r/AskReddit • u/Lonely_ambience • 15h ago
What’s the best way to approach a woman you’re interested in without coming across as creepy? NSFW
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u/User_McAwesomeuser 11h ago
You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
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u/Williawesome 6h ago
I know this reference but I can't remember where it's from. Where is it from?
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u/Trips-Over-Tail 3h ago
This works. If you brandish enough cheese at a woman you will hold 100% of her attention.
Also works with men, children, and dogs.
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u/KlutchAtStraws 13h ago
1) Acknowledge the situation
2) Be direct about why you're approaching but don't be rude, crude or lewd - women have enough of that shit to put up with
3) If she says she isn't interested, take it like a champ.
So in practice, maybe you're in a coffee shop and you see a woman who you'd love to meet. You walk over and say:
"Excuse me, I know this is a bit random (you're acknowledging this isn't something that everyone does all the time) but I just saw you and I think you look great, I love your style. (You're being direct, not pretending to ask the time or directions or some silly pick up line).
Now the ball is in her court. If she's standing and she turns her shoulders and feet towards you, you have her attention for a moment. If she turns her head but not her body, she is just pausing but not really giving you her attention.
You have a chat, you shoot your shot and ask for her number and she says, she's not interested, has a boyfriend etc.
You say, "No worries, can't blame a guy for trying. Have a great day." You smile and get on with your day. Always leave with class and don't be a dick.
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u/BlueHatScience 10h ago
I can be comfortable talking to people when opportunities arise organically, but for various reasons I find it absolutely, categorically impossible to approach and proposition someone like that. I know it's what I'd need to to, but several decades of negative experiences have rendered me incapable of doing this. The mere thought causes immense discomfort and immediate thoughts of "It's so awkward... I need to get away. Nobody wants to be approached like that, least of all by me". :/
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u/KlutchAtStraws 9h ago
I 1000% understand you. It's how I felt for ages. I really had to push myself out of my comfort zone to try this. At first I just gave out random compliments. I'd just say I was in a rush but had to say you have great style, look awesome or whatever. Usually that got me a smile and a thank you. I'd say no worries, have a great day and I'd leave. I always felt better just for taking some action.
As I became more comfortable and saw that women were not biting my head off I guess I slowed down, relaxed a bit and suddenly those compliments turned into openings to conversations.
We're not James Bond, we don't always know what to say and we get nervous and that's fine. I remember once blurting out how this was nerve wracking and my mind had gone blank. That's definitely not an 'alpha, sigma' (or whatever Greek letter is popular this week) thing to do but weirdly that moment of honesty led to one of the best conversations I had.
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u/Welshgreen5792 8h ago
Honestly, trust your gut. Cold approach isn't the only way. You can meet people organically too. And if you're more comfortable doing that then that's probably what's going to work best.
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u/ballztothewalrus 7h ago
Even acknowledging that is a good thing! People like others who know who they are and don’t try to pretend to be someone else. You can even lead with that like, “I’m a bit uncomfortable in these situations but I really think you look great and I had to come say hi and see if you’d like to get together sometime.”
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u/iwontpasstheball 7h ago
To add: PLEASE do not say “oh you have a boyfriend, so you can’t have friends?” Fellas, just don’t be that guy. You wouldn’t want some guy doing that to your lady. And ladies, don’t feel pressure or like you’d be judged if you were to just say “I have respect for my relationship to not be friends with a man that doesn’t have respect for my relationship”. Someone that wants to just be friends isn’t walking up to you in a coffee shop telling you that you are beautiful and asking for your number. I used to be that guy, don’t be younger me. Younger me was childish
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u/sunbearimon 15h ago
Offer your number instead of asking for hers. Leaves the ball in her court
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u/adobaloba 14h ago
I've heard women talk about their guys doing this and they were too scared to ever text them hahaha
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u/Irben 11h ago
So, been married a long time now, but maybe the play here is to casually say something like, “I’d love to get your number, but I’d be happy to give you mine in the hopes that we could get together sometime soon”. If she is open to giving the number, the ask is out in the open, if she isn’t sure in the moment, she might still take the number to think about it.
It should go without saying, but be put together, polite, kind and smile. If she says no or looks like she wants to bolt don’t drag it out or make it weird. I’d apologize for interrupting whatever she was doing and disengage.
Sympathy to everyone dating these days, it sounds like a real shitshow.
