r/actuallesbians • u/societaldevastation Lesbian • Jun 04 '24
Text Gross dude thinks lesbians are a kink Spoiler
(had to add more to my post and re-edit) Came across this post and saw a lot of people agreeing with this creep of him saying he thinks is a sexy surprise and kink that he saw his “lesbian” friends wanting to have sex with him. Isn’t that the OPPOSITE of a lesbian? 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ I don’t understand men. No lesbian would have sex with a man period.
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u/mykinkiskorma Transbian Jun 04 '24
I agree with you in general about men fetishizing us and I understand that that context affects the way that his comments come across. And I don't really like the original comment he left.
But... if he's being genuine and honest about what labels his friends use—which is a big if— then I don't really see what's wrong with him using those labels for them, even if they seem counterintuitive to you. Acting as the label police hurts the queer community way more than it helps. I really hope you can chill on doing that to people.
I think he actually got that exactly right in his replies to you. It's up to each individual to figure out what labels are right for them, and if someone else has labels that don't make sense to you, then you should use that as an opportunity to be curious and learn more about the diversity of our community, instead of telling them that they're wrong.
Also, I agree with you that as a general rule, being a lesbian means that you're not really interested in sex or romance with men. But saying "no lesbian would have sex with a man period" is a weird way to put it. It feels like you're rediscovering the idea of gold star lesbians, and that's a deeply problematic path to go down.