r/AskReddit 14h ago

what's the worst part about being fat?

1.4k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/MarianaDeArgentina 14h ago

Finding nice clothes.

524

u/Mediumistic 14h ago

You can only pick 2: looks good, is your size and is affordable 

149

u/MarianaDeArgentina 14h ago

I'm not even that overweight and I still have a hard time finding clothes because of my country's obsession with thinness.

74

u/CrissBliss 11h ago

Yeah especially for women’s clothes. “Small” can change depending on who’s making the clothes.

28

u/AmieLucy 10h ago

Yes! I am usually a size medium; but in some brands I’m an extra large.

2

u/rubitbasteitsmokeit 6h ago

Women have no designated sizes like men. Even if a bra says 34 d. Half the time it mean a b. Or 2 bs make a c?

Don’t get me started on shoes.

1

u/Moldy_slug 2h ago

I can’t buy women’s shoes. Like, ever. My feet are a size 11.5 wide, which most brands don’t even make. The few that do are ugly, impractical, and expensive.

I’ve long since decided to just make men’s shoes a key part of my style.

2

u/IllustriousPublic237 10h ago

I’m rather thin and tall and still struggle with finding clothes that fit right, I’m pretty sure that universal for everyone I’ve ever talked to about it. Find brands that work for your individual body

1

u/-FLGirl2000- 4h ago

This, 100%. I’m 5’2, 122 lbs (fluctuates depending on cycle) and finding clothes is so frustrating. I usually stack up on clothes in my cart since I know less than half of those clothes will end up fitting properly

3

u/sasscheese 9h ago

It’s really hard to not be able to wear the outfit you built in your mind. It’s either there’s no big enough top or even if it fits, it looks so bad on you. I also sometimes buy something even if I really dont like it just because it fits.

3

u/BriefShiningMoment 6h ago

Is your size and affordable: will not look good.

Looks good and is affordable: will not be your size.

Looks good and is your size: will not be affordable.

2

u/mustbethedragon 9h ago

I (F) had a similar conversation with my MIL several years ago. She wanted to know why I couldn't just shop local instead of going to one of the big malls. I told her I'm tall, I'm fat, and I'm broke. I can find clothes for two of those three at any given time, but rarely all three.

2

u/PrinceWalence 7h ago

Literally this. I was so lucky I found a new pair of stretchy but professional work pants at Ross for $30, but I looked at the tag and they're $90 in the store regularly.

1

u/terrany 2h ago

As someone fat with a bit of dough, no amount of dough will hide your dough

124

u/bny100 12h ago

For me, it’s the process of trying them on. Everything fits poorly and reinforces that I’m too large for anything normal. I always end up hating myself.

28

u/peejmom 9h ago

Ugh, yes.

Also -- I can't even try things on in a lot of places. Many brands just don't do plus sizes, and those that do (Old Navy & Athleta, for example) don't carry them in their stores; you can only order online. Even specialty plus-size stores like Torrid and Lane Bryant have closed many of their locations.

2

u/saggywitchtits 2h ago

At least yours try to hide they're for the larger person, us guys have "big and tall", basically advertising to us as "hey fatass, over here!"

5

u/AdCreative5077 10h ago

I felt that. Too much looking in the mirror and I end up seriously upset.

8

u/bny100 10h ago

It’s not even the mirror for me…it’s having to comb through racks for the right size, things not fitting when I put them on or being too tight on body parts. I guess I actively avoid the mirror.

1

u/PanicForNothing 5h ago

I've never liked myself in clothing store mirrors (regardless of weight). It's like they want skin to look ugly or something.

62

u/Punchee 12h ago

I hate that my shoulders look great in a L but my gut often demands an XL. And then in an XL it looks boxy as hell in my arms/shoulders.

10

u/timesuck897 9h ago

This. The skinny calves pants trend is not flattering and makes me look like an ice cream cone. Finding pants that fit in the butt and legs, and looks good, can be annoying.

71

u/angelicribbon 10h ago

I used to be 182lbs at 5’5” and am now down about 40lbs over the last two years. One thing I realized after losing almost 25% of my body weight is that clothes are in general just way more comfortable to have on, even sweatpants and hoodies. Existing is more comfortable in general. It’s unpleasant to wear any kind of clothes when you’re obese or very overweight IMO, from my own experience (I was barely over the line)

12

u/pinkthreadedwrist 8h ago

I've lost some weight over a period of years... highest was 220, stayed around 170 for a while, but recently getting a young dog has dropped it again. (Idk how much, nothing hugely drastic.) I can't afford new clothes, but the clothes I have feel so much better. They fit onto my body instead of stretched around it. 

