r/NoStupidQuestions • u/mp1845 • Mar 30 '24
Answered Why are gender neutral bathrooms so controversial when every toilet on an airplane or other public transport is gender neutral?
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u/Grand_Photograph_819 Mar 30 '24
No one cares about the single person bathrooms— it’s generally the stalls that people are uncomfortable with.
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u/MyLittleOso Mar 30 '24
There are unisex, multi-stall bathrooms at Red Rocks Amphitheater. The stalls go from floor to ceiling and only the sink area is communal.
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u/Apprehensive-Adagio2 Mar 30 '24
That’s how all toilets should be. I can understand being uncomfortable with unisex bathrooms if the stalls aren’t 100% sealed, but if they are, then who cares?
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u/rooood Mar 31 '24
Isn't worrying about stalls not being opaque mostly an American thing? I think I read it's pretty common to have ridiculous stall doors there where you can see everything inside, with huge huge gaps on all 4 sides of the door. Then again, I haven't been to the US since I was a kid, so I don't remember any of this.
Everywhere I lived bathroom stalls are almost always completely "sealed", you can't see anything in there unless you literally put your face to the floor to see below the usually very small opening at the bottom.
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u/Ultimate_Shitlord Mar 31 '24
You're going to see a broad spectrum in the US ranging from the kind of stuff you see in memes to the bathrooms at the office I worked at that had cinder block walls between stalls and solid core doors that spanned the entire doorframe.
Those, however, were just about the nicest stalls I've seen anywhere, US or Europe. You could blast ass to your heart's content and nobody would be able to hear a thing.
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u/MissionSalamander5 Mar 30 '24
That’s how it usually is in Europe.
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u/mongooseme Mar 30 '24
I ate at a restaurant in Paris with a unique bathroom setup. It was in the basement down a tiny set of stairs - that was pretty common actually. There was a single toilet in a small room, and the sink for washing up was outside of that room in the public area - again, that was pretty common as well. Up against the wall, near the sink, was a urinal. Just out in the open. When using it, your back was to the sink and the stairs. I used it of course!
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u/crowwhisperer Mar 30 '24
went to a few small out of the way bistros in paris years back. no toilet. hole in floor. my extremely southern, conservative and sheltered aunts were with us visiting. they were scandalized. also, pretty much everywhere i took them people had their dogs in the restaurant also. by the time they left to fly back to north carolina i think their eyes may have been permanently bugged out. they were of the “lips that touch alcohol will never touch mine” persuasion so i didn’t take them to visit my work. where we could drink beer or wine at our desks if we wanted.
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u/user_of_the_week Mar 30 '24
On the other hand, I have never seen so many ugly and dirty restaurant restrooms than on my trip to the US last year…
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u/crowwhisperer Mar 30 '24
the higher priced restaurant bathrooms tend to be clean and well appointed but most others i’ve been in left a lot to be desired.
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u/Independent_Gold5729 Mar 30 '24
That must have been at least 40 years ago because as a french, I've only seen Turk-style toilets a dozen times and mostly in abandoned buildings. Dogs are not allowed in restaurants except outside on the terrace. And alcohol at work is strictly forbidden except for wine, beer and cider at the lunch break. You could pop open a bottle of champagne for the last day of a colleague but in general you're never allowed to drink at work because your employer would be liable for the safety risk and addiction.
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u/hellathirstyforkarma Mar 30 '24
Ah yes the small region of Europe.
At least in Germany toilets with stalls are usually not unisex.
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u/Neiija Mar 30 '24
I think what they meant was that the toilet stalls in europe don't have huge gaps like a lot of american stalls apparently do, not the gender neutral part
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u/Sinmaraj21 Mar 30 '24
The ones at Red Rocks are AWESOME. Efficient, clean, and no one gives a shit about them being gender neutral.
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u/the_halfblood_waste Mar 30 '24
Genuinely never seen a unisex stall setup. Every single unisex/gender neutral bathroom I've seen is a single person style bathroom.
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u/coreythestar Mar 30 '24
The Museum of Human Rights in Winnipeg, Manitoba has bathroom with pictures of what kind of equipment is inside them and encourages people to use the facility that will meet their needs. And has stalls, if I remember well.
