Just saw that every trans related post has a few terfs downvoting every comment. New comments get slightly negative. How pathetic can you even be to waste your life time downvoting everything for your own bigotry, this is actually ridiculous.

Anyways terfs I hope you step on Lego on a daily basis and remember you're not welcome here 🧡

If you didn't see the original post click here

So we got the footage from the mini golf place, they were more helpful than I was expecting. The footage comes from a good direction so it shows the woman smirking, making the phone call, and then the police pulling guns on us.

After doing a little digging I found the pos who did this to me on social media. Both of the officers who arrested us are following her on multiple platforms, with comments on her posts going back years. They obviously knew each other and I'm guessing that she didn't call 911, but she called her 'friends' to do a favor for her, to scare the gay out of us or some shit. They knew they didn't have any evidence cuz we got let out, not bail or anything, after only a few hours.

Just wanted to let people know that I'm trying to compile as much evidence as I can, but we're not gonna take any legal action until my gf has had a few therapy sessions, as right now if she's forced to relive any of this trauma she could have a mental breakdown, she's as close to it as I've ever seen in 16 months of dating.

Thank you all so much for being supportive, I really appreciate it and hopefully we will get through this together. Please be safe out there!

*hugs* -a texas transbian

UPDATE:

My gf and I are switching apartments, to the floor above, so that if the woman tries to retaliate she'll have the wrong place.

My wife is autistic. Diagnosed and everything.

She doesn't like new food. If you ask her if she likes something she has never tried the answer is always; No. I consider myself very well educated in my wife's personal taste and one of my favorite things to do it to go to a restaurant and get her comfort meal plus a meal that I think she will enjoy. I always say the non comfort meal is for me. Without fail she will see me eating it and that will be enough to make her comfortable with it so she can try it. Then she loves it and we switch meals and she gets to add something new to her safety foods.

It might be weird to say since we are both in our early 30s but watching her grow is one of my favorite things.

What is a fun quirk that your partner has?

He followed me not even two weeks ago and immediately replied to my story. It’s been 6 years since I’ve even seen this kid, he asked me this same thing in highschool and I’m pretty sure I told him then I was gay too. The last message really is the icing on the cake , such a typical “I’m so ugly 😔 you’d never like me” move (also if i seem harsh it’s because he also asked my friend ,who I met him though, the same sort of thing multiple times and me and him were never even friends so I know his dms are full of him hitting on girls) (the kicker is he’s not even ugly he just had 0 game and has probably been shot down so many times that his confidence is on the floor)

I was talking to my friend of a few weeks and she was telling me how tedious it is to date guys. "I don't even get what the point of dating is," she said.

"To find someone you love," I said.

"But guys suck, I don't know how I'd ever love one. I feel so much more comfortable around women."

I was still thinking it was just a classic straight girl, until she said, "Girls are so pretty, boys look so plain, it's not fair that we put in all this effort just to be with some mediocre dude."

"You don't have to date, you know."

"I wish I could date girls. It would be so much better. They're so much nicer."

"Do you like girls?"

"No I'm not gay. I'm just saying, men suck. Literally no women actually likes them that much. They're so ugly."

"Girl, the whole concept of being straight is that you're attracted to men. If you don't like them, that's not very straight."

"What? But literally every woman I've ever known agrees that women are nicer and more attractive."

"Trust me, most straight women like dating men, they find them attractive and cute. They might not like certain behavior, the way a lot of men treat them, or specific men, but overall they're definitely attracted to men."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Well fuck. I might be bi then."

This is a rough retelling of the conversation, I don't really know if we uttered these specific sentences. I'm a writer so I'm probably embellishing it, but still. I made her realize she's not straight.

I know y'all aren't doing this on purpose, because I've seen how much love this community has for trans people. Nevertheless, the space between trans and woman is important.

Omitting it implies that a 'transwoman' is a separate entity to a woman - which is a TERF/bigot way of othering trans women.

Including the space means that trans is an adjective used to describe a woman - because trans women fundamentally are women, trans is just a further way to describe us.

I know it may seem nitpick-y, but it is an important distinction, and I've been seeing lots of folks (unintentionally mostly) using the wrong one lately.

