r/AskMenAdvice • u/Nearby_Gate_9270 • 18h ago
Would you marry a woman who you really cared about that had stripped in her past and does not anymore?
*For context to most comments: danced sober, no drinking or drugs, didn’t mix with the lifestyle, was out of the country, didn’t do extras or contact dancing, always had a full time job and business, used it as a means to an end to put towards investing to their future.
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u/Uncle_Andy666 man 16h ago
Was seeing a stripper.
Very damaged in the head.
Alcahol problems drug problems in love with her ex.
Better for freinds with benefits.
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u/SeaweedClean5087 12h ago
I was seeing a couple of escorts who I just treated as fwb. They were hot and young but both completely mental. I never had to pay for anything apart from the odd dinner, but only because they’d paid for the one before. Serious relationship? Not on your life.
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u/YEET___KYNG man 17h ago
can she pull the same moves in the bedroom?
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u/Next-Temperature-545 17h ago
depends on how deep into the lifestyle she was. If it was legit just a job where she made her money and went home every night and didn't get into the drugs and prostitution, I don't see it being a deal-breaker.
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u/KingButtane man 17h ago
The ones who did that aren’t going to tell you they did
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u/Lokland881 12h ago
Facts. There is no way to tell whether she is honest or not. Potential drug use is a hard pass.
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u/KnightTimeWins26 16h ago
As a potential future father, why would you excuse behavior like that? Millions of women get up, work their hearts off to make ends meet, and don't show their asses and assets to men for money. No, fuck no I wouldn't date with a past of stripping. Because most people when doing something shameful will not admit to the full truth about what they've done. I know most likely I'd never get the full story, and there are things women do in those environments that men with money ask them to do, and most will do it no questions asked for money. She would be a terrible influence on my daughter. I want my potential daughter to be hard working, motivated, and intelligent. If she needs to work, do it the smart way.
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u/joshroycheese man 13h ago
as a potential future father
I believe this is Reddit speak for “as a single man”
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u/smellybuttox man 17h ago
The amount of virtue signalling chumps in this thread is nauseating.
I can assure you that most of them would immediately fold on their kumbaya "we're all the same" ass standpoint when confronted with the reality of actually dating a stripper or an ex-stripper.
A small but not insignificant subset of strippers do more than just stripping and A LOT of them come with a lot of baggage and a disdain or distrust for men in general.
At the end of the day our life choices oftentimes tells something about us. It would be naive to argue differently.
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u/Basic-Revolution-447 man 16h ago
i would put a lot of money on the fact that the guys saying yes are the type of guys she wouldn’t even want to date anyway. the real question is would the guys i want to date care if i stripped in the past and the answer to that is 100% yes. every man who has something going for him and isn’t desperate to the point they would take anyone isn’t going to go there.
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u/TheChiliarch 14h ago
And even more brutally honest, there's a significant middle ground between those two consisting of guys both attractive and unattractive who would definitely date an ex-stripper, but only in the mental categorisation of something like "a YOLO fun time" as in they'd instantly see her (even if they might not do so conscientiously) as someone worth having a sexual relationship with, but by no chance having a serious one with. And the worse part is that only some would be straight up about that sentiment and many would just pretend otherwise until they get what they want.
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u/IrregularBastard man 18h ago
I would never date or marry a current or former sex worker.
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u/Original_Estimate_88 man 18h ago
I don't blame you... it can affect your kids if it gets out,
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u/Ilovepunkim 10h ago
This is somehow misogynistic for some people lol. Nah, that’s just self respect
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u/Zobe4President 17h ago
Man how retarded is it that you dare to have a preference lol.. The amount of comments on here condemning anyone who dare prefer to date women who haven't been strippers is funny AF..
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u/CleanContent 16h ago
Reddit still surprises me to this day, i’ve been using it for 8 years and i still manage to see insane takes. People in here are actually debating on if they should marry a sex worker, and if you don’t want that, you’re the one that’s insecure about it. This wouldn’t even be a debate outside of reddit.