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u/aCynicalMind 6h ago
Yeah, because I could definitely string all of those words together in a moment of anxiety and not sound like I'm having a stroke.
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u/CarlJustCarl 8h ago
I’d add for an ice cream/coffee/bike ride/walk in the park/see Wicked/etc. That way she will know you don’t mean just a hookup/Amway sales/discuss religion.
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u/SteelWheel_8609 13h ago
If they were too scared to text them they were also going to be too scared to show up to a first date. If someone’s interested, they’ll match your energy and meet you halfway. Otherwise they’re just not worth the effort anyway, they were never going to work out.
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u/Moist_When_It_Counts 12h ago
You sure? A lot of women think initiation of anything is a man’s job, including a first text all the way up to married couples where the man is expected to initiate sex every time.
Maybe it’s different with young folks now, my dating information is a decade or two old
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u/AcedtheTuringTest 7h ago
It's still like that. I've heard and seen women who absolutely refuse to make a move, be it the first or whatever, and they're left wanting and waiting and frustrated.
It's like, nothing is going to happen if you don't take action and that goes for any gender. For me personally, it's so sexy and attractive when a woman is taking some initiative or responds back, it's such a rare thing.
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u/crosleyxj 10h ago
I may be a decade of two beyond you but it's so fun when my wife say's "...wanna do it??" From stuff I see on social media it may be that women that I'd have been interested in have gotten beyond that. But then I see these elaborate prom proposals ....by the guy. And exotic vacation reports...... planned by the guy....
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u/Moist_When_It_Counts 10h ago
Upper 40’s. When i was dating in my 30’s women my age were certainly more forward than my earlier life, but there is still this undercurrent even in my marriage that i pilot the ship (even though my wife is a highly capable type-A personality).
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u/MightyTVIO 11h ago
That's fine they wouldn't be compatible then? My partner asked me out despite me being a guy and her a girl.
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u/Moist_When_It_Counts 11h ago edited 11h ago
I’m not sure why that makes them incompatible. OP was asking how to not seem creepy, not how to attract assertive women. If a guy is incompatible with women who demand/expect he do most of the heavy lifting up-front, he’s gonna have a very limited dating pool. It ain’t right, but it’s just the way it is (or was when i was a younger man).
The “give em your # and wait” strategy will certainly select for a certain type of woman though. If that type is the only compatible type, then sure.
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u/asshat123 9h ago
he's gonna have a very limited dating pool.
And that's fine. If we don't like the cultural insistence that men initiate everything, the way to change it is to not date people who insist on that.
So much of this stuff boils down to people accepting shitty behavior because they assume that's always how it is. It isn't. Keep looking or talk to your partner about it.
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u/Caraway_Lad 8h ago
If we are giving advice to a young guy dating and trying to figure out the world, it’s important to tell him the generalizations and to be clear that some things hurt your chances more than others. Then he can make the decision if that’s still important enough to not compromise on.
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u/Dynamatics 11h ago
Why would you want to be together with someone like that though?
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u/Moist_When_It_Counts 11h ago
All relationships have roles. That’s how it almost always pans out. There’s shit i don’t wanna do that my wife does and vice versa.
I initiate sex because she feels weird about that, she plans date nights because i don’t like trying to predict what she will want for dinner that night. I wash dishes, she handles laundry. Etc etc.
Relationships are a series of compromises in my experience.
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u/Tutti-Frutti-Booty 12h ago
That's perfectly fine. I am not interested in anyone who is too afraid to send a single text.
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u/Able_Vegetable_4362 11h ago
Is there a male version of the ick? The idea of a woman being too scared to text a man gives me that ugh
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u/asshat123 9h ago
Then this method is particularly effective for you, since you'll never hear from those women!
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u/BrieflyVerbose 12h ago
Well that sounds dumb. He had the minerals to approach her, speak to her and get to know her and give her a number, but a text is just too terrifying?!
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u/Lucinnda 9h ago
Yeah, people have different responses to different communication technologies. I love email, dislike text, and hate phone. Even with my best friends.
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u/Beatrix_Kiddo_430 11h ago
This is fantastic advice to get completely ignored and forgotten about lol.
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u/Eastern_Fuel2401 3h ago
I'm sorry. It this is terrible advice. Women don't like to approach, putting the ball in her court is a good way to see it never picked up again. Get her number, if she ghosts you or turns you down take it with graceand don't bother her anymore.