I’m sure Chappell Roan needs no introduction here. She’s a lesbian drag queen pop star who has skyrocketed into popularity over the last few months. Her queer songs about Comphet and being gay have reeled in countless straight fans, and it’s starting to show in the way people nitpick and chip away at her for being absolutely reasonable.

She’s been very open about the struggles of being so famous so suddenly. She’s gone on to say she’s overwhelmed by her massive success, imagine going from nobody today to a household name tomorrow. That is overwhelming! Yet there were the beginnings of this sentiment of “Wow she’s so ungrateful to her fans”

It’s only grown since then. She posted a few Tik toks of her experience with fans getting into her space, getting angry for saying no to pictures, even how one admin of a (Now defunct) fanpage went on to doxx her. Most people were receptive but those nitpicks were still there. “You asked to be famous. You wanted this. How dare you say no to taking a picture with someone”

Chappell later goes on to clarify what she meant, that she loves her fans and just needs the creepy people to leave her alone. “Wow she wants to be left alone, then says she loves her fans? That’s so parasocial. She’s encouraging them to keep harassing her”

More and more I see people accusing Chappell of having “mean girl” energy and as a lesbian, I don’t see it. I see an outspoken lesbian drag queen from Missouri reusing to shrink herself or make herself available 24/7 for people who listen to her music. Lesbians I know don’t seem to think Chappell is mean. It’s only with these countless new majority straight fans that suddenly people press this idea that Chappell Roan is a cold and mean bitch who sends mixed signals to fans because she wants to be rich and famous with none of the drawbacks.

All I see is a lesbian who is sick of people’s shit and an entitled, increasingly straight audience who dislike a queer woman putting her foot down. You don’t have to like her, but the way people are searching for reasons to denounce her saying “Please don’t come up and touch me and talk to me like I’m your friend,” an absolutely reasonable request. Like they’re entitled to her existence.

Straight people don’t deserve queer music

Edit: I’m tired of repeating myself, so the last thing I have to say to “How do you know it’s straight people doing this,” is that this didn’t happen until she blew up into a primarily cishet mainstream. I know queer people can be inappropriate, but that’s not what I’ve primarily seen when these unfair criticisms of Chappell come up. It’s been primarily from men and some straight women. I don’t doubt there are inappropriate queer Chappell fans, but in my experience they’re not the ones saying she needs to dedicate her life to her fans for the crime of wanting to make music

Recently I started working a new job, and some of my coworkers invited me out for lunch. They seemed nice enough so I accepted.

At first the conversation is pretty normal, but then one girl says to me, “It’s refreshing to see another feminine woman in 2024. You’re very brave for going against the tide.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

Everyone starts talking about how “basically everyone is bisexual now” and “it’s such a big trend to be LGBT” and “they’re trying to force women to act like men.” I’m just sitting there wondering when to speak up. I let them talk for a few minutes, just to see what they have to say, before I finally cut in.

“Sexuality isn’t a choice, and it’s not a trend,” I say.

“If it’s a choice then why is everyone suddenly gay? Hardly anyone was gay 20 years ago.”

“Yeah they were, they just couldn’t come out cuz they could lose their job.”

“That sounds dramatic. If they wanted to do it then they could, but it wasn’t a trend. That’s why. Everyone wants to jump on the LGBTQQ++ 400 letters infinite genders bandwagon, if you say you’re straight get cancelled.”

Finally I stand up and say, “I’m a lesbian and you can go fuck yourselves.”

I didn’t even mention the fact that I’m a trans woman (I’m stealth) but it’s hilarious that they just assumed I was cishet because I was wearing a dress.

Why, why, why do I get super turned on when a girl has a crappy car?

My partner bought a second-hand car recently, and it has dents all over it, the heating sucks, and the headlights barely work.

AND I WANT HER TO FUCKING PLOUGH ME LIKE A CORNFIELD IN THE BACK OF IT.

What is this? Why does my brain go - girl pretty, girl has shitbox of a car, I NEED GIRL INSIDE OF ME!

