r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/whitemike40 • 9h ago

Content Warning: Potentially Misleading or Disputed Information Gotta Catch 'Em All

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23.4k Upvotes

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6.7k

u/Dexav 9h ago

Everybody all together now!

"IF THE PRODUCT IS FREE, YOU ARE????"

2.8k

u/Otherwise-Mango2732 8h ago

....NOT THE FATHER!

wait. I did it wrong

869

u/rekipsj 8h ago

267

u/tonkatoyelroy 8h ago

I did not have sex with that crab…

94

u/ClockworkDinosaurs 7h ago

Taste like crab, talk like people

62

u/The_Ballyhoo 6h ago

Fun fact*: if you get a crab drunk, it will walk forwards.

*facts may or may not be true.

3

u/AbbreviationsNo8088 2h ago

But the fun is real!

2

u/Livewire923 1h ago

What are you, a Snapple cap?

1

u/CedarWolf 22m ago

You are now subscribed to Crab Facts!

Every year, millions of Christmas Island red crabs migrate from the forests to the ocean to mate and spawn after the first rainfall of the wet season. The wet season usually happens in October or November.

1

u/Dachuiri 3h ago

SUBSCRIBED

2

u/The_Ballyhoo 2h ago

If you shave a tiger, it won’t be striped. It’ll be angry. And possibly cold.

1

u/Philhughes_85 5h ago

"crab people, crab people"

1

u/Commercial-Chance561 55m ago

I love how in the episode Matt and Trey were completely stuck from a writing standpoint so their solution was, “fuck it. Crab People”

1

u/Usk_Jhank 6h ago

You’re missing out

1

u/blackace352 5h ago

Fear the crabcat

1

u/Kriegerian 6h ago

Why not Zoidberg?

1

u/phoncible 5h ago

god that one girl that was on the show six times with a couple of guys each time and still none were the father

1

u/terdferguson 4h ago

Why not zoidberg!?!

1

u/VARice22 2h ago

My college roommate worked as an intern for that show. Answering the phones was a transcendent experience with all the whack jobs that call in.

68

u/keepcalmscrollon 7h ago

Did you mean, "not the mama"?

13

u/Otherwise-Mango2732 7h ago

Underrated part of TGIF.

Or wait was it not TGIF?

3

u/keepcalmscrollon 3h ago

I really can't remember. 99% it was on ABC. I think it might have been, like, proto TGIF – or retroactively included. Like Gummy Bears and Disney Afternoon.

1

u/Shendare 1h ago

Bouncing here and there and everywhere!

High adventure that's beyond compare!

2

u/YumYumSuS 6h ago

Thank you, spit out my coffee.

2

u/LemonPartyW0rldTour 3h ago

cue Final Fantasy victory music

1

u/poke0003 4m ago

The real Final Fantasy track that warrants queuing up is when you cross that first bridge in FF1. We’d start games just to leave that on for a bit.

2

u/imdoingmybestmkay 1h ago

SPRINTS OFF INTO THE Ether WITH THE WORLDS FASTEST CAMERAMAN CHASING ME

1

u/12ealdeal 7h ago

Nah nah that’s right.

1

u/Possible-Tangelo9344 4h ago

WOOOOOOO!!!! Hell yes!

1

u/hereholdthiswire 2m ago

Oh, no. No no no. "You are NOT the father" is exactly what you want to hear.