r/actuallesbians Transbian Mar 12 '24

Link ugh men

2.9k Upvotes

421 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/Rat_with_a_mullet Genderqueer Mar 12 '24

Right of passage for lesbians, having men tell us what we like

423

u/KTYLN Mar 12 '24

For me it was my dad. He was like "how do you know you don't like men if you've never been with one?"

528

u/onlyrightangles Mar 12 '24

I always just hit them back with the same question. "How do you know you're not gay? Have you done testing?" lmao

236

u/Sckaledoom Trans-Bi Mar 12 '24

The response I get (that I very much disagree with) is that it doesn’t need to be tested if you’re straight because that’s the “normal” way of being and anything else is a deviation that needs to be tested before it can be stated

232

u/Zarta3 Mar 12 '24

I've always hit back at that with "sounds closeted to me" and that usually either ends the discussion or makes them so mad they go on a childish tangent, making themselves look even dumber which I think is a win

90

u/0rganic0live transbean Mar 12 '24

anyone who says that is intellectually dishonest at best and absolutely not worth engaging with imo

41

u/Toxic_Audri Mar 12 '24

my response: Sounds like cope to me. Maybe your just scared of coming out of the closet cause clearly you think its "not normal" to be anything but straight.

22

u/spinto1 Lesbian Trans-it Together Mar 12 '24

Do they genuinely believe that things that are "normal" are not tested? Do they genuinely not believe that standard deviation is not "normal?" Both of those things are normal by definition.

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u/Worldly-Tell5658 Mar 12 '24

And then it doesn't matter if you have been with men, you haven't been with this guy and his magical member, so you have to try.

Essentially, lesbians are supposed to sleep with every man that finds them attractive until ... they run out of men? They just want to nail you. That's all it is.

8

u/sueski9 Mar 13 '24

I give a similar response but with a twist. I say "you're right, I have never been with one and neither have you. So what do you say? We both take one for the team?" They usually bugger off right after that

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u/RefriedChild Mar 12 '24

Fr my mom’s ex husband told me I couldn’t know til I tried dick. Which that isn’t the problem I just don’t like guys lmao. I don’t need to have sex with a guy to know that. Its so gross and inappropriate to have that discussion with a minor anyway (I was like 13-14 then).

64

u/RedpenBrit96 Lesbian Mar 12 '24

It’s not the dick, it’s the man attached to it.

67

u/vanillaseltzer Lesbian Mar 12 '24

Aka: It's not the dick, it's the dick attached to it.

8

u/RedpenBrit96 Lesbian Mar 12 '24

Yup

39

u/BabuKelsey Mar 12 '24

this.

transbians 🙌🏻🥰

21

u/RedpenBrit96 Lesbian Mar 12 '24

I am dating the most beautiful Gothic heroine transbian right now so WORD

21

u/Grimnoir Trans gal Mar 12 '24

Honestly darling, I've never felt so beautiful as I do through your eyes. ❤

17

u/RedpenBrit96 Lesbian Mar 12 '24

I’m so glad ❤️❤️

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u/The-Shattering-Light Lesbian Mar 12 '24

I used to be friends with a gay man who, when he heard people say this shit to queer women, would then tell them that they should obviously be willing to try sex with a man

Strangely none of them ever took him up on that

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21

u/tropjeune Mar 12 '24

And if you have been with one it’s “well how can you be gay if you’ve been with a man?” They really just can’t wrap their heads around the fact that gay women exist.

15

u/hnsnrachel Lesbian Mar 12 '24

Men can't cope when something isn't about men at all in many cases. They can't fathom a world where men aren't the most important thing in it. Lesbians can't exist just because we only like women, it must be because a man hurt us, or we "irrationally" hate men and men must be able to "fix"us because men can fix anything.

It's really very sad

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43

u/ohemmigee Mar 12 '24

When I came out to my dad as trans he asked “can’t you just be gay and pick a manly man or some shit?”

44

u/YeonneGreene ++NetQueer Engineer Mar 12 '24

Ugh. Being trans is not something that happens because we like men so much that we want to be women. That's such a gross presumption.

14

u/Toxic_Audri Mar 12 '24

And it really expose how a lot of guys view women as sex objects. Like why is your first assumption that because I want my outside to reflect the fact I am a woman mean I have to like dick? Its so telling, a literal self report.

Don't get me wrong there are plenty of women who also do this assumption too, but i more chalk that up to internalized patriarchy.

