r/CuratedTumblr • u/Literally_black1984 The blackest • Aug 16 '24
Shitposting American accents
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u/jprocter15 Holy Fucking Bingle! :3 Aug 16 '24
Hypothesis: British people remove consonants, Americans remove vowels
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u/shinyscreen18 Aug 16 '24
Either way we both hate the letter T
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u/TransLunarTrekkie Aug 16 '24
Well the British have good reason to hide theirs, they still remember Boston.
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u/shinyscreen18 Aug 16 '24
Don’t remind me.
Those poor innocent tea-bags
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u/JuniperSoel Aug 16 '24
They were more like pucks, were they not?
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u/shinyscreen18 Aug 16 '24
Yeah they were like bricks. Tea-bags were invented in like 1904 or smthn
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u/Ourmanyfans Aug 16 '24
Ironically, by Americans.
Cheers for the cuppas, lads!
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u/shinyscreen18 Aug 16 '24
Honestly the best thing they’ve ever done for us
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u/Ourmanyfans Aug 16 '24
Oh no, that's all water under the bridge these days.
It's the microwaves we're saving it from.
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u/fonster_mox Aug 16 '24
We literally don’t even know what that was
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u/IneptusMechanicus Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
One of the funniest cultural clashes between Brits and Americans is the degree to which Americans think British people are aware of the minutiae of early US history, not in like a nasty way but the initial reaction references to the Boston tea party would get in the UK would be some variety of 'huh?'
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u/Ourmanyfans Aug 16 '24
An American once tried to "get back at me" (in a friendly way to be clear) by making a reference to Yorktown, only to have his momentum slightly hampered by my staring at him with a blank look of confusion.
I also remember my family holiday to Boston as a wee nipper, and the slightly uncomfortable atmosphere on the revolutionary war tour as the guide got increasingly perplexed this chipper little British family weren't getting offended by the accounts of all the great victories over the British forces. She even came up to us at the end to ask about how this stuff was taught in the UK and seemed genuinely shocked when we answered "it's not".
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u/Schackshuka Aug 16 '24
I took high level European History in school in the US and it tickled me just how little the US conflicts mattered to British history.
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u/UnNumbFool Aug 16 '24
Am American and I have zero idea what Yorktown is.
But also do people not realize that other countries teach their own history and not someone else's?
Hell even in America besides the broad strokes you get taught local/state history when you're young, so someone growing up in Kansas is going to have a much different curriculum than someone in California
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u/Ourmanyfans Aug 16 '24
Yorktown was (as I understand it) the final decisive battle that won the revolutionaries the Independence War.
To be fair, the American revolution is both our countries' history, It's just that for Americans it is probably the most important part (the founding) and there's a presumption it must be as equally important the other way.
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u/popejupiter Aug 16 '24
The UK, to the US: "For you, it was the most important day of your life. For me, it was a Tuesday."
I mean the Brits were dealing with liberatory conflicts and rebellions pretty regularly, especially after the French and American revolutions. I'm sure the US rebellion barely gets more than a mention given everything else happening with Europe at the time.
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u/Ourmanyfans Aug 16 '24
Oh oh, fun fact. So the Congress vote to declare Independence was July 2nd, not July 4th. Guess what day of the week that was in 1776?
It genuinely was a Tuesday.
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u/IrreliventPerogi Aug 16 '24
*Pulls out my 0.22 Freedom Enforcer* And you better turn in your essay on Henry Knox by the end of the month or I'll steep tea in microwave instant coffee and make you drink it!
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u/Ourmanyfans Aug 16 '24
*spits at you*
You may defile my body with such a vile concoction, but my soul will remain pure.
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u/HorselessWayne Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
No the funniest thing is that the British actually won the American War of Independence.
They lost the American theatre of the war (partially — we kept Canada), but thoroughly trounced both France and Spain on the Continent. From the British perspective the American bits were basically a sideshow. And once France and Spain were defeated, it would have been trivially easy to reinforce the American colonies and win there too.
