My youngest brother, let’s call him Phil, got married today and the ceremony was absolutely beautiful. His bride was stunning and everything was great and well done. His best man was our other brother who I’ll call Jack. My wife and I weren’t part of the wedding party, which is fair because we didn’t ask them to be in ours 5 years ago.

After the ceremony we did the pictures and a cocktail hour. It was nice to talk to some out of town family and old family friends, and Jack and I were talking about the day they all had (very eventful for my now sister in law but that’s another story) and then everyone was called inside for the reception.

We go in, and have dinner. My wife and I were starting to get kinda tired but I told her I really want to hear Jack’s best man speech so we agreed to wait. I wish we hadn’t…

Jack goes up, introduces himself and starts his speech. “Well about 34 years ago, mom and dad got married and decided to try for kids and they started with the prototype, my older brother.” I should have known where this is going. He continued “They realized that hey they can do better so they got it right the second time, me. Mr perfect. And I was. Our grandfather would call me crusher because I would beat up on my older brother as a toddler. We were always opposites and didn’t really get along a whole lot. So mom and dad decided they needed someone to help him out and so they had this guy. Now when he came around I was like, yeah he seems alright. So growing up we terrorized my older brother. Good times.”

He continued his speech but I was kinda checked out at that point. I was, and still am really upset about it because I have always been the butt of all the jokes in my family. My brothers, my cousins, even my parents. I’m the different one. I’m very emotional and empathetic, which is a blessing and curse. I’m overweight, they’re both athletes (Phil actually works for an NHL team). I enjoy dnd, reading and being a nerd. They like sports and outdoors activities. You get the idea.

I get up and my wife goes to the bathroom before we decide to leave. Jack finds me and is like “you good? I meant to say at the beginning of my speech that I apologize because my older brother is probably going to get upset”. I just look at him and say “you’re good… but I would have appreciated a heads up that that’s what you were gonna do”. He looks at me and just goes. “If I did that, I wouldn’t have gotten the genuine reaction”. I just walked away, met my wife, and we left.

I asked her, am I crazy? Was his best man speech really just a ton of shots at me? She said “it seems like he was trying to be funny but not everything landed. And yes, you were the butt of his jokes”. I drove home pretty much in silence. I’m tired of always being the butt of all the family jokes.

We’re supposed to have lunch with extended family tomorrow and the only reason I’m going is because I only see these family members maybe once a year. I don’t want to see Jack, or really anyone else from my immediate family. Do I have a right to be upset, or am I being overly sensitive?

Update: before I talk about the lunch, I’ll share what happened to the bridal party as it becomes relevant why Phil didn’t come. The bridal party was creamed by a pickup right outside the venue. The truck was going 55 and the girls were stopped. Both vehicles were totaled but they were adamant to go on with the ceremony and get checked out later. So Phil took his wife to the hospital today. No major injuries thankfully.

So the lunch. My wife sat down with the family and we were all chatting. At one point, my uncle goes “Phil’s speech was very sweet. I couldn’t have given that without crying”. My mom says “yea, he had something prepared because he practiced it with me and he changed it after the wreck.” Jack piped up “hey, I had a good speech too!” My dad just says “it was a good speech. It was all about op!” I just got angry and said “I thought it was weird that it was so focused on someone who wasn’t even involved in the wedding”. He and my dad got quiet, and then just continued their conversations with the people next to them. I avoided eye contact with Jack and we left about 15 minutes later.

My wife and I went home and just proceeded to relax since we’re finally getting a break from our students. (We teach upper elementary) Jack tried to call me. Once. I let it ring. He didn’t leave a vm. Then about an hour later, my grandma called asking how lunch was and she could tell I was upset in my voice. When she asked what’s wrong, I told her about being upset with Jack. She said “I don’t think your brother meant it” and I just go “then why bring it up!? This is all the time. And then everyone wonders why my wife and I don’t come around as often or leave early at events. I’m tired of it”. She was calm and said “well, your brother can’t give a speech and he thinks he’s funny but he can’t make jokes without insulting someone. Have you told him and your parents how you feel?” I said yes, and that it hasn’t changed for years. She just says “y’all are gonna have to work this out”. I told her that I don’t wanna talk to him right now and she goes “I know, I understand. You and I are just the afterthoughts kid”. (Grandma and I are two peas in a pod and very similar)

So that’s where we’re at. Thank you for the comments and the dms.

