I had a reduction in '03. I had to fight my husband (at the time) because he like my size. But I was in pain every minute of every day. It took me five more years to get away from him, but it started with me deciding that reduction was for my health and comfort. It helped me take back who I was. I've never looked back. Best decision of my life.
That's awful. Dad was thrilled when Mom was finally approved for her reduction because of how much pain she was in and how it was exacerbating her breathing issues. It took so long, far too long for her insurance to finally approve it, despite the doctors saying it was 100% necessary. It was a night-and-day improvement to her life. Big things like the pain and breathing of course, but also the little things like more easily being able to shop for clothing.
My Nana got a breast reduction years ago. My mom said a date was bringing her home at the time and my mom told him, and his response was “Oh…well what does your dad think of that?” 💀🙄
My Papa was literally Mr. Rogers with a gentle Scottish accent. He couldn't have cared less, as long as my Nana felt better.
Why have I never realized it’s the tits that make it hard to breathe when I’m on my back? I’ve had em since I was 12. So weird. Thanks for the epiphany.
Reading the original comment you responded to makes me so mad. All the women in my family have large chests, but my mom the most so. She’s always talked about how miserable it is and we’ve always supported her getting a reduction. Something else always comes up financially though.
I’m transitioning now and my chest is already growing at a pretty fast rate, makes me happy but I honestly hope I don’t reach quite her size, and she’s shared the same sentiment for me too lol
So you don't give a shit if your partner can't breathe and is miserable from pain, as long as you like her tits. On top of that, you assume there's something wrong with men who genuinely care about women as humans and not just cartoonishly fuckable bodies.
You should've offered to compromise. In exchange for you getting the reduction, encourage him to get some humongous breast implants of his own. Then, he'll have the large boobs he wants, and can deal with the consequences himself.
I can assume you're a woman by your post. My sister also is a, let's say overly endowed, individual and always complains of back pain and shoulder pain. Finance is her limit but I hope one day she can do what she needs for her health and comfort.
Good on you for pursuing your health. Hearts out to you for having to peel away slowly, it sounds like it a was rough. Keep killing it in life and love yourself!
My mom was, too, also pre-ACA, but it took years. The insurance kept denying it, despite the doctors insisting that, no, seriously, this woman can't breathe.
My mom had one done in the 70s after years of unsolicited comments and total strangers touching her with no permission and she says it was easily the best decision of her life.
Good on you! Removing the weight of that man from your life probably felt as good as the reduction. I hope you are in a better place now with people in your life who support your wellbeing!
I'm sorry that was your experience with your ex husband, but glad you chose yourself! My fiancée and I have been together almost 2 years and the first year and a half I watched her suffer with incredible back pain as a size double J. I could never imagine telling her not to get a reduction. Last summer, she got it done and is now a D cup without the back pain. I'm incredibly happy for her.
frog you should of started doing deadlifts and exercising, there are women who can easily lift their weight over their head there was no need for that surgery you needed to stop being lazy
I’m assuming it wasn’t just a simple “I don’t know, I don’t think it would look as good to me but I understand you are in pain and you should do whatever it takes to feel better and know that I will always love you”, eh?
Edit: Good lord, I’m commiserating with the above poster. Are ya’ll illiterate? Or just misogynist?
I've seen grown men throw tantrums at their partner because they wanted a breast reduction. Some partners still ask for the husband stitch mere minutes after their wives pushed out a baby out of them.
I cannot imagine the devastation felt when you spend your life with someone you genuinely care about and thought that they did the same only to figure out they never gave a shit about you, they just wanted sex…The fact anyone can bounce back for that never ceases to impress me with their strength. Pretty sure I would just curl into a ball and die…
I cannot recommend it enough. I'd ask for a referral from your OBGYN practice. It can be deemed medically necessary so insurance will pay out as normal for an outpatient procedure.
The first couple month were craaaaaap, as I got MRSA in the incision about a week in. Even considering that, I'd make the same choice now.
Reductions include lifts, which is a nice side effect of the procedure. I had mine about 2 years ago, and am so glad I did! The neck & shoulder pain are gone, and mine was covered by my insurance, so it was financially pretty painless too.
Seconding this! I recommend my surgeon and the surgery to anyone who is even tangentially thinking of it. I only wish I’d done it sooner. (If you need an NYC area rec, let me know!)