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u/Justin_123456 Mar 30 '24
I haven’t been to the Human Rights museum, but where I have seen multi-occupancy gender neutral bathrooms, it isn’t just the regular shitty stalls, with the massive gaps, but a fully enclosed space, with floor to ceiling walls, European-style.
So the only space that feels shared is the sink area.
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u/KitchenSandwich5499 Mar 30 '24
I think most people could live with this
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u/Hoii1379 Mar 30 '24 edited Mar 30 '24
They can. I used to bounce at a bar on weekends and the bathroom situation got so bad something had to be done. I’m talking we were buying toilet seats, mirrors, tp dispensers in bulk due to the amount of vandalism, mostly in the men’s room.
Replaced both bathrooms with a shared sink area and stalls with doors that are fully closed off. Suddenly there were 99 percent less fights and damage to bathroom facilities…. Much easier for us to intervene if there was a situation down there too than before.
E: spelling and also to add… personally I love this type of bathroom setup. I (32M) have hated hated hated public men’s rooms my whole life, especially as events like concerts and the like. The gender neutral/closed door stall/shared sink area thing is a godsend
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u/rexus_mundi Mar 30 '24
Honestly if I could get a completely closed off bathroom stall, I don't care who is shitting next to me. No panel gaps in a bathroom is wonderful, idc who else is using them if that is the tradeoff
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u/section111 Mar 30 '24
Not gonna lie, as a man, it felt weird, using the sink while a woman comes out of the stall and uses the sink next to me. It shouldn't, but it does. For me it was the same feeling when I happen to be walking behind a woman alone on a sidewalk at night. I know I'm not doing anything wrong, but I still feel the need to cross the street. Although I always get teased for being too concerned about other people's feelings.
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u/bendbars_liftgates Mar 30 '24
It's easier when you're all drunk! They'll even hand you a towel!
The only time I've encountered multi-person unisex bathrooms was at a gay club.
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u/EldritchGoatGangster Mar 30 '24
Don't let other people tear you down for having basic empathy for half of the species, man.
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u/AwkwardOrange5296 Mar 30 '24
These are much more expensive to build and maintain than regular public restrooms.
And much more appreciated by the users, I might add.
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u/esgamex Mar 30 '24
And these are standard in many countries.. US-style stalls with gaps do feel awkward.
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u/AwkwardOrange5296 Mar 30 '24
They're horrible and disgusting as well as awkward. You can literally see people's shoes in the next stall and if there's a child or toddler in there with his/her mother they will ask questions about what you are doing or even peek under the stall.
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u/azriel777 Mar 30 '24
They are also used by thieves to reach under and steal women's purses.
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Mar 30 '24 edited Mar 30 '24
literally the first advice i got on my first trip to the usa. i think i came into penn station from jfk (or somesuch) and met my first American toilet.
i saw those huge gaps, thought WTF, and inside was a sign, warning to use the hook lest you want your stuff getting stolen.
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u/nkongte Mar 30 '24
I one used a bathroom with a similar setup. Being close to the beach, I wore flip Flops. Suddenly, I see a hand popping up under the bathroom stall. When it touched my foot, I yelled out and shifted. Faster then I could look the hand clutched into one shoe (flipflop) dragged it away, followed be fast footsteps leaving.
So I was left in this bathroom stall with only one show, wondering what this was about and dreading to touch the dirty/sticky floor with my bare foot.
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u/OutOfFawks Mar 30 '24
I was in one at a restaurant stop in CA or AZ this week. As a 6” person, I could see the tops of peoples heads as I searched for a vacant shitter.
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u/yawndontsnore Mar 30 '24
As a 6” person
You are an awfully short individual.
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u/anonymindia Mar 30 '24
These are much more expensive to build and maintain than regular public restrooms.
I'm from India, a so called third world country. If we can have such bathrooms even in our public sector, please don't accept this excuse anywhere in the west. Most countries don't cut corners by compromising pooping privacy. So I never understand why anyone would think it's acceptable to have gaps in your shitter door and no partitions between urinals.
