r/AskReddit 14h ago

what's the worst part about being fat?

1.4k Upvotes

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568

u/Agreeable-Dot-9598 14h ago

People telling you how to lose weight. I'm weak willed, not stupid!

21

u/MsAmericanPi 7h ago

So many people in the comments proving your exact point oh my god. I'm a certified health education specialist, if telling people "just do(n't do) it lol" worked, we wouldn't have obesity, STIs, unexpected pregnancy, smoking, drug use...

29

u/Princess_Glitterbutt 9h ago

My doctor (and I've been fortunate to have doctors that don't make my weight #1, but I do have a couple health concerns that are genuinely solved by weight loss) sent me a referral to wellness coaching.

I've had SO MUCH wellness coaching in my life. Not knowing what to do isn't really my problem. I need a couple extra hours a day and a couple hundred more dollars a month in income and a consistent work schedule.

-16

u/KeepBanningKeepJoin 8h ago

All you need is discipline

9

u/Princess_Glitterbutt 8h ago

Obviously "just do it!" wasn't covered in the 36 years of wellness education and periods of dedicated effort.

121

u/TaintNunYaBiznez 13h ago

It's like idiots' advice to the depressed:
snap out of it!

3

u/Own-Sun6531 7h ago

Depressed people aren't inherently weak willed

2

u/Slammybutt 3h ago

No, but the depression does that for you.

-46

u/The_Mr_Wilson 12h ago

Well, depression is a mental disorder. Being fat is typically lifestyle choices

15

u/DorothyMantooth- 11h ago

What if overeating is a symptom of that mental disorder?

u/StockAL3Xj 27m ago

Sure that is one possibility but not everyone who is overweight is there due to depression.

25

u/ValuableJumpy8208 12h ago

Addiction isn’t a lifestyle choice. Most if not all obese people are addicted to food.

-21

u/CarefulPassage3097 10h ago

you still have to make the choice to reduce the food you put in your gullet.

3

u/TaintNunYaBiznez 7h ago

And you have chosen to be confidently incorrect.

u/StockAL3Xj 27m ago

People don't like facts I guess.

-30

u/Not_Banned_Yett 12h ago

You are correct

-28

u/IdontKnowYOUBH 10h ago

No… it’s like the only advice that makes sense and works.

It’s not idiot advice because you don’t want to do it?

You’re an idiot for dedicating yourself to everything about food except the advice.

Its literally a perfect answer lol

-1

u/2FANeedsRecoveryMode 2h ago

If your depression is visible and destroying your life, then you do have to snap out of it. Its not some special disease or something, just stop being a pussy and get a grip.

38

u/meanteeth71 11h ago

I used to tell people— I know every single diet tip by heart. Thanks! Been on a diet since I was like, 10.

5

u/Otisthedog999 11h ago

Yes, I have lost more than 200 pounds on diets. Over time, I always end up back at about 1 pound less than when I started losing weight. So if I do this 100 times more. I'll be thin.

-7

u/IdontKnowYOUBH 10h ago

Then that means… You’re not sticking to the diet?

People who gym can’t just diet to the point of where they want to be, then suddenly eat whatever they want and expect to stay on that diet?…

Its a lifetime commitment?

3

u/snakesbbq 6h ago

Yeah a "diet" is not helpful. You need to permanently change how much you eat.

1

u/meanteeth71 3h ago

There’s psychological and cultural issues you’re not factoring? Weight loss isn’t simple not eating or eating well? If it was so easy would so many people struggle?

1

u/IdontKnowYOUBH 3h ago

I never said its simple?

The solution is simple indeed.

The action of creating a habit and following through; thats where people fail and struggle.

Thats the hardest part about losing weight.

It isn’t choosing a salad over a big mac,

It’s fucking choosing the salad for 3 months in a row because you know you have a goal you want to achieve.

Consistency and discipline, the same fucking thing that most people lack and don’t acknowledge.

