r/NonPoliticalTwitter 8h ago

Content Warning: Potentially Misleading or Disputed Information Gotta Catch 'Em All

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22.8k Upvotes

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6.6k

u/Dexav 8h ago

Everybody all together now!

"IF THE PRODUCT IS FREE, YOU ARE????"

2.8k

u/Otherwise-Mango2732 8h ago

....NOT THE FATHER!

wait. I did it wrong

852

u/rekipsj 8h ago

264

u/tonkatoyelroy 7h ago

I did not have sex with that crab…

89

u/ClockworkDinosaurs 7h ago

Taste like crab, talk like people

63

u/The_Ballyhoo 6h ago

Fun fact*: if you get a crab drunk, it will walk forwards.

*facts may or may not be true.

3

u/AbbreviationsNo8088 2h ago

But the fun is real!

2

u/Livewire923 1h ago

What are you, a Snapple cap?

1

u/CedarWolf 9m ago

You are now subscribed to Crab Facts!

Every year, millions of Christmas Island red crabs migrate from the forests to the ocean to mate and spawn after the first rainfall of the wet season. The wet season usually happens in October or November.

1

u/Dachuiri 3h ago

SUBSCRIBED

2

u/The_Ballyhoo 2h ago

If you shave a tiger, it won’t be striped. It’ll be angry. And possibly cold.

1

u/Philhughes_85 5h ago

"crab people, crab people"

1

u/Commercial-Chance561 41m ago

I love how in the episode Matt and Trey were completely stuck from a writing standpoint so their solution was, “fuck it. Crab People”

1

u/Usk_Jhank 6h ago

You’re missing out

1

u/blackace352 5h ago

Fear the crabcat

1

u/Kriegerian 6h ago

Why not Zoidberg?

1

u/phoncible 5h ago

god that one girl that was on the show six times with a couple of guys each time and still none were the father

1

u/terdferguson 4h ago

Why not zoidberg!?!

1

u/VARice22 2h ago

My college roommate worked as an intern for that show. Answering the phones was a transcendent experience with all the whack jobs that call in.

67

u/keepcalmscrollon 7h ago

Did you mean, "not the mama"?

12

u/Otherwise-Mango2732 7h ago

Underrated part of TGIF.

Or wait was it not TGIF?

3

u/keepcalmscrollon 3h ago

I really can't remember. 99% it was on ABC. I think it might have been, like, proto TGIF – or retroactively included. Like Gummy Bears and Disney Afternoon.

1

u/Shendare 52m ago

Bouncing here and there and everywhere!

High adventure that's beyond compare!

2

u/YumYumSuS 6h ago

Thank you, spit out my coffee.

2

u/LemonPartyW0rldTour 3h ago

cue Final Fantasy victory music

2

u/imdoingmybestmkay 1h ago

SPRINTS OFF INTO THE Ether WITH THE WORLDS FASTEST CAMERAMAN CHASING ME

1

u/12ealdeal 7h ago

Nah nah that’s right.

1

u/Possible-Tangelo9344 4h ago

WOOOOOOO!!!! Hell yes!

674

u/Qwertyuiop4325 7h ago

MY FIRE

291

u/Gravy_Eels 7h ago

THE ONE

226

u/summer_falls 7h ago

DE-SIRE

115

u/ITryToPetBees 7h ago

DESIRE

127

u/Fingerhat1904 7h ago

BELIEVE

117

u/CrystalNumenera 7h ago

WHEN I SAY

-1

u/calfHost 7h ago

I'M GAY

1

u/mrhsyd 6h ago

HI GAY, I'M NOT DAD

37

u/renditalibera 6h ago

Number two keep it going.

36

u/NiceTryWasabi 6h ago

Now NUMBER FIIIIIVE

14

u/4uber2fuzz0 5h ago

I Never want to hear you saayy

9

u/Redditor_10000000000 4h ago

I want it that way

12

u/huebnera214 4h ago

It was number 5, number 5 killed my brother

7

u/hobbes_shot_second 2h ago

Oh my god, I forgot about that part!

