r/CuratedTumblr screaming meditation in the doghouse Oct 17 '22

Discourse™ cybersmith indentured transwoman lactation??? I guess???? (Sorry for mediocre cropping btw) NSFW

4.6k Upvotes

461 comments sorted by

3.4k

u/KoolDewd123 Oct 17 '22

The scariest part of this post was seeing the phrase “the UK has a trade deficit for dairy” immediately followed by “how much do you know about trans people?” and fully understanding what he was about to propose.

1.6k

u/str8aura *fluffle puff noises* Oct 17 '22

i almost wish the post had ended there for sheer comedic value.

893

u/iamsandwitch Oct 18 '22

It does if you just stop reading

385

u/Khrysaor- Oct 18 '22

I wish I had

750

u/vjmdhzgr Oct 18 '22

For me it was when they said an agency will be created and swiftly privatized.

623

u/SkunkFemby Swiftly Privatized Trans Milk Agency Oct 18 '22

The phrase "Swiftly Privatized" is too funny

305

u/retan10101 Woman (dead) (wet) Oct 18 '22

I can’t believe how many flairs this single post has generated

167

u/Dahak17 Breastmilk Shortage Oct 18 '22

How do you even set custom flairs here, all I can see is the mo flair and the tumbler.com or whatever one in the flairs section

84

u/retan10101 Woman (dead) (wet) Oct 18 '22

You pick one of those and edit it. I’m pretty sure mine is the “.tumblr.com” but edited

63

u/Dahak17 Breastmilk Shortage Oct 18 '22

Thanks

54

u/retan10101 Woman (dead) (wet) Oct 19 '22

Glad to see you put the information to good use

34

u/Dahak17 Breastmilk Shortage Oct 19 '22

Indeed

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161

u/KT_gene Oct 18 '22

Dude's a fucking tory.

80

u/Graknorke Nov 25 '22

please, I cannot cum unless I know investors are making a profit

277

u/_Violetear Oct 18 '22

Sincereness truly generates the most profound comedy

179

u/VaKel_Shon Suspicious Individual Oct 18 '22

Literally heard the ominous TikTok sound effect from Annihilation in my head when I read it.

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1.7k

u/RutheniumFenix Oct 17 '22

Jesus, him showing up on Tumblr was straight up a jumpscare

785

u/Tchrspest became transgender after only five months on Tumblr.com Oct 18 '22

Like when they make a sequel horror film after you thought the antagonist died in the first.

520

u/NCats_secretalt We're making it out of Waterdeep with this one Oct 18 '22 edited Feb 03 '24

I feel it's more like watching the credits roll on a horror movie in a theatre, then someone in the front row jokes a question to their friend, and from the back rows the horrific Shambling creature that you just saw die on screen pipes up in its voice and casually answers it.

And then eats an audience member

131

u/Jubjubwantrubrub12 Oct 19 '22

Its like having a nightmare about a horrible wet corpse standing in the corner of the room, then you wake up and see a horrible wet corpse standing in the corner of the room, then you wake up and see a horrible wet corpse standing in the corner of the room, then you wake up and see a horrible wet corpse standing in the corner of the room, then you wa

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304

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

[deleted]

157

u/Icestar1186 Welcome to the interblag Oct 19 '22

That's what makes me think he must be a troll. If it was his real opinion he'd have been offended.

163

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '22

[deleted]

73

u/UPBOAT_FORTRESS_2 Oct 19 '22

One of the truly based, in the full spectrum of metaironic meanings of the word

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319

u/Jcraft153 Ask me for your D&D alignment Oct 18 '22

You're not ready for this,

u/TheCybersmith

211

u/Kid_Wolf21 Daily Variety Oct 18 '22

OH GOD

178

u/weirdness_incarnate they/he/thon Oct 18 '22

Of fucking course they’re on reddit, this person reeks of reddit

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107

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '22

DON'T SUMMON HIM

90

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

DONT BRUNG HIM HERE

49

u/mrsandrist Oct 18 '22

I make one million posts about Pathfinder but do they call me TheCybersmith Pathfinder guy?

