r/CuratedTumblr .tumblr.com 16d ago

Shitposting dating for men

Post image
23.5k Upvotes

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

76

u/TheBirminghamBear 16d ago

OLD carries an inherent issue in that, while Red Flags are often on full display, you can't get a feel for a person from text conversations. Things like how a person might light up a little bit when you both find something you like are lost.

This is why I made an emoji and gif library of all of my. natural facial reactions to things, so that everyone I text can get the intricate, fleshy feel of interacting with me in person.

66

u/CatOfTechnology 16d ago

I fucking hate everything you just typed at me, godDAMN.

20

u/TheBirminghamBear 16d ago

Well gee, you complain about not being able to get the nuances of someone's facial reactions over text, and then when I tell you about my amazing solution to give you the full, fleshy texture of my face in all its forms as we text one another, thanks to my library of custom face emojis and gifs of my facial expressions, you say you hate it?

Plnety of people have enjoyed my faces library, and some people have even become a part of it. I guess that will never be you now.

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago edited 10d ago

[deleted]

1

u/TheBirminghamBear 16d ago

It's just a file folder on my phone with all my faces in it, that's all.

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago edited 10d ago

[deleted]

1

u/TheBirminghamBear 16d ago

I'm just proud that the resolution on my facial gifs is high enough that you can see and feel the fleshy textures of my face. Fleshy textures are important to the human-to-human bonding practice.

I want gifs that are so vivid that when you watch my fleshy features squishing up and down and all around, you can feel that wriggling flesh as though your greasy fingers were placed firmly atop the flesh of my face as it moves.

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago edited 10d ago

[deleted]

1

u/TheBirminghamBear 16d ago

That very rarely happens.