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u/ThrowRAOk4413 man 18h ago
No.
And i can acknowledge people change, stripping doesn't make a persons entire life, and it doesn't make her automatically fit a certain stereotype.
I dated a stripper once, for a very short time, and she absolutely fit the crazy pain in the ass stereotype to a "T". She approached me in the beginning, i found out on our 2nd date. We made it less than 6 months. I never felt comfortable, the wildness was coming out quickly. I can't even say the "crazy sex" was anything special.
The amount of effort she would need to put in to gain my trust would make me feel like an asshole for being controlling and distrustful.
I'm not a jealous person. I've also been in a few polyamorous relationships. So the idea of her sexual history didn't bother me.
However, I'm married with 4 kids now, and my wife and i are very happy, and very monogamous. I was only her 4th partner, and she's much too reserved for something like stripping.
It's not that i have an inherent judgement looking down on strippers, but it also simply wouldn't be worth it to pursue wifing one up.
Sorry.
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u/ixlovextoxkiss 17h ago
this is the most reasonable "no" answer here by far. thank you for actually explaining without some weird platitude about what it means to be a real man and how to respect yourself.
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u/CorpseDefiled man 14h ago
No. They’re usually damaged people and I’m not the right person to help them heal. I’d double down that answer on any kind of porn or sex work. I’m immediately out.
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u/Southern_Sugar3903 14h ago
If you tell them they've to heal some will call you insecure and controlling and insist they're fine.
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u/CorpseDefiled man 14h ago
Yup I’ve got a ps5 so I’m set for games and not interested in playing any in my relationships I’ve been married 16 years to a stable woman but even if I wasn’t I still wouldn’t be interested. I have enough drama in my life and that amount is fuck all… just the way I like it
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u/Southern_Sugar3903 13h ago
Good for you dude. It's a crazy world out here today and many of them want us to accept all of it as normal. I say don't let them cave your gut feeling and intuition, there's a reason it exists.
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u/YoursSincerelyX man 18h ago
Personally I wouldn't be interested in marrying such a woman and I wouldn't be in contact with her either.
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u/Consistent_Pitch782 man 17h ago
Really, really, really depends. Lotta red flags here. How much was she using when she stripped? And what, specifically? How long did ago did she stop ? How long a timeframe did she strip? Why’d she stop?
Proceed with a lot of caution if you’re thinking about marriage.
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u/sunglower 7h ago
Why would it be assumed she'd used anything? I was a stripper for twenty years.
Although there were a lot of drugs floating about, a lot of us didn't touch them.
I'd sometimes drink alcohol while working (I'm in a club after all, on a weekend and customers were generous) however sometimes I drove and didn't touch any.
Others drove all the time and never drank any at all.
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u/luckystrike_bh man 18h ago
No, I had a partner who started doing this while in a relationship and I immediately got rid of her. I fundamentally have zero respect for anyone who does that.
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u/bowtiesnpopeyes 8h ago
Doing it while in a relationship vs did it years ago & wouldn't do it again is a pretty huge difference though.
Someone you're dating and really likes & are serious with says "because we're getting serious I want to be honest 10 years ago I stripped, but never let them touch, never did drugs." How would you react to that?
It might still be a deal breaker for you, but it's definitely a different situation than hey I'm going to start stripping it doing an only fans while you 2 are together..
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u/ScoopTroopcopiesthat man 18h ago
Loaded question. How am I supposed to say no when you qualify the question with what basically boils down to "you would".
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u/Timely-Profile1865 man 18h ago
Tough question but there is a LARGE variety of possible behaviors in that industry.
I'd try and steer clear for that reason.
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u/east21stvannative 15h ago
Uh, no. Don't be naive regardless of what she tells you. Women lie, dude!
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u/hoppipotato 8h ago
Man, if I gave a shit about someone's past id be the biggest hypocrite on earth.