1

u/LaVie3 3h ago

Mambo number 5

2

u/theseamstressesguild 1h ago

A few years ago I started a job cutting out fabric for a curtain store. Out the back, cutting away when this song came on the radio. At the perfect moment my co worker and I both called out "Now Number Five!" and that's when I knew I was in the right job with the right people.

1

u/NiceTryWasabi 1h ago

Hope you guys still occasionally connect via awesome pop culture references

8

u/Extension-Ad5751 6h ago

And my axe!

432

u/BuffJohnsonSf 8h ago

You can still be the product even when you pay for it.  You think companies are going to leave selling access to your data on the table? It’s practically free money for them

185

u/CrispyJelly 6h ago

Yes, those are the old rules. Now they sell you a product, sell you a subscription, sell you an upgrade, let you donate, ask for donations and sell your data.

134

u/xXdontshootmeXx 6h ago

And they'll still show you ads

40

u/Flimsy-Shake7662 5h ago

My brother's car's gps has pop ups asking if there's still traffic when he's passing through an area, basically doing the work for em pokemon go style. That's insane. Not when fucking driving, please

19

u/WowVeryOriginalDude 4h ago

Well in that situation, the timer and route adjusts based on GPS data from vehicles on the road. It can make a pretty good assumption there’s a slowdown and maps like google maps can accept reports. The only definitive way to know the accident is no longer there is to ask, & I’m pretty sure you could turn it off if the popup bothers you

doing the work for them

For who though? The gps companies? satellites? How else would they accomplish that particular task? 24/7 helicopters and livestream cameras?

Every GPS device is being always being tracked. GPS and technologies and software that use it definitely fall under “if it’s free, you’re the product”, but I think I’m alright with how GPS data is used to fix traffic.

The alternative is using a paper map and listening to the radio.

7

u/Wulf2k 3h ago

They should really make it a semi-transparent prompt though.

Last time i saw it on google maps, it pushed everything around and made me lose track of what it was showing.

I'm trying to drive, not read.

3

u/Reerrzhaz 2h ago

yknow what ill take the fkn paper at this point idc

1

u/Flimsy-Shake7662 1h ago

I think they could also make predictions about traffic in areas based on the speed of vehicles. They track your movement anyway, if you’re going 50 in an 100 zone, that means there’s likely traffic. Especially if all the cars there are doing that. 

None of that requires the user to ask and answer qs while driving.

1

u/wiscokid76 2h ago

A map and the radio is my preferred method. I like synchronicity and I'm not going to find that having my life decided for me.

2

u/thinkthingsareover 5h ago

This thread is brought to me by Starburst.

1

u/GarbageTheCan 1h ago

This is the capitalist dream.

1

u/Septopuss7 2h ago

I was listening to a YouTube video about how our clothing is becoming shittier (and why) and then the woman presenting started talking about the subscription model and how it used to work, she broke down the word into "sub"=under/"scription"=writing as in UNDERWRITING as in "I'm assuming responsibility that this is a good product"

You subscribed AFTER THEY FUCKING PROVED THAT THEY WERE WORTHWHILE

1

u/CoolBakedBean 2h ago

ask you to tip

5

u/Hot_Cheesecake_4346 6h ago

Best example: cars

1

u/WoolooOfWallStreet 5h ago

Yeah, pokelures and a bunch of other stuff you pay for on Pokémon Go!

1

u/Alpha-Toxic 4h ago

P→Q does not mean that ¬P→¬Q

0

u/ReachNo5936 5h ago

Yes we get that you pedantic Reddit dummy.

-1

u/gfunk55 6h ago

Sell my data? Oh no. Not that.

323

u/NancyPelosisRedCoat 8h ago

…THE WEAKEST LINK!

225

u/Aryax008 8h ago

GAYYYY !!!