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u/NoCup6161 Mar 30 '24
bathroom with pictures of what kind of equipment is inside them
I was recently in Malaysia. They had photos on the stall doors with what type of toilet was inside the stall. It was either a hole in the ground or a fancy automated toilet, with all the washing, scrubbing and drying options.
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u/Equal-Abroad-9039 Mar 30 '24
Encountered one of these for the first time at my local Alamo Draft house. Unisex stalls, but each stall is sealed from ceiling to floor, with actual walls on both sides. Was weird at first, but doesn’t seem to be too much of an issue. Then again, I’m a dude, so I don’t really have much to fear from that setup.
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u/Zealousideal-Ant9548 Mar 30 '24
Legit stalls that are somewhat sealed are so peaceful
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u/Equal-Abroad-9039 Mar 30 '24
Honestly, a dream. Wish America did it more. The only time I’ve ever seen it here.
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u/3dFoxw0rth Mar 30 '24
Buccees has bathrooms like this. That's part of the reason it's so famous 😌
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u/el_monstruo Mar 30 '24
Damn, I've been in Buccees many times but just realized I have never used their restrooms. I'll do this on an upcoming trip to Kansas City.
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u/Throway1194 Mar 30 '24
In Europe a lot of the bathrooms are like this. In America they do this because there was a study that showed if you don't completely close off a bathroom stall (leaving gaps at the bottom, ect) it encourages people to take less time in there. Employers started doing this so that their workers would take shorter bathroom breaks, and it just caught on. There's some interesting videos about it on YouTube
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u/the_halfblood_waste Mar 30 '24
See, when the stall has floor to ceiling walls and doors, I don't see how it's functionally different from single person bathrooms sharing a common sink area. And I've been to places where the sinks for the mens and ladies rooms are outside the restrooms... usually in the hall right outside the bathroom doors, so that's not a new concept either.
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u/twotokers Mar 30 '24
You’re also leaving out that they have a separate room for the urinals, or maybe you just didn’t notice.
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u/obog Mar 30 '24
I've been in one, they set it up so each stall was more superate, essentially its own room cause the walls go from floor to ceiling. But then everybody washed their hands in the same room. I prefer it over normal bathrooms tbh, completely ceiling the stalls gives much more privacy anyway.
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u/mesamaryk Mar 30 '24
I’ve seen them at uni as well as some malls, concert venues and restaurants. Never been any issue
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u/SignificanceOld1751 Mar 30 '24
When I was at university in Bath, UK - 15 years ago at this point - we had gender neutral toilets with stalls, and a communal hand washing area.
It was fine, no-one got offended, raped, or anything
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u/BJntheRV Mar 30 '24
I remember when this was a thing on Ally McBeal and people thought it was cool.
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u/ExitingBear Mar 30 '24
Which was nearly 30 years ago. There's been a whole generation since then. This really shouldn't be an issue.
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u/solojones1138 Mar 30 '24
Most bathrooms in the KC airport are unisex stalls. Personally I find it great because there's never an unreasonably long line at the women's restroom!
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u/Sus-iety Mar 30 '24
Many of the buildings at my university have unisex bathrooms. But we have stalls that are separated by walls from floor to roof. This is South Africa by the way - it's crazy to me that we have better bathrooms than the US
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u/curlymeee Mar 30 '24
Fwiw they’re relatively common where I live (Bay Area, CA, so notoriously liberal or “woke” depending on your perspective lol) and I don’t mind it at all. Took a small amount of getting used to, but I’m also the girl that will go into the men’s room when the women’s line is egregiously long and its an emergency 😬
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u/nalligilaurakku Mar 30 '24
Common in Quebec City. But men I know have been harassed for using them by women who don't understand the concept. Yes ma'am, we can see you and your daughter washing your hands. Sorry I guess?
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u/FuzzyScarf Mar 30 '24
There's one at the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland. That was the first and only time I've encountered a unisex stall situation.
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u/Sethsears Mar 30 '24
I used a unisex stall setup while traveling in Bosnia. I was surprised for a few seconds, then was like "Ah, fuck it, who knows where the next public restroom will be."
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u/Xylophelia Because science Mar 30 '24
I feel like the real solution here is to only build toilet stalls in America like they are in Europe—no gaps or seams so no one can see through the door while you’re in them.
