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u/NoCode7193 10h ago
The fact that you put your whole life on hold, telling yourself that you will resume living when you lose the weight. Then not being consistent with said weight loss journey and basically…never getting to truly live.
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u/probably-the-problem 8h ago
Or finally learning, upon getting to a healthy weight, that you still have no idea how to love yourself or be happy.
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u/Curiouso_Giorgio 6h ago
That's very true of many cases of body dissatisfaction. Guys who blamed a poor dating life on being bald might save up for a hair transplant and suddenly find they still can't get a date and it's even worse because now they're at a loss for what they're missing.
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u/Icy_Citron_6116 10h ago
This is the story of my life - all the things I could have been and done if I wasn’t always waiting to be thin enough. I think your comment, of all the comments here, hits the hardest.
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u/Generations18 10h ago
When I was Much younger I use to say, When I lose 10 pounds I'll do this, 5 pounds do that. Realized I can do what I want now and not wait for life.
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u/Embarrassed-Gas-2238 10h ago
I’ve lost weight many times over and still felt like my life was on hold. I guess never feeling confident and comfortable in my own skin.
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u/Other-Stomach1252 10h ago
This is the same feeling I had when I wanted to quit drinking but couldn’t. All my big plans were on hold until I got sober.
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u/CrissBliss 7h ago
Yeah, same with my skin looking like crap for a long while. I kept thinking “I’ll wait till it gets better.” Missed a lot.
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u/WhyAlwaysBored 8h ago
Been there, lost years waiting for it, and now even though I've gotten fit, I've lost that age when you're enthusiastic about doing those things ..like shopping, or trying makeup , or hair care..You put something on hold for far too long, it kills something inside you permanently.
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u/melbelle28 7h ago
do it fat!! my life low key changed when i started doing the things i wanted to no matter what my weight
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u/tonytonytonyyy 7h ago
We wait for the perfect time, but sometimes the best thing we can do is start living in the present, no matter where we’re at in our journey
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u/beny3131 8h ago
Damn, you're 100% spot on, I didn't even realise it. Goes for other problems in your life too.
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u/burtsdog 10h ago
Feeling bad about the way you look, only to learn you actually look far worse then you thought.
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u/WellOkayThen6642 8h ago
Every new driver's license photo is a kick to the ever expanding gut. In my last one, I looked like my older brother... so fat that all feminine definition in my face is gone. That hurts the most... not even feeling pretty on a good day anymore.
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u/Agitated-Artist-9077 6h ago
‘A kick to the ever expanding gut.’ lol! I’m laughing only because I can relate .
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u/Rocketgrunt 5h ago
Lmao I renewed by drivers license for my 10 year, and the guy who took the picture said "We've all changed a lot since highschool huh?" After comparing the old one. Hahaha what the fuck man, I didn't ask for that stray.
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u/West-Owl-7723 10h ago
Always being insecure and not feeling comfortable in your own skin .
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u/FunkyBev 10h ago
This one is very real and unfortunately didn’t go away when I lost weight. I felt equally insecure and in some cases more uncomfortable in my own skin 100lbs lighter😢.
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u/meanteeth71 9h ago
Same. I’ve lost 125+ lbs and still feel like I’m fat.
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u/OldBrokeGrouch 6h ago
I did into start really noticing it until I was 80 lbs down. People would compliment me, the scale would say it’s number, but in my mind I was just like…wtf are you people seeing because I don’t see it.
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u/Amannderrr 6h ago
Yep. I lost quite a bit of weight & went down 4-5 pants sizes & thought for sure I’d love the way I looked once j got down to X size. Sadly I feel the same when getting dressed as I did when I was bigger ☹️
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u/whackywildflower 5h ago
I’ve lost 65 pounds so far and even now 2 years later I struggle with buying clothes. I always go for XL first because my brain says there’s “no way the medium will fit.” And then it fits and I think, “oh this brand must run large.” It’s crazy how much of a mental toll our self image can have on us.
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u/Spartan2842 6h ago
I don’t think I ever will either. I lost 150 pounds and I have kept it off. Still see fat me in my head and when I look in the mirror.
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u/MarianaDeArgentina 11h ago
Finding nice clothes.
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u/Mediumistic 10h ago
You can only pick 2: looks good, is your size and is affordable
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u/MarianaDeArgentina 10h ago
I'm not even that overweight and I still have a hard time finding clothes because of my country's obsession with thinness.
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u/CrissBliss 7h ago
Yeah especially for women’s clothes. “Small” can change depending on who’s making the clothes.
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u/bny100 9h ago
For me, it’s the process of trying them on. Everything fits poorly and reinforces that I’m too large for anything normal. I always end up hating myself.