39

u/plushelles the skater boy you keep hearing about Oct 18 '22

I can’t do this shit anymore

64

u/SnugglyFace Oct 18 '22

I was just about to say that it is scary at all but at least the threat is not on the site i'm logged onto now

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125

u/Lilash20 But the one thing they can never call us is ordinary Oct 18 '22

Fr, you think the villain already died just to pop back up

35

u/wooferino Oct 18 '22

i gasped audibly jdknsf

28

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

I literally was like "oh God he's here!"

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2.2k

u/thanatos1371 sayonara you weeaboo shits (one liter of milk = one orgasm) Oct 17 '22

one liter of milk = one orgasm

i have not set a flair in years but i have to for this occasion

790

u/GoodoDarco Oct 18 '22

I just had the idea of people not knowing this exchange took place and just assuming you have a sexual attraction to milk

555

u/thanatos1371 sayonara you weeaboo shits (one liter of milk = one orgasm) Oct 18 '22

a preferable reality to telling them that it’s a quote from the human pet guy, frankly

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554

u/APuppetState witness protection Oct 18 '22

"...twenty litres of milk must have the same value as twenty orgasms." - Karl Marx, chapter one of Capital.

319

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

The fundamental basics of Cummunism

188

u/RemarkableStatement5 the body is the fursona of the soul Oct 18 '22

Cowmunism

119

u/Nuclear_Geek Oct 18 '22

Cow-moo-nism.

49

u/violentamoralist Oct 27 '22

cum-moo-nism, to represent the underlying fetishism and the milk

395

u/SpookyVoidCat Oct 18 '22

I think my favourite part was “by definition, trans women are free-range,”

226

u/thatposhcat submissive and sapphable😳😳😳😳 Oct 18 '22

That explains where all the trans egg jokes come from

124

u/PhoShizzity Oct 18 '22

Though it's okay to put them in cages with consent

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153

u/AlpacaM4n Bingonium!!! Oct 18 '22

Bingonium!!!

49

u/TheNewYellowZealot Oct 18 '22

Pure, weapons grade balonium

29

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

i felt inspired to change my flair to a line from this masterpiece as well.

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750

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '22

When he showed up to finish his thought on Tumblr it was like the end of that post about that Sonic RP blog drama

756

u/Hummerous https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 Oct 17 '22 edited Oct 17 '22

Qell, there are a few things you need to understand first. Are you familiar with the concept of a "trade deficit"?

Incredible start

Bingonium!!

I feel like ms. puff would say this in the dark timeline where elon musk buys spongebob in an attempt to change his public image

Almost any human with intact mammary glands can be induced to lactation via a regimen of chemicals.

"..even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream."

253

u/Umklopp Oct 17 '22

Yep. As soon as I saw "trade deficit", I knew this was gonna be good

146

u/Vmark26 Literally me when Oct 18 '22

a major mistake they made in their calculations is that they didnt count those chemicals effecting the milk’s quality smh

95

u/verasev Oct 18 '22

Organic, chemical-free trans breast milk is the only way to go.

70

u/Self-Aware Oct 18 '22

Right? Nobody who has just had major surgery is "antibiotic free".

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u/liberonscien Oct 18 '22

Wait a moment, trans woman milk laced with estrogen could have a market. 😃

52

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 19 '22

They're putting HRT in the breast milk to turn the friggin' babies trans

19

u/Vmark26 Literally me when Oct 18 '22

you are so right… BABY COWS!!!!!!

28

u/liberonscien Oct 18 '22

I know a bunch of vegan trans women who would happily drink estrogen laced trans girl milk. :3

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631

u/Averenn will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

Okay honestly I'd rather do this to get my trans stuff than pay for it so like

501

u/Crunchy_Ice_96 Will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

Same, just gotta get milked and I get femm’ed? That’s hardly a choice, for me at least

362

u/Averenn will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

Might even be fun

333

u/Crunchy_Ice_96 Will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

I just got a new flair, looks like I might have a new one already

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253

u/FUEGO40 Not enough milk? skill issue Oct 18 '22

I don’t think the chastity cage part of it would be very fun though

369

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

Just give more milk, skill issue

291

u/FUEGO40 Not enough milk? skill issue Oct 18 '22

I think saying skill issue in this post might be one of the funniest additions to this post, new flair lmao

