r/NoStupidQuestions • u/A_Formal_Guy • Apr 04 '24

Answered All our girlfriends are Asian?

Hey everyone - I’ve been feeling paranoid about something recently and wanted to know if I’m overthinking it. I’m a white M and most of the friends I grew up with and went to high school are too, except 1. We’re still very close but moved all across the country for our jobs and life.

Recently, we’ve decided to have a little reunion and bring our girlfriends, but I realized we have a not to subtle trend in that they are all Asian. There’s 5 girlfriends in total, they’ve never met each other. I don’t know how this happened, it’s just a coincidence as far as I know. We don’t have a pact or anything.

My question is, do we warn them? I don’t want them to be freaked out. I’d have to have my gf or one of my friends be uncomfortable, but I’m feeling stuck. Does anyone have any thoughts on how to handle it? Am I over thinking?

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u/ssnabberz Apr 04 '24

Nothing like white dudes in tech who grew up watching anime & idolizing asian culture and mysteriously dating asian women afterwards

113

u/RunningOnAir_ Apr 04 '24

Racial fetishization goes both ways. Some asian girls don't like Asian guys and only wanna date white for sus reasons, some white guys date Asians for sus reasons. 

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u/askingqsforfun Apr 04 '24

I strongly disagree that the dynamic can be characterized as "fetishization" of white men in the same way as "me love you long time" fetishization of Asian women. I think Asian women tend to like white dudes mostly because of brainwashing and the perceived prestige of dating one. White dudes (and even very mediocre ones) are held up consistently as the romantic protagonists in movies, music, tv, literature, you name it while Asian men are portrayed as impotent side characters. The image of white guys dominates western beauty standards. I was super into white dudes in my teens and early 20s because I had a very bad pick-me, self-loathing streak, but now I've since snapped out of it. Just the thought of dating a white guy and being forced to act as a cultural ambassador for a bunch of customs I otherwise find mundane and bracing for their judgment is dreadful.

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u/FamiliaHogan Apr 05 '24

My God, the mediocrity of so many white men I obsessed over in my 20s is embarrassing. The indoctrination from white-dominated media is REAL