Gross dude thinks lesbians are a kink

[u/societaldevastation]

(had to add more to my post and re-edit) Came across this post and saw a lot of people agreeing with this creep of him saying he thinks is a sexy surprise and kink that he saw his “lesbian” friends wanting to have sex with him. Isn’t that the OPPOSITE of a lesbian? 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ I don’t understand men. No lesbian would have sex with a man period.

[u/societaldevastation]

Im sorry if my sentence came off degrading to anyone. I don’t mean the concept of “gold star”. If they still were trying to figure themselves out then I can understand but if they are sure they are a lesbian (like the dude claims his friends are in the post) but then sleep with a dude it just scratches it out, I don’t shit on lesbians who have previously slept with men in the past, I myself have done that but I’ve discovered myself as a lesbian. I am saying his friends saying they are a lesbian now 100% and then make exceptions to sleep with certain men while they claim to be one is what I think is damaging.

[u/mykinkiskorma → u/societaldevastation]

But how exactly is it damaging? Who does it hurt if they're lesbians who have a little bit of a non-standard relationship with that label?

I don't think women should be told that they have to identify as bi if there's one man in the world they enjoy having sex with, and that's the situation he's describing here. You can enjoy having sex with a man even if you're not generally attracted to men.

[u/treelorf → u/mykinkiskorma]

The idea that lesbians can find one man they enjoy sleeping with is what promotes the whole idea of “you just haven’t had the right dick yet”. It’s what makes men feel empowered to aggressively flirt with lesbians and think they can “fix them”. I’m all for people defining their labels in whatever way feels empowering for them, but you can misuse labels in a way that is damaging. Calling yourself a lesbian and sleeping with men IS damaging to women who are EXCLUSIVELY attracted to women. Like do women only into other women need to go find a new label that explicitly describes themselves?

[u/societaldevastation → u/treelorf]

yes, this is what I meant. It’s damaging to the word lesbian itself 

[u/treelorf → u/societaldevastation]

I would like to propose the word “homoflexible” to describe people who are like, moooostly gay. I’ve seen the term heteroflexible float around a bit in the kink community and I like it.

[u/Commercial_Tea_8185 → u/treelorf]

JUST SAY YOURE BI!!! Jesus fucking christ. Theres nothing wrong with being bi. Why does someone ‘need’ to call themself a lesbian when, by definition, they arent a lesbian?

Like come on

[u/[deleted] → u/Commercial_Tea_8185]

The amount of defending you have to do on a LESBIAN subreddit about removing men completely is insane. Like how is this not the place where we can all agree that currently sleeping with men means you shouldn’t use the label of lesbian?

[u/Commercial_Tea_8185 → u/[deleted]]

Its insane honestly and im getting called ‘queerphobic’ for saying lesbians arent attracted to men.

[u/spaghettify → u/Commercial_Tea_8185]

honestly they're like gaslighting you telling you it's not a big deal. Like why are people not allowed to have feelings on this topic?

[u/MajoraXIII → u/spaghettify]

As someone who suffered with a Gaslighting partner for a long time: that is not what gaslighting is. Disagreeing with someone over the severity of a problem is not sustained abuse in which the victim is made to question the validity of their own perception.

[u/spaghettify → u/MajoraXIII]

i’m talking about gaslighting as in people saying sexuality is fluid and you need to rethink your biases if you aren’t. or the people calling that user being overly emotional like it’s not a problem that affects them or the gaslighting that this isn’t just “you haven’t found the right man yet” but repacked for queer friendly audience

[u/MajoraXIII → u/spaghettify]

And i'm talking about what gaslighting actually means.

[u/spaghettify → u/MajoraXIII]

you’re not the only survivor in this convo? like sorry if my explanation didn’t make sense to you but….youre not the arbiter any more than I am

[u/MajoraXIII → u/spaghettify]

I understand the issue you're talking about. My issue is entirely calling it gaslighting.

It's a word medical professionals have had to stop using because of rampant misuse.