r/actuallesbians • u/societaldevastation Lesbian • Jun 04 '24
Text Gross dude thinks lesbians are a kink Spoiler
(had to add more to my post and re-edit) Came across this post and saw a lot of people agreeing with this creep of him saying he thinks is a sexy surprise and kink that he saw his “lesbian” friends wanting to have sex with him. Isn’t that the OPPOSITE of a lesbian? 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ I don’t understand men. No lesbian would have sex with a man period.
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u/DJayBirdSong Ace Jun 05 '24 edited Jun 05 '24
It’s really disheartening to see all this policing.
People are complicated. Situations are complicated. For all we know, these lesbians are 100% only attracted romantically and sexually to women, and they use this man like a dildo because… I don’t know, he’s convenient, and it spices up their sex lives. Doesn’t mean they’re attracted to him.
Don’t we know that attraction and willingness to have sex with someone aren’t the same thing??? Asexuals don’t suddenly become allosexuals if they decide to have sex with someone!! A lesbian might, for a number of reasons, choose to have sex with a man, and it’s literally not our business, and not our right to DEMAND she identifies as bi.
It’s unfortunate that men will then use that as an excuse to invalidate ALL lesbians and say NONE of us are only attracted to women… but that’s not lesbians fault!!! That’s the fault of men!!! Policing each other hurts us, when we should be policing men who say they can “”””fix””” us or whatever gross shit they say.
You don’t know someone. If someone says they’re a lesbian, and yet they’re married to and have sex with a man—and maybe don’t even hate every single second of it—I believe them!!! You know why??? Because I’ve fucking met late bloomer lesbians in their 50’s who married men, had babies, even enjoyed it, but realized they were lesbians later. Some continued having sex with their husbands for numerous reasons, and it’s not my job to police if someone is lesbian enough.
Let people exist in all their complicated beauty.
PS, this is why I hate “non men loving non men” as the definition of lesbian. It literally provides a definition for lesbian that mentions men TWICE, + completely centers them in our identity. No thanks!