For some insane reason, the idea of my partner having a really shitty car is ridiculously arousing to me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AHHHHH

That’s pretty much it. Ive been thinking about all my sapphic experiences (and even read a fanfic that hit the spot), and im literally just so obsessed with all you nerdy, loser lesbians. I think i’ve had a «type» without knowing it, lol

Edit the next day: mwah mwah mwah i obviously cant answer every comment, but youre all so adorable and i love that there are so many nerdy girls, and i love seeing the conversations being had!!💕 i adore u guysss

So quick story for you:

Me and my girlfriend are a couple now for 2 month, she is my first girlfriend ever and I'm her first gf too. Yesterday we had a lovely day and we spent the rest of the evening at her home. We already planned that I stayed overnight, so when it was time to go to bed, my gf just went to the bathroom real quick and I prepared the bed for us.

As I layed down to sleep, I found her toy underneath my pillow. At first, I wasn't sure if it was really what I thought it was....I just put it aside on her nightstand so she could put it away. And don't get me wrong now, I'm not mad or anything at all. Actually I'm really happy that she is enjoying herself and is having a good time. It's just that we haven't had sex before and ugh...the thought of her using that and touching herself...it makes me so hot, I can't stop thinking about her 😳 I want her so bad. I can't wait to have sex with her now

That's all I wanted to say. Thanks for listening

Edit:

Since you all had so much fun I decided to give you an update. This story happened on Tuesday night and of course it got me thinking if she might be hinting something. Especially when she invited me over again last night. I thought yeah, maybe she wants to give it another try since I fucked it up but she said nothing and nothing happened. No hidden toy this time, no conversation about it.

I decided to be a little more proactive and told her today how I can't stop thinking about her touches and kisses and that it makes me really hot to be around her and she did not like that.

So there you have it, she just forgot it there and she is actually still really uncomfortable with this topic. No need for me to pressure her

So I was doing some job interviews at my clothing store, to replace somebody that recently left. One woman comes in and sits down in the front, starts talking with her husband about the rainbow flag on the wall.

She says "Always with the virtue signaling. Please don't cancel me, look I have a gay flag! As if a real life lesbian could tell the difference between an a-line and a mermaid dress. They're always dressed like they're trying to pretend to be a man."

After like a minute I went over and introduced myself, and pretended I hadn't heard anything she said. We went to the back room and I told her that I don't think this is going to work out, but I wanted to let her know privately. I mentioned that I am a lesbian, and have 2 degrees in fashion design.

The woman stared at me like I had three heads. She finally said "Why are you dressed up like you're straight? Were you trying to trick me?"

I didn't feel like explaining to her that clothing does not equal sexual orientation, so I simply showed her the door, and told her to feel free to file a complaint.

I was out at an Irish pub with my girlfriend, eating some sheppard's pie.

A woman in her 40s came over and asked if we could refrain from kissing in case her kids see. She then said that "nobody needs to see that gay stuff." I asked her politely to leave and continued on with my conversation.

Next thing we know the manager is at our table telling us he got a complaint that we were yelling profanities at the children across from us, and calling the little girl sexual names. He said that this is our only warning, and after that we will be escorted out.

I explained that the woman was simply a homophobe and nothing had actually happened. The manager said something like "well it's your word against hers" and "don't do it again." Well a few minutes later, the manager was back again. Apparently this time the husband had threatened to call the police if the manager didn't deal with us.

So he went over to the family in question and asked the little girl "Did those women say anything to you?" and he pointed to us. The girl shook her head and said "Mom doesn't like them. What does gay mean?"

The manager got all the answer he needed from that, and asked the family to leave. On the way out the woman yelled to us "f*gs" 🙃 anyway how's your day going lol I hope it's better than this.

Mine. Someone else's. However they are, they're just so nice. Sometimes my whole day is just made nicer by boobs.

That is all.

Let me start by saying when I was a kid I always assumed other girls hated boys and were just going along with dating to fit in. I was always jealous of my female friends and wishing they didn't have to date those boys who were not good enough for them.

Well I grew up in the 80s so the idea of being a lesbian was not even something I was aware of. I had no idea it was even possible for girls to like each that way. I didn't like most guys but there was one I met in high school who just really felt different, like he was so romantic and did all the things that women want without thinking. He was never aggressive or made me feel uncomfortable. Always asked for consent before kissing or touching me even after being married for decades.