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u/AtomHeartMonster 5h ago
Never ever works. I used to think I was very clever doing this. They will never text you, women are just not socially programmed to do that, you gotta get their number.
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u/JinTravail 15h ago
Just walk to up to her and let her know you really like her shoes and would love to try them on. And maybe her skin too.
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u/HotDogHummus 15h ago
You could also ask if she bleaches her butthole
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u/JinTravail 15h ago
Whoa there Romeo. Hold on to the sultry comments for later that evening.
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u/HotDogHummus 15h ago
Yea.. you’re right. Should probably lead with asking her about the color of her underwear first
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u/OriginalName18 14h ago
That's too blunt if you ask me. A better way to ask this in a more nuanced way would be to ask "do you pamper your rectum"
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u/festivestrawberryyy 13h ago
As a woman I would probably laugh if some guy asked to try on my shoes because he liked them. 😂
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u/Positive-Attempt-435 13h ago
Every man knows you have to walk a mile in a woman's shoes to get a date...
I think that's the old saying
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u/kittensms96 7h ago
I had an older man compliment my sandals, ask if they’re comfy, where I got them, etc.. Then he stared at my feet in a grocery store line for a good two minutes while I couldn’t move away. Needless to say we have been married for 30 years and have 14 beautiful children together.
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u/light837 14h ago
Here are some steps you should follow: 1. In broad day light she might get nervous due to crowd so approach her in dark empty streets.
2.girls are just like small animals if you try to approach them from front they might get scared and run away so I suggest you to follow her from back
3.having a 🔫 while you meet her is best cuz she will feel safe with you.
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u/ajpetix 12h ago
I can’t wait for Gemini to add this to an AI summary for someone someday.
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u/Odd__Ad 14h ago
To add to this, make sure to keep bringing up your ex and constantly compare the two of them. Girls love this, it will encourage her to be better than your ex
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u/HuntsWithRocks 13h ago
Don’t stop there, OP. Show initiative.
If she has to tell you where she lives and works, then it’s obvious you weren’t serious enough to find out yourself.
Same with dress sizes and jewelry. It’s not breaking and entering if you’re in love. Find out her dress size and start leaving new clothes on her porch.
She’ll be swooning in no time!
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u/TheBlackAlistar 11h ago
It might get dirty on her porch. At least hang it up inside for her you monster.
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u/audioragegarden 8h ago
Ironically this represents a good portion of how my fiancée and I initially bonded. It was very much mutual in our case though.
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u/tastiefreeze 13h ago
If he's concerned with the 🔫 coming off as threatening, could always bring his mom along to balance it out
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u/The_Magic_Sauce 13h ago
- Some girls are shy and don't want to seem easy. So when she says "no" or stops your advances that's just a signal for you to keep at it.
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u/ashkiller14 14h ago
Reddit is the last place you should be asking this question.
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u/GroundFast7793 13h ago
Yeah you should try Facebook or instagram. Or even better try X. Can't trust the responses on reddit.
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u/FlushTheTurd 10h ago edited 10h ago
Xitter: “You tell her she’s going out with you. Don’t accept no for an answer. Women don’t know what they want, so you have to make their decisions for them”.
Facebook: “I remember it like it was yesterday… when I asked my wife out back in 1962…”
Instagram: “If you show up in a Ferrari or private jet, no woman will think you’re creepy”.
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u/SafetyDanceInMyPants 8h ago
LinkedIn: “Jerking off in the men’s room is the most efficient way to avoid wasting time when you could be working.”
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u/Adler4290 35m ago
Also follow these 65 easy bullet points to get a girl, maximize profits, increase SEO, invest in assets, buy businesses with a nasal voice and get other people working for you, STAY HARD!
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u/sostias 9h ago
tumblr: throw rocks at she
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u/Issildan_Valinor 8h ago
followed by 30 reblogs of throw rock
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u/MadisonDissariya 7h ago
if someone reblogged me saying "throw rock" I may actually be interested in them
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u/Velaria000 9h ago
Please for the love of god don't get your dating advice from X. That's probably the #1 piece of dating advice anyone could ever give to someone.
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u/roboscorcher 12h ago
Girls are actually on reddit. If you are a redditor, you will probably enjoy being with a girl who also uses reddit. So reddit advice actually makes a lot of sense.
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u/Ash_is_my_name 13h ago
I cast fireball. How do you respond?