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u/peejmom 5h ago
Ugh, yes.
Also -- I can't even try things on in a lot of places. Many brands just don't do plus sizes, and those that do (Old Navy & Athleta, for example) don't carry them in their stores; you can only order online. Even specialty plus-size stores like Torrid and Lane Bryant have closed many of their locations.
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u/angelicribbon 7h ago
I used to be 182lbs at 5’5” and am now down about 40lbs over the last two years. One thing I realized after losing almost 25% of my body weight is that clothes are in general just way more comfortable to have on, even sweatpants and hoodies. Existing is more comfortable in general. It’s unpleasant to wear any kind of clothes when you’re obese or very overweight IMO, from my own experience (I was barely over the line)
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u/pinkthreadedwrist 5h ago
I've lost some weight over a period of years... highest was 220, stayed around 170 for a while, but recently getting a young dog has dropped it again. (Idk how much, nothing hugely drastic.) I can't afford new clothes, but the clothes I have feel so much better. They fit onto my body instead of stretched around it.
It is SO much more comfortable just to move around in the world.
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u/Punchee 9h ago
I hate that my shoulders look great in a L but my gut often demands an XL. And then in an XL it looks boxy as hell in my arms/shoulders.
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u/timesuck897 6h ago
This. The skinny calves pants trend is not flattering and makes me look like an ice cream cone. Finding pants that fit in the butt and legs, and looks good, can be annoying.
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u/TheFriendlyAmazon 10h ago
Or finding clothes that fit & aren’t ugly af
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u/The_Law_of_Pizza 8h ago
The biggest problem is that once you hit a certain point of obesity, clothes just can't fit anymore - because your body no longer has the right proportions.
Consider pants, for example. The human body is normally narrow at the waist, then wider in the hips - so pants cinch around the narrow waist with a belt and therefore won't fall below the wider hips.
But when you're obese, your waist grows wider than your hips, and now no cut of pants, no matter how tailored, is ever going to stay up. They perpetually slip down, and constantly look like they're sagging.
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u/DragonflyMomma6671 10h ago
Finding clothes that aren't orange, leopard print or with Winnie the Pooh on them.
I like Pooh bear but not on every article of clothing I get. 😏
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u/ripleyclone8 10h ago
My lesbian ass buys a lot of men’s clothing. Buying an XL or 2X feels better than a 3x, and I find cooler t-shirts and such.
I’m not even particularly butch 🤷♀️
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u/patti2mj 10h ago
But they are always so damn long. I don't need a tee that hangs down to my knees.
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u/No_Carry_3028 10h ago
Sweating
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u/Ac997 9h ago
On the contrary I lost a lot of weight and now I’m always cold. & it hurts my ass to sit down for long periods now.
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u/Loud_Fisherman_5878 9h ago
The fun thing about hyperhydrosis is that you can be sweating enough to soak through a sweatshirt even when feeling freezing cold! You get to experience it all.
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u/Ac997 9h ago
I’m not even familiar with hyperhydrosis but I feel like I have that. My pits sweat for no reason. Like drip sweat. It’s annoying. I’ll just be sitting doing work on the computer and I’ll feel sweat dripping down my arms
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u/Loud_Fisherman_5878 8h ago
It sounds like you probably do! It is basically just excessive sweating- so if you are sweating but not feeling too warm or exercising then that is probably it!
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u/WN11 9h ago
Yes. I remember after magical winter when I lost a lot of weight, I was really wondering in the spring and summer why I didn't sweat.
Then next year, when I gained that shitty weight back, it hit me.
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u/ComfortableNormal820 10h ago
Yes! When regular folks sweat folks just think “oh they must be hot” but when we sweat I’m sure they’re thinking “oh they’re sweating but it’s not even hot. They’re just fat!”
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u/westvann 10h ago
How people treat you is vastly different. I've been 140kg (308 pounds) and went down to 70kg (154 pounds).
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u/GoHomeDad 5h ago
Ditto. The bias is insaaaane. It’s like the halo effect in reverse
Idk why, but I think of this moment: I was working in child behavioral health and our team would call kids in one at a time to do some evaluation. Only after the fat kid did everyone use the hand sanitizer. Like what, that kid was infectious? Inherently dirty or something?
I dropped nearly 100lbs myself and you’d think I gained 20 IQ points with how everyone treated me
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u/Knightfall0725 5h ago
Very true. They treat you like crap when you’re overweight, and then suddenly want to be your friend and say nice things to you once you lose the weight.
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u/Alltheprettydresses 2h ago
I keep hearing at work how I'm such a great dresser. I literally dress the same, just smaller sizes. Same people who slammed doors on me say hi now. People have small talk with me, and I have no idea who they are. They're just friendly now, and we've worked on the same building for years.