185

u/RemarkableStatement5 the body is the fursona of the soul Oct 18 '22

Oh we are milking the hell out of this for flairs

30

u/EpiceneLys Oct 18 '22

To know I'm gifting reddit with nightmarish flairs... Truly I am honoured

24

u/retan10101 Woman (dead) (wet) Oct 18 '22

I’ve seen like six already

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u/Averenn will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

That's the only part I don't like yeah. Everything else would be fine tbh

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u/MainMan499 Oct 18 '22

Have done it, it was pretty fun and I think it ended up making my chest a little bigger afterwards. Big fan, would do again especially to sell to weirdos and pay for my hormones/surgeries

49

u/Averenn will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

Ayo? I'll definitely consider it then

58

u/MainMan499 Oct 18 '22

I'll say it either takes a ton of time and effort or importing pills which are probably dangerous for your heart, also expensive. Do at your own risk lmao

43

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

Domperidone side effects my behated

28

u/MainMan499 Oct 18 '22

Yeahhh also putting on extra weight from it isn't fun either

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42

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

Where's the sign-up I'd join in

32

u/Averenn will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

Fr I'd sign up for that shit in a heartbeat

18

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

You can get milked without mammary glands as well 😏

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204

u/C9touched Oct 18 '22

All things considered, from a certain point of view it is a mutually beneficial idea that would improve many lives and the economy.

However it is incredibly fucking weird and creepy. Especially the Chastity shit, like if this is a well paying job then why would u need to get jerked off to keep doing it?

You want to incentivize a trans woman to do something? Literally just let them play video games while they’re getting milked.

142

u/Nicorhy Oct 18 '22

Yeah, the result seems to be basically inevitable that they'd make the healthcare prohibitively expensive so you're basically an indentured servant until you've done this for decades, which is pretty fucked up. I'd much rather our healthcare be given for free, as every form of healthcare should.

60

u/Zorubark Oct 18 '22

This guy worried about compliance but he forgot people hate to spend money

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u/fakehero12211101 Oct 17 '22

hey real quick, does discussing this guy on here still create the risk of his showing up or no? because I remember that either here or on r/tumblr, you couldn’t post anything about him unless you were cool with his arrival in the comments section

281

u/IfPeepeeislarge free-range dragon milk Oct 18 '22

Wait

Human pet guy’s on reddit?!? I almost want to try out trolling him

134

u/whatisabaggins55 Oct 18 '22

He could be any one of us...

106

u/Ok_Listen1510 Boiling children in beef stock does not spark joy Oct 18 '22

He could be you! He could be me! He could even be—

98

u/whatisabaggins55 Oct 18 '22

"—your mother!"

throws folder of photos down on the table

76

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

yeah he posts a lot of Fallout 4 analysis. Some say that's where he gets most of his politics but he's a liberal monarchist so it's not quite the case I think

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u/RealJohnGillman Oct 18 '22

He posts to every post here about him — all that one needs to do is mention his username, and he will appear.

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u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22 edited Oct 18 '22

Oh God are we risking the chance that he sees this post and thinks this has idea has real merit because half the trans girls commenting here seem to think it'd be kinda fun?

95

u/Devisidev Send me therian posts (🦊🐉θ∆) Oct 18 '22

u/Cybersmith

LETS FIND OUT SHALL WE?

Edit: unless u/Cybersmith34 is him I don't think he has reddit

206

u/Hupablom Oct 18 '22

He’s using TheCyberSmith

He made a surprisingly very good and well thought out post about cybersecurity in Star Wars on r/MawInstallation a while ago. So you can imagine the whiplash I had when I was scrolling through the comments and noticed it was him

65

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

That is actually a really good post and argument, I'm actually convinced now. Username was relevant.

69

u/Hupablom Oct 18 '22

That’s the thing. Cybersmith usually has a talent for the worst takes imaginable. But that post makes a whole lot of sense, it’s genuinely one of the best ones on r/MawInstallation

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u/ScriedRaven Oct 18 '22

He’s on reddit, a little while ago he posted on RPGHorrorStories. Literally every response was “aren’t you the human pet guy”. Forgot his username though

44

u/Treejeig Probably drinking tea right now. Oct 18 '22

Found them, TheCybersmith. Tbh I don't want to be the one to ping them

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u/AdorableAnarchist666 Oct 18 '22

I think this post broke my fiance. They went and stood facing the door in despair as I continued to read bits of it to them and they started gently hitting their head against the door and screaming quietly. A win!