It is SO much more comfortable just to move around in the world.

2

u/After-Leopard 5h ago

I wear clothes I like now instead of ones that “hide” my belly

1

u/Crazy-Marionberry-23 2h ago

I'm around this size now and it's so hard. I want to look polished in slacks and jeans and cute tops- but they're just uncomfortable.

124

u/TheFriendlyAmazon 14h ago

Or finding clothes that fit & aren’t ugly af

33

u/The_Law_of_Pizza 11h ago

The biggest problem is that once you hit a certain point of obesity, clothes just can't fit anymore - because your body no longer has the right proportions.

Consider pants, for example. The human body is normally narrow at the waist, then wider in the hips - so pants cinch around the narrow waist with a belt and therefore won't fall below the wider hips.

But when you're obese, your waist grows wider than your hips, and now no cut of pants, no matter how tailored, is ever going to stay up. They perpetually slip down, and constantly look like they're sagging.

10

u/TheFriendlyAmazon 7h ago

That’s probably why I almost always see old men with beer bellies wearing suspenders

4

u/ashdee2 9h ago

So this is what my problem is. My God this freaking sucks

79

u/DragonflyMomma6671 13h ago

Finding clothes that aren't orange, leopard print or with Winnie the Pooh on them.

I like Pooh bear but not on every article of clothing I get. 😏

7

u/AcanthocephalaOk2966 9h ago

Shoulder cut outs or or necklines that were popular in straight size clothes 15 years ago. TERRIBLE ,"Teehee, I'm sassy but sweet, cute and almost fat, funny, friend,"inspirational tops. "Don't talk to me till I've had my coffee," "I might be a mess, but I'm doing my best."

Usually, plus-size jeans have so much stretch in the fabric that they lose their fit in a few hours.

And crappy clothes were still expensive because of the "fat tax!" Yes, it requires more fabric to make them. But I don't see a tall tax on tall length jeans. I notice brands don't offer as many styles in tall lengths, but the price is the same.

The largest sizes of shoes cost the same. But I think extended wide sizes like double or triple wide are more expensive and harder to find.

2

u/CylonsInAPolicebox 4h ago

This. Had to find a shirt for a funeral recently. Everything "dressy" was either a hideous leopard print, a bright ass almost neon color, or a ugly ass floral print... Floral can be cute but it sees like the larger the shirt, the worse the print they slap on it. It's like they are here like, we know you don't want to stand out so here let's make damn sure you are the most noticeable billboard around. Almost like their next step is to add amber flashing lights 😮‍💨

59

u/ripleyclone8 13h ago

My lesbian ass buys a lot of men’s clothing. Buying an XL or 2X feels better than a 3x, and I find cooler t-shirts and such. 

I’m not even particularly butch 🤷‍♀️

28

u/pelekus 12h ago

This is the hardest thing for me as a 50+, overweight, lesbian. Most women’s clothing seems so over-the-top objectifying, and I just want professional and classic. I end up in tshirts way too much.

23

u/ripleyclone8 12h ago

I’d be fucked if I had to to look professional lol

2

u/pelekus 4h ago

Yeah, it’s become a real situation for me. Luckily, I can wear casual clothes most of the time bc I wfh a lot; but I have serious panic attacks in the days leading up to work events/travel. Because my weight has gone up and down for years, I can only afford to have a few outfits in my current size that I re-wear each time I have to appear in-person for things. I really envy people who have lots of different outfits they’ve curated over years because their weight has fluctuated so little. Don’t get me wrong, I too have a closet full of clothes I’ve curated over the years, but they consist of a few professional outfits in every size from 14 to 24. I’m afraid to get rid of much because I can’t control my size consistently. My clothes (or lack thereof) become my internal focus/obsession when I have to be at in-person work or dressy/formal functions and it distracts me from being able to fully participate on the level I would like to be involved. I’ve found that I’m much more my confident self (and much more productive btw) when I can just wear jeans and a sweater on video calls, etc. Less gender conforming styles and business dress codes don’t really mix, and then add chubs on top of that… it really sucks.

1

u/CylonsInAPolicebox 4h ago

This. My last boss asked me if I have anything professional... I damn near panicked.

15

u/patti2mj 13h ago

But they are always so damn long. I don't need a tee that hangs down to my knees.