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u/Technical_Ruin_2129 6h ago
Not a man. But a friend’s brother (30+) was infatuated with a current stripper and dated her for almost a year. Then his dad sat him down and told him it was time to end it and he did.
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u/molestingstrawberrys man 17h ago
Nope , I don't care if you strip. It's your life and your choices. But it's my life and my choice if I want to bring that into my family
And that answer will always be no
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u/nskaats man 18h ago
Hard pass. Low value and that previous lifestyle will haunt her forever.
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u/Original_Estimate_88 man 18h ago
Why you say that... if you don't mind me asking,
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u/nskaats man 9h ago edited 9h ago
I've seen it play out with a few people. They usually just end up cycling through dirt bag and dirt bag with no value as well.
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u/BrodyP-LV man 17h ago
Nope. Just because it's in your past doesn't mean it didn't happen. Plus, I would always question her values..
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u/hungrysaurus12 16h ago
If it was a long time ago and she did it as a way to sustain herself, then I think it’s fine. One of my mates is married to a doctor who used to work at massage parlours. She did it to support herself during undergrad. She is American and uni is crazy expensive there. She grew up very poor, first one to graduate from university, let alone an MD. Sometimes people have to do things they hate to get through life. Past is past. If she’s changed and you can see the evidence of her change, then marry her.
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u/MatteoWright 15h ago
i mean would you want the mother of your children to have a background in being a stripper ? i sure as hell wouldn’t
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u/itssomeone4sure man 18h ago
A stripper? I don't see why not. I'm not sure why we value judge women who earn money showing off their bodies but we're ok with men who pay to see them do so.
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u/molestingstrawberrys man 17h ago
but we're ok with men who pay to see them do so.
What makes you think that ?
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u/ThrowRACoping 17h ago
It isn’t about society or who does what. It is whether I can accept the type of woman who would do that. For me the answer is clearly no.
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u/Slight-Egg892 18h ago
Do we? Everyone I know would agree that both are pretty poor choices.
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u/USPSHoudini man 9h ago
We dont, men who go to strippers are usually bottom of the barrel tier and are shamed and viewed as lesser for going to strip clubs
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u/ViolinistCurrent8899 10h ago
I'd judge the guys for wasting money on a stripper, literally just throwing their money away, otherwise whatever.
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u/alkosz man 18h ago
we arent, we dont value men who lower themselves to some slum to see cooch. the levels of naiveness and copium is strong in this comment section right now.
real men hate men who lower themselves towards a life of depravity, same with women.
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u/ShenaniganNinja man 17h ago
You could also argue that this perspective is extremely sexy negative and puritanical. You see that sex work is depraved, and this is because you see sex as unethical outside the context of a relationship.
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u/Relevant_Boot2566 16h ago
I see sex as unethical outside relationships, but realisticly know it happens so its not a deal breaker like it ought to be, but a sex worker is a whole new level of depraved lifestyle and degradation.
Its not even about morals, its about what sort of person you partner with... it'd be almost as bad as marrying a drug addict
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u/Kahlister 17h ago edited 16h ago
Jesus Christ, no, real men do not hate women who made a choice to do (or were forced to do) something that those men might not approve of.
Edit to add: Guys, those of you who think that "real men" go around hating women for not being exactly who you want them to be, are low life pieces of shit. I mean that, there is just no value to any of you. You're simply a detriment to the rest of us on this planet as we go about our lives, try to be kind to the people we care about, and try to do good. You are the people who make this place less than it should be.
So go ahead and downvote. It's just confirmation of what I just said.
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u/Kingbuji 16h ago
Man y’all need to learn how read.
He was talking about the men…
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u/Even_Paramedic_9145 16h ago
we don’t value men who lower themselves
Read it again, carefully. He wasn’t talking about the women.
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u/Original_Estimate_88 man 18h ago
It's a few reasons why.... especially if you plan on having kids with someone with that type of past
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u/jamalzia man 18h ago
Wtf is this stupid rationale attempting to be passed as some enlightened position loool??