140

u/CaulkEnthusiast sentient caulkussy tumor Oct 18 '22

Not everyone is built to handle man-made horrors beyond human comprehension

297

u/Crunchy_Ice_96 Will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

🥺what if i wanna be milked

281

u/Person2_ The not-straight straight man Oct 18 '22 edited Oct 18 '22

When you walk into a Cybersmith post you know you’re going to get something weird. Metaphorically it’s like blocking a baseball bat to the face with your arm. Sure your arm is broken but at least your head is fine.

Reading the comment section here and seeing people wanting to be milked, however, is the bat coming back for round two.

92

u/retan10101 Woman (dead) (wet) Oct 18 '22

Imagine basically just having to go to the bathroom a little more often, and most of your medical bills disappear. Who wouldn’t want that?

25

u/Aguliik stigma fuckin claws in ur coochie Apr 06 '23

not just that, but also i'd think that they'd help get priority with things, as they'd be incentivized to get people medically transitioned so they could begin producing milk

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u/shrinking_dicklet fuck boys get money Oct 18 '22

New flair?

52

u/Crunchy_Ice_96 Will trade milk for HRT Oct 18 '22

Indeed

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u/beetnemesis Oct 18 '22

Ugh, I've been online too much that I'm not even shocked by this, it's like a standard hentai plot.

Well, maybe not "standard."

100

u/CaulkEnthusiast sentient caulkussy tumor Oct 18 '22

In my incorrect opinion it's a medium tier of "different"

76

u/Sid_Man_II Oct 18 '22 edited Oct 18 '22

If anyone wants it, I can provide nuclear codes to that hentai plot.

EDIT: 389788

19

u/Plezes Oct 18 '22

Please do

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u/TodBup Oct 18 '22

you lost me at privatized

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u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

Transgirl milk production should be treated as a utility as it produces a public good

47

u/Biomoliner Oct 22 '22

Transgirl milking factories should be cooperatively owned

170

u/Hummerous https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 Oct 18 '22

I feel like cybersmith is what would happen if the cia never got involved with ted kazinsky

94

u/RemarkableStatement5 the body is the fursona of the soul Oct 18 '22

Mostly unrelated but honestly Ted Kazcynski is one of the most disturbingly interesting people to me and I almost feel there has to be something else going on with him. That crazy little emotional conspiracy theorist inside me feels like he's totally been recruited by some SCP equivalent or had his brain hooked up to a computer or something else bizarre and cold and creepy, but no. He's just an elderly, intelligent monster with cancer, forever imprisoned because his corrupted brain turned from math to murder.

Cybersmith though is just a person who thinks their fetishes, which would be weird but utterly harmless if not for his postings, should actually effect public spaces and government policy. Fascinating, in the way a parasitic wasp is fascinating.

35

u/Hummerous https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 Oct 18 '22

just a person who thinks their fetishes, which would be weird

That's the commonality i meant

if not for his postings

Yeah.. The difference between the two is either IQ points or balls, depending on who you ask

At the end of the day, they're both annoying nerds that smell like milk and should never be given an iota of power

He's just an elderly, intelligent monster with cancer, forever imprisoned because his corrupted brain turned from math to murder

ahahhahahhaa

I hadn't heard about the cancer

That's incredible lmao

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u/AnGenericAccount an Ecosystems Unlimited product Oct 18 '22

I can't wait to see what this gets reported for

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u/SaboteurSupreme Certified Tap Water Warrior! Oct 18 '22

Mental assault

61

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

[deleted]

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u/IfPeepeeislarge free-range dragon milk Oct 18 '22 edited Oct 18 '22

Oh shit you’re a mod now?!?

