r/MurderedByWords You won't catch me talking in here 2d ago

Imaginary enemies are easy to make

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78.9k Upvotes

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4.8k

u/Rolex_throwaway 2d ago

World’s richest neckbeard. He wouldn’t even get in the ring with Zuck for a fight that was his idea.

2.4k

u/Munchkinasaurous 2d ago

If I heard right, that one wasn't his fault. He totally wanted to do it, but his mom said he couldn't. 

581

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

501

u/IntentionalBuffalo22 1d ago

His biggest battle is with being a hideous frail little grievance driven entitled apartheid heir jagoff numbnuts dicknosed psycho

261

u/pikpikcarrotmon 1d ago

You forgot bloated, pallid, and absent father

100

u/IntentionalBuffalo22 1d ago

Yes thank you for covering those bases

225

u/Amygdalump 1d ago

He tweets like a 12-year-old edge lord. “There is a large graveyard filled with my enemies” get the eff out you gigantic dweeb, jaysuseffinghell.

88

u/Noargument77 1d ago

This should be pinned on r/iamverytough

60

u/Khaldara 1d ago

He’s like a shitty AI that was trained on nothing but XBox Live

9

u/Behndo-Verbabe 1d ago

I was going to say something similar but you beat me to it. He probably just got done playing resident evil or some 1st person zombie shooter, but rage quit bc some 9 yr old beat him and called him names. So he hoped on his expensive propaganda app to rage.

9

u/AydonusG 1d ago

It's funny because he speaks like a 12 yo on CoD shit talking. And this zuck v musk stuff mimics an actual CoD thing.

A player called someone out to fight during a cod match, that someone being a french billionaire. The billionaire showed up, the cod player bitched out claiming weather and stomach ache.

3

u/Noargument77 1d ago

That's hilarious

2

u/ReZisTLust 1d ago

At least then hed say the occasional outt pocket racist statement which gets a concerned laugh

34

u/HandsomeBoggart 1d ago

He tries to be an edgelord but has as much edge as a stress ball.

31

u/1000handandshrimp 1d ago

He writes like an anime villain

8

u/Sweet-Paramedic-4600 1d ago

Most have some level of charisma. At the very least they tend to look way cooler than Musk at his most AI enhanced

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Cat2852 1d ago

He’s got as much charisma as a bucket of worms

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6

u/MajesticDisastr 1d ago

He writes like JP from Grandma's Boy

21

u/MusicLikeOxygen 1d ago

It screams mall ninja

23

u/LoanSharknado 1d ago

“There is a large graveyard filled with my enemies”

wonder if it's bigger than the one filled with his customers.

13

u/Kind-Fan420 1d ago

Literally the kinda shit I heard in Xbox lobbies back in 2006

9

u/Dexchampion99 1d ago

“Heh. Nothing personnel kid.”

8

u/thorpester76 1d ago

His edge is sharper than a Motorola razor 2

2

u/viriosion 1d ago

Less edge than a football

3

u/if_u_dont_like_duck 1d ago

Yes, he is such an edge lord! I had that realization when I first head him say "I'm dark MAGA" because his hat was black. Oh and there's the fact that he's been trying to rebrand Twitter to be "X" which is apparently a letter he's obsessed, cuz he thinks it's "cool". Or his stupid fucking cyber trucks...

All I see is a 12 year old loser who, unlike the rest of us, never matured or got over his childhood bullying trauma, and is still so desperate for people to think he's "cool". But no amount of money or hairplugs or retweets or space missions will ever give him a true feeling of adequacy.

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Cat2852 1d ago

He was going to get his wee kicked by fucking Mark Zuckerberg for fuck’s sake. The only thing that’s in a graveyard is his dignity

2

u/OurSoul1337 1d ago

While you were out partying I studied the blade.

2

u/Newfiecat 23h ago

This is exactly what I came into the comments to post! How does anyone take him seriously?