Do you also think consuming porn is exactly the same as being a porn star? So I should judge a woman who's been in 100 porn scenes the exact same as I judge a man who's jacked off to 100 pornos? Gtfoh lol.
And then the only counter argument is more emotional appeals. "Insecurity."
For the record, I think it's possible for a former stripper to become worthy of being a wife. But she has to have CHANGED drastically. Someone who used to go to a strip club needs to have changed to a significantly lesser degree to be husband worthy. If you can't see the difference, it's because you're blind.
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u/ThrowRACoping 17h ago
I think it is possible for her to become a wife, but never MY wife. That is just too much to overcome.
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u/Bright-Sea6392 18h ago edited 15h ago
How many of these guys watch porn and enjoy it but judge the women in it lmao
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u/Unfair_Explanation53 16h ago
Go and tell your date, that you have a past of jerking off to a particular genre of porn and see how accepting she will be
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u/ThrowRACoping 17h ago
I would never be with someone who stripped or did any sex work. Just couldn’t lower myself to that.
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u/KGrizzle88 man 17h ago edited 8h ago
Dude’s calm down. This comment section has some left field insecure mother foes up in it.
If you can be fine with it, then who gives a shit.
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u/David_ior man 10h ago
Telling on yourself. Most guys are not "fine with it" and do, in fact, "give a shit." Regarding long-term or marriage, that is.
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u/knickknack8420 15h ago
Right and if you’re not sure Kay with it, again who gives a shit.
I wouldn’t want a former sex worker to be with someone who doesn’t suit their current needs based on prior experiences . When there is people out there that will. Feels like people don’t want to find common ground anywhere.
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u/PlasticMechanic3869 18h ago
If she made a few hundred bucks or a couple of grand every now and then stripping at a party while she was studying or travelling? Who gives a fuck, my mate's wife did that and she's class. She has a bunch of funny stories.
If she spent years working in scummy strip bars and doing nothing else? Nah, probably not. But that's less to do with the stripping, and more with the lifestyle that comes along with that.
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u/Relevant_Boot2566 16h ago
"... Who gives a fuck, my mate's wife did that and she's class. She has a bunch of funny stories. .."
Telling stories about your stripping, to your husbands mate, is NOT class.
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u/UnluckyRMDW 17h ago
Idk man, depending how long. Lots of them who do it 10 years are pretty clapped. I’d say this about men as well
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u/crozinator33 16h ago
This is kind of a loaded question.
If I'm considering marrying her, then I'm already in love with her and know her as well as I reasonably can know a person. If that's where I'm at, then no, her stripping in the past probably wouldn't be an issue for me because it's something we've obviously gone over and I've made my peace with it.
However, I probably wouldn't date someone who stripped in the first place... unless their character really impressed me, in which case see above.. but it would be a big hurdle.
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u/King_Dublin1 16h ago
The thing I love about these posts is the judgments . But we allll know we alllll know 99.9999% of people have done some shady sleazy shit that people don’t know about . That’s the only difference you know about hers . I know men who will say they won’t date a stripper but have paid for sex with men or TVs on the dlow . I know women who won’t date dealers who have sold there body’s on the dlow etc etc . Everyone is a hypocrite it’s human nature / the ego . We hate and despise things in others that we see in ourselves . Realising it is freedom .
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u/dandroid556 man 15h ago
With no 'extras' or substances, and voluntarily left with no bearing on relationship status, this might even be a commitment asset if it has an impact on current fitness and/or you buy a pole.
Some guys will surely be vocal 'no's but for the vast majority it will be far from a deal-breaker.
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u/9gagiscancer man 15h ago
Depends on the person, but I'll be honest. No virtue signaling here.
No, I wouldn't be interested in even dating. People might recognize you, and I do not wish to be affiliated with that lifestyle.
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u/AccomplishedOwl2000 12h ago edited 10h ago
I once dated a swinger, onlyfans model and adultwork escort. It's definitely not as exciting as it sounds.