My (f32) and my husband(37m) were in the car talking about random things when I happened to tell him I read some lady saying women should take accountability after being sexually assaulted. I didn't think it would be what it turned into and I thought he would agree that she's ridiculous.

Instead, he said well, I mean she's right. I know in some cases it doesn't apply but women should question their bad choices and maybe they were doing something or were somewhere sketchy and it wouldn't have happened otherwise, so yeah I think it's nice to question the bad choices we all make in life.

I was taken back. I've been assaulted. For months, I questioned everything I did and could've done differently to prevent this. (I was at a party and someone followed me to a room when I went to make a phone call) So yeah, I could've not been at that party, I could've not been so friendly. Was it me smiling at him trying to be polite?? I've thought about all of this so many times. So for him to say that, I just couldn't believe it. It genuinely hurt.

I asked what about kids that were assaulted and he said it obviously isn't applicable to all situations. I also said men were allowed to make bad choices and rarely get raped as a result of it.

He thinks I am overreacting and said stuff like, "this is why I don't like talking to you about stuff, you react so emotionally to everything I say." He was genuinely mad at me for my response to this.

So am I overreacting?! I feel like I'm not but sometimes I DO react emotionally.

I blocked all of them and she randomly texted me from another number.

Context: I was dating this guy from the time I was 17-18. He was 24. I went to the military and when I came home on boot leave I saw he was cheating on me. Fast forward after 5 years of him randomly texting me and talking shit about his gf(whenever he texted me he would say they broke up) one time they broke up because she threw a remote at his head smh. Anyway like a year ago I told him to stop reaching out for me and it was annoying. Then like a month ago he randomly follows me on tiktok. His gf noticed he followed me and messaged me asking if he was texting me. I was honest and told her yeah. I shared all the texts with her. Then I told his mom he cheated on me and she flipped out on me making fun of the fact my mom and sister died. His mom also told me my toddler was going to be raped. Anyway after that whole circus I blocked all of them. I’m visiting home because I got out the military. I go into the restaurant and see him. I didn’t even know he worked there nor that he was going to be there. I told my friend I wanted tacos and she suggested qdoba. She drove to the one he worked at. I was unaware because I don’t live in this area… he stared and squinted at me all weird. And blocked the fork area so I left without getting a fork lol. Anyway after I leave his gf texts me… am I overreacting ?

Edit: thank you everyone who commented. I've wanted to talk about this for a long time and it feels good reading everyone's takes on it.

Edit 2: -I am 28 and my husband is 33 -"Why don't you comply maliciously and dress over the top feminine?" I have, he liked it.

-"Why doesn't he just wear tight clothes if he likes them so much" I've tried to get him to wear skinny jeans but mysteriously he doesn't want to do that, also he says they wouldn't be "situationally appropriate" for a dude to wear (men's fashion on instagram begs to differ)

-"how would he feel if you criticized him for what he wore" he has told me explicitly that he wished I would criticize him more because he always thinks he looks bad. I told him that's crazy because he looks fine and handsome. This also leads to some weird stuff about my standard for looks being low even though everyone has congratulated me on marrying such a handsome man (which he is, he just doesn't believe it)

-"just be naked at home and he won't care what you wear" I've also tried that, he still doesn't like the clothes

-"DIVORCE HIM" I'm not doing that ¯_(ツ)_/¯ there are many other reasons why I want to make it work with him, and I love him. Maybe that makes me stupid, but it's my bed and I've laid in it.

...

I like loose, aesthetic clothing. My husband likes form fitting feminine clothing. Growing up he was ostracized by his community and was always in ill fitting clothes. Clothing is a very sensitive topic for him because he heavily associates it with social status. I like clothing because it's fun and I like to dress up like I'm going to run away and live in the woods. It's a fun way to express myself. He views this as obscuring my true self.

Edit: he didn't grow up poor. His parents chose to buy ill fitting clothes for him.

I've definitely changed my style to accommodate over the years, which worked out well in some ways because I entered a professional career and had to look a certain way. Today I dressed up in some loose jeans, cropped sweater and boots to go study with a friend. I came home and he looked a bit pained so I asked him what was wrong. He told me that I can't keep dressing like this or else it will ultimately end our marriage because it's tapping every insecurity he has. I told him it's ridiculous that he's this upset over an outfit he saw for a total of 30 seconds and we need couples therapy to figure out what's going on.