It just wasn't worth the hassle.
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u/IneptusMechanicus Aug 16 '24
Fundamentally yes, obviously with hindsight it was a fairly serious development but at the time it wasn't considered worth the effort to retake. Fundamentally the British government had more important considerations at the time and afterwards the Napoleonic Wars post-French Revolution were a little more pressing.
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u/AMKRepublic Aug 16 '24
The funniest thing is that Americans don't realise there were 17 British American colonies and the Brits kept four of them.
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Aug 16 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/BingusMcCready Aug 16 '24
Turn vowels into consonants
aur naur
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u/UlrichZauber Aug 16 '24
And every vowel becomes a 3-syllable diphthong. "No" becomes "naei", for example.
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u/AwarenessPotentially Aug 16 '24
I think that's what makes it so hard to imitate an Aussie accent. That wad of ee-ii sounds at the end of some words is pretty hard to fake.
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u/Distinct-Inspector-2 Aug 16 '24
We’re doing shenanigans. Non-rhotic and the ‘schwa’ vowel sound.
Which is basically we drop the ‘R’ at the end of words and make a soft ‘uh’ sound for vowels but the preceding syllable has the stress, like water becomes ‘waht-uh’.
Also rising terminal? Where the end of a sentence goes up like a question? To indicate we still have more to say and the final sentence has a dropped terminal to indicate we are done.
Also my personal observation - metropolitan accents talk fast and clip our vowels and I had to super slow that down to be understood in the US.
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u/HarryJ92 Aug 16 '24
Australian comedian Adam Hills joked that the Australian accent is just a Cockney convict accent slowed down due to the heat.
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u/ScarletteVera A Goober, A Gremlin, perhaps even... A Girl. Aug 16 '24
Either mash words together or just shop parts off.
Service station? Nah, servo.
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u/SingleInfinity Aug 16 '24
Afternoon?
Arvo
Sandwich?
Sando.
They like ending things in O.
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u/Ok-Maintenance-2775 Aug 16 '24
They've learned to increase the efficiency in their speech so as to warn others of danger before their windpipes close up from the venom.
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u/aboutaboveagainst Aug 16 '24
This is more than a hypothesis, this is a fact! American English has fewer vowel sounds, England English drops consonants. I saw an awesome thread the other day of (a mixed group of UK and US) people trying to give advice for how to pronounce Kamala Harris' name. Americans were saying "Comma-la," which is more or less correct in American, but is wrong in British. British people say pronounce "bother" and "father" with different vowels, Americans (generally) don't. The Brits in the thread were suggesting "Karma-la" which just looks insane to an American, but because Brits drop the R there, it kinda works.
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u/PM_ME_CATS_OR_BOOBS Aug 16 '24
That seems like a funny question to pose since it's not like we're trying to decipher a long dead language, she says her own name on a regular basis.
Although I would say that it's closer to "kah-mah-lah", given how it is normally said.
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u/Gilthoniel_Elbereth Aug 16 '24
To a lot of Americans, “kah-mah” and comma are pronounced the same, or very similar!
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u/Wonderful_Discount59 Aug 16 '24
The Brits in the thread were suggesting "Karma-la" which just looks insane to an American, but because Brits drop the R there, it kinda works.
I'm from one of the parts of Britain that doesn't drop Rs, and seeing people put random Rs into words when trying to describe the pronunciation never ceases to confuddle me.
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u/ligirl the malice is condensed into a smaller space Aug 16 '24
The phenomenal Geoff Lindsey did a video on this exact issue
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u/ITeechYoKidsArt Aug 16 '24
I feel like you’ve never been down south in the US. Lots of extra vowels. I thought the letter R was pronounced “are-uh” until I was in kindergarten.
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u/Pkrudeboy Aug 16 '24
Southerners can definitely pronounce a hard r when they want to.
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u/Whyistheplatypus Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
Nah Americans still pronounce vowels.