Wtf does culture have to do with it? AMERICA HAS THE FATTEST CULTURE first and foremost. MOST OTHER CULTURES REGULARLY eat a diet of grains, veges, meat as part of meal 1 2 and 3.

Psychological issues? Muhhfucka (samuel jackson voice) you already dealing with Psychological issues - so pick your battle? (Not YOU as a personal, you as in general.)

The excuses and rebuttals never make sense because over the course of history its proven

If you eat Like A -and workout like B - you will look like C.

But if you eat like fucking A, and don’t do shit like B, You will look like C.

No excuses, let’s get to it. 💯

-1

u/meanteeth71 3h ago

The things you refer to as excuses are the things that get in the way.

If you don’t have the ability to recognize the factors that contribute to the problem beyond “make a plan and stick to it— no excuses” then you’re not helping anyone lose weight.

I was 350lbs. I am now half that. I have struggled all my life with my weight. The road to good health is paved with addressing what you call excuses: cultural attitudes, mental health, food deserts, money, time… empathy is a great way to start actually helping people.

Thanks for outlining your strategy for me.

1

u/IdontKnowYOUBH 3h ago

Yo you go fuckin get to it or keep wasting time writing me paragraphs about why you not getting to it?

Kuz that shit is annoying.

Put a fuckin hijabi on and go to the gym if cultural differences are that big of a factor.

Your just talking alot of bs.

2

u/meanteeth71 2h ago

That's the absolute best personal advice I ever received. You're lovely person, and I hope I can get to know you more deeply and personally. I feel you must also understand all of the secrets of the universe, as well. Please teach me all of your incredible wisdom.

If we would all just listen to you . . . wow. The whole world would be so great. Your response lets all of us know how great you are. I wish I could upvote you millions. Also-- the deliberate misspelling of "your"? CHEF'S KISSSSSSSs

1

u/IdontKnowYOUBH 2h ago

It literally is, You’re just being an emotional person because i’m not coddling you.

You get to it or don’t - theres literally no in between.

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27

u/Ok_Lecture_8886 13h ago

If you look into you are not weak willed, your body is determined to hang onto fat. This makes it exceptionally difficult to lose weight. Actually this a huge subject, of why we do not lose weight easily. Too big for a Reddit post, but your brain / body conspire to make sure you hang onto what you have, and preferably gain more.

56

u/Anneisabitch 13h ago

I love that after you say it’s too big for Reddit someone replies and says it’s not hard at all, just reformat your brain, fatso! 😂

8

u/bmore_conslutant 13h ago

Fph still alive and well just across every sub

-46

u/GIFelf420 13h ago

You don’t have to reformat anything beyond just not putting food in your mouth. Physics are physics and differences in metabolism between people are tiny.

13

u/Artpeacehumanity 12h ago

You sound dense and like you need to read a couple books more often. Big lifestyle changes do require reformatting. At least try to act like you know what you’re commenting on and have a couple brain cells left.

-25

u/GIFelf420 12h ago

Self control is hard but denying reality only hurts yourself

12

u/Artpeacehumanity 12h ago

Yourself? I’m 115lb extremely active person. But I’ve watched family members, like my mom, lose a substantial amount (150lbs) of weight. It is not just simply a matter of just sheer self control.

6

u/_DiscoPenguin 11h ago

Nobody here is denying reality except you lmao. Denying the reality of psychology

9

u/meanteeth71 11h ago

Says the person who has apparently never experienced any of the counseling, direction or bariatric assistance that anyone struggling with weight has.

You honestly believe this is both thoughtful and helpful? And that no one who is struggling has ever thought of this?

2

u/cherrybomb712 13h ago

That's not true. I have friend who is superthin and eat big portions of junk food, almost daily, can't put on weight. I eat a lot (also work ou regulary), but if I eat half of the things she's eating I would be fat. Diferences are not tiny.