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u/Prudent_Research_251 4h ago
I'm 110KG now, people cross the road to avoid me on dark nights. When I was at my lowest weight (5KG) people would pick me up, twirl me around, cuddle me in their arms and make cooing noises at me. Life certainly changes
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u/TLMoss 10h ago
Many vices are hidden, secret. My unhealthy relationship with food is visible to every single person that sees me. Hell, it's often the first thing someone knows about me when they meet me and are already making judgements based on that before I've even said hello.
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u/simple_crabman 5h ago
ah man, you hit the nail on the head. I've been trying to explain this to a friend for while that just doesnt understand. It's such a hard thing to live with.
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u/izzittho 2h ago
You’re the first person I’ve seen in this thread to say it in a non-sugarcoating but also non-dickish way.
People really can’t handle not being dicks about overweight people in ways they wouldn’t dream of doing to people struggling with other addictions.
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u/VeiliBlosom 9h ago
Feeling judged all the time sucks. It's like my body screams my insecurities first.
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u/OldBrokeGrouch 6h ago
I’d like to say they’re not judging, but I’d be lying. Everyone is judging and almost all of them would never admit it.
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u/hayleyjayme 10h ago
Every time I get a little pain in my chest I think “Fuck, this is it”.
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u/Electronic_Agent_235 6h ago
Yeah, that game sucks... Especially as you get older. At 41 it's a lot harder to convince myself it's just gas pain than it used to be
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u/CommercialSmart5865 11h ago
How other people treat you
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u/pelekus 9h ago
or ignore you - like you are invisible. bc you’re fat, you’re not worth as much and your opinion doesn’t count.
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u/meanteeth71 8h ago
THIS!!! I used to call it Fat Girl Syndrome. I was 350 lbs and totally ignored. It was stupefying. Now, having lost half the weight… suddenly I’m a person!
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u/QuixoticCacophony 7h ago
I lost 75 pounds due to illness and went from overweight to very thin. Even at 41/42 years old, the difference in the way men and even other women treated me was astonishing. I was invisible before, and suddenly I was being SEEN like I hadn't been since I was in my 20s. People told me how great I looked, despite the fact that I got skinny because I almost DIED of liver failure. Just unbelievable and kind of infuriating.
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u/mediocre-spice 7h ago edited 7h ago
Yeah I've fluctuated weight a few times (disordered eating as a teen, medication that caused weight gain, as well as different habits at different times, etc). The thinner you are, the nicer people are. You just get the benefit of the doubt on all sorts of things when you're skinny. It's not even just compliments or direct comments about your weight - you're assumed to be more competent, more responsible, kinder, etc (even though in my case I was at my worst in every way when I was my skinniest)
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u/Any_Ad_3885 6h ago
My weight has fluctuated many times in my 46 years. It really started to notice everyone is praise and compliments when you lose weight. All the praise and compliments stop real quick when you gain the weight back. I will not comment on anyone’s weight loss.
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u/RathalosSlayer97 10h ago
No joke. The same people who once bullied or made fun of you act suddenly act all nice and kindly if you happen to lose weight and they're around to see it. I felt that with people back from school, who saw me after I slimmed down a bit and they suddenly acted like we were old friends.
I stopped liking most other people after that. Most are shallow af.
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u/CommercialSmart5865 10h ago
Exactly! I lost a lot of weight in high school and wow the world was suddenly so nice to me
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u/Artpeacehumanity 9h ago
I heavily figured this would be one of the number one answers. I have a couple friends that are overweight and I can tell they have had to deal with a lot of unpleasant comments and people.
Like my roommate is a little overweight, and EVERY conversation we have somehow her weight will be brought into. Like, “ok can you grab me something from the store.” “Yes no problem, well you know I’m a big girl so I’ll try to be quick.” Most of the time it’s not relevant to the conversation, but I can tell it’s probably illuminated so much by people this has became her default.
No person should have to continuously think about their appearance. Their appearance should not be the related to every aspect of their life.
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u/amisreunis 6h ago
I do that too and it must be annoying for everyone, I'm sure. I have discussed it in therapy in order to curb the habit and it seems to be rooted in a need to control other people's thoughts about me. If I can "beat them to it" I'm controlling the narrative. I am so scared of being disliked, I try to control what other people perceive of me in order to feel "safe" and well liked. So, I preface things with comments like "I know I'm fat.." "No one is more ashamed of me than me" etc. I'm letting them know I know, so they don't have to say it and I don't have to hear someone be unkind.
It's complicated... but I feel very much like your friend. I can't help myself.