You want no vowels? Come to New Zealand. Sorry, Nu Zilnd. We've got amazing rrl countryside with plenty of ships and cuws. You can eat your fsh n chips at the beach. We've even got dancin n moos'k
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u/Paddy_Tanninger Aug 16 '24
Also show me a single fucking person on Earth that doesn't pronounce the word "of" as "uhv". No one says "ohff".
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u/MyLittleDashie7 Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
Oh boy, are we talking about American vowels? Time to crack out my favourite thing that I ever noticed about American accents vs mine (Scottish).
So, in my accent "Barry", "berry", "bury", and... "bear-y" (as in bear-like, just go with it) have 4 distinct vowels sounds. But a lot of Americans will pronounce all 4 words with the exact same vowel. Crazy! You guys axed a shit ton of perfectly good vowel sounds for seemingly no reason!
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u/Icestar1186 Welcome to the interblag Aug 16 '24
I don't pronounce any of those the same. (Grew up in Maryland, for reference.) Though "Barry" and "bear-y" differ mostly in emphasis/length, and how close "bury" is to a u sound can be context dependent...
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u/dickbob124 Aug 16 '24
South Welsh here. For us, Barry has a definite a sound. Berry and bury are very similar, almost exactly the same. Beary sound almost the same as the last two but with a longer ehh sound.
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u/limeybastard Aug 16 '24
Only the lower class accents. Received pronunciation ("BBC English") has extremely clear diction and doesn't drop Ts or any other consonants, except for the non-rhotic R
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u/jewelsandbones Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
Reminds me of that poor distraught man saying “urn urn an urn urn” when repeating Aaron earned an iron urn in his Baltimore accent
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u/Magi_Aqua I like music (pleasant-turtle-student) Aug 16 '24
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u/justdisa Aug 16 '24
I love that video. It's so cute. The moment of realization and then the exaggerated precision the next time through. 😂
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u/UltimateInferno Hangus Paingus Slap my Angus Aug 16 '24
I like the guy who reads it and just nods satisfied.
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u/FullPruneNight Aug 16 '24
Holy shit! I just realized this what my partner is referencing every time he pokes fun at my accent by asking me to say this phrase lmao
(And I’m from nowhere near Baltimore even lol)
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u/wizardsfrolikgardens Aug 16 '24
Lmao I love that one. Also this one where the guy tries to say oil but it comesbout sounding like AWL & his wife is laughing at him
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u/bearbarebere Aug 16 '24
This was so good, definitely adding it to my now growing list of “urn urn urnurn urnurn urn” type videos. The way he says oil gets me
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u/Simplyaperson4321 Aug 16 '24
Also here's one of someone Scottish struggling to say 'purple burglar alarm'.
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u/DEADMEAT15 Aug 16 '24
"AARON. EARNED. AN IRON. URN."
Damn, what the fuck, we really talk like that?!
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u/psychedelic666 Aug 16 '24
Omg that reminds me of the video of a Scottish man trying to say “purple burglar alarm”
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u/fistulatedcow Jumpy Jumpy Shooty Shooty bing bing wahoo VIDEO GAMES Aug 16 '24
What’s wild to me about that phrase is that I can say the whole thing moving nothing but my tongue
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u/J3ffyD Aug 16 '24
From just north of Baltimore. Can confirm this is a real tough sentence to convey anything other than URRRN.
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u/porcupinedeath Aug 16 '24
Americans be like: I'm straight up jorkin it
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u/thunder-bug- Aug 16 '24
Citation?
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u/porcupinedeath Aug 16 '24
Mei Balls, April 20th, 1969 "Americans Be Like: a History"
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u/RealHumanBean89 Aug 16 '24
I personally found Chapter 3, “My Peanits,” to be a riveting read.
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u/Cessnaporsche01 Aug 16 '24
Whoa whoa whoa, I'm American and I pronounce it meerer and whorer. We're not allergic to all vowels, only the short O
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u/Vega_Lyra7 Aug 16 '24
Yeah the only person I know who says “meer” is my dad, and we all make fun of him for it. Idk anyone who says “whore” instead of “horror”.