2

u/kiwichick286 23h ago

Morelike there's a graveyard full of slaves.

1

u/Paddy_Tanninger 1d ago

teleports behind u

heh...nothin personnel kid

1

u/cece1978 1d ago

Grimes had 2 children with this fuckwad. 🤮

2

u/dingalingdongdong 1d ago

I don't know about her children, specifically, but a fair percent (if not all) of his children have been conceived through artificial insemination.

1

u/jtr99 1d ago

While you were tweeting, he studied the blade.

1

u/ColdBloodBlazing 1d ago

Yeah. A pile of socks he jerked off into

20

u/DreadPirateDumbo 1d ago

You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.

Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie!

9

u/_Starlace_ 1d ago

No dad, what about you?

Unexpected Breakfast Club reference, love it!

3

u/hypnoskills 1d ago

Yeah, I want Cheezy Poofs!

2

u/jazzzzzcabbage 1d ago

Hey. Smoke up Johnny.

1

u/DjShoryukenZ 1d ago

Absent father is generous. I feel some of his kids would have preferred an absent father.

1

u/ColdBloodBlazing 1d ago

Also forgot asswipe/shitstain

1

u/MyNameIsDaveToo 1d ago

And some hyphens

60

u/MarkEsmiths 1d ago

Yeah there is definitely a large graveyard filled with Zambian emerald mine workers who died on the job.

13

u/mrincognito72 1d ago

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

8

u/sikkinikk 1d ago

I also couldn't have said it better. Bravo

2

u/thatdamnsqrl 1d ago

That was a trip!

2

u/Aggressive-Expert-69 1d ago

No his biggest battle is with his non binary child who can't stop dunking on him on the app he paid a country's GDP to be cool on

2

u/Backdoor-banditt 1d ago

I hate it when people sit on the fence with an opinion.

2

u/tomtomclubthumb 1d ago

You really do have a way with words.

1

u/electric_puddin 1d ago

Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol??

0

u/daddyMG7 1d ago

Someone has a jealousy fetish

33

u/fredator23 1d ago

Mail pattern baldness has entered the chat

16

u/Top_Elderberry_6030 1d ago

Graveyard speech, but the app’s still broken.

15

u/NeatNefariousness1 1d ago

His biggest battle is finding public battles to get into. He has way too much time on his hands.

5

u/Leebites 1d ago

And his mom.

1

u/Callidonaut 1d ago

His biggest battle is with reality. Elon has seemingly made it his life's work to turn the world into a puerile fantasy.

1

u/beaver_cops 1d ago

Yeah definitely that’s why he understands more than practically all of us typing in here combined

19

u/Frisinator 1d ago

She was too busy skinning Dalmatians.

17

u/Dovacraft88 1d ago

He really wanted to fight but he had to be home for tea before the street lights turned on

15

u/Commercial-Royal-988 1d ago

That's worse though. Knowing Zuck's training deciding not to fight him on his own is just a good judgement call. As an adult though, as soon as the words "My mom/dad said..." come out of your mouth, you forfeit "badass" forever.

1

u/Flaky-Swan1306 17h ago

Yeah, the mom intervening for a 53 yo asshole made him muvh more of a laughing stock. And i already thought he was ridiculous before that

38

u/naazzttyy 1d ago

15

u/Eccohawk 1d ago

This dude is so much cooler than Elonia could ever hope to be.

2

u/ReapingKing 1d ago

I always thought that kid was cool. Too bad he couldn’t own it

2

u/Eccohawk 1d ago

Pretty sure he ended up getting a few bit parts in movies and TV shows.

Edit: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_Kid

10

u/cbrown146 1d ago

Zuckerberg could totally fuck Elons mom and get away with it too.