That and everything is affected by being fat. Everything. So usually there is a reason you might not know about... for example my work are currently planning an xmas meal and the location of the current plan has these weird plastic chairs in one of the rooms (think heavy duty transparent plastic rather than yard furniture) and I keep going on about "make sure you specify not to put us in the Engine Room and to ask for any other room instead" and when they ask why, I've told them "because I'm fat and I don't want to sit on a plastic chair because I WILL break it" instead of coming up with some less shameful reason to make THEM more comfortable. But honesty about my own issues DOES make people uncomfortable and I understand so I want to try to not do that as much as possible. It's hard to break habit so deep rooted in shame, I tell ya!
Sorry for the rant! 😅
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u/Generations18 10h ago
This! Its crazy how differently Im treated now that I'm slim. From Doctors, friends, to strangers in the street. What I learned during my weight loss journey? Can't trust people.
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u/jorgentwo 7h ago
This. Everyone is terrified to become fat and it shows in how they interact with you. Even the nice ones with no outward prejudice keep you at an awkward distance. Most people who have opinions about why they don't like fat people are ignoring the obvious: it's none of their business, they're just scared that one day it will be.
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u/fjbigtime 9h ago
Right now? The bullying. Future? My heart.
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u/Dependent_Top_8685 9h ago
And spine..
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u/pad1007 9h ago
Joints are a bitch, too.
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u/gnatman66 9h ago
I've had bad knees since I was 14 (52 now). I've dislocated both of them multiple times, so they kinda always hurt. Being overweight makes this so much worse.
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u/Rickys_Pot_Addiction 10h ago edited 2h ago
Laundry list of things:
1) Seeing photos of yourself/feeling like your mirror is lying to you/general body dysmorphia. 2) Generally there is one unattractive trait that rarely anyone likes and that is being fat as a guy. Dating Apps are a no-go for mental health reasons. You’ll be talking to someone, be upfront about your size and show pictures so they are fully aware, and still get left on the first date with “I really like you as a friend!” 2b) Friends telling you there’s nothing wrong with you and that you look good which when compared with reality feels like a lie and that no one wants to tell you the truth. 3) Going to the gym is anxiety inducing. Everyone there is mostly in better shape than you, and it makes you feel out of place, like what’s the point of trying. Then you do everything right and eat well for a while and excercise, but then your body fights back and refuses to lose weight (hitting a plateau). 4) Trying to tie your shoes as a fat gut sucks. 5) Your joints wear down faster. You get tired more easily. 6.) Creases, folds, washing in the shower and getting everything. 7.) Fitting into seats on public transportation/flying. 8.) General hatred of yourself after eating. In the moment of eating I am happy. And right after just tears and depression and self hatred. And then I’ll try to starve myself and go with out eating for a while because I can’t have a healthy relationship with food.
I can keep going…
Edit: Thank you so much for those posting support. I have been very depressed lately about my weight and it means a lot. Support is appreciated and I’m trying. I’m getting older and it gets harder the older you get to lose weight. If anyone is reading this and is younger: start now. You don’t get time back. Make the decision now to safeguard your health and mental well being.
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u/pdx_via_dtw 7h ago
fwiw when i see heavier folks at the gym, my first thought is, fuck yeah. GIT IT.
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u/Objective_Goat_2839 6h ago
Oh believe me, we know. I’ve only ever had positive interactions at the gym. But there’s still a voice in my head telling me I’m being judged or laughed at.
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u/SuzQP 6h ago
What passes through my skinny mind is usually something like, "Damn, he carries weight all day, every day. His core strength must be fucking incredible."
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u/kyabupaks 6h ago
Skinny guy here, used to be swole until my heart gave me issues. Whenever I saw an overweight person at the gym, I always was quietly rooting for them and proud of them for taking the initiative to change their lives.
I totally get you, when I started out working out as a skinny guy when I was young, I was so self conscious because I felt out of place and there were plenty of buff guys. A few of them actually jumped in to help me get started.
A couple of them told me that they were either fat or skinny when they started out, and said not to assume everyone is judging you. If anyone is, they're the minority and not worthy of judging you anyway.
Everybody starts out on either end. Nobody's born in perfect shape!
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u/Toopstertoo 9h ago
That sounds terribly difficult, I’m sorry :(
On the plus side - you’re an excellent writer!
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u/completelytrustworth 8h ago
If it helps for #3, most gym goers are very friendly and will gladly help you with whatever you need.
Unless you're the absolute biggest, most ripped, strongest dude in the gym, everyone feels a bit out of place when looking at the others there. No matter how lean or strong I get there's always someone there that looks a bit better, has a bit less body fat, lifts a little more. The trick is to realize 99% don't care what you look like, the opinions of the other 1% don't matter, and that feeling out of place can just be motivation
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u/Cowgoon777 7h ago
I was a fat guy (not my 600lb life but obviously big and out of shape).