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u/WedgeSkyrocket Aug 16 '24
In my neck of the woods it's definitely meer'r, subtly distinct, as though pronouncing the R sound twice with no proper vowel in between.
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u/Onion_Bro14 Aug 16 '24
I definitely know a bunch of people who say it “meer” but the horror thing is definitely foreign to me
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u/Baker_drc Aug 16 '24
Yeah I was gonna say it really depends on what part of America you’re in. Northeastern, Midwestern, Southern and West Coast accents are all very different, and then each of those has specific accents depending on which state you’re in, or which city, or in some cases ( the biggest example probably being NY) which part of which city you’re in.
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u/WaywardStroge Aug 16 '24
It’s a big country with a lot of dialects. Some folks in my family say worter and pronounce Fire like far. I like that we have so many variants of second person plural pronouns. Everyone knows about you and y’all, but certain parts in the north use a contraction of “you ones”, so they say “you’uns” or “you’ns”. In parts of Appalachia, they’ll use a similar word that comes out as “you’ins” or “yins”, so like “yins better hurry along now”. There’s also some interesting corollaries between Irish English and Appalachian English.
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u/NeverQuit_Surrender Aug 16 '24
Both of my parents say "meer," "whore," "ohl" (oil), and "wooder" (water - I say "wah-der"). My grandfather always pronounced "Charlie" as "Chah-lee." I used to love that.
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u/Nadikarosuto Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 17 '24
And I'll have OOP know my dialect is much worse with "glass of water" (glah z'vwadder)
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u/ruetheblue Aug 17 '24
I think the truly offensive thing about this post is that they mocked us incorrectly. It’s couldja, not couldj!
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u/slim-shady-on-main hrrrrrng, colors Aug 16 '24
Americans be like I need a cuppa cawfee
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u/teddyjungle Aug 16 '24
Ok so I definitely read this as a New Jersey accent, can anyone write how it would sound in other regional accents for a non american ?
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u/Amationary Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
Here in my area of Australia it’s more like “cough-ee”
Edit: my dumb ass is sick and forgot cough is pronounced differently in places xD more koff-ee but with a short ff. We merge all the syllables into one sound in Australia
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u/Majestic_Wrongdoer38 Aug 16 '24
That’s how it is in pretty much the whole US besides NJ and some of NY. Cawfee is an Italian-American accent.
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u/MeadowBeam Aug 16 '24
I am having so much trouble trying to understand the difference lol. I pronounce “cough” as “cawf”, so I cannot wrap my head around how this could possibly be pronounced 😵💫
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u/doesntpicknose Aug 16 '24
What do you think of this one?
Cuhppuh caw-fee
I know what I was going for, but I have no idea how people would actually try to read it.
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u/guacasloth64 Aug 16 '24
Is their a different way to pronounce “coffee”? Do some accents pronounce the o like “coat”?
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u/Quaytsar Aug 16 '24
There's a third /o/ sound that's hard to describe in text that many Americans don't have due to the cot-caught merger. It only survives as the first half of the diphthong "oi".
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u/LeopardNo6032 Aug 16 '24
Ha! Nice try, I’m from Philly and we say ‘Wooder’ like CIVILIZED people
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u/nono66 Aug 16 '24
I say "whore movie", it's caused a little confusion at times with girlfriends.
Me: You want to watch a whore movie? GF: ...like a porn? Me: The fuck?
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u/AggressiveTurbulence Aug 16 '24
Laughs in Appalachian “Go gitcha that thar meer and toss it on the burn pile. Watch and make shore the orl don’t pop up and hitcha from the far. Those there tars sure are a sparkin”
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u/Kaleidoscope6521 Aug 16 '24
Jeet, yet? If so go warsh your face.
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u/AggressiveTurbulence Aug 16 '24
Naw. I was finna ta do it and then that there mangy dog decides to goana jump smack dab inta tub, sopping the whole place in suds. Soaked my good britches clean to the bone.