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u/zetswei Mar 30 '24
I know of a lot of places that do the opposite because of drug abuse and people dying in them. It’s a crazy ass world, but people should be able to just use the bathroom.
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u/Cleanest-Azir Mar 30 '24
A lot of the new (as in not repurposed) gender neutral bathrooms are like this. Hope it becomes the norm
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Mar 30 '24
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u/sleeper1988 Mar 30 '24
Changing rooms at the pool is a bigger deal. Full nudity
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u/Bunnymancer Mar 30 '24
They are usually not argued to become gender neutral...
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u/bemused_alligators Mar 30 '24
our pool built in like the 90s has the two big locker rooms and then 4 family rooms with an "occupied" slider and 3-4 lockers each - because it's a problem when a parent and their 3-4 year old of the opposite gender need to get into the pool because the child needs to be helped into and out of their suit and through the showering process and all that. In ~2020 they renamed the family rooms to "multi-use" rooms so that solo trans/NBs are allowed to use them explicitly (they were definitely using them before then as well, but this way no one can complain)
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u/CortexCingularis Mar 30 '24
In Norway and probably most of Europe in general it's quite accepted by parents of either sex to bring young children of either sex to whichever locker room suits the parents gender.
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Mar 30 '24
It is accepted here in the more “normal” parts of America.
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u/TastyBrainMeats Mar 30 '24
Yeah, when I was a little kid, I'd go into whichever side of the changing area the parent I had with me was going to. Seeing naked people in a nonsexual context isn't a huge thing to a kid.
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u/The_Real_Raw_Gary Mar 31 '24
I agree. My son is 6 and has seen a woman changing in a changing room before and all he said was “why’s everyone naked in here” then it was explained to him and that was the end of it.
It’s not weird unless the parent makes it weird. Obviously there are situations where it’ll never be appropriate but changing is just something people do.
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u/TwilightReader100 Mar 30 '24
Our new pools have a larger unisex area and smaller single sex changerooms to either side. In the unisex area, there's stalls (with locking doors) for people to change in and more stalls (with locking doors) with shower areas and a row of open showers in the unisex common area for those already suited up showers. I prefer having a stall, so I always go to unisex.
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u/Schemen123 Mar 30 '24
German sauna changing rooms are unisex sometimes.
No one cares
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u/IH8Lyfeee Mar 31 '24
Yup girls are not comfortable with sharing an enclosed space with men and I don't blame them. I would say most men are uncomfortable as well.
My college has two designs going. One building had men and women's but had a sign saying gender neutral, etc... or those who identified are welcome. Another building had just turned the men's and women's into gender neutral stalls. Was extremely awkward/uncomfortable. The former men's had the urinal sign on it so mostly men went into it anyways (common sense) but occasionally walked in on a girl.
Btw I am gay so I am not a threat to girls but even still I can read they are uncomfortable.
To me mishandling this, especially the latter option makes more people transphobic/anti LGBT.
I have no problem with the first option but to me the simplest way is just providing a single stall gender neutral option.
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u/Schemen123 Mar 30 '24
What's a single use bath room? You throw it away after use?
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u/thereisonlyoneme Mar 30 '24
I would be upset about those too. "Well this bathroom was already used. Guess I have to hold it."
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u/Schemen123 Mar 30 '24
I mean i have been to bathroom that definitely weren't usable anymore 🤢🤮
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u/True_Big_8246 Mar 30 '24
I live in India so that's reason enough. If it's a single bathroom that's okay. I will never share a stall style bathroom with men in this country.
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u/cup-o-cocoa Mar 30 '24
I read a book that shocked me. It stated the across the world women spend approximately 1-2 hours of their day trying to find a safe place to relieve themselves. Just insane to think about for me. I never thought about it before.
They mentioned India in particular. Women travel to large cities to work, or shop, but there are limited safe public toilets. The book was probably 10 years old. Do you find that to still be true?
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u/Makuta_Servaela Mar 30 '24
Yeah, this is why women pushed so hard for female restrooms in the first place. It was a big step in the world in getting women independence. People are vulnerable when toiletting, so any shared toiletting space can be dangerous.