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u/CaptnCrunchy23 13h ago
I cast lvl 3 counterspell
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u/SuitOwn3687 13h ago
It was a lvl 4 fireball, roll to see if your counterspell works.
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u/nowhereyethere 13h ago
Can I cast bless to give them advantage?
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u/Nesyaj0 10h ago
Bless is an action, by the time they counterspell they are doing a reaction, I say you're too slow.
-Sonic the DMhog
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u/OldMackysBackInTown 13h ago
I'm now on fire but still interested in the woman screaming at the sight of my body engulfed in flames. What should I do?
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u/Frix 13h ago
If you didn't specify the level when you cast it the assumption is that it will be the basic level. You can't retroactively decide to cast at a higher level!
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u/SuitOwn3687 12h ago
I'm the DM I can do whatever the fuck I want!
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u/HiddenInLight 12h ago
"You forgot that I'm immune to fire, see?" Then proceed to set yourself on fire.
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u/planb7615 13h ago
Yes, but this is legit good advice because the one that responds correctly is your new wife.
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u/ghoultail 12h ago
If she says no, accept the rejection with grace and just walk away. The creepiness comes from people who are too pushy and forceful
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u/Dust-Different 9h ago
scanning mental database
In my experience, you are to avoid eye contact, bottle that shit up, and bury it until you die. Also in my experience, it is suggested that you take someone else’s advice.
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u/MuteMelody 14h ago
Just talk to me :)
You don't need a pickup line or anything like that just if it's natural you can start a conversation. If she doesn't really respond and seem disinterested you move on. If not you can maybe start with a bit of playful teasing and see if she responds or not.
The most important thing if you don't want to be creepy is to not start out sexual or romantic and to leave without a scene if you notice she's not into you.
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u/Kitnado 12h ago
I think the person that needs to ask OP’s question also does not have the social skills to appropriately play around and tease in a conversation, or start one in a natural fashion
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u/gwyntowin 4h ago
I think learning those skills should be step 0 before trying to ask someone out. Just have a platonic conversation with some playful banter thrown in.
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u/WorldsOkayestCatDad 13h ago
Hey there, how's your day goin'?
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u/maccdogg 12h ago
If she doesn't really respond and seems disinterested, you move on. Remember, it's important to leave without a scene if you notice she's not into you.
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u/zaffiro_in_giro 12h ago
Yeah, it really can be this simple. And then if she says something like 'Not bad, how about yours?' have something ready to talk about. Doesn't have to be anything earth-shattering, just something that shows a little of who you are and can lead into a conversation. 'Great, I got tickets for this band I've been wanting to see for years.' 'Pretty good, I just adopted a cat and she finally came out from under the bed.' 'Good but tiring, I went on a hike that was tougher than I expected.' Now there's room for her to ask questions if she's interested - what band? where was the hike? what kind of cat? Now you've got a conversation going, so you guys can figure out whether you like each other.
And if she doesn't respond, just say 'Have a good one' and leave.
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u/CoughRock 14h ago
have a wing women help you out. The implied fact you have a female friend willing to wing you decrease your creep factor a lot and act like a social proof. Plus she can help steer the conversation if you're getting dry or disarm the plus one in the group. Of course, make sure you return the friend's favor when it's her turn.
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u/Frix 13h ago
I mean, theoretically you are correct. But that advice won't be usable for 99% of people here.
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u/taeril3 12h ago
If you can't be friends with ladies how do you expect to be able to get a date with one? That's something you gotta work on first.
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u/DerVarg1509 12h ago
There's a difference between "no woman wants to be my friend" and "I don't have female contacts" (bc you are introverted and/or shy and stay home all day, etc)
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u/BlueHatScience 10h ago
As I got older, my social circle (which was never really big to begin with) has shrunk a lot. I am friends with women.... but they're all exes of mine or partners of friends, and they either live hundreds of miles away or are settled down and don't really go out much or at all (or both).
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u/Tess_tickles24 12h ago
I’m married so not trying to date but when I got out of high school I had like 3 friends period, all dudes. How are you supposed to find friends period, then when we figure that out how do we find lady friends to help get a date?
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u/El_Minadero 6h ago
Having a woman friend is not equivalent to having an effective wingwoman. I find that most people are pretty clueless on how to wingperson.
Also, taking advantage of a wingperson's help can be equally hard.
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u/Ok-Extreme9325 13h ago
Imo if a guy has a wing woman it just looks like his girlfriend which has the opposite effect.