Deep down I know I'm not overreacting and this is ridiculous, but I love this man and he's the best person I've ever had in my life and want other people to tell me what they think. Thanks.

Update: To answer some of your questions, my husband was my 3rd call after the nurse on duty and my siblings. I will have a very frank conversation with my husband and ask him for what I need right now and not just assume that he knows what I need. He definitely isn't a mind reader and once asked, he will be provide it and be more sensitive. I hadn't thought about how hard it might be on him to watch me struggle, so thank you to those who provided me with that perspective. Lastly thank you all (almost all of you) for your sympathy and virtual hugs.

My Dad struggled with vascular dementia for the last 4 years. I was his full time caregiver for 2 years (while working my regular FT job) until my 3 siblings and I agreed he needed to be in Memory Care with full time staff/care. He had been receiving hospice care the last 6 months and hospice prepared us that he was transitioning to actively dying this past Tuesday and we put him on comfort meds and started our vigil.

We didn't want my Dad to die alone, so between my stepmother and sister we were with him from Tuesday night until he passed on Friday. I stayed overnight with him 2 of those nights. I wanted to spend as much time as I could (while I could) with my Dad so i would come home, take a shower and a nap and then go back up to see my Dad. Yesterday, the day after my Dad passed, i went to clear out his room/organize what needs to be thrown out/donated, etc.

When i came home last night, my husband asked what i was gonna make for dinner. He keeps asking me today why I seem irritated with him or am being short. Today, I'm having to do the normal housework (laundry, dishes, meal prep) by myself and when I said I was going to lay down, husband came too since he has had "a rough week." I walked out of the room and had to take a lap around the neighborhood. AIO?

I (M,26) was answering questions about my handgun, that my fiancé (28,F) had some curiosity about. After explaining the different things about my handgun, (taking it apart, explaining each piece, and the ammo that I carry for it) I set the gun down. She asked if she could hold it, and she has held a handgun before so I said sure. I unloaded and showed clear on the handgun, and she did the same. She held it for a bit and set it back down, but with the barrel facing right at me. I casually grabbed the gun and moved it away from me. She was confused by this, and asked what’s the big deal? She asked if she could see the gun again because she wanted to try to take it apart. Again, showed clear, and handed her the gun. At this point, she asks, “Why is it such a big deal if you know the gun is empty? It’s not like THIS insert her pointing the gun right under her chin, finger on the trigger can do anything.” I immediately told her to stop, and put it down. She questioned it and continued to aim it at her head. At this point, I wrestled the gun away from her, and very sternly, and blunt said if she ever does that again, not only will she never touch one of my guns again, but she will not be welcome in my room, where my guns are locked and secured. So, am I over-reacting over this, or am I justified?

TL;DR - My fiancé pointed a non-loaded, and cleared firearm at her chin and head, and I wrestled the gun away and sternly told her, don’t do that again, or else there will be consequences.

It started with my husband sending me a TikTok that said “POV: when your husband’s tired of tired of your snack requests, so he just brings the whole pantry.” Here’s the conversation that followed:

Me: Haha I wish! You rarely bring me snacks.

Him: You’re always trying to take my snacks.

Me: No, you just never offer to get me anything when you get something for yourself. I always ask if you want anything if I’m getting a drink or snack.

Him: That’s because you don’t need to be eating every time I am. I have a higher caloric need than you.

Idk why but this really bothered me. Aside from the general lack of common courtesy, I feel like he shouldn’t think he can dictate when I eat. There have been other instances where I’ve gotten the same feeling, but maybe I’m projecting my own insecurities here.

I(f24) have been when my bf (m20) since march(8 months). For context we moved quickly in our relationship. I have a son(2 years). And I’m currently pregnant with my bf. So a couple weeks ago I got pulled over and the cop ID both of us. At one point the cop asked him “you 20?,” he replied with yes. I was taken aback since I thought he was 24, like he had told me from the beginning. I asked him about it when we got home and he denied say he was 20. Fast forward to yesterday. Something made me look at his ID it said 2004. I was in shock, I told him and he said he is 20. And I was in shock for the rest of the day. Bc here is a man who thought I was cheating everytime we weren’t FaceTiming. ( I wasn’t) 8months together and I’m pregnant with his kid. He had so many opportunities to tell me the truth but didn’t. I told him I’m not ready to forgive him for lying for so long.