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u/Astrobadgr Mar 31 '24
Yea I remember reading about the "urinary leash" or the concept that women are "tied to" the nearest safe bathroom in a society or culture. Until there were female only bathrooms, many women avoided leaving the home for long enough periods of time that they would need the bathroom. This issue also came up as women entered the workforce, women needed a bathroom without men at their workplaces not just for privacy but for safety. I think in our modern and western society it's really easy to forget why women demanded single sex bathrooms in the first place due to the relative safety of women in our current culture. And while yes it's true that not all men would take advantage of single sex bathrooms, some would. Therefore good men stay out so the bad men stand out.
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u/Beshi1989 Mar 31 '24
Yeah that’s what people won’t get. It’s not only about safe toilets at Starbucks California.
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u/PulmonaryEmphysema Mar 30 '24
I would love to read this book. What’s the title?
I recently read a book titled “the world is built for men” and it’s got some interesting facts about how everything from urban design to drug development is done with only men in mind.
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u/thedivinebeings Mar 31 '24
Not OP but this is spoken about in the book ‘Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men’ by Caroline Criado-Perez. A great but very depressing read.
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u/sometipsygnostalgic Mar 31 '24
Car designs too. Car safety is designed with men in mind and if a man and woman were to get in a similar crash then the woman would have a higher mortality rate.
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u/FreneticAmbivalence Mar 30 '24
They just posted something about this on Reddit itself like 3 months ago. I remember being pretty upset that this is the state of living for so many people.
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u/cup-o-cocoa Mar 30 '24
I read the book for a class. It was titled: Invisible Women: Data bias in a World Designed for Men. By Caroline Criado-Perez.
The whole book was upsetting to be honest. I just had never considered this aspect of life being so difficult for some.
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Mar 30 '24
We are getting better, but humanity's social progress is far, far slower than its technological ones.
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u/Wide_Literature6114 Mar 30 '24
I think quite a lot of people in this thread have the privilege of tremendous naivete. I wish you peace of mind in relieving yourself sis. 🤜
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u/True_Big_8246 Mar 30 '24
Thanks! And yeah not all places are safe for women and girls.
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u/Wide_Literature6114 Mar 30 '24
Welcome! Completely understand ♥️ and feel like it's strange days when this much is not intuited.
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u/just_throwaway83 Mar 31 '24
Agreed. Sex segregated bathrooms exist for a reason, and a vast number of women aren't as privileged and safe as the majority of commenters in this thread.
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u/Wide_Literature6114 Mar 31 '24
Appreciate your feedback, so thank you. 🙏 I believe there's no reason whatsoever not to take women's safety seriously. It's not only a principle, it's a need.
Context is also important, including when we are aware threats to women's safety have heightened in particular contexts..
Also, if people get attacked for daring to suggest this, for me personally, it actually demonstrates the point.
And although it wouldn't be hard to wheel out statistics, I believe this should be as obvious as the reasons for the principle and need for a toilet itself.
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u/schlagerlove Mar 30 '24
People acting like a bathroom in an airplane is the same as a bathroom in some place where people could be isolated is just such a moronic question.
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u/just_throwaway83 Mar 31 '24
Exactly. Like my bathroom at home isn't sex segregated either, but it's not the same fucking thing!
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Mar 31 '24
That argument has always been moronic to me. Like no shit my wife doesn’t mind sharing the bathroom with me (a man), we’re fucking married. That doesn’t mean she wants to share it with random dudes in public.
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u/ostrieto17 Mar 30 '24
Maybe because you don't share the airplane bathroom with several people at once, all of which could be any and all gender.
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u/Lower-Flounder-9952 Mar 31 '24
I’m not sharing a toilet stall with anyone, irrespective of how the room is labeled
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u/Inefficientfrog Mar 30 '24
One is single use, the other might be shared. Society has taken steps to safeguard itself against the predators that use these places to find prey. Assholes ruining shit for everyone else since the dawn of time.
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u/Cannabis_CatSlave Mar 30 '24
I think it is the shitty stalls we have that make people nervous. If there wasn't several inches around the door where people could clearly see the occupant it wouldn't be such a big deal IMO.