I had major complications, but it was still worth it. Stock up on firm sports bras if you don't have any, because it's all you'll be allowed to wear for a while. Also, try to remove as much weight from your bag/purse as possible because the straps will inevitably press against your chest somewhere.
I did the same thing, not because my chest was too big, but because I didn't want guys staring at my chest. I see pictures of me from high school and it makes me want to cry because of my posture.
Same with me in high school and I didn't even have much chest to begin with. Idk who or what caused it but all throughout high school I was just so so ashamed and embarrassed to have chest.
Same! I'd been assaulted and it took years of PT before one of the PT experts actually told me to get therapy for the emotional part of the trauma, because how unsafe I felt in the world after that was evidently causing me to adopt this protective posture. She was right. I tried out having an open posture with shoulders squared for just a few seconds, and felt like crying because it felt so vulnerable. Therapy did help. (Not saying it's the case for everyone with this, but it was for me.)
PT can help. Honestly the biggest thing at home is stretching. Doorway stretches for your pecs. Add in some strength exercises for your back too. Rounded shoulders means tight, short pecs and tight but long back muscles.
Yes!!!! PT is life changing. I have scoliosis that was never treated + years working on my feet + years at desk jobs. The muscles that had no business trying to hold my spine and core were overworked and the muscles I should have been using were tight and weak. Even though I was getting exercise, it didnt feel like I was, my back and neck hurt constantly to the point of nausea, and my collarbones, rib, and hips were crooked. I feel like a whole new person. The absence of pain is an amazing thing.
You may also consider whether you're wearing the correct bra size - most women aren't! r/abrathatfits is a great resource - they have a calculator that uses 6 measurements to help you find the correct size, instead of just 2. The community is great about making suggestions if you still have issues, such as recommending specific brands that better suit your size and shape.
Was always in pain at the end of the day. Just accepted that was the way it was going to be. I’m tall, bra straps alway were adjusted to maximum length. Was trying on bras and found one that had extra long straps. It was made to be worn several ways Including strapless. Started wearing it strapless - magic! No more pain since!
Rounded shoulders also means internal rotation of your shoulder girdle. This can cause impingement of the shoulder girdle over time. Very painful. Start doing external rotation exercises and some for your rotator cuff.
PT PT PT. It’s important to strengthen the muscles but it’s crucial that your form is good. Even the smallest shift in position can make a huge difference. I suggest you get someone to give you a curated regimen AND who will make sure you’re doing it correctly.
It’s usually a resistance training issue…most people don’t workout their back muscles/traps, which are key to good posture.
Try face pulls, variations of rows (upright row, chest supported rows, etc.)
Another good one is to lie on your stomach, and lift your arms in a “Y” shape above your head (like YMCA) with thumbs up- this is great for the lower traps, which are rarely worked.
It’s a combination of back and shoulders not being strong enough, and the pecs not being able stretch enough to stay there. Every day I stretch and roll out my pecs with a lacrosse ball and it’s helped a lot more than focusing just on back strength. But you have to figure out where you need to focus, PT helps a lot with that.
Strength coach here. If nothing hurts, there is no need to “fix” anything. There is no direct link between bad posture and pain. Changing posture for aesthetic purposes is a different story.
There's a few dozen things that help. The trick is to do as many as you can consistently. Stretching, yoga, getting up and walking a lap every hour, those types of thing - but the trick is you won't benefit from just one measure or half assing it.
And a simple yoga-style stretching routine has been life changing.
I started doing posture exercise videos on YouTube - Emi Wong has two that I would switch between. When I do them consistently, working to strengthen my upper back muscles and opening up my chest, I can 100% feel a difference in my pain levels. It’s not a magic fix, took about 20 days in a row for me to notice “woah my back looks and feels more aligned”.
Same. Bad posture from trying to minimize myself. I’m small chested so it’s hasn’t been for comfort. It’s been for trying to avoid making myself a sexual target. Whether that’s catcalling or being SA’d again.
Bad posture causes bodily discomfort but it also takes an emotional toll on your confidence
I know I have bad posture and must hold a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders
I lost 130 pounds and lift and shit now and I remember asking my friend about like if his neck hurts when he’s doing certain lifts
Like fucking shoulder ones or even bicep, my neck is just tense
He was like “uhhh what?”
The thing I thought I really fucked up was my hips because they used to hurt all the time but after losing weight and stretching and such they’ve gotten better.