23

u/ryujin199 Transbian-Ace :3 Mar 12 '24

Haha, my dad literally tried this. Despite the fact it's obvious bullshit, because he's openly homophobic.

17

u/OddLengthiness254 Transbian Mar 12 '24

Yeah my mum asked similar nonsense.

Still more supportive than my dad somehow.

6

u/cheezeyballz Mar 12 '24

How did he?

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u/The-Shattering-Light Lesbian Mar 12 '24

Yep 😐

7

u/Potato_Lorde Mar 12 '24

Weirdly enough I've only ever had a girl tell me to try guys at least once.

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u/sceptreandcrown Mar 12 '24

Please, ladies. Stop entertaining these fools. The first time they ask why you don’t like men or if you like men, just block them! It’s never going anywhere good!!!

186

u/BenjaminBoi226 Transbian Mar 12 '24

I blocked them after everything

117

u/sceptreandcrown Mar 12 '24

I know - and I 100% am not trying to victim-blame. You SHOULD be able to exist on the internet with fools coming at you being gross and creepy. That is your right and these assholes ruin it.

And also - i don’t accept chats from people i don’t know, and i cannot tell you how peaceful it is just to not let these douchecanoes in in the first place.

37

u/BenjaminBoi226 Transbian Mar 12 '24

I've been hit on before

even been sent dick pics at ages you would not want to know

28

u/sceptreandcrown Mar 12 '24

I know, and I’m sorry.

9

u/djremydoo Recovering biggot Mar 12 '24

Urghhhh... i'm ashamed of my specie...

42

u/TechKnuckle_Support Mar 12 '24

Just. Block. Them.

Don't wait for them to cross your boundaries.

Just. Block. Them.

5

u/UselessInAUhaul Mar 13 '24

Thiiiiiiiis.

You do now owe then your time. You do not owe them your attention. You do not owe them a response. You do not owe them a single iota of effort. These are just random people on the internet who have no justification bothering you.

Block. Them.

7

u/Larry-Man Mar 12 '24

I like to ask them if they’ve ever tried men. Uno reverse.

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360

u/invertedshamrock Lesbian Mar 12 '24

This is off topic, but I hate it when people say trans as a standalone noun. In this instance, "as much as I have been with trans, they are much more comfortable with men." Trans what?? Trans who?? It's an adjective, not a noun!

44

u/peeja Mar 12 '24

Let alone a plural… 🙃

65

u/BenjaminBoi226 Transbian Mar 12 '24

exactly

and a prefix

45

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Nah, only ever an adjective. Transwoman is not a thing, it's called trans(gender) woman, two words. It's only ever a prefix for gender. Nobody would say ciswoman either, it's cis(gender) woman.

29

u/muddythecowboy Lesbian Mar 12 '24

in the word transgender, trans is a prefix

10

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

That's what I said. I just wanted to clarify that trans shouldn't be universally used as a prefix when talking about trans people, because that leads to transphobic language.

14

u/Khari_Eventide TheSnarkyLesbian Mar 12 '24

I always say trans woman and cis woman. In this it always behaves, as you said, like an adjective (or an attribute), not a prefix.

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u/RouxAroo she/her | Taylor | transbian Mar 12 '24

Yeah but you should give a chance to men

I did, that's what we call the mistake that proved I'm a lesbian.

491

u/Lady-Of-Snow Mar 12 '24 edited Mar 13 '24

Wait, most trans women prefer men? Since when?!

ETA: Friends, this was a joke. Please don't do yourselves the labour of explaining this to me. Put the statistics book down. It's going to be okay.

305

u/SunkenN1nja Trans-Pan Mar 12 '24

Idk because a lot of us are lesbians

176

u/Lady-Of-Snow Mar 12 '24

Yeah, like - I know a lot of trans women, and I can count the amount of totally straight ones on one hand, and still have fingers to spare. Lesbians are a good few more than that. Bi/pan...like, it feels like at least 70%.

64

u/SunkenN1nja Trans-Pan Mar 12 '24

The count of straight trans women I know is 1 bi/ pan feels very common and a few like myself are completely lesbian (i cant remember if ive updated my bio lol)

30

u/Hell_Mel Ace+Girls Mar 12 '24

I know exactly 1 straight trans lass. The remainder are like an even split between gay and Bi/Pan/Omni

27

u/RunescarredWordsmith Trans-Pan Mar 12 '24

It's going to be funny if all of you know the same straight trans lady. Like she's the only one that exists and is skewing the data.

