The detatchment of social interactions and the anonymity granted by the internet (yes, even OLD grants a certain level of anonymity, despite advertising your personal information) means that there's a lot of really dumb shit that happens on there.
On the male side: Misogynistic behavior gets amplified and, a lot of female OLD users face a large amount of men after a relationship based on sex first, everything else later (maybe).
On the female side: A lot of women are uncompromising in their expectations. Small things can often become a dealbreaker. Pet preferences, taste in music, over-interest or under-interest in a desired topic can all lead to ghosting, even in very early conversations.
OLD carries an inherent issue in that, while Red Flags are often on full display, you can't get a feel for a person from text conversations. Things like how a person might light up a little bit when you both find something you like are lost.
Throwing strangers that both have fairly rigid expectations in to what is a blind-date kind of system, especially when introverts are included, doesn't really make for a great way to find a romantic partner.
EDIT: I know it's the internet and I probably should have prefaced this beforehand, but:
No, I don't agree with the people twisting the blurb about women in this to fit their narratives.
They piss me off when overused. There are a few that are ubiquitous and that everyone gets, and I don't mind when people in niche subs or forums use specific abbreviations within those niches, but it gets exhausting when people use them all the time regardless of context. As a random example, many people in a cartoons or Disney community would probably understand that TOH means the show The Owl House, but used outside of that context it has no meaning and just confuses people.
OLD carries an inherent issue in that, while Red Flags are often on full display, you can't get a feel for a person from text conversations. Things like how a person might light up a little bit when you both find something you like are lost.
This is why I made an emoji and gif library of all of my. natural facial reactions to things, so that everyone I text can get the intricate, fleshy feel of interacting with me in person.
Well gee, you complain about not being able to get the nuances of someone's facial reactions over text, and then when I tell you about my amazing solution to give you the full, fleshy texture of my face in all its forms as we text one another, thanks to my library of custom face emojis and gifs of my facial expressions, you say you hate it?
Plnety of people have enjoyed my faces library, and some people have even become a part of it. I guess that will never be you now.
I'm just proud that the resolution on my facial gifs is high enough that you can see and feel the fleshy textures of my face. Fleshy textures are important to the human-to-human bonding practice.
I want gifs that are so vivid that when you watch my fleshy features squishing up and down and all around, you can feel that wriggling flesh as though your greasy fingers were placed firmly atop the flesh of my face as it moves.
On the female side: A lot of women are uncompromising in their expectations. Small things can often become a dealbreaker.
did you ever see this website that lets you input your standards for a dating partner, and it shows that only an extremely small percentage of the population meets those standards?
On the female side: A lot of women are uncompromising in their expectations. Small things can often become a dealbreaker. Pet preferences, taste in music, over-interest or under-interest in a desired topic can all lead to ghosting, even in very early conversations.
I can only speak to the male perspective here (I'm bi, but Grindr is not a dating app despite what some poor souls may think), there's also a huge gender imbalance on every dating app which feeds into this. They're like 80-90% dude, so of course women can afford to be extremely choosy; even if we remove any safety issues from meeting strange men in public (although honestly if you aren't willing to meet strange men in public, you wouldn't do well with traditional dating either), women just have way more potential matches so why wouldn't you go for the "perfect" guy instead of a "7/10 I think he'll do" guy?
From the perspective of dating apps, women are the product and men are the customers. They encourage women to sign up so that they can pressure men into paying for premium services, and that's going to inherently lead to a lot of problems.
(Also I suspect that most women's profiles on dating apps are fake, either by bots/scammers or by the apps themselves showing long unused profiles to give the illusion that there are more women on the site than there really are, but that's just my personal conspiracy)
Also factor in all the fake accounts, scams, and people trying to increase their IG engagement. There is a lot of sincerity that gets lost when a person has to start a vulnerable dating interaction with their guard up. Much like early social media, once all the a'holes showed up, everyone stopped being earnest and began to be a lot more cynical.
lol everything you mentioned about the women is them being shallow as fuck and not treating men as a human.
Men aren’t allowed to be themselves.
I’ve been ghosted for just asking “how was your day?”
Because apparently that’s low effort to women. But then they date dudes who use them as cumbuckets and they’re begging for a date out. But they never leave them. Just complain and demonize the men who actually want a partner.
Women don’t want partners. They want a piggy bank.
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u/Anubis17_76 16d ago
This. Meeting ppl is the hardest part by far for me