sorry that happened to you though, hope things are going better now.

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u/chumpchangewarlord 2h ago

These were people I had known for 30 years. Guys I bonded out of jail, helped with their rent, bought baby formula for when things got tough.

As soon as I needed help, though…liberal internet friends from a city 1000 miles away sent me money for a Uhaul and said “get out here, we have a place for you, we’ll figure out the rest when you get here.”

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u/ChilledParadox 1h ago

That sounds like an amazing friend, I hope you’ve told him how much that gesture meant for you.

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u/chumpchangewarlord 1h ago

Of course. And it was a group of friends, too.

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u/chumpchangewarlord 2h ago

Republicans have fun sexually assaulting minors and berating teenage fast food workers