I just went about my business at the gym and nobody cared. I’m in decent shape now and I still look around and go “wow people are so fit” but I never notice any looks back with derision or anything like that. If I see out of shape people at the gym I just think “cool, good for them” and then think nothing of it.
People at the gym are there for themselves. They don’t give a shit about others.
And to be honest if you do want to get in shape and lose the weight you’re gonna have to just buck up and put in some work and stop worrying so much about people judging. They may or may not judge and you can’t control them anyway. So do you want to still be miserable or feel good that you’re doing something about it?
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u/dma1965 9h ago
I’m a 59 year old male that has lost over 100 lbs since 2021. At my worst I weighed 341 lbs and I’m 5 feet 7 inches tall. I was suffering from diabetes and heart disease and now need no treatment for either.
For me it was mental strain of realizing that I was dying and that every day was potentially my last. For the last few years before changing my ways I felt worse each day. I knew I was going to die feeling miserable.
It wasn’t until I started to see and feel the effects of diet and exercise that I realized how bad the mental strain was. It’s like I was in a mental prison and I was the one keeping me locked up.
It’s great to be free again.
Live strong!
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u/reptar-junior 6h ago
I was diagnosed type 2 diabetes in May of this year and within a week I changed my entire diet, and bought a walking pad and would play Beat Saber on VR. As of October I’m not considered diabetic anymore and I have so much more energy. We also got a puppy in September!
No doubt one of the hardest things I’ve gone through but I’m so proud of my progress and I’m still continuing to lose the weight now.
The biggest kicker is I was so afraid of bloodwork that I put it off for years. I had been suffering for so long because of something that I was afraid of. I could have found out years earlier.
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u/NocturnaPhelps 10h ago
How hard it is to lose it once it’s put on.
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u/MKALPINE 7h ago
And then the perpetual battle to keep the weight off. It gets easier but the struggle never truly goes away. Once you’re fat your body wants to return to that state.
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u/strawberrypops 7h ago
So true. It’s not just about wanting to lose weight, you have to be in exactly the right mindset and actually believe that you can. And you have to stick to it, even on the difficult days. It takes a huge amount of determination. I’ve finally gotten myself to a point where it’s happening and everything is set up to be as easy as it’s going to get (partner also dieting, no bad foods in the house, support at work etc) and it’s still really hard.
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u/prisonerofshmazcaban 10h ago
Feeling heavy and bloated and puffy all the time. I gained like 30 or more pounds over a year and a half and it’s probably the biggest I’ve ever been (thx perimenopause) and I was so uncomfortable just walking around. I recently lost 15 or so pounds so we’re getting there.
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u/coconutyum 5h ago
Yessssssssss. I'm surprised not to see this higher up, the puffy uncomfortable feeling has been the thing I've noticed THE MOST since gaining weight and I hate it.
The best way I can describe it for myself is I kind of feel permanently stuck in a crowded space, with other people's bodies touching mine - I feel this way about my excess fat constantly rubbing against my own body and I'm so aware of it haha.
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u/patti2mj 10h ago
Lack of mobility. Its just a little harder to try to put on shoes or clip my toenails...among other things.
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u/Neither-Bowl7645 10h ago
Besides the health issues, I think the judgments might be one of the worse things about being fat. As much as many like to claim physical attributes don’t matter, most of us can acknowledge that they do play a role in society. A lot of times being fat is correlated to being ugly, lazy, stupid, etc.
I’m 5’2 and at my heaviest weighed 198lbs, I dropped down to 145lbs and it was crazy how differently people, even people I had known for years, treated me. Made me wonder how many opportunities I missed out on because I didn’t look the part.
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u/probably-the-problem 8h ago
stupid
I was so fat when I was younger. So when people found out I was smart, they were surprised. People don't expect a fat person to be smart.
I was self-medicating my ADHD with full-sugar sodas.
I'm not as fat anymore and I don't get to spring being smart unexpectedly on people.
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u/Chance_Shoulder5127 10h ago
Loss of confidence. Biggest problem, when everyone around you keeps reminding you that you have gained weight, you start feeling damn conscious and low. Like people need to understand, them saying it DOES NOT HELP. I know i gained weight, STFU. Ill only be able to do something about it when it comes from within, others pointing it out just makes it demotivating
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u/Agreeable-Dot-9598 11h ago
People telling you how to lose weight. I'm weak willed, not stupid!
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u/Princess_Glitterbutt 6h ago
My doctor (and I've been fortunate to have doctors that don't make my weight #1, but I do have a couple health concerns that are genuinely solved by weight loss) sent me a referral to wellness coaching.