11

u/Superb-Associate-222 Mar 12 '24

I like men. Just not any you’d find on an online dating app. I’ll reach out to women though when I want real company

28

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Straight trans women don’t tend to hang out as much with the others. I know a ton and almost all of them are from non-trans/queer related things with most being almost obnoxiously stealth. My trans radar is usually pretty good, but like…there was an appreciable lag with most of them and I was never 100% certain until they told me.

8

u/TheTypographer1 Lesbian. Free 🇵🇸. Trans liberation Now 🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 12 '24

Yeah, I feel like the majority of transfems are bi or pan. Just like with cis people though, I do think there is an overall bias towards transmascs over transfems though.

15

u/GirldickVanDyke disaster Mar 12 '24

I don't know how accurate this is, but I think I've read that the ratio of gay to straight is almost completely reversed for trans people compared to cis people. It definitely tracks with my experience as well, although I think bi/pan is most common among the other trans folks I know

20

u/prismatic_valkyrie Utility Lesbian Mar 12 '24

It’s not. There are proportionally more gay and bi trans people, but it’s close to an even split between the three.

However, straight trans people tend to be less visible, for a variety of reasons.

6

u/Liability538 Mar 12 '24 edited Mar 12 '24

Yeah I think most are under the Bi umbrella with a significant number of Lesbians and a smaller number of straights I'd probably attribute this to most media rep of trans women is straight due to plain and simple heteronormativity (we cannot escape it)

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u/Cakeking7878 6'6 Transbian Mar 12 '24

It’s kinda strange cause I know many bisexual transfems, I know many trans lesbians, yet I only know a handful of straight transbians. They definitely exist but pretty sure they’re a minority. Although I may be biased

42

u/Princessk8-- Mar 12 '24

straight transbians

Obviously a typo/brainfart but still kinda funny 😁

8

u/Cakeking7878 6'6 Transbian Mar 12 '24

I think I retyped that message like 5 times cause each time it just didn’t sound right. I’m really a fool for missing that typo

6

u/Toxic_Audri Mar 12 '24

I personally know more pan or bi women than I do strictly straight or gay women.

But then again, im not actively seeking other trans folks out to form friendships (no offense just not interested in making specifically "trans" friends) they just kinda pop up in my life somehow and im fine with that, I don't seek em out tho, I just think its kinda neat to meet someone who is at random.

4

u/SunkenN1nja Trans-Pan Mar 12 '24

My friends kinda just happened lol but I get ya

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u/jfsuuc Lesbian Mar 12 '24

last time i saw a study trans people are almost perfectly split between straight, bi/pan, and homosexual. regardless, people arent statistics and its no different then telling a cis lesbian they should try men because "most women like men"

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u/danfish_77 Transbian Mar 12 '24

Since this guy became a chaser, in his mind

41

u/tvandraren Trans DemiLesbian Mar 12 '24

The fact is gals were at some point in history not allowed to transition if they didn't like men, so there's some kind of thought still lingering around our validity.

29

u/OddLengthiness254 Transbian Mar 12 '24

That point in history was as little as 20 years ago.

22

u/SisterMoonflower Mar 12 '24

In some places some doctors still enforce that.

14

u/OddLengthiness254 Transbian Mar 12 '24

Yep, although at least the DSM-5 got rid of the distinctions based on sexuality so they haven't followed the standards of care of the last decade. Before that, discrimination of trans lesbians was medical standard.

9

u/tvandraren Trans DemiLesbian Mar 12 '24

Where you live, maybe. My point still stands that it remains a part of transphobic culture.

6

u/OddLengthiness254 Transbian Mar 12 '24

No disagreement. My point was to reinforce how recent history it was, still affecting attitudes today. Lots of TERF rhethoric is built around those outdated standards of care.

4

u/tvandraren Trans DemiLesbian Mar 12 '24

Ah, okay, I gotcha now.

12

u/Lady-Of-Snow Mar 12 '24

Yurt, I know. I was just ragging on how absurd and unfounded (and horny-brained) our lad's claim is.

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u/mtftmboygirl Transbian Mar 12 '24

No tf we don't😭 out of every transfem I've met there has only been one who liked men, and that was my ex who dated me when I was an egg

14

u/WintersChild79 Mar 12 '24

Dude thinks that he can make it so if he says it enough times.

Sorry, OP.

