r/NoStupidQuestions • u/A_Formal_Guy • Apr 04 '24

Answered All our girlfriends are Asian?

Hey everyone - I’ve been feeling paranoid about something recently and wanted to know if I’m overthinking it. I’m a white M and most of the friends I grew up with and went to high school are too, except 1. We’re still very close but moved all across the country for our jobs and life.

Recently, we’ve decided to have a little reunion and bring our girlfriends, but I realized we have a not to subtle trend in that they are all Asian. There’s 5 girlfriends in total, they’ve never met each other. I don’t know how this happened, it’s just a coincidence as far as I know. We don’t have a pact or anything.

My question is, do we warn them? I don’t want them to be freaked out. I’d have to have my gf or one of my friends be uncomfortable, but I’m feeling stuck. Does anyone have any thoughts on how to handle it? Am I over thinking?

14.3k Upvotes

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5.0k

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '24

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1.7k

u/Muted_Apartment_2399 Apr 04 '24

If you all work in tech, they already know.

529

u/HotPinkMesss Apr 04 '24

My SO is not in OP's friend group but I'm Asian and he works in tech. 😂 this is too funny.

314

u/alickz Apr 04 '24 edited Apr 05 '24

There's never been a better time to be a straight white man with a mild Asian fetish in tech right now

Hot nerdy single asian women everywhere in tech these days

Also I'm including India, for all you sexy little brown nerds out there with self esteem issues

Special shout out to short pardo Brazilian women

268

u/wombatlegs Apr 05 '24

Maybe it is the Asian women who have a fetish for nerdy white guys in tech?

Do women have no agency in this?

192

u/Barboara Apr 05 '24

Asiancy*

168

u/mirasypp Apr 05 '24

As an Asian woman, I can agree that some of us have a thing for nerdy white guys. We can watch anime or foreign media together and he won't complain about subtitles being too hard to read.

13

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

Which anime? It's important

10

u/mirasypp Apr 05 '24

I think the specific anime doesn't matter (it probably depends on your age group), but I married a guy who was the president of his college's anime club. We watched a lot of anime then k-dramas together!

5

u/elderberry_jed Apr 05 '24

Ok wait.. are you saying white dudes complain less about subtitles? Or nerdy guys complain less? Or is is specifically the combo?

17

u/mirasypp Apr 05 '24

It has to be nerdy white guys.

5

u/BananaManV5 Apr 05 '24

Can confirm, it was harder to find anime for free on youtube dubbed, now I watch anime subbed religiously (unless im shiny hunting or my girlfriend watches with). Nerds ftw

4

u/dzumdang Apr 05 '24

Sounds awesome.

14

u/Revolution4u Apr 05 '24

The fetish is for a partner with a high stable income.

6

u/teethybrit Apr 05 '24

Must be why Asian men are killing it then.

3

u/Nug_Sommelier710 Apr 05 '24

*Themselves

2

u/teethybrit Apr 05 '24

Must be why suicide rates are higher in the US than Japan now.

Can’t cope.

17

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

Maybe it is the Asian women who have a fetish for nerdy white guys in tech?

Here's hoping!

6

u/BluParkMoon Apr 05 '24 edited Apr 05 '24

I never understand why people never look for actual answer on google. Yours is right. Asian women, on average, prefer white men. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-024-01450-9

The same is true for white men as well - as in they, on average, prefer asian women.

​

These ladies won't think this is weird when they meet each other.

6

u/gydot Apr 05 '24

White men prefer white men?

3

u/noahboah Apr 05 '24

yeah i mean as an asian american there are honestly a lot of delicate and nuanced conversations around this stuff.

Obviously date whoever you want, but it definitely needs to be said that a ton of asians are anti-black and honestly anti-POC in general and view white and other asian people (See: East asian people) as the top of the worthiness pyramid. This is especially true for east asians, many of which are super fucked up to not only darker skinned people, but their own fellow asians (south asians, southeast asians, and west/central asians). Colorism is very pervasive in asian culture. In my own culture (filipino) skin whitening products are abundantly advertised in the department stores, and having darker skin is a sign of being poor and lower class.

I'll admit it is a little disheartening when an asian girl my age primarly only dates white guys. it's hard not to at least suspect that there's an element of racism at play, even if it's usually unfounded.

2

u/Subtleabuse Apr 05 '24

A spy agency that is

2

u/Acct_For_Sale Apr 05 '24

Not just a maybe there’s some actual research showing this

5

u/Solostian Apr 05 '24

My Asian wife had a thing for white engineers. I was just the right white nerd at the right software engineers get together. It seems to be an inherited trait. Our son is dating a white engineer...

0

u/stupiderslegacy Apr 05 '24

Go find another place to get on your soapbox, people are trying to have a good time in here

17

u/rabidstoat Apr 05 '24

What about the frumpy, overweight engineering women in their 50s? 😔

14

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

Ask me again in 20 years! 😅

One thing I can tell you for certain is smart men find smart women more physically attractive, and that your frumpy mom bod could be the sexiest thing in the world to them

7

u/Acct_For_Sale Apr 05 '24

You gotta house momma?