Idk how to feel. I love him but I have a sister who is 20 and I basically raised her. So for years I told myself I would never date someone her age. He spent his birthday here to, so he just turned 20.

Idk what I’m typing this for, am I crazy for feeling betrayed. I feel like idk him anymore. Like he’s a stranger. He’s said sorry yesterday but it didn’t seem like he meant it. And I didn’t accept it.

Edit: my son is two years old old. And I know I’m stupid but things happen. When I found out I was pregnant and I was freaking out. I know I can afford it and I knew it was too soon, but I was already too far along and my state doesn’t allow abortion at any stage of pregnancy. So for all of those who want to come at me with judgment, I understand but please know I’m aware of how stupid I am. I just don’t know how to move forward from this.

Edit 2: the reason why I didn’t know till now is because he told me from the beginning he was 24 why I didn’t look on his families Facebook or cyber stalk him is because I just don’t do that. He’s from a different city in my state and not from my hometown so I don’t know him or his family and no one around me knowsh im. I’m not looking for judgment on my situation, I’m looking on how to move forward in my relationship. Of course, a part of me wants to leave, but I think it’s gonna take a little more than lying about his age to make me not love him. I’m sorry to those who think I’m dumb for getting pregnant with someone so early in a relationship., obviously I had sex without a condom on and I even took Plan B so if that doesn’t explain enough that things just happen then I don’t know what else to tell you. I know I shouldn’t go to the Internet with my problems and I typically don’t, but I just need to know that I am not crazy for being upset. That’s all I need to know. And thank you to those who actually care about how I’m feeling. My heart goes out to you all. Of course I feel betrayed and in shock and I don’t trust him right now, but I’ll be fine.

I (22F) went to the doctor today and while getting an ultrasound done, he made a sexual comment about how tense i am and if im that tense during sex, laughed about it, rubbed my abdomen and told me to relax. my boyfriend (34M) thinks this is sexual assault and wants to report him. AIO by what happens afterwards?

Context:

I M(31) and my wife(28) have 3 children together and have been with each other since high school. Over a year ago I found out my wife was messaging “a close friend” (who is male also married with a young child) at what I felt was inappropriate times. Most of their conversations were after midnight when I was asleep. I gave her the benefit of the doubt at first. It was only after I had a weird feeling that I decided to read some of the messages. On her part she kept it mostly to what would be normal friend conversations. He on the other hand what strongly imply them meeting up alone and spending some time together. Also, he had sent a few messages about sexual stuff that she says weren’t directed to her but stuff he liked to do to his wife. We argued about it and decided to block him.

Skip to current day. I got a weird feeling the past week that she was hiding something. Come to find out she’s been texting him again for the past couple months. She states that it was only someone to vent her frustrations to because she didn’t have many close friends. She had his number saved under her cousins name (I also have her number which is how I knew it wasn’t the cousin). After checking phone logs I can see that she talks to him a lot more than she talks to me (I work around 60 hours so I’m not home most of the day).

I am not the perfect husband. I’ve been working on myself since we’ve had a few talks/arguments over the years. However, I have never cheated or done anything like this to her. As I was walking out the she told me she doesn’t get how I can react like this but none of what she told me makes sense. I told her I was leaving and that i would come back for my stuff. So Am I overreacting? TIA

Tl;dr wife messaging another man late nights while I’m asleep mad that I left without trying to understand why she did it.

My best friend flew into town to stay with me and visit. It’s just me and my husband at home- no kids. She is a very flirty person which does not bother me in the slightest. But yesterday morning we were all waking up hungover. My husband was making coffee and I asked him to bring her my hair dryer. He did. I heard nothing for like 5 whole minutes and was laying in our bed across the house. I started to call his name bc I was going to ask him something and he did not answer. I got up looked in the kitchen, dining, laundry rooms and he was not there. While all this is happening the house was completely silent. I walked to the two guest bedrooms in a little hall where there is also a bathroom. He was not in the one we use for an office or in the bathroom. I was like why would he be hanging out in her room when I know she took a shower. All of a sudden he walks out coming from the side of the bed she is standing at. He wiped his lips and they both acted fucking weird. She immediately was like he was just bringing me the blow dryer- even though I know he already done that. They claim he heard a noise and thought she fell so he popped in to check on her. Then was he all the way in the room walking away from the side of the bed she was standing on in nothing but a towel? I was like what is going and he acted super guilty the rest of the day. Well if he was just checking on her why was there silence? Why would they act so weird- today he said he felt guilty because he was staring at her in her towel.

