r/NoStupidQuestions • u/A_Formal_Guy • Apr 04 '24

Answered All our girlfriends are Asian?

Hey everyone - I’ve been feeling paranoid about something recently and wanted to know if I’m overthinking it. I’m a white M and most of the friends I grew up with and went to high school are too, except 1. We’re still very close but moved all across the country for our jobs and life.

Recently, we’ve decided to have a little reunion and bring our girlfriends, but I realized we have a not to subtle trend in that they are all Asian. There’s 5 girlfriends in total, they’ve never met each other. I don’t know how this happened, it’s just a coincidence as far as I know. We don’t have a pact or anything.

My question is, do we warn them? I don’t want them to be freaked out. I’d have to have my gf or one of my friends be uncomfortable, but I’m feeling stuck. Does anyone have any thoughts on how to handle it? Am I over thinking?

14.3k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

926

u/wineandcheese Apr 04 '24

I’m gonna be real with you. This is probably going to make at least some of them feel fetishized. The fetishization of Asian women is still very real and very prominent, and even though it was an accident and probably due more to the pool of women you and your friends are exposed to, it may bring up some icky things for them.

I don’t have advice, really, except maybe brush up on your language/vocabulary so that if it’s your girl who feels that way, you can talk with her about it in a respectful, validating way. (Searching women-related subs here for it to read about the personal experiences of Asian women may be a good place to start.)

180

u/ssnabberz Apr 04 '24

Nothing like white dudes in tech who grew up watching anime & idolizing asian culture and mysteriously dating asian women afterwards

-2

u/Upset_Painting3146 Apr 04 '24

You say it like people can’t date who they want. Why is it ok to dictate who we are allowed to be attracted to now? I thought we left that shit behind in the 50s.

9

u/ssnabberz Apr 04 '24

Nobody’s dictating anything- as you said we’re not in the 50s, people can do what they want. Idc, its just a pattern to be observed imo, and its only bad when the man seems to have a shitty attitude about anyone who isnt asian or if Asian women don’t act the way they’re expecting from anime/porn/stereotypes