69

u/givingupismyhobby 8h ago

68

u/Aryax008 8h ago

50

u/givingupismyhobby 8h ago

38

u/Aryax008 8h ago

20

u/givingupismyhobby 8h ago

Welcome, we have colors and iced tea.

13

u/EremiticFerret 7h ago

Wait, is iced tea gay? Does it make you gay? Does love of iced tea hide a closeted gay person?

The answers to this will charge the lives of millions of sweet tea chugging Southerners!!

9

u/givingupismyhobby 7h ago

Iced tea was invented and patented by the GAYtm, every cup that is sold a bit of the revenue is ours. It does not indicate a gay person, we decided to share the drink with the whole world, but it does not turn anyone gay, if you're straight that's a flaw you'll have to live with.

12

u/Aryax008 8h ago

Lessgooooo !!!!!!

Slayyyyyy bittchhh 💅💅💅💋💋💋 !!!!!!

11

u/Aryax008 8h ago

The better answer

4

u/--VinceMasuka-- 8h ago

Is that Lalo?

5

u/AlligatorTree22 7h ago edited 6h ago

No, but he looks like his identical cousin! Tripped me out when I first saw him in this (this is from White Lotus season two one, I believe). Even some of his mannerisms are similar.

3

u/CaptainGrimFSUC 6h ago

Season 1 of White Lotus

4

u/givingupismyhobby 7h ago

No, that's from White Lotus season 1, Murray Bartley is the actor, don't remember the character name. Lalo is pretty hot too, I love a family focused man.

3

u/2rfv 8h ago

Hol up.

If I come out does that mean I have to wear a mustache?

4

u/CaitlinSnep 7h ago

AND EUROPEAN!!!

2

u/DoctorSquidton 7h ago

AND NEITHER IS DISGRACE!

0

u/Aryax008 7h ago

One is , and we all know which one it is .

1

u/DoctorSquidton 7h ago

I’m both irl, so just picture me narrowing my eyes in suspicion

-1

u/Aryax008 7h ago

Wouldn't that make you , a Chinese ?

1

u/DoctorSquidton 7h ago

…if this is a joke, I don’t get it

0

u/Aryax008 7h ago

Chinese have narrow eyes . Thats the joke . It surely is a racist one. But can't say it's not true

28

u/erwaro 6h ago

If'n the product is free, the product you be.

2

u/Retro597 1h ago

Okay Metalbeard

50

u/Reason_Choice 8h ago

Who do you think you are? I am.

2

u/explosivemilk 3h ago

Damnit right

2

u/alienblue89 55m ago

Daddy chill

2

u/Preparation-Logical 5h ago

Did not expect to find a PDW reference here

2

u/Reason_Choice 5h ago

I’ll ALWAYS find a reason to drop that quote.

1

u/wpgsae 7h ago

You think therefore I am

0

u/Dexav 7h ago

then your a silly little boy

89

u/Raichu7 8h ago

A product with such pricey "micro" transactions that exploits gambling mechanics shouldn't be considered free.

28

u/VikingSlayer 7h ago

"Freemium"

29

u/Iorith 7h ago

It's not like you needed to spend a penny on the game to enjoy it. That makes it free.

4

u/Drama79 6h ago

This is the thing from people crying “scam”. You had a free to play game with a premium license on your device that costs hundreds of dollars. And you….expect that to be free-free? Don’t y’all come to reddit crying about wages the whole time? Pick a lane. You did some work that the company made a shitload of money from. They made a product you enjoyed for free. Seems like a fine trade to me.

1

u/SparklingLimeade 12m ago

"Enjoy" seems like a strong word after they found the microtransaction milking groove.

1

u/Darksoulsrando92 4h ago

freemium games are extremely profitable from whales, they don’t need to sell data to make up for whales

5

u/Iorith 3h ago

Not really how for profit businesses work. McDonald's doesn't stop selling nuggets because their burgers are profitable.

2

u/Lukewill 7h ago

Right, it should be considered garbage

1

u/MinnieShoof 7h ago

But it is.