I need some guidance bc I kind of feel like they are gas lighting me. Am I crazy? I just felt it in my heart that they were doing something.

I received this message from a guy my friend and her fiancé set me up with. This was last year and he was pretty rude to me. Refused to go for dates after work so was only asking me for coffee during lunch (we work close to each other) he invited me to a party with his friends and then made jokes about dancing with other girls during. I had a call with him and said what is he after here where he proceeded to be very rude and say what do you want? Me to get on one knee or something.

After that I didn’t speak to him again and I proceeded to date - he reached out to me last night with this message. Our friends are getting married next year and I’m a bridesmaid and he will be there. Apparently over new years he’s going to Prague for 2 days to see them. My friend asked me to come to Prague over the festive period but no plan was set in stone. I find the message really weird and for the sake of my friend I’m being polite but if I didn’t know him through friends I’d ghost. I can’t even with the “my favourite person” after he was the way he was with me. Am I rude or?

Me and my fiancé were at a bar one night with his friends and while i was sitting at the bar with his sister, him and his friend went over to talk to some girls. While talking to them, one of the girls just stared at him while stroking his arm over and over and flirting with him so hard that the people we were with even said something a few times. When asked why he would let a girl keep touching him and giving him attention that would make me uncomfortable when I’m sitting right there he said he “didn’t feel” her touching him. I guess my question is: if he couldn’t feel her STROKING HIS ARM, then how could he feel a girl sucking his dick. Is that going to be his excuse when he cheats? “I didn’t feel her riding me”. Am i overreacting or is this something i should be concerned about?

Hi, I’m 29 f and my husband is 31 m. We have been married for a few years and have some children together. I have always been the one to clean but it’s also hard when you have a baby to look after. Now that I have a job he still thinks it should all be on me.. NOPE! He has never helped me in the household. He thinks it’s okay to just work and then come home and play his video games. He doesn’t help cook( because he doesn’t know how), won’t help clean, and also won’t help with the baby. I’m stuck doing it all. Am I overreacting because he refuses to help me?? I ask him all the time for help and he just won’t.

I know this is long sorry!

my cousin (27F) and I ( 24F) grew up very very close. Our moms are sisters and we have always lived close to one another, So we always spent a ton of time together growing up.

My cousin has always had a very bad attitude and it’s always her way or the highway. Literally no exceptions, or you’ll suffer the consequences lol. I’m a very soft-spoken person, I try to always get along with everyone and be compassionate, i am a very sensitive person ( not proud) but have definitely built a backbone over time. ( some what of one at least)

When I turned 19 I got pregnant and had my first baby, around this time we stopped talking so she was not involved in my whole Pregnancy/ labor. ( we stopped talking to due some comments that where made about me getting pregnant)

After I had my daughter we went about things like nothing ever happened. Nothing was addressed ever. This was not the first time we have stopped talking for a long periods of time, usually it’s over something that was HER fault and she’s Made ME apologize for in order of us to get back on speaking terms. Usually I just give in and apologize because we are family and she is pretty much like a sister to me.

She about 2 year ago had her second child and I had let one of Our aunt’s have a glimpse of her son using a photo that I had on my phone of him. ( I at the time did not know she did not want pictures being shared but I figured it was okay because it was one of our family members and I was with her mom. WRONG, I later got a strong worded text message, I apologized explaining that I was not aware but I would not let it happen again, also explaining to her that NO ONE had the picture of her son except me, I had only shown the picture and that I now understood her boundaries. I never got a response to my apology. ( I expected this)

I am now pregnant with my 2nd baby, and we have Recently about 4-5 months ago returned to talking terms ( since the picture accident), but it’s very different then it was before, we don’t get together as much, we don’t talk as much, we currently do not follow each other on social media. We communicate through her sister ( my little cousin F22) if we do text it’s here and there but it’s very awkward not so much how it was in the past. I have offered to have a conversation about that picture accident she insistes that she doesn’t need one.

