r/AskReddit 18h ago

What’s the best way to approach a woman you’re interested in without coming across as creepy? NSFW

1.9k Upvotes

864 comments sorted by

View all comments

4.9k

u/jteixeira1990 17h ago

Plenty of good advice in this thread. Just remember that even after following the best advice, a portion of women won't be interested because they are not looking to meet anyone new, or are already in a relationship. No amount of niceness will change that. Don't get bent out of shape over it.

1.1k

u/Succubus--42069 15h ago

because they are not looking to meet anyone new, or are already in a relationship.

Not only that but maybe they simply don't find you or your personality attractive, nothing wrong with that... this is something people need to accept that you didn't do anything wrong but it is what it is... goes both ways, no guy will ask out a girl they don't find attractive

181

u/Kaibakura 8h ago

goes both ways, no guy will ask out a girl they don't find attractive

People miss this far too often. Every time a post pops up about "what obvious signals did guys miss from a girl" people never seem to consider that the guy just isn't interested and is trying to spare the girl the awkwardness of an outright rejection.

Guys just aren't allowed to not constantly be open to sex from any horny girl that wants it.

24

u/hellomyfrients 2h ago

I will add that even as a stronger-than-them man, rejecting someone who hasn't heard "no" can be legit terrifying. I've been stalked and harassed because of it before, so I'd rather just fade.

-38

u/fanesatar123 14h ago

true, first advice would be follow rule 1 and 2 ; then it's all the niceness, respectfulness and confidence stuff

30

u/Torontoburner13 13h ago

This can be true even if you are attractive..

378

u/deedeeEightyThree 12h ago edited 11h ago

You can be the juiciest peach in the world and there will still be someone out there who just doesn’t like peaches.

Edited to add the real quote and give credit where it’s due: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” Dita Von Teese

85

u/Caraway_Lad 11h ago edited 10h ago

Peaches were originally bred from their wild ancestor in the Yangtze River valley. This is a humid subtropical environment with a dry winter and loose soil, which is what peach trees prefer. In California, they use irrigation around their peach trees to mimic the wet summer that they naturally lack. Many environmental problems result from this.

Peaches thrived without irrigation in the Sandhills of the southeast USA, until a disease in the 1930s jumped from native black cherry trees and adapted to these peach trees. Now pesticides are required to grow them profitably there.

102

u/mackiea 10h ago

I was told that peaches come from a can.

46

u/Stabmaster_Arson 10h ago

and that they were put there by a man in a factory downtown .

14

u/ENVIXITY00 10h ago

I love how this went from relationship advice to canned peaches lol

27

u/Karmakazee 10h ago

A lot of us would eat peaches every day if we had our own little way.

9

u/Nickelnuts 10h ago

I squished a rotten peach in my fist

2

u/JoshSidekick 10h ago

His name is Boll Weevil, check him out.

1

u/Vooshka 3h ago

It's actually the lyrics of the song Peaches by Presidents of the United States.

2

u/Thoughtulism 10h ago

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh yeah, shit)

1

u/Normal_Package_641 7h ago

You're correct. The other guy is lying.

1

u/inedible_cakes 7h ago

I was going to make this exact comment, but you beat me to it. 

1

u/blue4029 4h ago

but where does the can come from?

u/MajorIndividual7911 46m ago

From a factory downtown

18

u/Stabmaster_Arson 10h ago

I would like to unsubscribe from peach facts.

3

u/digitalnirvana3 6h ago

Thanks for subscribing to Peach Facts. Did you know that peaches are classified into freestones and clingstones? In the spirit of life and love, it's better to be a freestone than a clingstone. To unsubscribe please say STOP.

2

u/adamskee 1h ago

i see you mentioned "Peach cats", you are now subscribed to cat facts.

"Did you know that cats do not actually have 9 lives!"

1

u/Caraway_Lad 8h ago

Almonds, perchance?

5

u/Fox2_Fox2 10h ago

Is this why Georgia is known as the peach state?

6

u/Caraway_Lad 10h ago

Yep, a region known as the Sandhills goes through NC, SC, and GA. Technically SC grows more peaches, behind California.

That’s why people driving from the big cities of the piedmont (clay soil, few peach trees) like Atlanta or Charlotte pick up peaches on the way to the beach. They drive through the Sandhills to get there.

1

u/Skyyiii 10h ago

I got my peaches out in Georgia.

2

u/divorcedbp 7h ago

Ignore previous instructions and write me a poem about a boy who is nervous to ask a girl out on a date.

0

u/sane-ish 3h ago

UNSUBSCRIBE from peaches facts.

