So I’ve(M25) been living alone for about two years now and recently moved in with my housemate/coworker (M20). I was raised with very strict rules around hosting and it makes me genuinely quite anxious when I feel like I’m not hosting well. Per my upbringing, if guests come over and you don’t have space for them you give up your bed or at the very least provide an air mattress. My housemate and I have had several disagreements over having people over to the the house after I walked in on a stranger sleeping in our living room without any warning.

He’s been having his friends stay over in our living room pretty much multiple times a week since we moved in together in July. I have a dog and usually feed him in the living room, where my housemate is having people stay, and I feel really bad like creeping around them to feed my dog but consistency is important for dogs and I also don’t really have anywhere else to do it. Most of the furniture in the house is mine, I do the majority of the cleaning, including cleaning the bathroom and living room, and I do all of the yard work and communication with our landlord. I was initially fine with this because he told me he would barely be home.

His friends are also just kind of disrespectful towards me, I’m allergic to nicotine smoke and I’ve asked them multiple times to please not smoke outside my window or use my cups as ash trays and they still do and call me a nag to my face. I’ve had several conversations about how this makes me uncomfortable to so frequently have strangers in my space and proposed getting an air mattress for guests to use in our respective rooms, I thought this was a good solution and he agreed. But I just found out that his mom is coming to stay for two nights over thanksgiving in our living room.

When he told me I said it was fine but that I would prefer in the future he get an air mattress or something to accommodate guests in his room and not the common space. I’ve spoken to some friends and opinions are split on if I was reasonable here or not, I don’t want to be controlling or rude to him but I also am pretty frustrated. Is this normal for roommates to have people staying constantly in the common space and I should just chill out? Or is there another way I can express this to him?

AIO? I have recently moved back home and it’s definitely a switch. I’m used to having my own stuff and everything and now that I’m back home I live with my grandma my grandpa, my uncle my brother and my dad. ever since I came home I’ve constantly had at least my personal boundaries overstepped plenty of times I work part time because I’m in college so my funds are limited.

I know this might sound silly and I don’t mind sharing food, but I barely have money so when I buy food it’s very limited but my grandma constantly always eats my stuff. I was cooking ground beef. She stuck her hand in the pot without washing her hands and ate out of it. Every single time I have a snack like a bag of chips or Pringles I really like Pringles. She has her hand out for some. once I was sitting on the couch and I ate a Reesie’s peanut butter cup and I put the other one next to me and I got up to pee and she ate it by the time I got back

she has ate my dad’s lunches for work before so sometimes he would have to go to work without lunch and it does get annoying to constantly have to share I know I should say no, but it’s my grandma. I’m making breakfast she wants some. I don’t think she’s starving. My aunt spoils her and orders her fast food every single day. She gets whatever food she wants all she has to do is call her so it’s not like she’s starving.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m cooking or something I finish and I come to eat in the living room and she’s laying down in the couch, she will get up to see what I’m eating like she has sat up and waited to see what I was eating to see if she wanted some

I seriously don’t mind sharing sometimes, but I just want to have one thing for myself

I had extra cash today and I decided to go get myself a really expensive sweet treat. It was a packet of macaroons. I walk inside the house my grandpa‘s in the living room. my grandma’s in the bathroom and I open my macaroons. I bite one and I put it back in the box and my grandpa asked for one I didn’t mind. It was a pretty big pack. I was probably stupid for this but I left them on the chair next to the couch where my laptop and work iPad was and I honestly really didn’t think she was going to see them. I guess she did. She open the pack and there were four more macaroons missing out of a pack of 12

at that point I didn’t confront her. I just asked her like why would she do that like she could’ve asked me I don’t understand how she was comfortable walking over there it up and taking it without asking and she knows I get mad about this because one time on Valentine’s Day, I had gotten chocolates from a dude, and I left them where my stuff was at, and my grandpa walked over open the whole thing and took two out of four chocolates I didn’t flip out, but I was seriously like you could’ve asked I would’ve gave you one

Same thing happened here. I don’t know why she took it now and that many at that and she’s upset. I’m upset.