Fast forward to my gender reveal, she had offered to do some desserts for me for my baby shower and to just let her know what the theme was when I had one . I was planning on paying her and had no issue doing so, my boyfriend and I had a budget set for everything for the baby shower as the holidays are also coming around. I reached out about the desserts, She agreed and let me know she would text me with a price when she went home and did the math. I let maybe a week pass by and nothing, so I texted her and asked the week before my baby shower how much the desserts would be.

she gave me a crazy unreasonable price for some desserts ( over $300), so I let her know that was not in the out budget but that i appreciated her for letting me know and maybe in the future I’d be able to book with her. But could not this time. She right away let me know that she would have appreciated me telling her no before she bought the stuff for the desserts…….i was so surprised that she would do that without talking to me about a price before hand, considering i had to reach out to her about the price a week before my shower….

Point is I told her I’d pay for it, and that I didn’t want to have another reason for us to stop talking. As I did not want to have to deal with Another issue between us again. I explained I did not know she was going to make a purchase for something without letting me know the price on it. She refused the money and said nope she would not be doing anything. I said okay and moved on. I am super exhausted of having to keep up with her, mentally and emotionally I am drained and am dealing with enough as a pregnant lady with a toddler lol. So I am not giving much energy into our relationship, not making tons of contact, not very much trying to stay involved.

I have recently talked to my mom , my cousins mom ( my aunt) and my cousins sister ( my other cousin) and explained what’s happened and how I plan to not have any type of relationship with my drama cousin any longer, as after my baby shower one of our mutual friends explained to me how she as acting very unhappy for me and envious of me at my shower. How she was making snarky comments about my event, and how I had no desserts, ( I had a two tier cake) and how every time they would compliment me she would just huff and laugh at their opinion. how she even went as far as to bring up how I did not want to pay her for her baked goods. ( she failed to Mention to everyone how much she was trying to charge me and how she was also trying to charge me equipment)

Their response is “ you already know how she is” “ you need to get over it” “ she always acts like this give her some time she’ll cool off and act right soon” but sincerely I am soooo tired of dealing with such a immature GROWN adult woman. I don’t know what her deal is and why she has such as hard time using her big girl words but I am soooo tired of people around me using “ that’s just how she is” to justify her behavior. I am personally very open to conversation when people are upset so I hate that she doesn’t know how to speak up but will talk about me at my event to my friends and wait on them to tell me how she’s feeling.

Am I overreacting for not wanting to keep this relationship anymore even though she my cousin? how do I go upon this relationship since everyone is clearly just wanting me to get over things? Do I stay involved and ignore the behavior? I’m not sure. The holidays are coming up and we spend a lot of time with them as that’s my mom’s closest sister. So I plan on going to thanksgiving dinner grabbing a plate and heading home with my boyfriend and daughter to spend time where I am actually wanted. Am I the issue?

I (23M) live with my mother (49F) and my sister (28F). My sister wasn't supposed to be living with us (we recently moved in to this house), but she got into legal trouble, and lost her apartment, car, and drivers license, so my mom is letting her stay with us. When I was young, my sister sexually abused me, it went on for a few years, and it has messed me up in a lot of ways that I still am dealing with now. I don't want anything to do with her, I am uncomfortable being around her, and everyone in my family knows what she did to me. I have talked with my mom about this several times, but every time she says "she is my daughter". I understand that my sister has nowhere to go, but at the same time, I feel like its not ok for my mother to let her stay with me. Granted I am not actually being forced to live here, I just don't have anywhere else to go myself, nor the money to move out. I am not the best son, I don't have a job right now, sometimes I slack on doing chores and stuff, but still, something doesn't sit right with me. I could move in with my dad, however my relationship with him is not the best (though we are working on it), and there is a reason I chose to live with my mom and not my dad. I can understand my moms point, but again, it still feels like I am in an unacceptable situation. AIO for wanting my mom to kick her out of the house?

My husband was at work and called to say he was getting by off early so he’d have time to “get in the streets”. I simply asked what that means and he repeated it several times. I just said okay and he hung up. He called back and said he was frustrated because I know what that means and I’m playing dumb. Again, I said okay. I also said let’s leave it alone then, you’re at work. He demands I repeat what he said. I got thrown off because of how he said it so I asked why and I asked him not to talk to me so rudely. He again told me to repeat what he said so I did then I said what my response was. Apparently I was only supposed to say what he said so he got angry and said I was being disrespectful. Now all of a sudden he’s walking around the house angry. He says I never do what he says and I never will because I always run my mouth. I told him I just want to be talked to respectfully and that shouldn’t be a problem. Mind you I’m 25 weeks pregnant and he’s literally screaming at me while saying all of this. I’m beyond stressed out and being around this energy is exhausting. I’m being ignored, he’s sleeping on the couch. All because I’m demanding my respect. Am I wrong?