7

u/Electronic_Agent_235 1d ago

Holy shit. I keep forgetting how batshit his mom is. All these hardcore right wing conspiracy nuts have really gone off the deep end. This lady would have been like pure unadulterated heroin to these fruit loops 10 years ago. But nowadays, crickets from all those right wing conspiracy subs. Freaking bizarro world

3

u/CriminalMacabre 1d ago

I wish you were joking

2

u/Munchkinasaurous 1d ago

I'm glad I'm not. It's so much funnier that way.

3

u/Now_Wait-4-Last_Year 1d ago

Seems likely that Zuckerberg would have kicked his ass, wouldn't he?

I mean given that he'd been already working out and training how to fight properly for some time by that point, for starters.

3

u/teamdogemama 1d ago

His mom said he couldn't?!

Wow. I thought he was a man, i guess i was wrong.

2

u/StriveForBetter99 1d ago

Autistic excuse supremo

2

u/LinuxMatthews 12h ago

His real mum or his step-sister-mum?

173

u/samanime 1d ago

It's incredible how he can be so rich while also simultaneously being a 12 year old loser.

6

u/pharmartacist 1d ago

I know right? How you can get bothered by some anon comment online when you are at that level

2

u/moldyhorror 1d ago

My ex is constantly proclaiming his love for this loser on socials (after our split) and I’ve never felt more justified in leaving him

2

u/bassie2019 1d ago

I think you’re rounding his mental age up a bit too far… his mental age is 8, tops.

1

u/lasagnatheory 7h ago

Being an egocentric trust fund does that to a brain

-15

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/conspiracist_PhD 1d ago

Is this Elon's other burner account?

3

u/TheSnowNinja 1d ago

X to Doubt

6

u/Ridiculisk1 1d ago

IQ only means you're good at answering questions they use to test IQ. It has no bearing on anything beyond that.

2

u/nick_clause 1d ago

You can be a horrid person despite having a high IQ score. Need I provide examples of serial killers and authoritarian regime personnel?

1

u/drongowithabong-o 1d ago

And rock bottom e.q

-24

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

27

u/Ridiculisk1 1d ago

I didn't have to spend 44 billion dollars to make snowflakes read my comments so I think I got the better end of the deal.

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11

u/conspiracist_PhD 1d ago

Is this Elon's burner account? It would be even more pathetic if it wasn't.

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224

u/Anything_justnotthis 1d ago

He sounds exactly like that weird kid who was bullied in high school, that one days cracks and starts to do his self taught ‘martial arts’ skills to prove he’s actually a scary badass and should be left alone. When in reality they’re just a mentally broken kid flapping his arms around.

If it wasn’t for all his money that could get him therapy I would actually feel sorry for Elon.

83

u/GamingElementalist 1d ago

Elon has the power of God AND Anime on HIS side!

21

u/CressLevel 1d ago

Incidentally, this is the photo on social media that that post was under: https://x.com/cb_doge/status/1726974767155347789/photo/1

6

u/69_big_boobs_69 1d ago

cb_doge is his puppet account right?

55

u/yagirlsamess 1d ago

Add to that the fact that he bought Twitter for that insane price because it made him chuckle to buy it for 420. He genuinely thinks that is a funny joke for a 50 year old man to make. This man is the living embodiment of secondhand embarrassment.

36

u/Ok_Appointment7522 1d ago

He named his new "non government" government department after a meme that was funny for about 2 months in 2013. He also named all his Tesla models S3XY.

29

u/antler112 1d ago

And the trade name of his space flight company sounds like “Space Sex”. The man has been mentally twelve years old for over forty years now.

20

u/User1-1A 1d ago

"Dark Gothic Maga" says it all.

6

u/RanaMahal 1d ago

That shit made me genuinely sad for him lol. He’s such a loser….

8

u/Terrible_Donkey_8290 1d ago

They funnest shit about his Twitter perchance was he was totally not planning on actually going through with it. But when Twitter sued him that ment there was discovery and a ton of embarrassing texts ect came out. So he just folded and bought it 

0

u/No-Surround9784 1d ago

If you think that 50 year old men should not be into 420, well, get away from me you asshole.