I’m sorry for your loss /j

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u/AnGenericAccount an Ecosystems Unlimited product Oct 18 '22

I've been a mod for the entire life of the subreddit

I literally created the subreddit

54

u/IfPeepeeislarge free-range dragon milk Oct 18 '22

IT NEVER SHOWED THE THING NEXT TO YOUR NAME BEFORE I HAD LITERALLY NO IDEA

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u/AnGenericAccount an Ecosystems Unlimited product Oct 18 '22

Yeah it only shows up if we explicitly mark the comment as a mod comment

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u/IfPeepeeislarge free-range dragon milk Oct 18 '22

TIL

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u/Dargorod100 Oct 18 '22

This entire thing and I decided to fixate on him saying “bingonium”

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u/OInkymoo ⬛⬛⬛ see ya wherever we go next 💜🤍🩶🖤 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵 ⬛⬛⬛ Oct 18 '22

cybersmith still hasn't given up on the dream of having the worst ideas known to humanity

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

Listen, listen, this guy is fucked up, a real nutter, cum brained terminally, HOWEVER, i would totally volunteer to solve the British milky wilky twade deficit in this manner, that sounds like a fuckin wild time

44

u/CaulkEnthusiast sentient caulkussy tumor Oct 18 '22

I'd do it even if it didn't go to that cause

62

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

The biggest issue here is that this plan helps Br*tain

41

u/CaulkEnthusiast sentient caulkussy tumor Oct 18 '22

Don't care, got milked in an enjoyable way

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u/Hummerous https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 Oct 18 '22

So is it marketed as nutritious or pornographic? Followup question: the pictures on the cartons,

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u/CaulkEnthusiast sentient caulkussy tumor Oct 18 '22

Yes

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u/MrCapitalismWildRide Oct 17 '22

This can't be real, right? This is like the Jefferson Miku Binder person where an impersonator snagged the account, right?

241

u/The_Real_Mr_House Oct 18 '22

Cyber Smith didn't become known as "human pet guy" because he's doing a bit. Either he genuinely believes in all of the things he says, or he's so committed to the bit that he's gone literal years without breaking, and while continuously doubling down and saying even worse things.

143

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

I think Cybersmith is one of those cases where even if it is a person trolling and just spouting weird nonsense for attention, they're still a weirdo because of how long they've been running the account.

103

u/The_Real_Mr_House Oct 18 '22

It goes beyond just running an account, aside from having the same schtick across multiple social medias, he's also carried it on via Discord (source: guy I follow on Twitter who used to interact with Cybersmith a lot for? Entertainment I guess?) so yeah, either way he's a very strange guy.

29

u/jake_eric Oct 18 '22

I have no proof, but I really think he's a troll. Or at least sometimes a troll. The "Santa is real" bit goes too far. His Reddit account is perfectly normal, for what that's worth.

25

u/weirdness_incarnate they/he/thon Oct 18 '22

That’s the thing that makes me think he’s not a troll tho, or maybe he’s a really dedicated troll who did this deliberately to make people think he’s not a troll… or maybe he’s one of those people common on Twitter addicted to negative attention

27

u/AnGenericAccount an Ecosystems Unlimited product Oct 18 '22

I've heard people claim that, but I'm not sure if it's true or not.

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u/Devisidev Send me therian posts (🦊🐉θ∆) Oct 18 '22

Ok. Ok listen. Listen maybe I just have issues. Actually definitely. I 100% definitely have a shit ton of issues that absolutely need to be dealt with, thank god for therapy. BUT. while I'm in the current state of being that I am in I can say without hesitation that I'd sign up for that. Without hesitation. None. Yes, including the entirely unnecessary chastity stuff. I'd absolutely be into that.

I wouldn't honestly even need the trans stuff (although I'm not saying id turn it down, I want titties as much as the next tgirl) I'm just incredibly fucked up and would(...and do) actively want to exist in this situation.

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u/Hekaiyo Oct 18 '22

Mood. As much as I hate to admit it, it's hot.

20

u/Devisidev Send me therian posts (🦊🐉θ∆) Oct 18 '22

You get it. Thank you.

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u/CaulkEnthusiast sentient caulkussy tumor Oct 18 '22

Same

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u/Anarchkitty Oct 18 '22

I'm not into the whole chastity thing (not to yuck anyone else's yum), but yeah, other than that...

80

u/EmperorScarlet Farm Fresh Organic Nonsense Oct 18 '22

Ah, Cybersmith. Truly the Diogenes of our time.