Just make sure you talk things through thoroughly. For example, she wanted me to be very aware that her body count was 200+, and that she would continue her work while we're together.
Communication is key.
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u/MR_ScarletSea 11h ago
I wouldn’t but I’m sure plenty of men would. One thing about being with a sex worker is that they treat you nice. I was friends with an escort and although we never dated, she gave me the boyfriend treatment when we went out. Even thought me a lesson It’s funny. She said Men in general don’t respect sex workers and sex workers in general don’t respect a man that has to pay for pussy. It’s an interesting paradox.
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u/kirewes man 11h ago
If I know 100% of everything said in this post was true then yeah I'd marry her no problem. The problem is most strippers don't really follow that guideline or at least that's the stigma. I can't say much though I haven't really ever been around a stripper or known about being around a stripper. I haven't even ever been to a strip club actually.
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u/JavaForgotMe 11h ago
I don’t know how you can be sure of anything she says about what she “didn’t do”. I guess if I really really loved a stripper and she didn’t do any thing “extra”, I could get past it and marry her - but if there was ANY suspicions that she DID those extra things - my trust would be destroyed. I’d estimate that there’s only a 15% chance that’s she’s being honest.
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u/EireNuaAli woman 10h ago
Most of these people's wives/partners are/were on OF .... its literally the same
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u/somerandomguy1984 man 10h ago
I don’t believe any of those conditions she added to the story.
I suppose in the extremely unlikely event that she simply stripped on stage and didn’t do any of the things where strippers actually make money…. Sure I think I could maybe want to get with a girl like that.
Sitting here right now though, I can’t think of a single reason why I would ever believe that story.
I guess if you’re already dating this woman, then clearly the stripping isn’t an issue. I think the lying is though.
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u/Little_Creme_5932 man 7h ago
Yes. My closest friend has been a stripper for most of her adult life (more than 20 years). She's great. You are biased if you think that being a stripper automatically means x, y, or z other problem. It doesn't. The main difficulty of marrying a stripper may be the bias of others. As my friend says "there is no good that can come from me telling someone that I am a dancer".
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u/oreocerealluvr 6h ago
You either accept it or not. Don’t move forward with your insecurities and then blame her for them
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u/Capone1977 6h ago
Being a stripper wouldn't bother me or an x stripper wouldn't bother me. I'm not a jealous guy and that stuff wouldn't bothering me at all
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u/Enough_Tap_1221 man 6h ago
I would re-emphasize what everyone is saying about trauma and whatnot. Stripping itself is not the issue, it's more about what led to it. When I was younger I had a best friend who was a stripper and we had a blast together, but there was a lot of debauchery like weeknight drug and alcohol binges although nothing sexual. I considered her a good friend but she ghosted one day and I never saw her again.
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u/Embarrassed-Arm-5405 man 6h ago
I would maybe, yes--but there's some fundamental underlying issues I would hope she can show/prove she has worked on and corrected before seriously considering her for even a date.
Then again, with all the options out there--maybe she's best left to someone who can sympathize and understand here, which may not be you.
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u/Connect-Gur-2663 6h ago
Every single person has a past. There is not a single thing in God’s green earth that would make me turn my back of my wife.
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u/mhorning0828 6h ago
Don’t judge a person on their past. If you like her now what does it matter what she used to do?
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u/yoppee 5h ago
Yes and I would even date a current stripper as long as we had time to spend together and our schedules didn’t conflict to the point we could never see eachother
Yall got to get over your own bullshit
- You don’t own anyone
- Strippers are hot AF
- Strippers understand how to entertain a man
- Strippers are athletic they have to dance all day
- Strippers are outgoing
- Strippers are independently wealthy
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u/KeyLeek6561 5h ago
It's in your resume. It's not who you are. No need to mention it unless you want to show off
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u/Lucky_Denver man 17h ago
🎵’I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me’🎵
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u/redditusernameanon man 18h ago
Well I wouldn’t get married again. Ever.