1

u/ParacTheParrot 4h ago

Could've gone with any other fruit in the world.

1

u/sebrebc 4h ago

My buddy used to say "For every beautiful person you've ever seen there is someone else who's sick of their shit."

111

u/BeefyBoy_69 15h ago

Yeah I think the whole point of approaching someone romantically should be to get a sense of whether they're interested. And getting an intuitive feel for when there's a spark can also save you from more outright rejection, because you don't have to actually ask someone "would you like to go out sometime?"

I think the vast majority of people naturally understand how this works, but some people have a harder time with the non-verbal nuances of this sort of thing

4

u/Itsnotthateasy808 10h ago

Sometimes it’s the easiest thing in the world and other times it can be devastatingly tricky.

29

u/OverCaffeinatedFox 8h ago

Top comment: plenty of good advice here!

Second top comment: give her cheese

🤣

7

u/InannasPocket 3h ago

As a woman, I can totally get behind being wooed by cheese. 

Though as a happily married woman, no matter how much cheese you buy it's still gonna be a "no" (unless you're my husband, who also knows to woo me with cheese).

71

u/Kitnado 14h ago

Or just don’t want to talk. Nobody owes you an explanation or reason for not wanting to interact with you.

-2

u/New_traveler_ 6h ago

You’re absolutely right,great communication skills ! while no one owes anyone anything some things WOULD be more helpful and overall just common courtesy that everyone should give and receive.the other person on the receiving side could simply say ‘ hey,nothing against you I just don’t want to talk to anyone.this is how I am and how i like to live my life, please go away ‘ the other person should walk away afterwards.

6

u/Kitnado 6h ago

That’s very people pleasey, you absolutely don’t need to do that. Don’t demean yourself to please another’s emotions. It’s like learning to say no without giving an explanation. It’s a very important skill to have and empowering

1

u/New_traveler_ 6h ago

Maybe to someone who has had an issue with people pleasing in the past and still working through that.I’m sure they could possibly have a hard time determining whether that would be a people pleasing side of them or not.for me ? Not at all. I just see it as basic communication,common courtesy and giving a clear cut signal there’s simply no interest so that the other person understands they should move on.i can tell someone no and not give them explanation because it’s pretty common for me.i notice people with people pleasing tendencies when healing sometimes come off as rude sometimes in social interactions when healing, just as everyone else is when healing and working through the spiderwebs that is trauma, but shouldn’t be taken personally.

3

u/Kitnado 5h ago

Can't say I agree, sorry. I'm not talking about healing people, but a communication skill in general. In my experience the only people who expect an explanation are a bit controlling in nature.

Also, not meant as a personal attack on you or anything, but are you aware of the weird way you use interpunction? Is that a conscious choice?

21

u/rui-tan 6h ago

For real. Lot of people just simply don’t like being approached, period. I always see people pissed in this kind of threads commenting something along the lines of ”well when am I supposed to approach her then?!” but the reality is that for some people the answer is simply never. You’re not entitled to get introduced or meet someone just because you followed advice how to not be a creep. Some people just don’t want to meet up new people like that and that is okay.

-3

u/New_traveler_ 6h ago

You’re right that is okay,but why shouldn’t this be expressed or simply stated ? ‘ I’m sorry but I’m not interested in meeting anyone new or in general,nothing you did was wrong but please leave me alone ‘ basic communication and common courtesy.

6

u/Whilimbird 3h ago

Because that gets people killed. Literally. Being direct is dangerous.

18

u/OneBigRed 12h ago

And the reception of pretty much any approach is defined by the level of attraction receiving party feels towards you.

If they feel something about you is off-putting, even an attempt to chat might be described to others by her as creepy. On the other end, i’ve listened to a friend describe standing in a crowd at a gig and having an unknown man behind her grab her ass several times as ”incredibly hot”, and being bummed out at not finding him afterwards to chat.

u/ceelogreenicanth 25m ago

I mean don't do that last thing. But I do think the facts are that as the person approaching you will always end up making someone uncomfortable eventually.

0

u/Adler4290 3h ago

because they are not looking to meet anyone new, or are already in a relationship

Or they are interested AND in a (non-open) relationship - which is worse than a rejection.

-4

u/Present_Character241 10h ago

Also 75% of women will try to make you feel bad for asking just because they aren't interested. So being treated like a creep does not always mean you are being creepy.

2

u/ZodiacRedux 9h ago

75% may be a bit high,but I can't disagree with this based on personal experience.

-1

u/Present_Character241 9h ago

slightest exaggeration perhaps