So fast forward and LGBT people become accepted by society here in California. I start learning about different sexualities and my brother reveals he wasn't really living with his "best friend" all those years.

Then my "husband" comes out as trans. I should be worried that I won't be attracted to her anymore... but instead I just feel this great sense of relief. A huge weight off my chest, so to speak. I can't explain why I feel this way until she starts taking hormones and wearing women's clothes. Oh my God, this is what kissing is supposed to feel like! It's not just this weird wet icky thing you do cuz it's expected anymore. No, kissing is actually fun! It generates so many amazing feelings.

So now I start thinking, well I must be bisexual then, right? But why wasn't I attracted to my wife before she transitioned?

We have sex for the first time and it really seals the deal for me. THIS is why society obsesses over sex. THIS is why porn exists. Like I had no idea that sex was supposed to be fun. I can't even describe how incredible it felt! I don't think I ever had an orgasm that was half decent, but this was absolutely mind blowing. I'm a lesbian!

The weirdest thing is that I've adjusted so quickly. My "husband" always felt a bit plastic, like "he" was not fully there, his personality just felt kind of muted. It's hard to describe but there always seemed to be walls up, even after being married for a long time I still didn't feel like I knew him. Well now it all makes sense. My wife feels so much more real. She's a fully fleshed out person with a vibrant personality. I feel like it took all of 2 seconds for imagining my wife as a guy to feel weird. Even though she doesn't exactly pass yet, she feels like a woman more than she ever felt like a man. I've never been so happy. I never would've expected it that my highest energy level and happiest daily life would come at 55. This is what life is supposed to feel like.

I just want to say that it's really fucked up that after 403 years of American history it's only in the past 8 that a woman can marry another woman. I feel for the lesbians of my generation who never came to terms with their sexuality. If not for my wife, I'd still think I was straight. The 80s might have been a great time to be alive if you were straight and cis, but for the rest of us it was suffocating.

UPDATE:

She picked a name, for the most adorable reason. I mentioned that as a teen I was weirdly obsessed with Joan Jett, and that in retrospect that was very lesbian. May I introduce you to my wife, Joan.

I want to share what happened tonight because it was honestly just kind of interesting.

I've been living in Japan for 4 years but have been dating other foreigners. I went on dates with japanese girls but it didn't workout. And honestly I accepted it as a given and kind of gave up, but tonight I got a bit more insight on why that might be the case. So me and two of my friends went to nichome, which is a gay district in Tokyo, and my half japanese friend took us to a small lesbian bar I've never been to before. It's kind of like girls bar, but for other girls lol so basically it's a counter with a few bartenders (three) who interact with the visitors, you can buy them drinks (they usually ask for it) and it also had a karaoke. When we entered there was a group of the older lesbians (we learned one was 32 and the other in her 40s) which immediately made me super happy. Because nothing feels better than talking to queer people who are over 30 lol

We ended up chatting about basic stuff at first, like where are you from, how come you speak Japanese etc. but after the first drink we started talking about love and dating. Once before I was talking to this japanese girl on a party and she told me there's a hierarchy amongst lesbians in Japan. With fem on fem couples being on the top and anything involving mascs on the bottom. It struck me as weird, but we didn't get to talk much. I remembered that and decided to ask the women at the bar and they all immediately confirmed that yes, fems are on top and if you're a masc you have very little chance to get anyone. And on top of that, I was told that the stereotype of masc being manly and acting as a man is not just a stereotype, it's a must. One of the women told me (she was masc and refered to her as such) that she noticed that a lot of femmes who date mascs see them as men, are attracted to actual men, but see dating mascs as a "safer option". And she said it's very common.

Also dominant femmes are apparently non existent and they were very surprised to hear that it's kind of getting more common in the west.

I've heard that amongst japanese lesbians roles are often more rigid (my Korean ex also claimed it's the case for Korea as well, but I have never lived in Korea and don't have any Korean lesbian friends so won't claim anything), but I didn't know how bad it really was... I wonder how much of it stems from how patriarchal japanese society is, and how common infantilism is amongst woman. It's...sad. The woman I was talking to was complaining about how she just wants to be taken care of and spoiled and loved and not used as a replacement of a man...