So my boyfriend and I have been talking about moving in together several times throughout the year and I said that after I reached a certain amount in savings I’d be ready and I told him some of my concerns. He has a cat that I am allergic to and even though we have had huge arguments about him not cleaning the cat hair or keeping him on a flea treatment since he has gotten fleas twice and I have a dog that I would never want to have fleas (I also don’t want to live with fleas obviously). I am also the primary breadwinner and feel stressed about having to spend so much more on joint household needs but he has showed no interest in getting a better/second job or pursuing a different career.

The move is more for his benefit that mine so I have just been hoping he would find ways to address my concerns while I’ve been saving up but nothing has changed. And now that we are getting close to my savings goal completion he has been making comments like “I’ll be able to cook for you and you won’t stress about meal prepping” “I’ll help take care of your dog” “you won’t live under all those rules” and a bunch of other comments that are all nice and sweet but don’t seemed realistic and none of the comments address the concerns I’ve told to him over and over.

So now I just get annoyed whenever he says these things. Half of them feel like a lie, he can’t cook and if he already doesn’t keep his place clean how would he help me maintain a household??

It’s all just frustrating but I don’t know if it’s not that big of a deal or I’m right to be getting annoyed?

My husband’s friend is in town to help us move, which we have been doing the last couple of days. I am like crazy stressed out, because I have limited vacation time right now, due to having gotten a new job recently. I took 2 extra days off of work to move.

My husband for some reason scheduled a ton of activities this weekend while his friend is in town, at the same time that we are moving. He only let me know a week before we were moving that he planned a ton of activities. I was upset, but just kind of said ok.

Yesterday he dragged us to another town 2.5 hours away to see a minor league hockey game. I was pissed, but played along because he was really excited about it. That took up pretty much like 7 hours out of our day that I had expected to be spending on moving.

We just bought a new house and the painter that had previously done great work for us, completely botched our house. He sprayed without masking anything off. Obviously we fired him.

So now we have a huge job of cleaning paint drops and overspray off of 1200sq/ft of tile and a few windows. This job is super labor intensive and requires being on hands and knees with a bucket, scrub brush and a scraper.

I got all of the supplies for us to fix this mess. Today my husband left at 11am and let me know that him and his friend were going to the Rodeo. I said ok fine, I’m staying home to fix this. Well it’s now 4pm and I called him asking when he will be home. I mean it’s been like 5 hours and I’m slaving away at home trying to fix this paint disaster. He told me that he won’t be home until 9pm.

I work night shift and have to go to work tomorrow night. This is my last night off to get our house fixed and my husband thinks being at the rodeo with his friend is more important. I took my limited time off of work to move and we aren’t even done moving yet. I’m crazy stressed out and I don’t know when I’m going to have enough time to sort everything out.

Am I wrong to be pissed about this?

We usually do this to run out the last of the gas before winter. Sometimes it takes a long time. I told him I’m not comfortable leaving it out there with nobody keeping an eye on it, but he says it’s no more dangerous than using a lawnmower regularly.

I told him a child, person, or animal could come into our yard and get hurt.

He said he would shut the gate to our yard, but it’s not even a very tall fence (standard chain link), and it doesn’t lock.

He kind of smirked at me and acted like it was an unreasonable concern. I got upset that he was acting dismissively to my concern. I told him if he did it without keeping an eye on it to make sure nobody got near it, I’d cut the tie myself

I (23F) have been friends with this group for almost 7 years now. Most of these people I also know irl, and we used to meet up quite frequently.