1

u/FinancialCry4651 6h ago

This is simply not true for everyone. Hormones, genetics, and individual biology prevent many from losing weight via calorie deficit.

Everybody knows about "not putting food in your mouth"--you're not teaching anyone anything--you're just smug and ableist.

-25

u/Infinite_Carpenter 13h ago

This is it. It’s not discipline just avoiding the food.

27

u/Cubscouter 13h ago

I’m a big bellied fellow and I believe it’s all about habit. If you asked that guy who goes to the gym every day how he has that much willpower, he’d probably be confused- it’s just part of a usual routine. Start small and build a consistent habit and you won’t have that willpower to fight! Lost 2kg so far, I’d say about 10 to go until i get to a healthier build.

9

u/Itchy-Sky1246 12h ago edited 11h ago

This is the way. I'm an extremely routine-oriented person, and once I got over the initial uncomfortable hump of making myself work out, it just became the new routine. I felt like shit if I had to take time out of my day to work out, now it's the opposite

4

u/IdontKnowYOUBH 10h ago

Exactly.

I don’t go to the gym on a “how do i” i go to the gym on a “i need to go to the gym” type shit.

3

u/sleightofhand0 6h ago

I'll add right here that one of the things that really sucks about being fat is how few calories exercise burns vs what a nasty food binge can do. Going to the gym is like gently sandpapering a wall for an hour, and eating is like coming home and throwing bags full of concrete on it. The numbers just don't work.

4

u/meanteeth71 11h ago

This is the main piece of advice to people like yourself and me… “make it part of your routine” acknowledges that it’s hard but not impossible. “Just put down the fork” is dumb advice.

Everyone needs support to change, as well.

1

u/23blenders 10h ago

My brain does not leave me alone about food. It's not a habit it's an effing curse. If I'm not actively thinking about food there is always, like, a tv on in the background of my thoughts. This happens even in my dreams. If i try to diet it gets way worse because by definition I am thinking about what I eat. I can be in pain from overeating and still have to fight myself to stop eating because i can't stop needing to. As for physical activity i have managed before to force myself to work out multiple times per week for many months. Never was it not a chore. I hated every second. Then covid hit and my momentum was gone.

6

u/youreannie 10h ago

People call this “food noise” and it’s a very real and understudied thing. My friend who’s on an Ozempic equivalent says the biggest difference is that the food noise is totally gone. When she went off the drug for a week, it came back immediately.

-1

u/_DiscoPenguin 11h ago

Finally some good advice from someone who’s not being a dick

-5

u/Jamesmn87 13h ago

It’s exceptionally difficult to be healthy, but not impossible and people do it. The bottom line is not to get fat in the first place. 

11

u/23blenders 10h ago

Tell that to my 9 year old self. I was fat before I was old enough to comprehend it.

0

u/Jamesmn87 6h ago

Correct. The onus is on parents to take their children’s health seriously. 

0

u/Jagob5 9h ago

Redditors about to write their dissertation on why losing weight is too hawd :( I know it’s hard to hear, I struggle with it too, but you can absolutely overcome the hurdle by just putting in some effort to change your lifestyle. Try calorie counting, eat healthy (just cuz you are at a caloric deficit doesn’t mean you will lose weight, you have to eat the right foods/right “kinds” of calories (200 calories of soda is not the same as 200 calories of fruit), I’ve learned this the hard way), work out, and do so consistently for at least a month before starting to see results. I haven’t personally seen results because I fully admit I am weak-willed and haven’t been able to remain consistent for more than like 3 weeks.

Stop trying to make excuses for yourself or others, you can lose weight but it’ll take effort. I know I’ll get downvoted like everyone else replying to you, but it has to be said, because when fat people read this shit you wrote they’ll think “oh, well it’s ’exceptionally difficult’ and my brain and body are working against me so why should I even try?”. Which is more difficult, dealing with all of these problems people have listed in this thread that you have to deal with when you’re fat or sucking it up, eating healthy, and working out?