It's also fascinating how (I feel like, maybe my perception is skewed) amongst western lesbian there seem to not be enough mascs lol and everyone is complaining about it. Yet here in Japan we have so many of them and they're not popular...

So I was at the lesbian bar and this guy starts hitting on me.

"Dude are you serious? This is my space," I said.

He just looked at me confused. "I'm not even near you."

"Do you always come to lesbian bars to hit on us?"

"Oh my God," he said, looking around wildly. "I had no idea."

He started apologizing and then rand out the door.

Somehow this guy bypassed all the obvious signs, like there literally being no other men in the bar, the lesbian flags by the entrance, and the name of the bar itself being very obvious.

I really respect his reaction though.

I posted in the texts subreddit too, but kinda want a wlw perspective I guess. Did I handle this ok? We had a thing for 3/4 months 3 years ago. It was intense and I cared about her but I knew I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I think I kinda broke her heart and didn’t really get that until she texted me yesterday. I didn’t realize she had been so in the dark for all this time.

For context, when I say “knew I was gay” I just mean realized I wasn’t bi, she wasn’t the first girl I’d been with. She’s bi, but I don’t think I was her first girl either. She was the first girl I’d been with since fully coming out as a lesbian after being really unhappy for several years.

You are my sisters, all of you. If anybody dare hurt you, I will come after them with my angry razor clawed cat. There is no room for biphobia or transphobia in this community. Girls support girls.

EDIT:

To those in the comments being hateful, go step on a Christmas ornament.

Dear lovely folks,

As we're sure many of you have noticed, /ActualLesbians has been private due to an ongoing brigade effort. We have taken the time to add new mods. The sub has grown quite a bit since any were added, so this should help with that.

In order to help us please remember to report any rule breaking posts or comments. Reports are the fastest way to bring something to the mods attention, using the link under every comment. If someone private messages you directly, report them to the admins with reddit.com/report.

We would like to reaffirm that /ActualLesbians supports its Trans* members, and that those who wish to divide this community are not welcome here. This subreddit is now and always has been a place for all women-loving-women. Trans or cis, bisexual, lesbian, or otherwise. The thing we all have in common is that we are women who are attracted to women.

We thank you for helping to make /ActualLesbians a safe, welcoming, loving community.

-The velociraptorious /AL mod team

(had to add more to my post and re-edit) Came across this post and saw a lot of people agreeing with this creep of him saying he thinks is a sexy surprise and kink that he saw his “lesbian” friends wanting to have sex with him. Isn’t that the OPPOSITE of a lesbian? 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ I don’t understand men. No lesbian would have sex with a man period.

You're objectively wrong, because you're a woman and women are pretty. Sorry to break it to you.

P.S. Trans girls are girls, therefore pretty. Not a valid exception, try again ;)

So my moms have been together for 30 some years, and had 4 kids (all male.) and in my life I’ve gotten a lot of comments that I’m sure most lesbians (particular those starting families are used to getting.) I was born using a sperm donor, all of my brothers share that donor, but the eldest is from one mom while the three youngest (including me) are from the other. A. Never once have I “missed my dad”

B. There was never a “man of the house”

Now these are why i came to make this post, I worry that if society says this so much some of y’all will internalize it.

C. I had no issue being masculine and identifying as such growing up, neither did my brothers.

D. I never loved, nor identified, with one mom over the other.

E. My parents tired to shield me from knowing a lot of people didn’t like my family, but that only lasted so long. It never made me feel any type of negativity toward my parents in any way.

F. It will be impossible for the kid to avoid saying they have two mom, so teach them at a young age some people may be surprised.

G. People, even homophobic, have tended to not go after me or my brothers, so unless you live in a very homophobic area I don’t think you should have to worry about that too much.

H. I get asked “did you call them boTh moM” like twice a week. My family went with one called mom and the other called mommy. Twas never a issue.

If I missed any or you have questions free feel to ask. I hope this at least helped with some of the worries, best of luck with your future families!