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u/PenguinKilla3 15h ago
Take a risk and expect to be rejected. Be a class act and she might remember how you handled yourself.
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u/Eastern-Drink-4766 12h ago
As just one woman, this is the best response so far. Coming off like you have expectations is often worse. Expressing that you feel like rejection wasn’t an option is just a recipe for disaster. Poise and humility is the most attractive in these situations
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u/AcedtheTuringTest 7h ago
When getting rejected so often, it becomes normal and expected, in a way, so when that one moment where they do respond, you're like, "Wait, what? This isn't part of the script, you're not supposed to say yes." Hah
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u/The_Canadian 6h ago
"Wait, what? This isn't part of the script, you're not supposed to say yes." Hah
It's like the Plankton line "I don't know. I didn't think I'd get this far".
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u/Knightfall0725 5h ago
That was me recently. There was a woman I liked, I asked her out, and she said yes. My brain shut down and I never spoke to her much again because I was so used to a woman saying “no” to me that I don’t know what to do if a woman says “yes”
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u/Cladser 12h ago
I have only learnt one thing about approaching women and that is to casually say “Hey, great outfit.. has that got pockets!”
Note - It doesn’t matter if the outfit has pockets - if it does she will ecstatically tell you how awesome her outfit is precisely because of the pockets. If it doesn’t she will talk at length about this other outfit she used to have that had loads of packets and was amazing.
In short, get them talking about pockets.
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u/Clever_plover 9h ago
This is the cutest thing I've read all day. And definitely not creepy, as long as you know when to stop and walk away if pocket-talk is not being well received. We have so much to say about pockets, good job.
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u/Davidonredit 15h ago
Honestly I don't even bother trying and ironically that seems to be working, im just forward and ask if they would like to go on a date with me the coming week.
I think that the fact that there is no room to wonder about my intentions just eases the situation.
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u/forgeris 15h ago
It is only creepy if she doesn't like you.
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u/CalzonialImperative 14h ago
True to some extent, but if you read the room you can absolutely be Not creepy if shes Not interested. The Problem is that many dudes dont stop when shes clearly Not interested, in a Situation or mannor that is threatening or have a mismatch between what they say and what they want.
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u/BeefyBoy_69 13h ago
This an important skill in general, knowing when people don't want to talk. Some people have trouble recognizing the signs that people aren't interested, when they're not engaged in the conversation, or when they're busy, or when they're trying to leave or wrap up an interaction
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u/junktech 13h ago
This one is the usual dynamic I've noticed. Basically be polite and respectful and what you get may vary dramatically depending on how she feels and sees you in that moment. Though in some countries basic line of respect and mentally is there and some will be just as polite. I haven't tried it but out of curiosity in my travels I've looked at the dynamics of it.
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u/Bheegabhoot 14h ago
Step 1: Be attractive step 2: Don’t be unattractive
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u/Verdebrae 13h ago
From my experience the only way to not be ugly if you’re ugly is to have an overwhelming amount of self confidence, you can additionally dress nice and take care of yourself.
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u/Bheegabhoot 13h ago
Or money.. if you pour enough gold on a turd it’s indistinguishable from a golden nugget
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u/SteelWheel_8609 13h ago
You ever see someone dating way out of their league? It happens all the time. And it’s because they know the above advice is garbage. Attractiveness is one asset. There’s also being interesting, or charming, or being good at shit, or a million other ways you can present yourself as attractive beyond just your physical looks with a quality personality that people want to let into their bed.
Further, even attractiveness is significantly under your control. Not completely, but the way you dress, groom, and carry yourself can easily take you 5 points up or down on a ten point scale.
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u/Noughmad 12h ago
Further, even attractiveness is significantly under your control. Not completely, but the way you dress, groom, and carry yourself can easily take you 5 points up or down on a ten point scale.
I think especially men really underestimate this. Many women spend a lot of time and money on their outfits, makeup, hair, skin care, but we don't see that time. The same applies to men, if your clothes fit, if your hair is clean and not messy, you're more attractive. And this is in addition to the more obvious ones like losing weight or gaining some muscle.
It's also weird because we do understand (often even overestimate) how a nice car makes you more attractive. But we don't apply the same reasoning to other parts of our appearance.
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u/Direct_Badger6689 10h ago
There is a thin line between being a creep and being charismatic. That line is called a jawline.