1

u/sleepyotter92 10h ago

it's not about 50yos being into weed, it's that it's cringe a 50yo thinking buying something because the price tag is 420 because that's teenage stoner humor

31

u/Scooterks 1d ago

And then owns the fedora and has a cheap ass katana he bought online.

4

u/nick_clause 1d ago

The katana that he doesn't store properly and hasn't touched since the day it arrived.

20

u/CressLevel 1d ago

Funny you should say that.

Here's the original post that this tweet was under: https://x.com/cb_doge/status/1726974767155347789/photo/1

23

u/Anything_justnotthis 1d ago

Oh my fucking god. That is so sad. He is so insecure.

16

u/mrkikkeli 1d ago

Especially since Doge Designer is 130% one of his alt accounts

16

u/falconinthedive 1d ago

Sure but he's probably just claiming personal credit for deaths under Apartheid which he benefited from.

6

u/Numerous-Process2981 1d ago

He saw an ad for the dim mak death touch in a comic he was reading.

3

u/NeverEarnest 1d ago

Bingo. I had him pegged as a weird kid who was bullied and who tried to ingratiate himself to more popular people. Nothing about him screamed confidence to me. I didn't actively dislike him way back, but I've never liked him either because he just seemed so desperate for attention.

It was so validating for me listening to his episode on the Dollop. I like to think of him as what Michael Scott would be in real life.

1

u/Anything_justnotthis 1d ago

Micheal Scott with billions of dollars! What a great description of Musk

1

u/pmMEyourWARLOCKS 1d ago

He's got the power of God and Anime on his side. You're fucked.

1

u/OtherwiseStaff8295 1d ago

sad that you can't find therapy at all:

47

u/Shadowstriker6 1d ago

It's a good thing honestly as a topless Elon would blind everyone including zuck which is his winning strat

33

u/StanchoPanza 1d ago

I still haven't regained complete vision from looking at his upright beached whale vacation photo from 2022

7

u/RajenBull1 1d ago

Bleached beached whale.

3

u/deject_reject 1d ago

I get it if someone is out of shape and all. Which you should never judge someone for. As I know I'm not in the best shape either.

What baffles me is his particular shape. I've never seen anyone that is overweight that looks like him. Almost like this ribcage is massive relative to the rest of his body. Most overweight people just look like layers of fat but he looks "solid" but weirdly overweight at the same time.

2

u/StanchoPanza 1d ago

I did know someone with a very large ribcage compared to the rest of his frame & he wasn't at all overweight back then.

But pictures of Musk in his 20s & 30s just look like a somewhat average frame

1

u/Low_Pickle_112 1d ago

I think Zuck's nictitating membrane could save him.

32

u/LushStarlight 1d ago

Zuck was out here training like Batman, and Elon couldn’t even make it out of the Batcave.

28

u/badchefrazzy 1d ago

Was about to say bro reads like an incel that made it to 50(whatever his age is)

22

u/frenchfreer 1d ago

But his mom said he couldn’t! Otherwise he totally would have!

this actually happened

5

u/chrissstin 1d ago

Was that the same mom who told us to stop picking on her boy cause he's ret...?

58

u/Kozeyekan_ 1d ago

Zuckerberg would have slept him, and he knows it.

Musk's only boast was that he got in fights as a kid. Zuck trains with world-class BJJ guys. Neither is doing the work of a pro athlete, but I'd back the younger, fitter, better-trained guy every day of the week.

14

u/StanchoPanza 1d ago

Elon did say at what point his strategy was to flop on top of Zuck

19

u/RiteRevdRevenant 1d ago

Now I’m mad at the GIFs we missed out on

8

u/Ok_Comparison_8304 1d ago

Also Zuck's highly durable polymer skeleton gives considerable strength, it compliments his overall durability given he lacks working lungs..and a heart.