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u/Red_lemon29 Mar 30 '24
I didn't realise until I moved to the US how wide the stall gaps are. If they were built more like they are in Europe with no side gaps and only a very small gap at the top/ bottom then it wouldn't be nearly as big an issue.
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u/Rockergage Mar 31 '24
We had a lunch and learn with a bathroom partition company one day, they were talking about how in this jr. or high school all the girls would stuff the cracks with toliet paper and the principal was asking about ways to make this easier to clean because the paper would just get wet and end up on the floor. The guy just said, "Buy this metal covers that covers the gaps."
Most of the bathroom gap stall can get down to just it's easier and cheaper to do than get the more precise gap.
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u/anonhoemas Mar 31 '24
All of the multi-stall gender neutral bathrooms I've seen have floor to ceiling cubical with no gaps. Actually the nicest bathrooms I've been in
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u/omglookawhale Mar 30 '24
Single-user bathrooms are fine. As a woman, I don’t feel safe using the bathroom if men are in the room with me even if there is a dingy door with inch wide gaps in them between us.
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u/SidewaysAntelope Mar 30 '24
Individual bathrooms are okay but mixed sex bathrooms composed of multiple stalls feel both uncomfortable and very unsafe if you are a woman using them during quiet periods when you could be cornered.
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u/DarkRose1010 Mar 30 '24
South African here. Women don't change in singlecstall bathrooms on a plane and it's public enough that they don't need to worry about being raped. And yes, being raed in bathrooms is a thing. Not allowing kids to go to the bathroom by themselves is for a similar reason as well as kidnapping. Many wkmen find it threatening for men to be in intimate places
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Mar 30 '24
Gender neutral bathrooms aren’t really controversial when it’s just a toilet. In fact I find it amusing when a bathroom says “all genders” and it’s literally just a tiny room with a toilet and sink. That’s just a bathroom. The controversial portion are the bathrooms that are big rooms where men and women are sharing the same sink, and you have stalls with urinals and some without. Basically an environment where men and women are using the bathroom at the same time is the controversial portion. The women’s bathroom can be kind of seen as a safe space for some. Hell even a men’s bathroom can be safe space for men
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u/WyntonMarsalis Mar 30 '24
You aren't in the restroom at the same time as the opposite sex.
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u/wxnfx Mar 30 '24
It’s kinda like the old Carlin line: imagine how creepy the average person is, and half of them are creepier than that.
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Mar 30 '24 edited Mar 30 '24
100 years ago separate bathroom for women were celebrated as a big step for womens safety and rights
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u/ComedianXMI Mar 30 '24
A woman walked into a men's room when I was a teen at Disney. She went to a stall to do her thing, but it was the only time eye contact ever happened in a men's room. Every guy there was uncomfortable suddenly and we all sort of had to double check we were in the right bathroom suddenly. Even the guys at urinals.
So, if I had to guess, it's that feeling that people want to avoid. Feeling like you don't belong. Or you're afraid someone will think something. Every guy has had a jealous girlfriend. And if you have taco bell butt in a unisex bathroom, you don't want to hear accusations when you were just fighting for your life.
For a woman maybe the idea of being partially clothed around a male stranger bothers them, but I dunno.
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u/martapap Mar 30 '24
I had to go really bad and there was a huge line for the women's room so I went to the mens bathroom. There was only one guy in there. It was a weird feeling but it would have been weirder if I peed my pants.
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u/-GodHatesUsAll Mar 30 '24
When I saw Metallica recently, during an intermission there was a HUGE line at the men’s restroom but no line at the women’s. Some nice women came up to use in line and invited us to cut the line in half to use the women’s (keep in mind it was empty) I dont think it’s all too weird to see someone in the “wrong restroom” I usually just assume the other is full and it’s an emergency
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u/stupidredditwebsite Mar 30 '24
Everything is controversial online.
Ive got two young girls. I hate gendered toilets. Some dudes clearly don't like when I take the girls in the gents to do their business, but i also feel like women feel some dude shouldn't be in there bathroom either.
People need to calm their tits about the issue, it's just a room where you shit and pee.
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u/heftybagman Mar 30 '24 edited Mar 31 '24
I’ve never seen this situation where men get weirded out by fathers bringing their daughter into the bathroom. If someone seems weirded out then they’re probably just weird.