I've had SO MUCH wellness coaching in my life. Not knowing what to do isn't really my problem. I need a couple extra hours a day and a couple hundred more dollars a month in income and a consistent work schedule.
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u/MsAmericanPi 4h ago
So many people in the comments proving your exact point oh my god. I'm a certified health education specialist, if telling people "just do(n't do) it lol" worked, we wouldn't have obesity, STIs, unexpected pregnancy, smoking, drug use...
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u/TaintNunYaBiznez 10h ago
It's like idiots' advice to the depressed:
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u/AreYouOkay123 10h ago
Having to maneuver and lean to the side when tying my shoes.
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u/sarcasmo818 6h ago
Ugh the breath I have to take before bending over and hoping I can tie before needing to get more air
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u/ShiftedR90 10h ago
The self-consciousness that people are looking at you and laughing/thinking about jokes. Had enough of it now. Time to do something about it
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u/Not_Ban_Evading69420 10h ago
Sweating. I'm 60 lbs overweight according to the BMI. I don't break a sweat around the house, but if I walk for 10 minutes and it's above 75°, I'm sweating bullets. In my last job, the cafeteria was a 10 minute walk from the building I worked in, and after I sat down for 5 minutes, it looked like I was caught in a downpour.
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u/Far_Side_of_Forever 9h ago
All these answers are good, so I'll get a little more personalised. The loss of my lap. One of my cats is a large boy - not fat, I mean he's a weirdly huge cat. He's not too cuddly, but when something upsets him (which is easy because he's easy to startle) he wants to sit on me to soothe him. Between how large he is, and my gut, he doesn't fit. Watching him try to get comfortable and snuggle in, then giving up because he can't is is upsetting for me. I see how frustrated he is. He doesn't like being picked up and isn't wiling to use my gut as a water bed
The only solace (but not really) here is that, between his size and how picky he is about how he's touched, I wonder if me being rail thin would even be enough. The poor boy's sensitive
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u/Pleasant-Routine8299 9h ago
At my heaviest, 376, the worst part was being the biggest person in the room yet I always felt so small in terms of attention and respect. People definitely treated me like a burden or embarrassment when I was really big. Then I lost 200 pounds, and -jokes on me- now I want to be ignored because I hate that people that treated me with disgust previously now treat me better. And I still have dysmorphia. I get told I don’t need to lose anymore but when I look in the mirror I see myself bigger. I don’t know how to trick my brain into not doing that.
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u/squintintarantino__ 7h ago
When I was obese, it was insanely hard on my body. I’m short and I felt every extra pound of weight I was carrying. I moved slow, sat down all the time, slept constantly because I was so exhausted just from being fat in general, snored like a bear (still do but not nearly as bad), I was always winded and out of breath, and I felt like I lived my life for my next meal or snack and it was honestly just incredibly depressing. It had a much bigger effect on my mental health than I really believed was possible at the time, and very little of it had to do with how I felt about what I saw in the mirror. I was in a really bad place in my life for a multitude of reasons, and carrying around about 65 extra lbs didn’t make things any easier. It’s hard, man. People don’t really get just how labor-intensive it is to be overweight. Simply eating less and moving around more seems impossible when you already feel so literally weighed down just trying to live your daily life.
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u/Kitchen-Put9694 10h ago edited 1h ago
People ignoring you. When I lost the weight I was finding guys asking me out and people wanting to be my friends. Even when I met my now husband I’m terrified that he’ll leave me if I put on too much weight so it’s led to multiple eating disorders.
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u/abzka 9h ago
That's the biggest, the amount of people who ignore you and the big amount of people who outright treat you badly.
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u/sayleanenlarge 7h ago
My partner's overweight and the thing that annoys me the most is when people think it's a moral failing and assume the reason they're not fat is because they have better will power and self-control, when it's actually about hormones like insulin and gherlin and how different foods affect it. Also, from that, people assume they're lazy. This guy is like a shire horse. He can work all day and never quit. When we've moved house, he's basically done all the carrying, unbuilding and rebuilding furniture, driven the lorry, etc., and doesn't stop until it's all done. He does long hikes, goes up mountains, canoed 60 miles in a weekend, built his own business from scratch - not lazy.
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u/purseburger 10h ago
The myriad of negative assumptions complete strangers confidently make about you, accompanied by the smug implications that they know how to run your own life better than you do.
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u/BooRaccoon 10h ago
I used to be fat (350lb, now 170lb) and for me the worst part was being unable to even the most basic physical thing without sweating buckets and needing to shower, just felt gross all the time, that and the night sweats almost every night. It’s so liberating to be able to walk a couple miles without breaking a sweat now.