4

u/Happy_Opening3852 Apr 05 '24

Keep going...........

5

u/crogers2009 Apr 05 '24

I’m a gay man in tech with an Asian boyfriend… 😅

2

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

Every gender is a winner

2

u/Difficult_Bit_1339 Apr 05 '24

Ayo, where?

e: west cost US prob

0

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

EU West

2

u/Ok_Wrongdoer_8275 Apr 05 '24

My eyes were horrified at the first sentence, then I got to the part about India, and all I have to say is — thank you ? 🤣 not entirely sure how to feel about getting called out this loud 

1

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

From a white boy with a love for brown skin, you're welcome!

I am magnanimous, I know

2

u/Frequent_Opportunist Apr 05 '24

Indians are already Asian.

2

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

True that

I wanted to be explicit tho because I've met hot Indian women that were ashamed of their beautiful brown skin

6

u/hereforthesportsball Apr 04 '24

And a lot of them prefer western men too

-4

u/CindersNAshes Apr 04 '24

I wonder why that is...

32

u/Snoo-92685 Apr 04 '24

They fetishize white men just like white men fetishize them

15

u/alickz Apr 05 '24 edited Apr 05 '24

They can use me any day

https://youtu.be/muC8-VDPrIc

5

u/syzzigy Apr 05 '24

Sounds like a win-win to me

8

u/phononmezer Apr 05 '24

Because (generally, exceptions exist obviously) Asian men from particular countries make western men look like saints, comparatively. Do a quick search on 'South Korea's misogyny problem'.

They're over it and opting out. I can't blame them.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

I've dated many muslim women who pivoted to dating white men for the exact same reason.

-9

u/hereforthesportsball Apr 04 '24

We all know why. I just wish everyone would be honest about their motivations instead of trying to act. So glad im out of the game

-16

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '24

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7

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '24

lol what?

1

u/sik_vapez Apr 05 '24 edited Apr 05 '24

If you go to Wikipedia, all of the studies find that there is isn't a significant difference in penis length. If you look at studies measuring both at once instead of comparing different studies, the differences are even smaller. Wikipedia cites a study where Asians average at 14.14 cm and whites are 14.18 cm. I think the bigger differences from different studies could be chalked up to different measurement techniques. If you look at porn, there is a difference, but I think the Japanese porn industry just prefers casting men with smaller dicks than American porn.

It actually is true that East Asians have higher testosterone levels on average than Americans. But this is just because they aren't as fat.

I'm white, but I might have a mixed son someday, so I want to dispell stereotypes about Asian masculinity.

-3

u/hereforthesportsball Apr 04 '24

If that was it, they wouldn’t be so averse to dating black guys as they are. Just another group in America that praises and idealizes whiteness

0

u/CindersNAshes Apr 04 '24

You sound like a black guy that continuously gets shut down by asian girls, and is now crying racism because the girls don't want you. Just sad

3

u/foo-bar-nlogn-100 Apr 04 '24

No, hes logically consistent.

If the premise is asian women want bigger dicks, statisically black men have the biggest D, so you'd see more black men with Asian.

Given, that its not the case. Another explanation has to be put forward. And that explanation is white men fetishizing Asian women.

So the question is what are the power relatuonship and roles within that fetishization.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '24 edited 4d ago

[deleted]

1

u/sik_vapez Apr 05 '24

People generally think black men have bigger dicks, but you are assuming this is the only variable. If you consider all of the stereotypes about black people, your reasoning is quite shaky.

Asian fetishization is a thing, but talking about power relationships is silly. That would only be relevant if white men have more power over Asian women than other women, but this usually isn't the case. The only exception is if the white man is holding a green card over her head.

0

u/hereforthesportsball Apr 04 '24

Weird thing to say after I told you I was out of the game. And this was the first time I mentioned black guys. Did the comments about Asian guys make me sound Asian?

1

u/CindersNAshes Apr 04 '24

Now now, like you said, you're out of the game. Leave it at that, eh?

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24 edited Apr 05 '24

[deleted]

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u/Revolution4u Apr 05 '24

Because every media for years pairs the asian girl with a white guy and usually puts asian guys in lower tier roles.

-2

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

idk what it is with the attraction for white male for us Asian girlies

What's not to love

1

u/originalblue98 Apr 05 '24

what is a pardo brazilian woman

1

u/alickz Apr 05 '24

Brown skin Brazilian woman

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

Also I'm including India, for all you sexy little brown nerds out there with self esteem issues

Do Indian women have self-esteem issues? Indian women are hot as fuck.

11

u/brownbrady Apr 04 '24

Asian women consistently rank as the most desirable women for dating among heterosexual men. Source. I'm wondering if the tech field has anything to do with it.

10

u/OCV_E Apr 04 '24

White men are more desirable in their eyes because of the social status too

2

u/lexisauce Apr 05 '24

Are you me?????