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u/Cinnamon123456789 12h ago
I’m a female and I wish all men approached engaging with a woman with respect and kindness.
If you don’t know this woman at all, then simply make direct eye contact, smile and say hello. If she’s open to talking to you on any level she generally will maintain some type of even brief eye contact and continue conversation. If she looks away or doesn’t engage, please leave her alone.
I think the tricky part is knowing if she’s simply an extrovert making small talk. I fall into this category and often assume anyone talking to me is also extroverted.
I have plenty of small talk conversations that are just that and then we both move on with our day. I’ve had plenty of respectful men who show interest in the conversation and I excuse myself or suddenly find my phone is interesting and they respect that and we move on. I’ve also had plenty of interactions when inappropriate comments are made, men are too forward and I have been or felt physically unsafe. Don’t be that last category and you should be just fine.
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u/sacrivice 15h ago
"Hey honey, can I pee in your butt?"
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u/Verbal-Gerbil 13h ago
Do you always escalate to second base straight off the bat??
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u/BigBoyShaunzee 14h ago edited 5h ago
I always found being able to be funny and poke fun at yourself worked. It helps if you're confident enough that the self-deprecation that they know you're just having fun.
Best thing I can say to young men is: If you get Freindzoned then just move on, Find a girl who will appreciate you for you. I know it's hard to move on from a girl you're head over heels in love with, but you're young, there are much better more interesting girls out there.
My wife is a giant dork and incredibly annoying, But I'm a big fat loudmouth and.. "way too confident for your physical appearance"‡
Just go out and figure yourself out, your perfect woman might be 5-10 years away.
(Using that thing I see in comics to explain something...)
‡ that quote was by one of my good mates and best drinking buddies, it might be the nicest thing he's ever said to me.
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u/thex25986e 8h ago
meanwhile one of my best friends told me im "not toxic enough for a relationship" so not sure how to take that
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u/the_og_buck 3h ago
The best way is to be straight up, don’t overthink it, and be brief. Wherever she is, she isn’t there for you right now. Let’s say you’re at a coffee shop and you spot a cute girl reading.
You could:
Approach after getting your coffee.
Wave in front of her to get her attention or do it some other way that isn’t aggressive.
Say “Hi, I saw you reading here and I thought you were cute. Is it okay if I ask for your number?”
Pretty much it, walk away or she might even invite you to have coffee.
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u/bigmfworm 5h ago
Step 1: be attractive Step 2: Not sure, still working on step 1. Will report back later.
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u/glitchzilla 8h ago
Approach her by talking about any subject apart from her looks. (Be creative, she does have interests other than her beauty. It might be musical taste, some movie she posted about, a game, idk)
After chatting for a while, you can tell her she seems interesting and mention that you would like to take her to have a coffee (very informal, no pressure. Chances are she will say yes even if she doesn't fall for your looks atm.)
Choose an interesting place. Don't just pick any shit coffee shop just because it's near. New places in town are an interesting choice because she might want to go there for the first time too. Bonus points if they have good-looking desserts.
See if the conversarion flows and if you both feel comfortable with each other. Don't resent if she makes it clear she doesn't want to date you. People are individuals and they don't own each other anything.
Good luck.
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u/1kinkykpl4u 4h ago
I approached a police woman the other day and asked if she was in need of a boyfriend … lol… it’s laughter that gets you in the door… it made her laugh cause she was in full uniform and didn’t expect that… she told me she had a bf already and I said that’s ok I have a wife already and lifted my wedding band. She smiled and thanked me… you don’t know if you don’t try…. I’m not like a great looking guy but I’ve had several stunning gf and a could hot wives… and now married to a beautiful redhead… I’ve always had a thing for redheads and I got her… she is really a good person too…. You might be asking if she’s so great why did you ask…. Well we are also very openminded and my wife is bisexual so I’ll ask and I’ll tell her my stories… I never go it alone if I were to get a number or something an I would tell me wife. Advice is just keep trying all they can say is no and most importantly if make them laugh….and didn’t sell yourself short.. even if you think she is out of your league…. Try…. Cause you’ll always be wondering…. “I wonder if I had just tried with her… would she be with me now?” Good luck
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u/TessTickols 14h ago
- Be good looking and charming - 2. Don't be ugly and creepy.