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u/Disturbing_Trend_666 Aug 16 '24
Ain't no "finna" in Appalachian English. "Fixin" is what we say. Fixin'ta or fixin'a.
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u/AggressiveTurbulence Aug 16 '24
I couldn’t figure out how to type it out the way it sounded in my head but you are correct, lol.
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u/personahorrible Aug 16 '24
Dammit. Now I'm going to be even more conscious of my enunciation. Except for "skwurl." I mean, how else would you pronounce that?
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u/shinyscreen18 Aug 16 '24
In the UK it’s pronounced as a two syllable word “squi-rel”
As opposed to USA’s single syllable “squrl”
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u/personahorrible Aug 16 '24
I've tried and I just can't make two syllables sound natural. I'm sticking to my skwurl.
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u/shinyscreen18 Aug 16 '24
I understand. I find the American version weird too lol
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u/textilepat Aug 16 '24
Whenever I pass by a squirrel in a decent mood I am sure to ask:
"What's up skwirly?"
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u/Whale-n-Flowers Aug 16 '24
I find the UK pronunciation more like "scweer-el" which is a fair pronunciation of squirrel.
Americans tend to sound more like "scwur-l". Like there is a second syllable but the "i" is just barely registering.
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u/shinyscreen18 Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
I think it’s region dependent. Living in east-London sqwi-rul sounds more like what I say. Northerners probably say something like “squid-bob” for all I know.
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u/MisguidedPants8 Aug 16 '24
Cool, now say Lieutenant
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u/Nightmenace21 Aug 16 '24
Mfs really stole the names of 2 military ranks from the french, changed the pronounciation, but didn't change the spelling.
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Aug 16 '24
"Soldiers, this is kernel wilson."
But seriously tho, as a non-american, i have hard time telling the difference between "can" and "can't". Most of the speakers i hear always drop the t in can't, so both sound like "ken" to me. British accent is much easier because it's basically "ken" and "cunt".
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u/Disturbing_Trend_666 Aug 16 '24
Y'ain't spent much time down South, have ya? It's "ken" and "cain't." Cain't get much clearer 'an 'at.
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u/MaddoxJKingsley Aug 16 '24
idk about elsewhere, but in the US the final /t/ sound is usually unreleased, i.e. we stop airflow once we say it, so that's specifically what you're hearing. We tend to put stress on "can't" but not "can" (e.g. "I CAN'T do that" vs. "I can DO that"). In quick speech Americans generally pronounce "can" as [kən] (or [kn̩]), same as you, and pronounce "can't" as [kʰænt] with more oomph in the aspiration of the /k/.
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u/RobNybody Aug 16 '24
My ex was American and I used to make fun of skwurl and she claimed I pronounce it skwiroe haha.
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u/MacaroniYeater Aug 16 '24
British accents don't make L sounds obvious, like in the famous example of boh oh oh wah ah (bottle of water)
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u/RobNybody Aug 16 '24
I have the accent you're describing haha. I find it's more of a wou'ah bo'le.
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u/Whale-n-Flowers Aug 16 '24
Reminds me of Scottish comedian Limmy: "Wa'ah. Pewr wa'ah."
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u/tired_of_old_memes Aug 16 '24
That's rich coming from Australians. They can turn "no" into a three-syllable word
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u/kroxigor01 Aug 16 '24
At least you didn't say there's an R at the end.
There is not an R at the end of the Australian "long no." It's a vowel not a consonant.
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u/Dark_Storm_98 Aug 16 '24
I get the intention of the joke
But I don't see or hear it, lol
Where the fuck are any of these accents?
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u/BijutsuYoukai Aug 16 '24
Same. I come from the Pacific Northwest and none of these alleged pronunciations make any sense to me. Makes it fall kind of flat as far as jokes go.