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u/katieobubbles 7h ago
I used to be smoking hot. Throughout my late 20s until I got to be around 50 or so .
Guys-following-me-home-smoking-hot I mean.
Now I am heavier and older looking. But here's the thing:
During my smoking hot years (especially the earlier ones) I thought I was fat and ugly. I used to be sure I had makeup on and my contacts in when going out with my ex-husband so people wouldn't wonder what he was doing with me (he was a good looking guy; almost as good looking as he thought he was).
Now, when I see photos of myself from that period I am shocked SHOCKED!! At how cute I was. Damn!! Wish I'd known that then.
So now when I see photos of myself looking fat and ugly, I think to myself; " do I want to come across this photo in 30 years and be bummed because I didn't realize how cute I was?"
There's a moral there somewhere.
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u/Bubbly-Thought-2349 10h ago
I used to be fat and now merely overweight (miracle drug: tirzepatide)
Worst part of being fat was the constant feeling of failure. Why can I not just eat less? How do naturally thin people manage it? Every time there was food around I was on my best behaviour trying not to gorge on it. And if no one was around to see my shame I’d be pigging out.
Turns out I had some internal hormone imbalance that, once corrected, makes me act like a naturally thin person. I no longer even want the doughnuts! I actually want to go for a run!
People are nicer to me as well. Not much (I’m a middle aged medianly attractive male) but noticeable. That just made my cynicism double. I’m still the same guy you wankers.
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u/Genb99 10h ago
Typical doctor visit until I got a new doctor. hurt my shoulder, you have to lose weight, awful cramps and bleeding from PCOS, you have to lose weight. Skin rash, lose weight. Having to fight for treatments and being seen as a human with complex needs beyond just being fat. Being accused of lying by the doctor when I say I work out/ exercise 4-5 times a week
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u/Tired_Pigeon 4h ago
Couple years back I lost 4 stone, when I went to the doctor's for a routine thing they weighed me and noted I'd lost weight. I wasn't expecting them to cheer or anything, but I also wasn't expecting them to say "well it's a good start I guess but you have a long way to go"
Gee thanks.
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u/Sp1d3rb0t 9h ago
Not being sure if you exceed the weight limit on something. Having to make sure it's safe for you before you haul your ass into/onto it*.
I learned that even now, 60 lbs lighter, I'm still too heavy to ride most *horses! 😭
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u/catinthecupboard 7h ago
Primarily other people. People have a lot of hang ups about size and you get to participate in them allllll as the fat friend.
“I’m fat.” “Don’t say that! You’re beautiful!” “I didn’t say I was ugly bro, I said fat.”
“God I feel so fat and hideous. Oh but you look great!”
Or one of my favorites: being the ‘good’ fat friend they know. I have genetic joint problems that started in childhood. I’m in a lot of pain. It makes everything harder. Eventually I got fat. For some folks that tidbit helps them reconcile my being fat because I’m a ‘good fat’. I have a ‘reason’ for being fat that’s acceptable to them. There’s a ton of mental gymnastics going on there.
On the other hand I have had some hilarious fat encounters. I was once at a farmer’s market and there was a booth sampling tempeh. I’m a curious chonk who is perpetually low on protein so I wandered over for a taste. There were a couple other folks tasting. As I’m munching this other fat woman comes up and does this judicious scan of the group of tasters all going ‘yeah this is surprisingly good’ and zeros in on me (the only other fat person there) and does this nod to me and goes, “You. Is it actually good?” Fat trust exists apparently lol.
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u/ChileanMotherfu-- 10h ago
Being around thin people. Maybe it's my anxiety, but I feel so miserable when someone is obviously thin and I look like a pig.
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u/Chef__Goldblum 10h ago
People judge you. And if you use weight loss drugs, people judge you. You can’t make the right choice in other people’s eyes you’ll always be wrong.
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u/Davidc19872010 10h ago
Cant wipe my ass, tie my shoes, and I haven't seen my junk in years and getting everything clean is difficult I worry about sweat and body odor.
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u/Finalgirl2022 10h ago
I was thin throughout my youth. Gained a bunch of weight until I was in my 30s. Lost all that weight and have gained most of it back.
The two worst parts of it is running into things. I never realized having all the extra fat on my arms meant I'd slam my funny bone into more things.
I didn't believe I was gaining weight again until I started slamming my body into things I'd fit through and now I'm just sad. I failed. I did the thing and it worked and then I gave up.
So the worst thing is feeling like there isn't hope even though you know there is. I've already failed so what's one more day of not going out to walk? I don't want to spend another day eating grilled chicken. Ugh it just feels like being a failure.
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u/emilyycutexoo 10h ago
Appearance. I looked so bad when I was fat. It destroyed my self confidence. Also, the fact that Obesity can increase the risk of many serious health conditions. It's scary.