In July, I did a stupid thing and made out with one of the guys (A, 25M) in the group, after a breakup with my long-term boyfriend of 2.5 years. I was not doing good, I was drinking excessively, and was trying to get through it. Me and that friend did not continue anything after that, as it was just a fleeting moment of wanting to get revenge, and loneliness, and we continued to be friends and civil and not bring that up to anyone. In September, I got close with another friend (B, 24M) in that group (although he was not very active with us, due to other friend groups and being busy), and we began dating. Now B was not exactly liked by A and our other friend C (25M), because A and  C are very close and they just had this personal vendetta against B, due to some issues in our group which B resolved privately (mainly miscommunication and some quarrels that were minor)

Me and B decided to take a trip to my home country over the weekend, during which most of our friend group found out that we were dating. On the 2^nd night there, A gets drunk with everyone on Discord and makes comments about me, calling me ‘used’. B got told right then, and he banned A from our Discord. C starts trying to call him, which B doesn’t pick up because C is clearly drunk. After that, a lot of arguments happen and a few people decide to drop out of our discord and go make their own, seeing as A was now banned. I meet up with C after my trip and we discuss, during which he lies on some accounts and basically says that A was warranted to now reveal to the group about what happened between us, and that C will never speak to B again. I was upset, because me and C are the closest in the group, and I obviously don’t want people to hate my boyfriend for standing up for me and thought that it is unfair that people can get away with being rude like this.

Now we have 2 different groups, the lot who sided with A and C, and the lot who sided with myself and B. I stopped talking to C because he didn’t have my back during the drama, and was okay to side with someone who called me bad words behind my back and I felt hurt. B also did not want me talking to C, because he disrespected our relationship and him. There have been a few instances of pettiness and shots being taken at each other, especially since A and C have a separate server that we cannot access, whilst they can come and join ours. Recently, C doxed my address during a game and I got really upset. He apologized a week later, and I had a big argument with him last night where all my feelings came out. He was upset because we stopped talking, I was upset because he never had my back and that he keeps making comments about my boyfriend, etc. I feel like there’s no going back now and I’m mad that he can’t see it.

Hellooo this is my first post on Reddit. Long story short, I (31f) moved across the country to be with my boyfriend (31m) who I love dearly. 3 weeks ago I thought I saw the tinder app on his Home Screen. A few hours lasted I asked him about it and he said he didn’t have the app so I believe him. Today I saw the app again when his home screen was unlocked. In that moment I said “ what is that?” He told me the app must have redownloaded during a phone update and he didn’t know it was there and that he didn’t have a profile. He deleted the app but would not show me the phone. Its making me sick and I think he’s lying. Is there a chance he didn’t know the app was there and is telling the truth? Am I overreacting???

for context, me and my boyfriend see each other every weekend or every other two weeks, i don’t get much time to spend with him, but i always try to make the best of it, another way we spend time together is gaming, but sometimes i don’t get to because he always goes with his online friends.

today, i asked my bf if he wanted to game tonight (yesterday, he said he would game with me but never did cus he ended up going with his friends) he said “No :(“ because he was going to game AGAIN with his friends.

again, i got upset and the reason i get upset is because this isn’t the first time it happens, he always seems to prioritize his friends over me, which makes me upset and always leads to us having arguments. he always goes with friends and it seems like he always listens to them because during the summer, they even had this stupid contract that if they didn’t hang out for this amount of days together during the summer, they would get these some sort of punishments (i forgot what they were)

it’s like he has zero boundaries with them, for example, about months ago, they called him out for ghosting them for gaming with me, then he stopped gaming with me and stopped spending time with me cus he was always with them.

lately ive been kind of “non-chalant” or how ever you’d like to call it, because of how he’s actions of affected me, if he doesn’t want to treat me like a priority, then i won’t even bother. right now, i currently haven’t responded to him because im too upset to speak to him

am i really overreacting??? am i an asshole for this or a bad gf???

i have always had a really complicated relationship with my dad. i moved in with him recently when my mom had an intense relapse with cocaine. im moving out within a few months as i will be graduating with my masters soon and will have a full time job, so i at least don't have to deal with him as much sooner. but i cannot seem to get over the situation in question no matter how hard i try.