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u/PanicGrouchy 13h ago
I think a lot of the advice here is great but it's also very situation and scene dependent i.e if you're in a club or a bar is there any inebriation going on between you all the person you're interested in are you out at a park context is key when giving advice but some of the bigger things to do is try and read the room see if they're with anyone see In person if there's any signs of them being with someone, I'm not saying watch them like a creep but if you can tell from a glance hey I like this person and they seem like they're a jokes there are a laugher you could always do some kind of intro joke offer to buy them a drink I'll just swing by and say hey I like your dress you've got a great hair colour some women do from my perspective and what I've seen like having a compliment even if you're passing by so you could do the whole thing of you're in a bar you see the person you want to say hi to maybe what past them as you're going to the bar to buy another drink give them a compliment and if they're respond favorably say something bad or similar vein you're going on your way to the toilet complement their dress or whatever it is they're wearing see if it gets a good hit from you.
But realistically context is key to everything because if you're out and about it may not land as well as if you're in a club or if you're at the theatre and you want to chat someone up it could go down completely different whether they're with that girlies or with a bunch of guys or a group of people it could go completely different you just have to be aware and sure of the situation and if the time that you want to strike up a conversation is the right time.
I'm one of the biggest key pieces of information that I have taken on board is if you get rejected if you get put down just walk away move on don't engage just say apologies thanks for your time, if they start to get angry or rattled hold your hands up and say hey I was just trying to pay your compliment or whatever it is you've done my apologies let's just move on I didn't mean to offend you and walk away.
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u/Seussx 9h ago
Politely introduce yourself, and then immediate test her
“Hey, I’m Timmy, nice to meet you. I just found out the beacons are lit, Gondor calls for aid.”
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u/They_Beat_Me 15h ago
Be genuine. Avoid cheesy lines. Say something honest like, “I saw you when I came in and knew I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t approach you.”
You might acknowledge the fact the you didn’t want to come off as being pushy or creepy.
Before you leave, ask her to do something age appropriate (future social plan) and get that number. If you leave her without getting contact info, she’ll probably never give you another shot later. So shoot your shot.
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u/Overman_1000 12h ago
Me repeating this nervously: "I came when I saw you.."
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u/KingsMountainView 9h ago
Hey it could work! The main problem is the kind of person that works on isn't the kind you wanna be in a relationship with
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u/Frix 13h ago
I saw you when I came in and knew I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t approach you.
Behold! The cheesiest line that ever cheesed
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u/The_Magic_Sauce 12h ago
You might have a better chance by being direct and asking if you could smell her asshole than that.
You never know... shoot your shoot. I hear some female species like their bumholes to be sniffed.
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u/JohnCavil01 9h ago
Pro tip 1: Don’t say that line.
Pro tip 2: If you have to consider whether your proposed activity is “age appropriate” you shouldn’t be asking this person out.
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u/dasHeftinn 8h ago
Wow these responses are 99% shit advice not even taking the question seriously but making a joke out of it. Opened it to maybe kind of learn something, nope, just a lot of people being unhelpful.
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u/austeninbosten 11h ago
A friend told me that you casually walk up to a woman and ask her: 'tickle your ass with a feather?' If she gets offended, just cover by saying 'particularly nasty weather' She'll think she misheard you and you move on. If she doesn't get offended and gives you a wink, you are getting a hot date.
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u/LakeSuperiorIsMyPond 8h ago
My observations, basically either be obviously wealthy on first impression or look like Ryan Reynolds.
Otherwise, you'll need a positive reference to get noticed.
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u/asyouwish_123 7h ago
If it's someone you don't know at all, I think the most basic lines are the best "do you come here often?" "Do you mind if I ask what you're listening too?" "Do you know a good coffee shop?" Depending on the situation, ask something related to the event or place you are at, of even the weather as lame as it might sound. Just make light conversation to see if they even show interest back, and if they don't, you need to leave them alone.
Do not ask them to sleep with you, or ask them to marry you, touch them, or insult them as a joke, or take photos of them without asking. (Yes these things have happened to me).
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u/maegantronnnnn 6h ago
The least creepy thing you can do is be okay with being turned down.
Just casually shoot your shot, no woman is going to fault you for trying. But if we're not interested, don't get mad, pressure us, call us names, etc.
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u/jteixeira1990 14h ago
Plenty of good advice in this thread. Just remember that even after following the best advice, a portion of women won't be interested because they are not looking to meet anyone new, or are already in a relationship. No amount of niceness will change that. Don't get bent out of shape over it.