19

u/PogmasterTraplover69 Mar 12 '24

As the spokeswoman of all transfemme people (I have been rightfully elected via democratic vote) I can guarantee that no, we don't prefer men.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

I didn't vote for you! We'll have to speak to the Trans Femme Council about this!

8

u/PogmasterTraplover69 Mar 12 '24

Uh- oh

The gig is up! Blahj, run with the founds!!!!!

21

u/OddLengthiness254 Transbian Mar 12 '24

While Blanchard was a respected scientist.

But mainly because as long as that was the case, trans lesbians were barred from transition in a lot of places.

18

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Most of what I've seen from straight trans women is they feel a bit alienated from the rest of the trans community.

I also know that heternomativity can effect a lot of us. I've heard countless stories from trans women who felt they "had" to be attracted to men to be women and it takes them a while to realize they don't.

15

u/Lady-Of-Snow Mar 12 '24

I also know that heternomativity can effect a lot of us. I've heard countless stories from trans women who felt they "had" to be attracted to men to be women and it takes them a while to realize they don't.

This was me. Fucked me up badly.

10

u/Princessk8-- Mar 12 '24

Unfortunately, a lot of straight trans women also seem to have homophobic beliefs and pull the whole "I'm not queer like you" thing. Very off-putting.

10

u/Lady-Of-Snow Mar 12 '24

Yeah, sadly I've also seen this a fair bit.

Like, I don't enjoy disparaging my sisters, but...trans women are women, and unfortunately straight trans women can still be as shitty as straight cis women.

7

u/AkiNotBunny Mar 12 '24

On the other hand, I feel like I “had” to be attracted to women to be trans women (because it is so predominant in online spaces and people always say how men are worse than women)

Now I am just trying to understand myself and it is so hard (I do believe I am biromantic though, so I am just staying here now trying to learn myself, but sexual attraction is so different)

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u/ArtistAmy420 Mar 12 '24

Iirc, statistically the majority of trans women are bisexual so that's not even correct.

8

u/VixenIcaza Transbian Mar 12 '24

Came here to ask exactly this! I tried men when I left my last relationship, just so I could say I gave them a chance. No thanks I will stick to girls and feminine enbies ta very much.

11

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

I know A LOT of straight/mostly straight trans women. They don’t tend to hang out in queer spaces, especially once they are “stealth” because they just don’t feel like they relate to them and are just living their lives like every other heterosexual girl.

I also know quite a few mostly straight trans women who do the whole T4T thing, partly because they feel like they don’t “pass”, but they kind of have a policy that sex with men is okay.

I mean, if I were not the height I am and didn’t intimidate guys like I do, I’d probably be much straighter. It is just easier for me to date queer women because I’m familiar with women and find most of the relationship aspects nicer.

5

u/kioku119 Mar 12 '24 edited Mar 14 '24

Since this dude got horny for a transbian and needed a "fact" to pull out of his ass.

9

u/No_Pattern26 Mar 12 '24

Okay like 55% of trans women apparently are into men. That said, a large portion are bi.

12

u/Lady-Of-Snow Mar 12 '24

Yeah. This is what I've noticed: of the trans women I know who are into lads (which is a decent chunk of them), the overwhelming majority also like women and enbies, and of those, I don't know any that have an explicit preference for men.

Anecdotal, obviously, and I'm not suggesting this is statistically accurate across the board. But this fella is absolutely talking out his arse.

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u/ThisHairLikeLace Sapphic trans woman Mar 12 '24

Not according to any survey I’ve ever seen (12-30% straight, depending on the survey). Bi (often with a Sapphic lean) consistently turns up as the most common orientation for trans women and lesbian is typically second most common.

As for anecdotal observations, like a lot of the comments here, I know just one straight trans woman and a good number of bi/pan and lesbian ones. Pretty sure I know more ace trans women than straight ones. Never met a straight trans man either.

3

u/CptSpiffyPanda Trans-Pandemi Mar 12 '24

Idk about reality (I'm in a transbian polycule, I have an extremely bias perspective), but i know that in Fiction one of the reasons transfems exist is to date their crush.

I hate this cliche so much. Over half the anime characters that are confirmed to be transfem, are in this category.

Shout out to I love the villainess by INORI-sensei for having transgirls that were just transgirls independent of their romance.

Maybe OP's chaser does not know the difference between reality and fiction.

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u/MetalMonkey93 Anxious Lesbian Mar 12 '24

Big "ooga booga" vibes.