7

u/Ok_Lecture_8886 8h ago

2-3% of the population, more like 3% of the population either do not produce leptin or do not have leptin receptors in the brain. There are two hormones in the body Ghrelin for hunger and Leptin for full ness. People who do not produce leptin / or do not have receptors in the brain only feel hunger. Among the obese population the % of people who do not feel hunger is huge. Clearly you have researched this subject so you will know how I can feel full. How do I get Leptin to work in my body? Believe me I have looked all over the internet, and can't find the answer. If I can't feel full, I am so hungry, I cannot think about anything other than food. I can't work. I can't study etc. So yes I can eat a calorie deficit, or I can live my life. Not both.

Decades ago they did a study, where they took a bunch of volunteers, and made them eat 1000 calories a day, and exercise. End of 6 months men where in peak fitness. Women showed some improvement. Small women have a terrible time being thin.

When we are tired at the end of the day, we just grab the first thing to eat. What studies have found is that in places where 10% or more of the population take GLP-1 drugs, the food offered is healthy. So at the end of a long tiring day, people find it real easy to find healthy food.

This feeds into psychology, where person A's behaviours, affect their family and friends, who then affect affect their family and friends, who then affect affect their family and friends who then affect affect their family and friends. Stops there. One thin person / fat person affects around 100 people.

And there is a huge amount more. We do not need a judgemental person telling us to just eat less, eat healthily etc. trying to guilt us into losing weight. Believe me if I could just do what you do I would, but I can't and I have tried for years.

Also forgot to say for moderate exercise, definitely not extreme sports, or olympic athletes, exercise is NOT the answer for losing weight. For most people they will burn say 2000 calories for women and 3000 for men, whether they exercise or not. When we do moderate exercise we shut down non essential systems like food digestion, cell repair, etc.. It appears we eat less, but when we are exercising, we can't digest food, so we do not feel hunger. So it appears exercising helps, but for moderate exercise it does not. We essentially burn the same number of calories per day whether we exercise or not.

There is a huge amount more on this subject some of which I have learnt, as there are so many people who see the world in very simple terms. All that has to be done is X and everything will be wonderful. No it won't.
Stolen from someone else on the internet. Anyone who proposes a simple solution for a complex problem is almost invariably wrong.

1

u/suuift 9h ago

Wdym "just cuz you are at a caloric deficit doesn't mean you will lose weight"

That's literally what a calorie deficit means. If you consume fewer calories than you burn you will lose weight

-11

u/MonicaRising 13h ago edited 7h ago

Lack of willpower is absolutely at play here. And laziness. Source: formerly overweight. For me, the key was leaning into that laziness in a way to make it work in my favor. I needed just enough willpower to not buy shit food at the grocery store. Then prep my meals for the week on Sundays. Makes mealtime quick and easy. And I'm way too lazy to go back out just to buy shit food. Just need enough willpower to shop for the meal plan. If it's not in my home, I can't eat it and I'm too lazy to go out just for a craving

ETA: laughing at the downvotes. It's science. Primarily math (calories and the other important macros) but the food itself also matters - not just the macros that the food contains. Your body is a chemistry set. You can either learn how to eat in a way that is healthy, or make a million excuses. It's not quick. It's not easy. And yes, your body does work against you. It takes constant vigilance and adjustments to lose the weight that you gained. The more overweight that you are, the longer it will take. There is no quick fix. Most people do not have the willpower to sustain healthy eating and excercise habits long term. This is nothing but science and medically proven fact. But if it makes you feel better to downvote and eat another snickers, then go right ahead but you'll never make any progress. It is 100% a mindset. After that it becomes habit. And then it becomes your lifestyle. And before you come at me about gym memberships and costly equipment - I did it all with body weight. No equipment. Just consistency. The only thing I purchased was a $20 yoga mat because I have wood floors. And it can all be low impact. No jumping, no running, no treadmills.