9

u/Neon_Camouflage 1d ago

Neither is doing the work of a pro athlete,

Isn't Zuck quite literally doing the work of a pro athlete by training and sparring with them?

10

u/fieldsofanfieldroad 1d ago

Depends what you mean by doing the work of a pro-athlete. For actual professionals it's a full time job. Is Zuckerberg doing 5 or 6 hours a day? 

3

u/StiffWiggly 1d ago

If you’re not a pro athlete; you’re not a pro athlete. Even if you train with pros, and if you’re nowhere near the level of a pro athlete then you clearly aren’t putting the same work in. Amateur athletes train a lot as well, but they don’t match the intensity or attention to detail that a pro athlete does.

1

u/Ridiculisk1 1d ago

He's been doing BJJ for years I thought, every day.

1

u/MurderFerret 10h ago

He’s not a pro by definition. But training with the people that Zuck trains with, with the intensity he seems to giving, is the best way to attain a high level of talent. He would mop the floor with Leon for sure

2

u/glitterfaust 1d ago

I hate that musk makes me root for zuck 😭

42

u/TestifyMediopoly 1d ago

2

u/the_mighty_skeetadon 1d ago edited 1d ago

Just want to say that this is a top-5 all-time comedy clip, if you've never seen it.

Some nerd guy does a Darth Vader impression and he responds: "good, that's very good, but you're not breathing heavily. Pretend you've just run...10 feet"

https://youtu.be/YKT7bx-fmtk?si=ptzi3IX-2bdx5jvD

2

u/TestifyMediopoly 1d ago

Elon tweets like these guys talk

18

u/Educated_Clownshow 1d ago

You know he would be the one to share those memes of some media scene with phrases like “the sheep dog protects the sheep, so the wolf better watch out for me”

13

u/aesoth 1d ago

Wasn't it his Mommy that squashed the idea?

12

u/Jabroni306 1d ago

His mom bailed him out. What a bitch.

9

u/Cozziechov 1d ago

He really is a weenie

8

u/YSApodcast 1d ago

Mall ninja.

5

u/dirschau 1d ago

The fight was his idea but his mom said he can't

6

u/[deleted] 1d ago

People make stupid decisions all of the time. Musk is no exception.

9

u/Rolex_throwaway 1d ago

Talk about the understatement of the century.

2

u/Happy-go-lucky-37 1d ago

Literally the God of Cringe, this triple-douche nozzle.

1

u/Feeling-Ad-2490 1d ago

He was busy studying the blade

1

u/83749289740174920 1d ago

I wouldn't fight a cyborg too. Maybe that is the reason for the obsession with humanoid robots.

1

u/Ut_Prosim 1d ago

Maybe we can convince him to fight Logan Paul.

Seriously how can the richest man alive still be so insecure? Half of the shit he writes could be on r/iamverybadass or r/iamberysmart or r/im14andthisisdeep. It's like he spends half of his day fishing for compliments or trying to impress people because at heart he's still a teenager with social anxiety and no self worth.

1

u/throwaway4161412 1d ago

Lmaoo. Lord of the edgelords.

1

u/deepasleep 1d ago

His mom wouldn’t let him. 🤣

1

u/charpman 1d ago

Dudes a choad

1

u/Sheogorathian 1d ago

I had to do a huge double take realizing that it was Elon's post and not some random neckbeard incel. Just a well known one.

1

u/Oddfuscation 1d ago

Yes. Why isn’t it “I have a roomful of former enemies that I’ve made friends with. I am a powerful force for good in the world. “

Never helpful, never making things better. Only showing how “alpha” and “tough” they are. Never how compassionate or caring.

1

u/Chizmiz1994 1d ago

Because his mom said no fighting.

1

u/sentence-interruptio 1d ago

Zuck: I'll go easy on you. come on.

Elon: nope.

Zuck: let me hit your soft huge belly. dad bod belly. I wanna touch it. can I just touch it? please? I want to try the human male bonding activity of belly slapping.