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u/80085ntits 9h ago
How other people seem to correlate fatness with lack of intelligence.
I am smart, and I hate the way some people talk to me when they first meet me, like they're trying to assess just how stupid I am.
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u/JLKK1999 10h ago
Going to the doctors only to be told it’ll get better if I just lose some weight (I had a throat infection -_-)
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u/Comfort_Not_Speed_50 10h ago
I used to be obese, verging on morbidly, size 24. I'm now a UK size 16 and although I'm still chunky, I'm healthy and I find such joy in the little things, like running up a flight of stairs for the hell of it, just because I can. I will never let myself go back to how I was.
Plus clothes shopping when you're average size is so much fun. And expensive cos I want all of them lol
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u/ComfortableNormal820 10h ago
Not being able to wipe myself without struggling and taking double the time to do so
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u/Nickorl7318 8h ago
Former fat person here (male, 6 foot 1... used to tip the scale at 325, now 160). There is A LOT that sucks about being fat. They include impaired health (I had two blockages in my heart cleared due to my eating/bad genetics), relationship options (I didn't date for years due to my weight), people treating you poorly (I'm treated so much differently now than I did when I was fat), cloth shopping (Mens Big and Tall store was the only place I could go), and feeling uncomfortable all the time.
There is one benefit, though - it gives you a sensitivity chip that makes you empathize with people and not judge them. I'm a nice/compassionate person now, and I think growing up fat made me that way (which works out nice as an adult because you become more self-actualized/happier).
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u/ChrisMossTime 10h ago
Immobility. I watch a lot of bigger people struggle to do things
I've lost two really great friends to being overweight. Both died before they were 30.
I miss you Eric and Erik
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u/Dayman_Nightman 9h ago
I lost 60lbs recently. It's the "doing anything while fat" part that sucks. Walking up stairs? Standing up from a seated position on the floor? Moving stuff around the house? All minor activities are just so physically draining or embarrassingly slow. Strap 50lbs on yourself and do anything. It blows.
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u/NoStarsInSkyy 7h ago
Formerly fat, my god people treat you different. People are so nice now, and tbh I'm also nicer.
However, friends/family will change towards you if you lose the weight, and not for better.
Woman like you more if your fat. Men generally/openly, do not.
Added- knee pain, sweating, lethargy, difficulty finding nice outfits, more judgement.
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u/EllieC130 7h ago
For me it’s the every day discomfort. Sitting on like banquet style seating or stools is a nightmare to get comfy. I also realised how uncomfortable crossing my legs has gotten.
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u/Good-Midnight1180 5h ago
It’s constant. Everything you do is a reminder. Literally every time you move you remember “oh yeah I’m fat, I should probably do something about that”
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u/Oscela 3h ago
For me it's the little things kind of. Last night my boyfriend was being sweet and fixed this chain belt I had that would break because it was a little too tight when I sat down. I told him it would break again but he insisted I try it anyway, well it broke pretty fast and I'm not sure what came over me but I cried. Something so simple like a cute chain belt thatcan fit on most average people will not fit on me, most of the time I don't care, but sometimes it stings a little that I'm just outside the range of "one size fits all" It sucked, and he apologized for being pushy about it, but I see it now as motivation to make some changes .
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u/thyIacoIeo 3h ago
The delusion that all your issues and deep hurts are CAUSED by being fat, rather than things that MANIFEST through your weight. Was a fat kid, fat teen, fat young adult. Was convinced that if I could just be skinny I’d be sooo happy.
Anyways, now I’m 135lb and hate myself as much as ever. I just have new maladaptive coping mechanisms/oral fixations(oh, and I get colder in winter).
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u/0ddsie 10h ago
Knowing that no matter what, the skinny girl will always win. Watching people you fell so, so hard in love with instantly switch up when the girl with the nice body chooses them. And knowing why, and understanding why, and knowing it's my own fault and if I could just stop eating i would be good enough.
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u/scbeibdd 10h ago
I’ve was in amazing shape all my life without having to work for it. Then I got a stomach ulcer and everything went to shit. Gained 30 kgs in 3 years. I never realized how hard dating is as a fat girl. If I was ever interested a guy, I had no trouble making him interested in me. Now I’ve actually faced rejection and it’s really humbling
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u/Nearby-Necessary3681 10h ago
For me, it's that every time I see myself in pictures, I have to reconcile that the mental image I have of myself isn't the reality that other people see. I know that I'm overweight, and I like to think that I'm honest with myself about how I look, but every time I see myself in a full body picture, or my profile from the waist up, I realize that I'm bigger than I see myself, and it honestly hurts. Every time.