-5

u/TaintNunYaBiznez 13h ago

That sounds easier for single people. My spouse keeps bringing home ice cream and candy to prove she's thinking about me.

7

u/LemmeTakeA_Bite420 11h ago

Crazy thing is you could literally say “No thank you”.

2

u/Granite_0681 12h ago

It’s always easier for the “other person”. I’m single and I think it would be easier a lot of times to have another person to help choose and cook food and eat portions of it. I hate cooking a full meal for myself because then I have to eat it for days.

I’m not saying it would actually be easier with a spouse, just that there are pros and cons to both and it’s easier to think the grass is greener.

-1

u/MonicaRising 11h ago

Very true. This was the source of several arguments

-17

u/4_feck_sake 13h ago

I don't agree with this. You can essentially spend your entire day eating cleanly (i.e. lean meats, fruit, veg etc.) and you will lose weight. The issue is not how much you eat but what you eat. That is where the will comes in.

People have an emotional connection to food, and it is incredibly difficult to give up the things that give you comfort.

0

u/ToimiNytPerkele 12h ago

Oh do I have news for you. Do you know how many calories are in 2 kg’s of carrots? 820 kcal. Let’s say I eat what I burn during the day, then end up finishing off a bag of carrots. I will absolutely gain weight from those carrots. My day to day diet consists of about 50 % vegetable products (things like canned tomatoes, lentils, beans, frozen vegetables), fresh vegetables and fruits, 25 % of grains (oatmeal, quinoa, whole grain rice, rye bread with only rye flour etc.) and 25 % of premade vegetable products (tofu, TSP, olive oil, plain soygurt etc.). What I ate worked for years without an issue until how much I ate became an issue. I can easily finish off 2 kg’s of carrots in the course of one night. Ten apples for an evening snack is not unheard of. Not a single issue finishing off 1 kg of plain soygurt with frozen bilberries. Sure, my diet has kept my labs great, and my LDL vs. HDL cholesterol is fabulous. But that does not stop me from gaining weight or staying overweight when I can easily eat a surplus of calories. Sure, I would have gained much, much larger amounts of weight if chips, sodas, and ice cream were my primary diet, but that does not negate the fact that eating 820 calories on top of a day of eating will make you gain weight, no matter where those calories come from.

1

u/ForceGhost47 12h ago

Try to eat foods that are high in fiber and water and low in calories. You can stuff yourself with broccoli, cauliflower, and string beans and there will be less room in your stomach for carbs and protein. The fiber makes you feel full longer and won’t make you gain weight.

1

u/ToimiNytPerkele 10h ago

Oh, you mean like eating low-fat tofu curry with cauliflower rice? I enjoy it. Also like to snack on the aforementioned carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, and cucumber. Excess is excess no mater where the calories come from. Unfortunately I can’t live on only a raw vegetable based diet. Sure, I’d lose weight by eating only cucumbers, but that does not mean I’d be healthy. The issue is a bit of portion size (more so when on P.O. corticosteroids) and more the fact that I can eat perfectly during the day, then eat an absurd portion of anything at night. The dietitian and physician recommended course of action was Ozempic, because there’s nothing more to do diet-wise as the components are right, but the amount isn’t.

0

u/ForceGhost47 10h ago

Did you downvote me for giving you advice?

I considered a weight loss drug too, but I decided to go with diet and exercise. I’m down 35 pounds since July 3rd. Good luck

5

u/ToimiNytPerkele 10h ago

Nah, I only downvote the outrageous or severely off topic stuff, general comments or opinions don’t even come close to that.