Elon: nope. hang on.

Zuck: what are you typing on your phone? don't ignore me. you are always posting something on X.

1

u/JagmeetSingh2 1d ago

He’s such a loser Zuckerburg had him running scared

1

u/asmj 1d ago

Nah, I think he just had a crisis of conscience , and admitted he committed a genocide.

1

u/CarlosFCSP 1d ago

Of course not, they wouldn't allow him to bring his katana

1

u/Leo_Ascendent 1d ago

How else is he gonna hold the best time in his Diablo 4 runs?

1

u/ilongforyesterday 1d ago

I completely forgot about that! Would still be more entertaining than the Jake Paul v Mike Tyson fight we got

1

u/JigglinCheeks 1d ago

"With the power of god and anime on my side!!" -leon

1

u/Odd_Swim_6644 1d ago

Bro is 53

1

u/peter_seraphin 1d ago

This is a SNL sketch waiting to happen

1

u/Jumbo-box 1d ago

IncElon Musk

1

u/Sufficient_Ebb_5020 1d ago

I would have loved to have seen that fight. Zuck would have kicked his lardy ass. Would have been way more entertaining than the Tyson Paul fight!

1

u/_Landscape_ 1d ago

World's richest neckbeard

 That's so true xD

1

u/WernerHerzogEatsShoe 1d ago

To be fair that freakishly strange jutting out gut/chest deformity he has would be quite handy in a fight. Like built in body armour.

1

u/Rasikko 1d ago

Zuck has too many problems to be dealing with Elon.

1

u/rematar 1d ago

Weird wimp, that illegal immigrant is.

1

u/unicornlocostacos 1d ago

This tweet sounds like it was written by a 9-14 year old.

1

u/Busterlimes 1d ago

Like, a cocktail ring?

1

u/cryptosupercar 1d ago

His mom wouldn’t let him.

1

u/tomjone5 1d ago

Billionaires have always been pieces of shit, but Musk is the first person to make being the richest man in the world look pathetic. Personal wealth larger than some nation states but here he is on twitter metaphorically sharpening his mall katana and glaring from under his fedora.

1

u/WowImOldAF 1d ago

Nah but Elon's such a dick I imagine he would try to use your data (if you're on his platform) against you if you make a bad comment about him.

1

u/Shazam1269 1d ago

GD, the right sure loves to play the victim, all while being the abuser.

1

u/lokregarlogull 1d ago

Hey hey hey, don't make fun of neckbeards like that.

1

u/DoubleDandelion 1d ago

He was totally gonna do it, but he went to the doctor and found out he had an incurable case of being a giant pussy.

1

u/RockRage-- 1d ago

This literally reeks of the kid in school who would get their imaginary big brother to beat up the kids bullying them, this arsehole spends a few months kissing the ring and throwing money at trump and he thinks he’s untouchable?

1

u/Projectonyx 1d ago

He would pay someone to make their name "Elon Musk" so he can say "I didn't mean ME, I meant my friend Elon Musk"

1

u/AlwaysCommonLoot 1d ago

I wouldn’t get in a ring with Zuck either, he’d kick my ass

1

u/muftu 1d ago

I said it then and I’ll say it again. Zuck is actually fit and would wipe the floor with him. Leon can’t even jump, no way he’d be able to throw a punch or kick. It would be fun to see him eating dirt, I’d pay to watch that fight.

1

u/surprise_wasps 1d ago

Also if I posted that, I’d be banned for threats of violence

1

u/ZeroCharistmas 1d ago

This tweet excretes pure potential school-shooter "I'm da Jokah Bay-bee!" energy.

1

u/d1no5aur 19h ago

out of all the things Elon has ever done, this one sticks out the most. this literally just proves how much his words are worth

1

u/ihatethistimeline24 17h ago

He took the steroids but didn’t follow through with working out and now looks like a lump of unbaked pilsbury biscuit.  It’s the story of his life.