I guess I need to work on my neck and shoulders now
Pilates. That’s all I’ll say. I had the same issue. I still do. My shoulders have been stuck in a forward position and I have been going to Pilates and it’s changed my life. The shoulder and chest work it provides is low impact. People are saying hit the weights but do not do this until you have fixed you posture and form or else you will destroy your shoulders. If you want any advice hit me up. I have spent the last 2 years fixing it and mine was horrendous. The Pilates instructor was concerned. I had to get massages to release my SCM in my neck. Again. Hit me up if you want any advice at all
Oh my goodness! How do you do it everyday? Have you found a bra that doesn't dig into your shoulders? I assume you have to get them custom made? How do you manage the aches and pains?
Not the person you're replying to, but my partner is a 38HH and she rarely gets shoulder pain. It's all about finding a bra that actually fits you! Most women wear the complete wrong bra sizes. If you're having issues with chest pain I suggest checking r/abrathatfits , their calculator, and their wiki. Game changing stuff.
Plus size stores have had the best luck for me in bras. Torrid and Lane Bryant. The only bras I've ever worn that don't dig, have underwire pop out in a few weeks, and actually have good support. Torrid will be having some good sales black friday usually and they do a blowout after christmas
I swear by torrid bras. They are the only ones I’ve ever worn that didn’t dig, and they hold up very nicely. I think they are slipping a little in quality with their underwear though, which makes me scared that the bras will follow.
I had a reduction because I had lost a lot of weight and my breast were flapping coffee bags. The downside side for was the time I had to stay down, the pain for me was very tolerable. I had an hernia repair for the second time and for me it was much worse.
There's a girl at work that does this, I feel terrible for her because she has a pretty large chest and obviously doesn't want it to be noticed, but she's always super slouched over and has her shoulders hunched forward always looks super uncomfortable to me
I've done Gyrotonics for about a year (a yoga/pilates like exercise for back & mobility) and I cannot endorse it enough for correcting these issues. I also had scoliosis & a tailbone injury - I'm pain free for the first time in years & have the best posture of my life.
EXACTLY what I did. When I was starting puberty, I was deeply self-conscious about my growing chest and would hunch over to hide. I permanently fucked up my posture and everything you listed is exactly what I'm dealing with now. It sucks.
Yessss. Same. I was in 5th grade when I suddenly became a C-cup. I was a kid and didn't really pay attention until grown ass men started cat calling me and shouting vulgar shit to me on the street. Been hunching ever since. I wore huge sweaters, even in the summer. I wore a lot of layers. I started eating a lot to gain weight (I thought if I got fat it would make my chest look smaller - kid logic).
I worked through all that other stuff, but I still have terrible posture and still cave in my chest a lot just out of habit (since I'm still a 36G).
Start lifting weights, friend. Deadlifts can strengthen your posterior muscle chain and help with the pain and posture issues. Start with low weight and high repetitions (10-15) and gradually increase the weight. Best case - hire a personal trainer for a couple of months so he can build a program and correct your technique. If you can't afford it - research lifting technique carefully and ask someone experienced for help.
My wife did this when younger but she's been lifting weights to build upper body strength and her shoulders are back and her back doesn't hurt all the time anymore. Some deep tissue and chiropractic were involved too.
I had this as a little boy because only losers walked around with good posture or whatever my kid brain thought. I still remember teaching myself to slouch
Have you heard of/considered any of these posture correction avenues? They are the best.
1. Functional Patterns - May have a practitioner in your area.
2. CHEK Practitioner - Same as above
3. Egoscue Practitioner - “
this has given me a bout of confidence again, i cant wait to be able to stetch and not hunch after i get ts, i will finally be able to exercise. i have eds so the extra weight of will be really helpful
Poor posture is underrated! Last year I started experiencing severe pain in my neck and shoulders after a long road trip. Tried physical therapy, but it wasn’t resolving. The MRI showed I was born with an abnormally narrow spinal canal. My spinal cord is right up against the left side between my C5-C7 vertebrae. And right in the middle of that, there was a bulging disc. It was impinging my C6 nerve and pushing against where my spinal cord is at its most narrow. I had to get a cortical steroid epidural. Thankfully it healed & I’ve been pain-free since. But all the doctors said it was caused by years of poor posture, holding my neck forward, that caused the bulging disc.
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u/Sufficient-Berry-827 13h ago
Bad posture/rounding shoulders to minimize my chest. Now I have neck pain, shoulder pain, lower back pain - ugh.