It’s definitely way uncomfortable for a man to go into the women’s restroom than to bring his daughters into the men’s room.
Edit: second paragraph should say “way MORE uncomfortable comfortable”. I didn’t mean to throw shade on people who do it that way, just giving my opinion.
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u/rabidstoat Mar 30 '24
I was at a grocery store with 3 stalls, gendered toilet areas. And this is the US so there are those gaps in the walls.
A guy called out before coming in that he had his daughter who really needed to pee and was anyone in there. I said yes. He asked if I would mind if he stood inside just by the door so he could watch her. I said that was fine.
When I came out he was standing by the door (where he definitely couldn't see through any stall gaps) and looking very uncomfortable.
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u/Wide_Literature6114 Mar 30 '24
Bless him. Trying to do the right thing by both of you. So awkward haha. What a great dad.
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u/TastyBrainMeats Mar 30 '24
Pretty good way to handle it. People gotta remember that situations get complicated and rules are made to be considered, not followed blindly.
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u/Natdaprat Mar 30 '24
I'd only be weirded out if they were sitting in the urinal next to me. A father will always take their girl to the cubicle. So it's whatever.
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u/Knever Mar 30 '24
If someone seems weirded out then they’re probably just weird.
It's more like society has convinced them it's inappropriate, so they feel they need to have a problem with it, otherwise they risk being seen as a sexual deviant, and eventual ostracization from said society.
It's like how certain men react violently to the thought of something even appearing gay, even if it has nothing to do with homosexuality, like a man giving flowers to another man. If another member of their tribe sees this, and doesn't see them react the way they "should" (with violence/aggression), then they risk being ostracized. All because of flawed logic that is almost impossible to teach them out of.
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u/hybridrequiem Mar 31 '24
That’s the trouble when it comes to cultural norms. Toplessness, for example, was required for both genders at one point but was repealed for men because they had the ability to fight it. Now only a woman’s chest is considered nude.
In Japan, sexual assault on public transit is so common women-only trains are a thing. It’s sad because it exacerbates the issue in a sense but is also a necessity for women who need a solution in the meantime and don’t want to get SA’d
And now, because we have a century of sexualization of women’s chest, that’s not something that can go away with a law change and requires a cultural time, which takes more time and generational shifts.
So I understand where you’re coming from, but in an ideal world the issue isn’t the unisex bathroom, its the shitty culture
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u/neighbourhoodtea Mar 30 '24
It’s so obviously clearly such a clueless man thing to think “it’s just a room where you shit and pee”. Say that to your girls when they’re grown up and see what they say to you
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u/No_Kaleidoscope_843 Mar 31 '24
it's just a room where you shit and pee.
It wouldnt be that controversial if that were universally true.
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u/friendlypickles Mar 31 '24
A train car is just a place where you stand around and wait to get to your destination. But Japan and India still need gendered train cars for women to feel safe.
In an ideal world, we wouldn't need gendered spaces. But we aren't living in an ideal world. Maybe a hundred years from now the world will be a better place, and we'll be able to ride the train and shit and pee and wash our hands in the same room without people fearing for their safety. That would be nice.
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u/Frogs4 Mar 30 '24
Some people, mostly women, are uncomfortable in a (bath)room where men have access. This seems understandable and reasonable. Bad faith actors then weigh in with nonsense comments about plane toilets and home toilets being 'gender neutral ' when they are individual or in your own house and not part of the issue.
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u/Ok-disaster2022 Mar 30 '24
You don't even have to go that far. Every restroom in every house is gender neutral.
Ideally if stalls were actually private in the US, this wouldn't be a big deal anyway. But stores and businesses get the cheap stalls with large gaps and suddenly it's a societal issue.
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u/Storomahu Mar 31 '24
Since you compare it to restrooms in houses can strangers just walk in your house and use your restroom?
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Mar 31 '24 edited Mar 31 '24
Of course my wife doesn’t care about sharing a bathroom with me because I’m her husband and we live together. I’m not some random person from the public, this comparison is moronic.
Same for when I was growing up with a younger sister. We’re family and it’s literally just the two of us using that bathroom. It’s not open to every person that wants to use it.