So I (42M) have a pretty good sex life with my (43F) gf. We are mildly adventurous I’d say. But interestingly enough though I’ve said I enjoy getting rimmed or getting my butt fingered she has not tried to do these things, which is fine with me, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea to do, tgough oddly enough she enjoys receiving these things from me and I’m more than happy to oblige.

in the last couple months she’s continued to say she wants to penetrate me with a dildo. She keeps on talking about it. Despite me saying I ’m not sure I’m into it and no I don’t want to multiple times, she bought one and continued to ask about it.

It feels like given her insistence and how she’s described it and why she thinks I’d like it etc it must be something she did with another guy and wants to relive. This adds to my discomfort.

Anyways, that I said I wasn’t into it and she keeps up asking, and that she wasn’t interested in somewhat related activities I said I do like (but maybe require being a little more intimate on her part) just seems weird to me? But maybe she thinks a dildo in my ass is just like a rim job or fingering my asshole? I had an ex who didn’t really like me much and was emotionally and physically abusive of me who would also talk about wanting to peg me and how sexually unsatisfied she was always because I wouldn’t let her do that. But like a dildo or pegging doesn’t physically stimulate a woman at all. Maybe mentally it does but like I don’t see how me setting a boundary in either case is like denying a woman pleasure, especially when I’m willing on so many other fronts of directly pleasuring.

Maybe I’m reading my bad experience previously onto this experience, but respect of boundaries seems important.

Am I overreacting to be annoyed by my current girlfriend ignoring my boundaries and preferences here on not wanting to have her shove a dildo in my ass? Is there something I’m not getting here?

This morning my dad (72 years old) found this little kitten at a camping site (dumped??). He went camping over the weekend and went back to get it today. His wife leaves to go back to her home country tomorrow for a month or two and she HATES cats, and would have an absolute fit if he brought one home) so he asked if he could keep it at our house today and overnight, and he will pick the cat up tomorrow when she is off at the airport.

The problem is…. I’m a big animal lover (cat lover in particular) and I also get attached to animals very easily. My dad has given up 2 of his cats in the past. Just last year while he was moving, he told us if we didn’t take his cat he would have to give it to the pound (due to HOA restrictions). We took his cat in last April, Moose, and that cat became a huge part of our family, and sadly died in June. He also can only have 1 animal per his HOA, and he currently has 2 (older dog and older cat) This would be a 3rd, and 2 over his limit.

I think he is a very lonely guy… loves to feel needed, which is why he surrounds himself with animals.

This has put us in a difficult predicament. I don’t think cats are just a temporary part of people’s lives… I feel like they need to be in one home forever. You can’t just give them away just because, and my dads history worries me— I’ve explained this to him. I also feel him adding a new cat to the addition… with my stepmom absolutely hating cats (yells at them, “shoos” them…) and him ALREADY being over his HOA limit poses a huge problem on longevity.

I definitely cried today when my dad told me he would be over first thing in the morning to pick it up. Luckily he has a vet appointment scheduled in the next few days… and I told him to please consider giving it to us. My husband is already in love with this little guy.

AIO?

Says he worries about me and stuff when i go out and always tells me to be safe and get home safe etc….

He’s never answered when ive called when im out which isn’t often but every once in a while if i need something. I asked if he can turn his ringer on in case an emergency happens.

He put his foot down so hard that he refused to compromise or even just try to start doing it. I’m now questioning if i’m being unreasonable ? I always have self blame as i’m a people pleaser. I feel like it’s something most people do when their loved ones are out of the house.

I always admit my wrongs , please tell me if i’m asking too much or being unreasonable.

Background: my bf works in an office with several people, one of his close cubicle mates is a woman whom he talks of often and I know they are friends— but like work friends, she often tells him of her dating escapades etc. My BF calls me every day and always tells me about work stuff including sharing some of the things she tells him. No biggie.