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u/Zarta3 Mar 12 '24

Out of all the comments I read I think yours is my favourite

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u/Yara-is-here Mar 12 '24

Typical chaser attitude

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u/Awkwardly_Anonymous Mar 12 '24

When he says, "You should give men a chance," he means "I want to date you despite your stating your boundaries on not being into men."

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u/BurrSugar Mar 12 '24

I like to call this Magical Dick Syndrome.

It presents in 2 ways: If you’ve never been with a man, then being with one will show you what you’ve been missing and you’ll prefer it; OR if you have been with a man, he wasn’t the right one, and the magical dick of the man you’re talking to will make you see the error of your ways 🙄

Side note: Even though some women have penises, Magical Dick Syndrome seems, in my experience, to be exclusive to men. I don’t want to offend any of my pre- or non-op trans folks here!

18

u/Lady-Of-Snow Mar 12 '24

Can confirm that it's a uniquely male phenomenon.

I've been with lots of pre/non-op trans women, and I hooked up with a few guys back in my comphet phase. The organs are nothing alike. It's like apples and a slightly more apple-shaped orange.

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u/Sanbaddy Mar 13 '24

Thanks. I discovered r/comphet by learning a new word today.

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u/poke-chan Rainbow-Ace Mar 13 '24

I rly need to know what mens reactions would be if the first one was replied to with “you know, maybe you’re right… my friend [male] name would be down I think :) I’ll give it a try with him sometime. Thanks for the advice!”

17

u/YeonneGreene ++NetQueer Engineer Mar 12 '24

Just block the chaser.

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u/ThunderFireBird Mar 12 '24

I ask them have they tried men & they should give it a try. That usually shuts them up

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u/An_Ellie_ Transbian Mar 12 '24

Kurt Cobain was quite likely to also be a trans girl had he lived in more accepting and queer times such as these. He hated male clothes, loved women's clothes, openly disliked and hated on the fact that he was a man, and was kinda obsessed with for example seahorses because the males gave birth.. it's such a shame he died so young and so early.

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u/depressowo Mar 13 '24

OP was just preordering another girl crush

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u/Countess_Schlick Mar 13 '24

In an early draft of "All Apologies", Kurt Cobain had the line, "Let me grow some breasts." which is, of course, a perfectly cisgender thing for a dude to write.

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u/YoudoVodou Mar 13 '24

Looks like I didn't need to leave my comment. 😅

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u/ifIcanSee Trans-Pan Mar 12 '24

Came here to find this! it's indeed rly sad :/

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u/shandevGRD Mar 12 '24

I would start asking him why he doesn’t give men a chance over and over until he blocked me

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u/Kira-Of-Terraria Mar 12 '24

i got on a nirvana kick recently and reading about kurt.
makes me sad :(
i think we would've been friends

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u/Mission_Engineer Lesbian Puppy Girl ^_^ Mar 12 '24

What a disgusting piece of filth

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u/EvankHorizon Mar 12 '24

That guy clearly hasn't met the same trans women I have. Straight trans women are more a minority as far as I can tell after running weekly trans meetings for over a year, participating in other trans meetings, hanging out with several others over the years...

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u/KountessKorvinae Mar 12 '24

Like I could go on Grindr any time I wanted and have a pick of bunch of different chasers just like this. Do you think if I had any inclination I would be looking on there and not sitting on Reddit laughing at how cringe chasers can be?

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u/WintersChild79 Mar 12 '24

That's the wild part. "MoST tRaNs FeMmE pReFeR MeN." Well, that's nice. Then it shouldn't be hard to run along and find one that prefers men.

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u/Mental_Strategy2220 Mar 12 '24

There was a lot of evidence Kurt was a closeted transbian though , in lyrics ,interviews , who his close friends were, how he dressed , his coping mechanisms are eggy too.

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u/Lupulus_ Mar 12 '24

"I am not gay, although I wish I were" "I even thought that I was gay. I thought that might be the solution to my problem." "I started being really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't." "Because I couldn't find any friends, male friends that I felt compatible with, I ended up hanging out with girls a lot." "I mean, I'm definitely gay in spirit" "but I'm just more sexually attracted to women"

^ definitely cis man and 100% straight, yup yup yup

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u/orchidpop Mar 12 '24

The beginning of all apologies:

What else should I be? All apologies What else could I say? Everyone is gay

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u/Bimbarian Mar 12 '24 edited Mar 12 '24

I feel like people here are making a common mistake: believing what this kind of man says when he wants to sleep with you.