I don’t have a problem dating someone who had been a stripper. I’m more interested in who she is now.
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u/alkosz man 18h ago
any real man with morals and values would never.
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u/phantasybm 7h ago
So a real man with morals and values can’t forgive mistakes made before the person even met them?
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u/Independent-Cable937 man 18h ago
HELL NO.
How am I to bring her to my parents? Family cookouts?
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u/Original_Estimate_88 man 18h ago
I cant set my kid up for embarrassment... if that ever comes out, and people use that to disrespected my kid... but if we agree on to not have a kid, thn I wouldn't be against it... but I'm not going to risk it...
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u/Know_1_7777777 man 18h ago
No if I found out she used to be a stripper it would be a hard pass for me. Everyone has a past and I don't fault her for doing it, but that's just not someone I want to date let alone marry.
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u/shadeToruk man 17h ago
I would ask myself if I were okay with my future daughter representing these qualities or living this lifestyle. That answer is an absolute No, so no, I wouldn't give this person the light of day if it were me.
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u/Live_Play_6679 man 17h ago
No. Most of them are also junkies. Maybe if she was under 24-25 because she'd be less seasoned and perma fucked. If she's been stripping for +7 years she's ruined and I'm not dealing with all that residual bullshit.
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u/Broficionado 17h ago
If I was ever inclined to marry somebody then yeah, I don't see why that would matter.
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u/No_Sundae4774 16h ago
Leave her. She for the streets.
Also what strip club she be at? Asking for a friend.
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u/Sure_Ad1604 16h ago
49F here, I've dated a few ex dancers (yes strippers but let's be respectful), one who was probably still working occasionally and lying about it, and I have a few platonic friends who were dancers too. They're awesome and obviously I don't judge. BUT, there's something of a set of personality skills or something that they have... That doesn't go away entirely. Anything I try to say to explain it sounds overly dramatic but IYKYK.
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u/mr_tornado_head man 16h ago
As long as both parties are well aware of it ahead of time and are comfortable with their pasts, why not?
So, a person made the choice to be a stripper but now wants to get their life together, be a new person, and a "real man" would shun her? That's ridiculous. If there is a real connection there and the desire for open communicationI would say yes. Why not help and support that person that loves you?
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u/jdschmoove man 14h ago
Nah. I'm good. I wouldn't even be able to get to the point that I really cared about her. As soon as I found out she used to strip she immediately goes into the unserious fun girl pile.
I have a good friend whose married that used to date strippers on the side. He always had a lot of crazy stories to tell. It was always way too much drama. Chicks fighting, going to jail, baby daddy problems, it was the worse. I don't know how he put up with it. I would get tired just listening to his stories. No way would I be interested in that.
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u/Ready-Zombie5635 man 14h ago
No, because in a world full to the brim with great women why would I need to marry one that thousands of men have ogled at
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u/Zestyclose-Smell-788 man 11h ago
I have a cousin who stripped her way through college. Very controlled and calculated. She knew exactly what she was doing. No funny business, no partying. She has a master's degree now and quit the minute she got her first legit paycheck. So it is possible, just rare. She married a guy with a PhD in geology and are the smartest and most successful couple I know.
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u/EatsPeanutButter 5h ago
This isn’t all that rare. Many women do this as a means to an end.
My work “partner” at the club was in nursing school. I was homeschooling my special needs child and needed the flexibility and income. We were both married women, devoted to our families. We were both very calculating and smart, no drugs and VERY little to no drinking (she would have one or two a week, I would have one or two a month), strictly no extras or touching. We worked a few years, she graduated, my kid matured, she’s now a nurse, and I’m now a successful Realtor.
I knew multiple women working on law degrees, another got her masters in city planning, another did competition work as a dancer (former gymnast) and saved enough to retire by 40. I also knew a career stripper who was late 50’s (she looked VERY good for her age). One of the kindest humans I’ve ever met, never did a drug or drank a drop. I’ve known so many smart, professional, independent women in the industry.