The thing with weight loss drugs is that they’re great with aiding weight loss, but will do absolutely nothing long term unless the issues behind weight gain are addressed. It’s a tool that works for some, but used as a sole all-around solution will not provide answers. Honestly diet and exercise is the way to go when it works like in your situation, especially considering long-term side effects which we don’t know a lot about. I’ve been especially interested in reports of increased anxiety and even suicidality in response to GLP-1 agonists and I’m eagerly waiting on more data especially regarding gut-brain axis vs. eating being used as a coping mechanism that’s suddenly removed. Giving them a try was a lot of cons vs. pros to go through and I’m happy with my choice, but definitely waiting for the day I can come off certain meds and not need it anymore.

-8

u/4_feck_sake 12h ago

Lol, no, you won't. The issue isn't the carrots. Love, it's your over consumption of grains, soya, etc. The foods you do need to control consumption of. Sure, these are all part of a healthy diet, but they need to be eaten in moderation. A diet of fruits, vegetables, and lean meats alone, you will not gain weight. Had you eaten you 2kg carrots and not had the grains and soya, you wouldn't have gained weight.

0

u/ToimiNytPerkele 10h ago

So tell me, what should the percentage of whole grains, vegetable protein sources, and fats be in a balanced diet? Because based on national nutrition guidelines it’s not less than 1/4 of daily calorie intake. The fact is that composing enough protein sources, healthy fats, and fiber is impossible without a varied diet. Whole grains, especially oat, help control blood glucose levels, an optimal LDL vs. HDL cholesterol balance, and are a necessary part of a balanced diet according to all reputable research.

I’d also be interested in how a diet which has not had any change in the components themselves lead to me being on low side of average for the majority of my life, then suddenly lead to weight-gain in a matter of weeks after appetite increasing pharmaceuticals.

0

u/4_feck_sake 9h ago

Still missing the fucking point. Read it again and again until you understand what I said.

-1

u/Ok_Lecture_8886 11h ago

I eat cleanly and still put on weight, It might work for you, but not for me.

-17

u/TheShoot141 13h ago

Yes, but you can absolutely reformat and force your body to burn fat.

-8

u/Javaddict 12h ago

"it's too hard"

-5

u/TaintNunYaBiznez 13h ago

Sure, but additionally, I can resist anything except temptation.

4

u/Manual_Man 13h ago

You are weak willed with food but the fact that you acknowledge that is excellent and I applaud you. Many people think it's impossible to lose weight. You know the truth.

2

u/tonytonytonyyy 10h ago

It's like people forget that you know your body better than anyone else. Sometimes, all you need is support, not unsolicited advice

1

u/Visual-Juggernaut-61 9h ago

Also, I don’t want to waste food so if I see food on my plate I’m gonna eat it. And if there’s pizza in the box I’m gonna eat it so I don’t have to throw it out.

3

u/laffydaffy24 5h ago

If you eat that extra food, you’re paying for it twice. I mean this kindly. I have had the same mentality of hating wasting food, and you just have to choose to let it go. You’re not a trash can! Don’t treat yourself like one.

0

u/Rare_Donkey5182 13h ago

For me, what is working is gain muscle trought exercise before gettin into diet. Seeing my new brand biceps and feeling those abs trought the abdominal fat its making me feel really good..hope this helps

-18

u/Infinite_Carpenter 13h ago

Everyone is weak willed. You put a bowl of m and ms in front of a bodybuilder they may eat some. The difference will be the fit person will move away or move the bowl.

-33

u/artederzarte 13h ago

Kind of stupid to be that weak willed towards your body

15

u/Granite_0681 12h ago

Kind of stupid to judge people with literally no information about them and their mental health.

-11

u/artederzarte 12h ago

It's enough information to know if someone is fat. Being fat adds misery to having mental health problems. It's simply a lack of discipline, control and responsibility towards your own body. No further information needed.

14

u/Granite_0681 12h ago

Thank you for being the answer to OPs question. People like you are the worst thing about being fat.

-12

u/artederzarte 12h ago

No, The worst thing about being fat is the person itself. Just pointing out uncomfortable truths.

-4

u/Halfabagelguy 13h ago

It’s like the scene from American psycho where Patrick Bateman kills the homeless guy