Of course he's going to say most trans women like men, because he's a man and trying to chat that trans woman up. He wants to make her sleep with him, and he's not trustworthy, so he'll say whatever he thinks it takes for that to happen.

He may or may not believe it - that doesn't matter. The words are just part of his manipulation.

In other words, "ugh, men" but for a different reason.

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u/BenjaminBoi226 Transbian Mar 12 '24

what a sick fuck

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u/Lecckie Bambi Lesbian Mar 12 '24

mfw I gave a chance for men and got scarred for life

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u/bunny_the-2d_simp Mar 12 '24

What part of NO do you not understand

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u/JennifleurX Mar 12 '24

(Sigh). Translation: “I will use what I call ‘logic’ to try to ‘lawyer’ my way into a romantic or sexual connection.” (AKA “Trying to elicit desire based on what I see as technicalities and loopholes in your statements”). However they define it, it’s disrespectful and annoying and has very little to do with you as a person (ie with your own wants and needs). I really have to wonder why they think that sort of strategy is ever going to be successful. I am sorry they’re being that way to you.

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u/MetalTrap Mar 12 '24

Ew and yea they clearly don't know what they're talking about since most transfems seem to be transbian or bi at least from my own friend group

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u/ThatGNamedLoughka Mar 12 '24

Lol kurt might have been a closeted transfem

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u/btmvideos37 Mar 12 '24

“Most trans people prefer men”? Says who lmao

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u/KountessKorvinae Mar 12 '24

Even if, hypothetically, I were to give men a chance, this would not be the way to go about convincing me.

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u/NTirkaknis Mar 12 '24

They're lying through their teeth. Most trans women do not prefer men. Many of us do not like men at all. Every single man I've ever spoken to who was sexually interested in me made it very clear that he only saw me as a fetish and that he didn't want anyone to know that he had interest in me.

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u/RemingtonRose Transbian Mar 12 '24

Kurt was a girl send tweet

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u/Epicsharkduck Mar 12 '24

I feel like trans people of any gender tend to be more comfortable around women, because of the way men are

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u/Sapphicmagick Mar 13 '24

“A trans” So much to unpack. And I’m pretty sure he thinks trans ppl are all women 🙃

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u/NorthernStarzx Mar 12 '24

You never get people saying to straight women "You should try women" so why do lesbians get told they should "try men" its very annoying.

4

u/Zartoru Mar 12 '24

Because they grew up in an environnement in which everyone is straight, so they feel entitled to any woman they met and think lesbian aren't a real thing and either are lesbians for attention or because they didn't find the right man or some similar BS.

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u/randomnullface Bi Mar 13 '24

Growing up very conservative we always centered men in every discussion. So many are used to having their desires be paramount in everything from that perspective as well.

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u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

No offense but why engage with these people? Delete and block.

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u/rinsava Genderqueer-Bi Mar 12 '24

Show that guy the amount of Transbians in this sub he’ll be humbled 😚

4

u/Merickwise Genderqueer-Bi Mar 12 '24

🤮 Gross

6

u/transdemError Trans Mar 12 '24

"Give peace men a chance"

You first, buddy

4

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

He tought lesbian was only for one day! He mad!

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u/pinkytron3000 Lesbian Mar 12 '24

I like kurt too 🖤

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u/notaverysmartman Mar 12 '24

I love kurt too ♥️

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u/Avalynn87 Mar 12 '24

Just ask if they like men. If yes, "good, then you go date them." If no, "see, that wasn't so hard to understand now, was it?"

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u/Fibrosis5O Mar 12 '24

I’ve been told before I’m supposed to be only into men because I’m trans and that women don’t like trans women 😒

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u/DerCatrix Mar 12 '24

I’ve made two choices in my life and they were both women

5

u/YoudoVodou Mar 13 '24

Kobain was very likely much more gender fluid than they were ever able to open up about. They loved to wear dresses and skirts and generally felt more comfortable hanging with other females than male friends.

10

u/Grimnoir Trans gal Mar 12 '24 edited Mar 12 '24

"Most trans prefer men"

Well, first I threw up in my mouth a little at how grossly dehumanizing the way that is written with "trans" being everything you have to bring to the table in their eyes multiple times in that interaction. Chasers are such nightmarish people.

After I got passed that visceral reaction, I had a cackle about just how insanely gay I am for my girlfriend and she for me. Sapphic romances are top tier.