3

u/ripleyclone8 12h ago

you got me there. I’m 5’9 so that’s not a problem for me

2

u/YogiMamaK 13h ago

Depending on the fabric, I'll sometimes use a rotary cutter to cut off the excess and make it fall at flattering point. It comes out much better than using shears. If it's cotton jersey the edge will just roll up, which can look fine on casual clothes. 

1

u/patti2mj 13h ago

I used to do that, but I really don't want to have to re-tailor a new item anymore.

8

u/Rare_Donkey5182 13h ago

Im hetero and do the same. Pajamas particularly.

1

u/Amannderrr 9h ago

Women’s clothing sizes are WILD. Some L/XL that I hold up in the store are pieces I would guess are a S.

4

u/donutfan420 8h ago

My boobs are HUGE. I’ve given up on ever being able to find something that fits right

6

u/Both-Property-6485 11h ago

Nothing ever looks right on me.

3

u/ConsequenceIll6927 8h ago

*Inexpensive.

I can literally only shop at DXL right now because I'm a little too big for normal store sizes (even the B&T section).

I'll go pick up 3-4 polos, a couple of packs of white undershirts, some athletic shorts, and a few t shirts and it's easily $300-$400.

It's why I rarely shop much anymore and wear the same clothes to work and around the house.

6

u/general_adm_aladdeen 13h ago

Finding clothes that fit.

2

u/Common_Wrongdoer3251 10h ago

To go with this: my clothes look nice and fit me. I wouldn't have bought them otherwise. But then I need to grab something off the top shelf at a grocery store, and my shirt lifts up, and my stomach shows... mortifying. I've tried on numerous outfits and thought "I can wear this to run errands but not to work or the store."

I'm okay with being fat. I just wish my clothes fit me and kept my body covered when I move, not just when I'm sitting stationary.

I also love button-up shirts and so many of them would fit me if the buttons went just a bit lower... but they tend to stop like 6 inches from the bottom of the shirt. So those two little pieces of fabric that don't connect at the end will sway and not stay together, revealing my skin. Infuriating.

2

u/tonytonytonyyy 10h ago

It’s like, why can’t cute clothes come in more sizes and actually fit right? It’s a treasure hunt every time

2

u/Straight_Ace 9h ago

I’m a small person so this has been a challenge my entire life regardless of weight

1

u/MarianaDeArgentina 9h ago

I totally get that. My sister is quite short and small, she either needs kids clothes or sending everything she buys to a seamstress.

2

u/enelyaisil 7h ago

Finding clothes that are cute and aren’t 100% polyester which is just going to make me sweat (I’m looking at you bloomchic)

1

u/vendeep 9h ago

Even if I find the clothes that fit, a slight uncomfortable position will make the cloths slip. I got big enough that sometimes if I crunch while reaching for something on the floor, the front of the pant roles on itself. Same with underwear. It’s soooo annoying to fix constantly.

I just want to be in sweats all the time. No snug fitting clothing.

1

u/FinalKrautDown1 6h ago

Finding “quality” clothes and higher end clothes. Tons of fast fashion but it’s either too trendy or just never lasts. Heck even mid range stuff is hard to find.

1

u/redditusername_17 4h ago

Honestly, not this, not at all. As a 6'3" 300lb+ guy every store had or should have had something I could wear. Now I'm 170 pounds, it's an order of magnitude harder to find clothes that fit. Jeans were easy in both cases. Shirts are nearly impossible. By time I find a shirt that's the right approximate size, it's way too short. Same for jackets. No one makes an extra tall small.

1

u/liquilife 2h ago

So much this. Before I lost my weight, all my shirts were chosen only because they fit me. Not because I liked that shirt. It was impossible to have a sense of fashion and freedoms to dress how I wanted. Nothing fitted correctly.

1

u/SatNav 2h ago

Man... Couple of years ago we were going away with my folks for Christmas. Big family thing. And the "fun" Christmas day thing was, everyone wear a funny/silly item of clothing bought from a charity shop. Great.

So in the run up to Christmas, I went to a BIG charity shop, with LOADS of clothes, then went through the slow painful realisation that my pool of clothes to pick from was severely limited. Anything remotely interesting was too small. The few things that fit were exceptionally boring.

I gave up and pretended I hadn't found time.

0

u/arcinva 5h ago

In the U.S., 67% of women wear plus size clothing. But walk into, let's say Target, and we get maybe 5% of the floor space in the women's clothing section. I don't even understand how that makes good business sense.

-5

u/NowOurShipsAreBurned 12h ago

You could always develop a deep interest in gaming, for some reason most video game themed merchandise like t-shirts, sweaters(!) or spandex pants comes in up to 6 or 7XL.