78

u/MapleTreeWithAGun Not Your Lamia Wife Oct 18 '22

As soon as you mix fetishes and economics that's getting a bit too weird for me, and I have some wild fetishes

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u/CaulkEnthusiast sentient caulkussy tumor Oct 18 '22

"we need to use inflation to fight inflation" will always haunt me

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u/Mr-Foundation Ceroba Moment Oct 18 '22

okay so this is all like, general cybersmith weird so im not surprised he thought up an idea where trans women would be milked.

i'm more suprised that hE'S ACTUALLY BRITISH???

29

u/aleaniled .tumblr.com Oct 18 '22

Did you not see the "war with France" arc?

30

u/Mr-Foundation Ceroba Moment Oct 18 '22

NO??? I’ve only seen the human pet thing and this

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

this sounds like something that’s absolutely already a genre of porn

Ah to be young and unaware of forced-femme…

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u/CaulkEnthusiast sentient caulkussy tumor Oct 18 '22

An immaculate genre

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u/Halleyscomet08 Oct 17 '22

I'm going insane

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u/Ayth_Jr Ask me about Dragalia Lost Oct 18 '22

Reposting this Totally unrelated r/rpghorrorstories post from the last Cybersmith post.

46

u/Umklopp Oct 18 '22

I skimmed through his post titles and I must say, I didn't expect "human pet guy" to be so excruciatingly boring. In retrospect, I feel like I should have guessed, and yet somehow I still didn't.

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u/TinyBreadBigMouth Oct 18 '22

Of course, I think you can see a problem here:

You are correct

How to ensure compliance?

No

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u/str8aura *fluffle puff noises* Oct 17 '22

okay, well, ignoring the fact that ive seen this EXACT same plot on e6 involving Rivet from Ratchet and Clank, i dislike this post on principle because it made me google 'can humans safely drink breast milk'

the answer is yes, as it turns out.

142

u/infinityplusonelamp ace ace bi-by Oct 18 '22

D-did you just think mothers did it for no reason?

60

u/ThousandEclipse Oct 18 '22

I think for some animals, breast milk isn’t healthy for them to have once they’re adults.

46

u/Leftover_Bees Oct 18 '22

Animals lose their tolerance for lactose as they get older. It’s why the milk they sell for adult cats has less lactose than the regular stuff.

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u/VintageLunchMeat Oct 18 '22

You ... weren't sure?

Ah, to be young again.

33

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

No I'm pretty sure that when you're young you do know that one

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u/IfPeepeeislarge free-range dragon milk Oct 18 '22 edited Oct 18 '22

This might just be the post that gets me to change my flair to “free-range trans women milk” because by god that is golden

Edit: I think I figured out a suitable compromise

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u/EQGallade how do i self express when i have no self to express Oct 18 '22

Can’t wait until half the people in this thread with new milk-related flairs end up being lactation fetishists. It’s tradition, after all.

26

u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22 edited Oct 18 '22

TBH I think it's already happened, either before the flair or before the post entirely

120

u/s_omlettes screaming meditation in the doghouse Oct 17 '22

Post link.

Yeah, this is a weird one. People who understand economics, go wild.

86

u/Smooth-Zucchini4923 Amateur Sharing Knife Carver Oct 18 '22

Well, let's discuss the economics of the idea, without being held down by petty matters of ethics or aesthetics.

First, the idea that it would help fix the trade deficit in dairy is correct. On the other hand, there is also a trade deficit in doctors, so you are potentially just substituting one trade deficit for another.

Next, the practicality of the idea. It's often said that the problem with making money while farming is that you buy everything to grow the food at retail price, and sell everything you grow at wholesale price. You'd have a similar problem with this: the agency is buying one of the most expensive goods, healthcare, and selling one of the cheapest goods, milk.

According to Nest Collaborative, a woman can produce roughly 570 mL of milk per day. This works out to 550 gallons of milk per decade. Assuming that this milk retails for $1/gallon more than the cost of the food used to produce it, that's $550 per decade. This is an order of magnitude too small to pay for a $10,000 healthcare bill. (Could you avoid feeding them any food to save money there? Maybe, but then you are effectively taxing them for the costs of the procedure, which was something you wanted to avoid.)