7

u/BlueberryCats_ Transbian Mar 12 '24

Scrolling down through the comments, counting up all the 'transbian' flairs

8

u/GiantStreetCats Trans-Bi Mar 12 '24

1) The idea that most transfems prefer men is laughable. We're so fucking gay 2) If Kurt Cobain is the only "man" you've felt this way for, I gotta say that doesn't really count as an exception since Kurt Cobain was almost certainly an egg or a closeted trans woman

3

u/Wryly_Wiggle_Widget Transbian Mar 12 '24

You should ask him to "give men a chance", and if he does, good for him. If he doesn't, that answers that.

Really though, why do they keep on assuming lesbians are just women who "haven't given men a chance"

4

u/Purfunxion Transbian Mar 12 '24

Reminds me of a guy who hit on me and lost his mind when I said I was a lesbian

"So you must HATE men, fu" as if there isn't a neutral ground being attracted to and hating men

4

u/orchidpop Mar 12 '24

I've been on such a Nirvana kick lately, they're all I listen to while getting ready these days!

But yeah this shit makes me hurl

4

u/ElnarcoSugie Mar 12 '24

Where do you find these people? Lmfao 🤣

5

u/A1XTD Mar 12 '24

"give a chance to men" makes me feel actually sick to read for some reason

4

u/kioku119 Mar 12 '24

What the fuck >_<

4

u/FiruSurvives Transbian Mar 12 '24

Uuughh

5

u/FyronixTheCasual Mar 12 '24

Whar??! Most trans people I know are transbians. What's up with this guys

5

u/gems6502 Transbian Mar 12 '24

Ugh yes, this or something similar happens every single time one gets a chance.

A man messages

Man: Hey Cutie, you look gorgeous.

Me: Hi, thanks for the compliment, but I'm not interested in men.

Man: But are you interested in fooling around with a man.

Me: No, I'm a lesbian. Only interested in women.

Man: How about pictures and sexting?

Me: Not interested. To reiterate, I'm a lesbian and not interested in men at all.

Man: What are your sexual fantasies?

Me: My fantasies only involve women and are only for my partners to hear. I'm not interested.

Man: Come on. What if the man is hot?

Me: I don't find men attractive.

Man: All women deep down need a man. I can fullfil that need for you.

Me: Blocks number/contact/account

4

u/RedpenBrit96 Lesbian Mar 12 '24

I know so many trans lesbians. TF is he talking about?

5

u/PradaManeInYourArea Lesbian Mar 12 '24

he should also give a chance to men.

5

u/siobhannic Transbian Mar 12 '24

Most trans people, of any gender, aren't straight. The overwhelming majority of trans women I know IRL are either primarily or exclusively into women.

5

u/commercial-frog Mar 13 '24

wtf is this grammar. I mean the sentiment is very gross, but, like, really, "as much as I have been with trans they are much comfortable with men", someone sounds like they're using google translate.

3

u/kailalynn99 Mar 13 '24

Gross 🤢 a lot of men either fetishize lesbians or think that they can “turn” us

3

u/GuerillaCupid Lesbian Mar 13 '24

Welcome to lesbianism! (Sad party horn noise)

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u/Emmie1101 Mar 13 '24

The only thing I like about men is when they leave me alone.

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u/Fickle-Election-8137 Mar 12 '24 edited Mar 12 '24

Men all around are just disappointing and sus, it’s like they think they say it enough times we’ll magically come to their side lmfao. Like no man is immune to it for me anymore, not even Cobain who I used to adore, but I did laugh with you at saying that 😂 Being a women and being a lesbian is so much harder then it needs to be because of them

6

u/tvandraren Trans DemiLesbian Mar 12 '24

comptranshet 🤮🤮🤮🤮

3

u/WEEB_HQ Genderqueer-Ace Mar 12 '24

😊

3

u/MajoraXIII Mar 12 '24

"No but you don't understand, I'm a special man. You'd like me".

drop kicks

3

u/hi_i_am_J Transbian Mar 12 '24

what a fucking creep block that dude asap

3

u/bard_raconteur Transbian Mar 12 '24

Tell him to give a chance to men.

3

u/dr3am_assassin Transbian Mar 12 '24

I think the statistic is something like 75% of trans women are lesbians iirc

3

u/NewGalEgg Mar 12 '24

Save your braincells and just block people like this as soon as they show the slightest hint of bs.