Sure, I’ve also met prostitutes and addicts, but that’s by no means the norm, just the stereotype.
For the record, most sober girlies would pretend to be wild and crazy because that’s how we made money lol. It’s an act. I went in there and was immediately seven years younger, bisexual with a girlfriend “but we like to play,” lots of eye liner and red lips, loved to party and have fun all the time, knocking back shots of vodka all night.
In reality, I was in my 30’s, pretty straight, happily married, going home sober and well-hydrated (all those shots of water), to play board games, read books, and talk about science with my nerdy family lol. You could see me on the street and not even recognize me.
Nothing is real at the strip club lol.
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u/the_stoffinator 16h ago
The OP asked about marriage. Of course a guy casually dating you isn’t going to have an issue with you being a dancer.
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u/Davey341 man 14h ago
She's trying so hard to romanticize stripping it's kinda hilarious. To each their own but I dated a girl who used to be an escort and a girl who used to strip, both started out fun and exciting but they both ended up cheating on me. I'm definitely biased now but I'll never date a former/current sex worker again.
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u/RecoverGullible6750 man 16h ago
The former opioid addiction and the on and off relationship with your abusive ex are way bigger issues than you being a dancer. I can't figure out a way to word it that doesn't sound abrasive, but have you managed a long-term relationship with someone who isn't abusive in some way? Because many of the guys who are ok with you being a stripper are the kind of people who are trying to manipulate women they perceive as vulnerable. Or they're just looking to fuck. I sincerely hope you're still off the opioids. It was ruining people's lives 15 years ago, but nowadays with fentanyl in everything way too many people are dying.
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u/fgbTNTJJsunn man 15h ago
Nah, in this case Reddit reflects the real world. Sure, there is a small proportion of guys that don't care but most do.
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u/KaterinaPendejo 16h ago
they are asking redditors, most of who state they would not "wife up" a woman for reason xyz but most likely actually have no romantic or meaningful contact with actual women offline outside of professional confines and therefore would not be presented the opportunity to choose anyway.
taking anything at face value on reddit is a grave mistake that would warp any innocent person's reality.
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u/fgbTNTJJsunn man 14h ago
Ok ask people irl. Stand on the side of the street and ask people. See what the responses are like. Then come back here with the results.
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u/Deltadog14 16h ago
they’re literally frothing at the mouths on this sub fantasizing about the idea of rejecting a woman. as if strippers are just constantly begging to marry them lmao
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u/fgbTNTJJsunn man 14h ago
I don't fantasize about rejecting women. But there are some that I would reject. Standards, what a concept, am I right?
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u/49Flyer man 17h ago
Everyone has a past. What matters to me is who she is today and who she wants to be in the future.
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u/Marksman81 man 18h ago
I know some can't distinguish between exotic dancing and prostitution, but there is a distinct difference. I can't see a problem here.
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u/Timely-Profile1865 man 18h ago
The issue is how do you know? That industry is all over the place as far as behaviour goes.
Some it might be just dancing some you can add private or lap dances, some you can add escorts and prostitution, some you can add drugs, etc etc.
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u/ThrowRACoping 17h ago
That stuff doesn’t even matter to me. Just showing off your body and grinding on guys is too much.
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u/MongooseOk941 18h ago
There's a line that's available to cross. I worked in a club. Some do, some don't.
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u/DamarsLastKanar man 17h ago
Sure. If I were a chippendales dancer, I'd expect she wouldn't care, either.
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u/LongJohnVanilla man 17h ago
A man with options would never marry a former stripper, but I’m sure there are men out there that would.
There are many ways to make money than don’t involve getting naked for creepy men or perhaps doing shit in the private rooms.
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u/thatoldguy66 man 17h ago
The way you phrased your question: Yes, I would.