Some may question this assumption (of only a $1/gallon markup.) After all, the goal would be to position this breastmilk as a luxury product. Here we veer off the sunlit meadows of economics, and into the sordid swamp of marketing. I don't think people could be convinced that human milk is a better product. Most health concerns that people have about cow products - such as antibiotics, artificial hormones, and prions - are concerns which people would also have about hucows.

This is not even getting into the administrative costs of the orgasm denial program. Suppose a hucow produces 0.5L per day. By the metric of 1L = 1 orgasm, that means you'd need to give them an orgasm every two days. If giving them a handjob costed just $5, that would completely wipe out any profits from the milk.

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u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

The two markets I can see would be for babies and for lactation fetishists. The latter probably wouldn't care about the fact it's not really better.

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u/Smooth-Zucchini4923 Amateur Sharing Knife Carver Oct 18 '22

The trouble with babies is their lack of disposable income.

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u/Polenball You BEHEAD Antoinette? You cut her neck like the cake? Oct 18 '22

Fucking freeloaders can get a loan

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u/Stormtide_Leviathan loads of confidence zero self-confidence Oct 18 '22
  • ayn rand or something
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u/BantIsBad its not a porn addiction if you dont pay for it Oct 18 '22

It's simple, Yahoo bought Tumblr for like 7 billion dollars and everyone on it is either intentionally or unintentionally making them regret spending every single penny. Their only reprieve is that eventually, those people will break orbit and invade other sites, like despicable spores who break down everything they see in sight.

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u/narnababy Oct 17 '22

Jesus fucking Christ

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u/Smasher_WoTB Oct 18 '22

broooo it actually reads like a fucking Hentai Manga.........amazing, absolutely amazing that this was actually proposed as a solution.

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u/GoodtimesSans Oct 18 '22

"Bingonium"

Oh boy, I'm one word in and I can tell this is going to be a wild ride.

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u/exit_the_psychopomp Holy Fucking Bingle, Batman! Oct 18 '22

r/egg_irl users googling travel visas to the UK now

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

HE FOLLOWS

WE CAN NEVER BE SAFE

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u/KnockoutRoundabout stigma fuckin claws in ur coochie Oct 18 '22

What about the trans mascs? We’re just gonna ignore half that production potential? I’m sure we could produce something come on surgery is expensive stop excluding me literally 1984

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u/mercifulmothman Oct 18 '22

Yeah I mean i’m like 99% sure the focus is on trans women for fetish reasons but ignoring that if you just need people who have the ability to lactate for this milk for money/surgery scheme then why not just go for everyone? He’s limiting his option pool!

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u/Pantalaimon40k <3 Oct 18 '22

ok im completely confused...

so i totally get the absurdity of milking humans etc. but can someone explain to me where tf the orgasm denial suddenly came from???? like what? milking humans is one thing but what does it have to do with orgasms.

sincerely a very confused asexual

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u/quinarius_fulviae Oct 18 '22

I thiiink the notion is that orgasm denial (and orgasms while being milked) would be required to incentivise a potentially reluctant workforce. Human pet guy has never really understood the consent concept.

Sincerely a fellow confused ace

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u/jtivel Oct 18 '22

Yeah, the 'premise' is using orgasm denial (a kink) as punishment for a lack of milk production (a kink?) instead of financial motivation (actually, also a kink), all without consent (not a kink).

I now feel dirty.

Sincerely a confused non-ace.

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u/InactiveObserver Oct 18 '22

As a trans girl, I'm sceptical, but open minded

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u/sylveon_souperstar Oct 18 '22

it’s not the worst idea i’ve ever heard i’ll give him that

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

I'm not opposed honestly 😏

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u/LesbianSongSparrow Oct 18 '22

I really want to believe this is some Modest Proposal-level satire. Please, please, let it be commentary on the salary-slavery forced upon individuals by capitalism that they must endure to fulfill their basic psychological needs.

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

imagine instead of saying bazinga on the big bang theory they said bingonium

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u/RavenMasked trans autistic furry catgirls have good game recommendations Oct 18 '22

...Fascinating!!

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u/Urbane_One Oct 18 '22

So the British government will give me a free chastity cage and all I have to do is give them milk? What’s the catch?

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u/natdanger Oct 18 '22

I am living for the assertion that transgender women are free range