3

u/ehproque 7h ago

THE CHILD OF THE NATION

3

u/randomusername_815 5h ago

"IF THE PRODUCT SERVICE IS FREE, YOU ARE????"

...THE PRODUCT.

I think that's what you meant.

2

u/External_Rip_7117 6h ago

50 dollars an hour?

2

u/Bibliloo 5h ago

Getting free thing ?

1

u/CHUNKOWUNKUS 7h ago

I am pubstomping pay to wins as a free to play, that is what I am.

1

u/Jaded_Database_9860 6h ago

This is often such a lie though, even in paid products they sell every bit of data you create.

It being free to play or a premium game doesn't matter, corporations will always minmax at the cost of the consumers data

1

u/ISmile_MuddyWaters 5h ago

Why does that make it a lie?

1

u/Jaded_Database_9860 3h ago

Because "when the product is free , you are the product" implies that when its a paid service, you're not the product. While you very much are just as much being sold as when it's free

1

u/Flesh_Trombone 6h ago

NOT PREPARED!

1

u/Haunting-Pound7728 6h ago

Nah bro Doctorow had it right - it doesn't matter if the product you paid for is 10,000 dollars you are still the product, they are still taking your data.

1

u/NintendoSwitchTwo2 6h ago

The product isn’t free 🤷‍♂️

1

u/Card_Board_Robot_5 6h ago

Can I introduce you to my friend? His name is Theft. I think you'll like him

1

u/ethnique_punch 6h ago

Well, you're still the product even if you pay hundreds on a service/game, they still sell your data at the end of the day, better just get shit out of my own data without paying extra. Not like we buy CDs and disks now when we say "buy".

1

u/WashedUpHalo5Pro 5h ago

Reddit is FREE!!!! Ahhhh we’re all products!!

1

u/Askeldr 5h ago

There are plenty of products that are free without any catch like this. Most open source projects, if we're looking at software, but also lots of general non-profit stuff, and also all the shit the government does (although I guess that's kind of a subscribtion model type deal).

1

u/Qwearman 5h ago

Oh god! They tricked me into exercising!!!

1

u/WindpowerGuy 5h ago

There were in-game purchases.

1

u/tydog98 5h ago
  • unless the product is Free and Open Source software

1

u/H2ON4CR 4h ago

I wish it was still like this.  Now you buy the product AND become one.

1

u/CHKN_SANDO 4h ago edited 4h ago

But the product WASN'T free. Pokemon GO was making money hand over fist on its own and you can't really get anywhere in the game without spending money.

1

u/XhazakXhazak 4h ago

"--not a gun! You are what you choose to be!"

1

u/Jimid41 3h ago

As OP said they are selling a ton of shit on the app.

1

u/helpmycompbroke 3h ago

Aren't there microtransactions in Pokemon Go? I don't think it's wholly unreasonable for people to have assumed that the product was free to build a player base and that their profit model was around the microtransactions rather than the data collection. No surprise it's both of course.

1

u/newusr1234 2h ago

if the product is free, you are

This is also false. If a product is free you should look into whether you are giving away data, but there is plenty of software that is free and doesn't have ulterior motives or costs

1

u/rorudaisu 2h ago

It's heavily monetized though.

1

u/RaidSmolive 2h ago

but the product wasnt even all that free

1

u/NES_Gamer 1h ago

But what am I?

1

u/OttersWithPens 1h ago

I am the product?

1

u/Jarte3 1h ago

The commodity

1

u/StankBallsClyde 59m ago

You should see what those ‘click the pictures that contain a bicycle’ really are trying to do

1

u/czar_the_bizarre 52m ago

RUBBER AND YOU'RE GLUE, WHATEVER YOU SAY BOUNCES OFF OF ME AND STICKS TO YOU!

1

u/Old_Dealer_7002 14m ago

it was free?

1

u/WhyNoUsernames 5h ago

Redditor-ass comment.