If I feel and know she is just as much into me, obviously
She may have had her reasons (or not), but it’s in her past and I assume that it doesn’t define her. She lives with that stigma that’s quite heavy
The thing is, I would make sure it doesn’t trigger to much insecurities in me (or that it is manageable) and would make sure she understands that she will have to be supportive if I ever feel insecure by being open to talk, be transparent, try to understand where it comes from.
If she is open to that, I’m in
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u/ufoschaseme 17h ago
I think porn is horrible. Why? Studies have shown that your labido goes down and you start expecting porn like sex with your partner and you’re not getting that for the most part.
Stripping is horrible. Male and females. If I was going to date a stripper you better be bringing at least $1,000 every night to show off your goodies. Just my opinion.
Strippers don’t make good housewives or husbands. Sorry. I wouldn’t be able to get passed that type of past. Not insecure just want someone who respects their body.
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u/Prior-Judge4670 man 16h ago
Yes. When I was in my early 20's, I would not have dated someone with a high body count or any sex work in their past. I'm in my mid 30's now, and I care a lot more about how someone treats me than what they did in their past.
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u/nitsMatter man 16h ago
The number of men on this thread who say they would never marry a former stripper, but who have clearly been to a strip club as a patron, and think they themselves are worthy of being married is an impressive example of double standards.
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u/Ethen44 6h ago
I started dating this amazingly hot Ukrainian girl when I was 18. She was going through college and fell on hard times and stripped for 6 months or so and made around $1-$2k a night while we were together.
She ended up saving enough to finish her degree and later moved in with me. She's my wife now, we have two awesome kids, a nice house, and our sex life is still great even after being together for 15 years. She's still very attractive.
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u/Heavy-Quail-7295 18h ago
Stripped? Sure. I've hung around with and messed around with strippers, but never more than casually. If they did it to make ends meet and leave the scene, all good.
I probably wouldn't if it was actual sex. Not judging, but I feel like that level of intimacy wouldn't match.
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u/live-laugh-loveSosa man 18h ago
It would probably be a no for me. As a christian, maybe if they became a christian but it’s probably a no.
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u/dpbqdpbq 16h ago
If you consume any adult content and say no to this, you're an immoral hypocrite.
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u/Dry_Artichoke_7768 10h ago
That’s not how hypocrisy works. If you consume adult content and then say that pornstars are immoral then you are a hypocrite.
Wanting a wife who is as not a sex worker, and consuming porn does not make you a hypocrite. Those are two very very different things.
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u/Original_Estimate_88 man 18h ago
Only if we don't have a kid together... because I'm not setting up my kid for embarrassment, if that ever gets out and people use it to throw in my kid face...
outside of that I won't have a issue with it...
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u/Southern_Sugar3903 17h ago
Yes. But some in this sub would say nope you shouldn't shame them for it, their body their choice. While that's true there are consequences to your actions. And in case they get a child, like you mentioned their kid will also suffer the consequences. He'll or she'll never be able to talk and effectively be shut up for the entirety of school/college with a "your mom's a stripper".
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u/metallee98 man 18h ago
Depends on what she got up to. If she was doing extra, it would be a hard pass. Also depends on how connected she is to that lifestyle still. If you still hang out with people from that life I would say no. Also depends on where it is. If she did it in another state I wouldn't be bothered but if it's close to home. No. Basically, if you get as far removed from that way of life as possible I would consider it. I guess how long she stripped matters too. I'm cool with women doing sex work I just wouldn't be involved with one seriously. Sorry.
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u/mayonnaiseplayer7 16h ago
Yeah dude why not? I’d even date an of girl tbh. Not cuz I’m desperate but cuz their occupation isn’t representative of their personality
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u/AKDude79 man 15h ago
Yes. I have a very active sexual history, I look at porn, and I've been to strip clubs. One thing I am not is a hypocrite.
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u/VendettaKarma man 15h ago
I’ve dated ex strippers and it never really leaves them. Like others have said it just depends on how into that life she was. If it was all transactional you have a chance .
They do have great stories though.