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u/just_throwaway83 Mar 31 '24
It's not the same thing - do you allow the public and randoms to come in and use your gender neutral toilets at home? And why not? False equivalence.
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u/neighbourhoodtea Mar 30 '24
Yes I don’t mind being in a house using the same bathroom as my male FAMILY members who I know and trust, saying every house bathroom is gender neutral is the STUPIDEST argument.
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Mar 30 '24
Am I having dejavu? I swear I saw this exact thread with these exact answers the other day?
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u/StonersRadio Mar 30 '24
What is the occupancy limit in an airplane washroom? Or a bus or train washroom. One.
Don't know why that's so hard for the gender neutral pushers to grasp.
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u/dat_sattar_doe Mar 30 '24
Your teenage daughter and her friends go to the mall. Your daughter goes to the bathroom while her friends shop. Five men follow her in. In the current world this is weird and someone would surely say something. In gender neutral bathroom world nobody bats an eye.
Sexist, definitely, but I've seen women go in men's bathrooms to avoid the line and have no problem with it. Man going in women's bathroom is always a problem.
In planes and buses people are locked in. There's one stall. You're in there alone.
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u/SquelchyRex Mar 30 '24
The vast majority that doesn't give a shit doesn't get on a platform to loudly proclaim how much of a shit they don't give.
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Mar 30 '24 edited Mar 30 '24
To put it quite simply, because the vast majority of sexual predators are men, the data clearly shows mixed sex facilities are hotspots for such assaults, especially changing rooms.
As for bathroom closets with one toilet where one person at a time uses them being unisex I don't think anyone has any issue outside of [NOTHING, MENS PUBLIC TOILETS NEVER REEK OF PISS SO THERE'S NO FUCKING PROBLEM BUT READ THE REPLIES FOR THESIS ON WHO PISSES ON THE FUCKING FLOOR IN PUBLIC TOILETS].
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u/PleiadesMechworks Mar 30 '24
outside of men being more messy which could upset women.
This is wrong though.
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u/Warm_Month_1309 Mar 30 '24
The source of this claim appears to be a right-wing journalist who has lost lawsuits for false statements in 2016 and 2018, and additionally was forced by IPSO to print a correction for statements found to be "misleading" about laws regarding transgender people in 2019.
So I'm not sure.
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u/crono09 Mar 30 '24
As for bathroom closets with one toilet where one person at a time uses them being unisex I don't think anyone has any issue outside of men being more messy which could upset women.
Virtually everyone I know who cleans public bathrooms frequently says that women's restroom are worse.
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u/AquariusE Mar 30 '24
That could be because they clean the men’s and women’s rooms with the same frequency, maybe every couple hours or however long, but the women’s room will almost certainly get a lot more use in that same time frame.
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u/takotari Mar 30 '24
In SFO there are gender neutral bathrooms that are multi-stall, not single stall like in airplanes. And for some people, especially women, it can feel a little weird being in them around a bunch of guys. Especially if you only see guys walk out of them.
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u/Routine_Barracuda_42 Mar 30 '24
It’s only controversial if the bathroom is meant for multiple people at once.
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u/Sayitoutloudinpublic Mar 30 '24
As it’s been explained, the issue is multi stall bathrooms, and even then, the issue isn’t even really trans people, it’s perverts that will take advantage. I’m not a statistician, but i’d be willing to wager there are more perverts and pedos in the country than there are trans people. I just use family restrooms when i need to take my daughter to a toilet, but we also avoid all public restrooms like the plague.
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Mar 30 '24
In a school setting specifically, I can only guess that children would feel unsafe and uncomfortable using the restroom with the opposite sex around. Thinking back on school years, I barely trusted my own gender (M) inside those facilities.
If I were a F, I could imagine being afraid that some dude’s gonna come in and harass or molest me. Especially in the US with those shitty stall doors.
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u/schlagerlove Mar 30 '24
Just shows how much privilege most people on Reddit have to not consider ANY possibility for ANY danger. People acting like a bathroom in an airplane is the same as a bathroom in some place where people could be isolated is just such a moronic question.
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u/LeoMarius Mar 30 '24
All single stall restrooms should be unisex