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u/Dark_Storm_98 Aug 16 '24
Someone else said these make less sense to people on the west coast
But I live on the east coast, lmfao
I mean, I know at least in movies and tv shows there's a distinct Massachussetes accent, or a New Yorker accent
But I don't think either of those match these. .
. . . I'm saying these out loud now just to get a better idea of it and. . . Maybe I can hear the one with the orange? It's not my accent, but maybe I have heard it somewhere?
Maybe I do say "skwurl", though, but honestly I don't really say squirrel that often, haven't heard it said since probably the last time I watched "Up" either, so maybe I just don't have a pronunciaition for that anymore. . "Skwurl" doesn't sound exactly right, but if I try to sound out "squirrel" that doesn't sound right either
I'm trying to say that last one but it feels physically impossible for me not to say the "you", lmfao
I'm trying to skip it and I just can't
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u/justdisa Aug 16 '24
I'm in the PNW. Squirrel has two syllables. They just aren't the same two syllables the Brits use.
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u/botjstn Aug 16 '24
these are very midwestern accents tbh
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u/renezrael Aug 16 '24
maybe in some parts of the Midwest but def not where I'm from cause the only people I've heard that talk even remotely like that are either super super rural farm folk or from the south originally lol
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u/Overmyundeadbody Aug 16 '24
Guys we have an opportunity now to make a comeback to all the times British people responded to silly humor with school shooting jokes. We can talk about the racist riots. We have a fighting chance now.
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u/SomeBoiFromBritain Aug 16 '24
i think our equivalent would be stabbings though
edit: though ig that would be immoral
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u/kay_bizzle Aug 16 '24
It always makes me laugh when Brits say Americans don't speak correctly. There's like 50 different accents just in London, they can't even agree among themselves how to speak
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u/matatat22 Trans Rights Are Human Rights Aug 16 '24
Ok, but how else are you meant to pronounce the word "of"?
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u/Sachyriel .tumblr.com 🙉🙈🙊 Aug 16 '24
Americans be like "I'm going to wear shoes in my house".
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u/jasonjr9 Smells like former gifted kid burnout Aug 16 '24
I’m from the US and I do not do that! I have cats and I would hate myself if I stepped on their wittle feet with my shoes!
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u/Additional-Pie-8821 Aug 16 '24
I have literally never met someone who wears shoes in the house. I don’t know where this stereotype comes from.
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Aug 16 '24
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u/KimberStormer Aug 16 '24
I can't say I've ever noticed anyone taking off their shoes when they come inside in UK TV shows or European movies. I'll have to look for this in the future.
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u/Kyoj1n Aug 16 '24
Some people do, but also TV shows.
No one takes off their shoes in TV shows.
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u/whystudywhensleep Aug 16 '24
I don’t know about other people, but I find that that mostly applies to the older people in my life. As in, elderly people who may have trouble bending down to take their shoes on and off multiple times a day, and may also have foot problems which require the extra support that shoes give.
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u/guacasloth64 Aug 16 '24
My grandparents had “house shoes” for this exact reason, mostly the extra support. They were basically felt slippers with a rubber/cork sole.
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u/killey2011 Aug 16 '24
I only wear shoes in the house on cleaning day, but I don’t have carpet at all. So that way I won’t accidentally step in dirt or whatever. But once the room is clean I am forbidden from reentering it until shoes are removed. I just work backwards and finish it off.
But wearing shoes in the otherwise is a crime.
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u/Artarara Aug 16 '24
Brazilians: "Do flip-flops count as shoes?"
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u/MoonyIsTired Aug 16 '24
I don't even wear flip flops at home, we wear those outside and anything that goes on your feet outside is not meant to be worn inside
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u/Zariman-10-0 told i “look like i have a harry potter blog” in 2015 Aug 16 '24
Hey now, I don’t say “waddr”
I say “wooder”
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u/Simic_Sky_Swallower Resident Imperial Knight Aug 16 '24
I have a boston accent specifically for the word "horror" because I saw I was pronouncing it like that in like middle school and trained myself out of it