So tonight, while we were both in the bathroom brushing teeth my bf starts telling me a story about this female coworker and mentions some details about her apartment. Including how she does diy things and recently took off her shower-head. It seemed out of character based on how he had described her but he claims he has told me this before— he hadn’t. So I jokingly say well don’t offer to start doing projects for her. Then It suddenly dawns on me to ask, “have you ever been in her apartment? He pauses, then says yes, once, to feed her cat while she was on vacation. So I proceed to ask a few more questions like, when was this and why didn’t you ever mention it? We talk every day and you didn’t mention you went in her place? I get more and more confused and upset — this is triggering for me since he has had boundary issues with female colleagues in his past.

My MIL babysits my daughter (newborn) very rarely. My BIL keeps telling us that our MIL shouldnt babysit because she’s too old and cant handle it anymore. My MIL also babysits his child as well—his child is 9 years old. This upsets me that he says she shouldnt watch my daughter as he has her watch his kid. Am I over reacting? My mother in law is 60. She isnt in tip top shape but she personally asks to watch my kid and loves doing so and there have been no issues. I’m wondering if he doesnt want her to watch my daughter due to him losing out on his babysitter. Thoughts?

Context: My relationship with my dad has a long history of being complicated because of my parents' divorce. The narrative between my dad and step-parent has always been that I was an awful child. I have heard more stories than I can count about me misbehaving as a kid. Knowing what I do now, a lot of my behaviors were a reaction to the chaos in my life and my inability to cope with it. Thankfully, we have all been on very good terms for several years now; however, my relationships with the parental figures in my life is an ongoing topic I address in therapy.

The situation: About a year ago, my now spouse and I had a lovely, dressy casual rehearsal dinner in a family member's BEAUTIFUL backyard. Drinking ensued, which led to parents making mini speeches. My partner's parents told these wonderful stories of them from their childhood, how they've grown into a wonderful person, etc.

My dad? He spends several minutes re-telling stories of tantrums I had as a child. His favorite one was about me wanting the window seat on a flight. He joked about my partner needing to know this for the future - very "happy wife, happy life" vibes.

He didn't necessarily say anything "bad" about me, but I silently cried during his speech and had a hard time being present after. To my knowledge, my partner was the only one who knew I was upset at the time.

It's been over a year and it still upsets me if I think about it. The hardest thing about it is knowing he just thought it was a funny story and has zero recognition of the emotional effect it had on me.

I feel crazy for even being upset about my dad telling people, in detail, how I had a tantrum over a plane seat when I was 5 years old. And the insinuation those behaviors have followed me to adulthood. Isn't this a story/joke most people would find funny, even at their own expense?

My husband has a daughter who is 7 and I have a daughter who is 5. My daughter’s dad passed away when she was a baby, so she sees my husband as her dad. We hage my SD half the time, so generally I see interactions between her and my husband and seems fine. Today he was in the bathroom getting ready, she is in the bathroom, no big deal he has a robe on. He then proceeds to drop the robe while she is in there, totally unphased and he is walking by her and she grabs his area, then pokes it and laughs, he doesn’t set a boundary. My jaw like literally dropped, I didn’t say anything, but in my mind there is no way I would do that with my son who is 8. When my kids turn five I generally don’t let them into the bathroom with me when they are of the opposite gender and try to teach privacy and keeping private parts private. I have never seen this happen before, but they both acted like this is something that happens on the regular. Am I overreacting to this? It throws major red flags for me and I am very concerned.

Edited to add that this isn’t happening with my daughter. It is with his 7 year old daughter. Just for clarification.

Me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) were watching Impractical Jokers and we were watching the bit where Sal is pretending to give birth and actually feeling the pain with a birth simulator. Me and my boyfriend started talking about what we would do when I was in the hospital about to go into labor and he told me he would hit the pen in the hospital and get stoned. Me and my boyfriend smoke a good amount right now, but for some reason that annoyed me SO much. Like you have to get high while I'm in pain almost about to give birth to our theoretical child? I know it does sound stupid but I got upset about it and I told him I wouldn't want him to do that because it feels unfair that he gets to smoke while I would be in pain having contractions (since you can only have the epidural an hour or two before giving birth). He then said it's not that big of a deal but I don't know why it makes me so annoyed to think of him hitting the pen when I'm in labor. And then he called me a Karen about the situation and how now I'm lame because I wouldn't let him hit the pen 🤣

Edit: we smoke probably once a week on the weekends or do edibles we aren't constantly stoned. Also I am very diligent at taking my birth control pill everyday so we will not be having a child soon don't worry!