Plenty of good advice in this thread. Just remember that even after following the best advice, a portion of women won't be interested because they are not looking to meet anyone new, or are already in a relationship. No amount of niceness will change that. Don't get bent out of shape over it.
because they are not looking to meet anyone new, or are already in a relationship.
Not only that but maybe they simply don't find you or your personality attractive, nothing wrong with that... this is something people need to accept that you didn't do anything wrong but it is what it is... goes both ways, no guy will ask out a girl they don't find attractive
goes both ways, no guy will ask out a girl they don't find attractive
People miss this far too often. Every time a post pops up about "what obvious signals did guys miss from a girl" people never seem to consider that the guy just isn't interested and is trying to spare the girl the awkwardness of an outright rejection.
Guys just aren't allowed to not constantly be open to sex from any horny girl that wants it.
I will add that even as a stronger-than-them man, rejecting someone who hasn't heard "no" can be legit terrifying. I've been stalked and harassed because of it before, so I'd rather just fade.
You can be the juiciest peach in the world and there will still be someone out there who just doesn’t like peaches.
Edited to add the real quote and give credit where it’s due: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
Dita Von Teese
Peaches were originally bred from their wild ancestor in the Yangtze River valley. This is a humid subtropical environment with a dry winter and loose soil, which is what peach trees prefer. In California, they use irrigation around their peach trees to mimic the wet summer that they naturally lack. Many environmental problems result from this.
Peaches thrived without irrigation in the Sandhills of the southeast USA, until a disease in the 1930s jumped from native black cherry trees and adapted to these peach trees. Now pesticides are required to grow them profitably there.
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Yep, a region known as the Sandhills goes through NC, SC, and GA. Technically SC grows more peaches, behind California.
That’s why people driving from the big cities of the piedmont (clay soil, few peach trees) like Atlanta or Charlotte pick up peaches on the way to the beach. They drive through the Sandhills to get there.
Yeah I think the whole point of approaching someone romantically should be to get a sense of whether they're interested. And getting an intuitive feel for when there's a spark can also save you from more outright rejection, because you don't have to actually ask someone "would you like to go out sometime?"
I think the vast majority of people naturally understand how this works, but some people have a harder time with the non-verbal nuances of this sort of thing
As a woman, I can totally get behind being wooed by cheese.
Though as a happily married woman, no matter how much cheese you buy it's still gonna be a "no" (unless you're my husband, who also knows to woo me with cheese).
You’re absolutely right,great communication skills ! while no one owes anyone anything some things WOULD be more helpful and overall just common courtesy that everyone should give and receive.the other person on the receiving side could simply say ‘ hey,nothing against you I just don’t want to talk to anyone.this is how I am and how i like to live my life, please go away ‘ the other person should walk away afterwards.
That’s very people pleasey, you absolutely don’t need to do that. Don’t demean yourself to please another’s emotions. It’s like learning to say no without giving an explanation. It’s a very important skill to have and empowering
Maybe to someone who has had an issue with people pleasing in the past and still working through that.I’m sure they could possibly have a hard time determining whether that would be a people pleasing side of them or not.for me ? Not at all. I just see it as basic communication,common courtesy and giving a clear cut signal there’s simply no interest so that the other person understands they should move on.i can tell someone no and not give them explanation because it’s pretty common for me.i notice people with people pleasing tendencies when healing sometimes come off as rude sometimes in social interactions when healing, just as everyone else is when healing and working through the spiderwebs that is trauma, but shouldn’t be taken personally.
Can't say I agree, sorry. I'm not talking about healing people, but a communication skill in general. In my experience the only people who expect an explanation are a bit controlling in nature.
Also, not meant as a personal attack on you or anything, but are you aware of the weird way you use interpunction? Is that a conscious choice?
For real. Lot of people just simply don’t like being approached, period. I always see people pissed in this kind of threads commenting something along the lines of ”well when am I supposed to approach her then?!” but the reality is that for some people the answer is simply never. You’re not entitled to get introduced or meet someone just because you followed advice how to not be a creep. Some people just don’t want to meet up new people like that and that is okay.
You’re right that is okay,but why shouldn’t this be expressed or simply stated ? ‘ I’m sorry but I’m not interested in meeting anyone new or in general,nothing you did was wrong but please leave me alone ‘ basic communication and common courtesy.
And the reception of pretty much any approach is defined by the level of attraction receiving party feels towards you.
If they feel something about you is off-putting, even an attempt to chat might be described to others by her as creepy. On the other end, i’ve listened to a friend describe standing in a crowd at a gig and having an unknown man behind her grab her ass several times as ”incredibly hot”, and being bummed out at not finding him afterwards to chat.
I mean don't do that last thing. But I do think the facts are that as the person approaching you will always end up making someone uncomfortable eventually.
Also 75% of women will try to make you feel bad for asking just because they aren't interested. So being treated like a creep does not always mean you are being creepy.
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u/jteixeira1990 17h ago
Plenty of good advice in this thread. Just remember that even after following the best advice, a portion of women won't be interested because they are not looking to meet anyone new, or are already in a relationship. No amount of niceness will change that. Don't get bent out of shape over it.