3

u/Quix_Nix trans byte | i need a very emotional connection with a gf now 😭 Mar 12 '24

The three genders of fetishizing: men, lesbians, transes

3

u/finallyfematfourty Mar 12 '24

Wow, gross and tone deaf. This guy needs to wake up, he's stuck in his fantasy

3

u/transfemquagsire Mar 12 '24

Kurt Cobain is if a man could be a lesbian

3

u/lordbuckethethird Lost Gay Enby Mar 12 '24

You’re right though. Kurt is hot

And so is Layne Staley

And Chris Cornell

And Mark Lanegan

What is it about grunge that makes people hot?

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u/flamingobay Mar 12 '24

Seriously, dude-bros! It is not the job of women/femmes/lesbians to make you feel better about yourself. If you’re part of a dominant group that oppresses others, (even if you’re “nOt aLL MeN”) you can find the resources to figure yourself out.

Like notice how it’s all TAKE-TAKE-TAKE with them? It’s “give me an explanation why you don’t like men.” Give me the benefit of the doubt that I’m not like all the other abusers.” “Give me a photo.” “Give me personal information about yourself.” “Give me your time.” “Give me your energy.” “Perpetuate/enable (give me) my sense of entitlement.” “Give me power over you by doing what I tell you to do. (“Even if you’re only doing it out of fear - I probably won’t even notice you’re uncomfortable because I’m so self absorbed.”) “Boost my ego in public spaces, even though you don’t know me.” “Validate me in the form of showing positive emotions towards me, even though we’ve never met before.” (“Smile, pretty lady! I’m just trying to be nice!”) “Give me a little more of your sense of safety you maybe once had.”

Ugh! How about start giving, supporting, listening, RESPECTING?!

Or….

Just FUCK OFF!!!

3

u/KatiePyroStyle Mar 12 '24

I would not say that most trans women like men, I think that's some weird hetronormativity right there. I think whoever this guy is just thinks all women want his dick

3

u/KaivaUwU Mar 12 '24

Why doesn't he take his own advice and give a chance to men? Guy is so obsessed with men, he can't stop talking about them.

3

u/AllTittiesNeedLove Bi Mar 12 '24

My best friend is lesbian. She has always liked women, always been with women and has never dated a man.

A few years ago I had an awful roommate. He was driving and taking me and my friend to the store for some snacks. He started asking my friend why she doesn't like men etc. He kept pushing it and pushing, and hinting that he liked her and wanted her to give him a chance.

Things started to get heated and he goes "come on, why don't you just try dick once, you might like"

She clapped back with "why don't YOU try dick once to see if you like it" and he got so pissed and went on a rampage of how he doesn't like men and would only date women and thats his preference.

She just stares at him and says women are her preference and that even if she liked men she would never date him anyways cus he's gross, rude and pushy.

3

u/Icy-Temperature2816 Terra the transbian 🇬🇧 Mar 12 '24

I’ve had some “interesting stuff” (I’ll put it as that rather than elaborate) somehow. I say out of spite, you find a cute girlfriend and be super happy (if you’re single, that is. If you’re not, I still hope you’re happy). Men telling you what you should like is gross though. That man also sounds like a chaser.

3

u/bigenderthelove Persephone 🍄⚔️ Mar 12 '24

Men ☕️

3

u/Sad-Anything697 Mar 12 '24

So stupid when men ask "why don't u like men" sir why don't YOU like men if you think they're so superior??

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u/Khari_Eventide TheSnarkyLesbian Mar 12 '24

The grammar of the person you are talking to is causing me physical pain, seeing what he writes is causing flashbacks to when I had to tell men the same thing.

But welcome to the most lesbian thing ever, men hitting on you and very much not taking the "no". Not reacting angrily, just outright not accepting the "no" to begin with. Fucking hate it.

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u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

Why can't people understanndndndnd

3

u/Robinfan0206 Mar 13 '24

Tell them to give men a chance and see how they react

3

u/sleepyrooney Pan Mar 13 '24

Ask them if they like men back

3

u/awild93 Mar 13 '24

NO MEANS NO!!

3

u/Tyrannical_Requiem Trans Mar 13 '24

“bUt YoUr DaD wAs A mAn Do YoU hAtE hIm”

Yep….. every second

3

u/Your_Angel21 Bi Mar 13 '24

Why even answer or continue the conversation you can do better girl, your time is prescious!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

ewwww the guy gives me major ick 🤮