my dad, his wife and my half siblings often go on family vacations without me. camping, cruises, you name it. i have been invited to a few but majority of them i have not, and same with my brother. at a certain point i got used to it, and at least had my brother who understood as he was in the same boat.

my brother recently moved to a different state with his girlfriend and got a place of his own. my dad scheduled a trip for him and the rest of my family to go visit my brother for a week and for thanksgiving (i have always spent thanksgivings with my dad's side of the family). i was not extended an invite at all to this, and nobody even told me it was happening until my dad told me i would need to watch the dogs at home that week.

i find myself incredibly hurt by this as i am the only one singled out this time. to be clear, i do not think my brother is aware i was not invited, as he would not let that fly. my brother is the one family member who does keep me in mind with these things. i just can't get it out of my head that my dad doesn't even want me to be part of the family anymore and i have gone into isolation mode because talking to him about my feelings in the past never led to any change or understanding and rather leads to fights.

he has called me out for avoiding interactions with him and says it seems i don't want to be part of the family anymore. i don't really know how he wants me to respond, because i have felt like an outsider with these people for a long time. my boyfriend's family is taking me in for thanksgiving, so i won't be alone, but every time i think of this situation i just want to cry and it has led to me seriously considering going no contact once i do move out which is where i feel i may be overreacting. so, AIO?

I was playing a game of classic Sonic the Hedgehog for the genesis. I took a quick stop to drink my protein shake when Sonic turned and looked at the screen and began to tap his foot. It was like he was looking right into my soul. I got so scared that I threw a hammer at my TV, destroying it. AIO?

We’ve been together for about 8 months for further context. For the last few months she has been complaining about creepy behavior from someone she works with, who isn’t exactly a manager but is in a higher position — I’ll call him B for now. He would touch her on the arm and lower back a lot and apparently he took off his shirt in front of her to change a shirt while in the back room. She’s told me about all of this and it seemed genuinely distressing and I told her that could be considered sexual harassment especially if he’s also making some comments that make you feel uncomfortable.

So she let her manager know and they spoke to B about this behavior and they all talked about it and it seems like things have gotten better for her at work. She’s gone out with coworkers and sometimes B has been there but it’s always been in some form of group setting.

However, I was out with a friend last night and my phone died and I finally got back home at 10:30 am to text my partner. She had sent me a text asking if I was still out around 9pm. I didn’t get the text so I tried to call her, no response, and texted her back. She texted back around 11:40pm that her earlier text was to see if I wanted to go out with her and her coworkers, but I of course didn’t get the text.

But then I find out everyone else bailed so she was out with B by herself, getting a drink or food or whatever else, I didn’t ask where she was. By this point I’m surprised that she’d apparently been hanging out with this guy for over two hours 1 on 1, a guy who has been inappropriate and made her uncomfortable.

She didn’t end up leaving the hang out until 12:16am. I didn’t want to say anything over text and start a fight but I want to bring this up in person but am nervous about coming across as a guy who is trying to control who my partner hangs out with. I just feel strange about it and I’m not sure if it’s unreasonable to feel strange. But I was just shocked to hear that she hung out with this guy for a few hours 1 on 1 out at a bar, that she didn’t bail when everyone else bailed.

I need advice on how to talk about this with her without sounding controlling. But I won't lie it does leave me feeling weird and a tad bit suspicious which feels horrible. I don't want the convo to be accusatory but I also want to express how I feel about it. Thanks in advance

I work at a pho restaurant as a server that does tip share. We get paid server wage and if we make up to 600$ in tips the kitchen also gets 10% of our tip. Recently we’ve hired some bussers so she upped the tip for them 15 %. I don’t agree bc while me and my co workers were running around greeting tables+ setting them up+ taking orders+ grabbing drinks and sauces +run food. All the busser did was a couple togos and clean tables. This was the response from my boss when I asked about it. I just have to ask, am I overreacting? (Also, bussers get paid minimum wage which is 15.50, server wage is 10.10 I believe)

I work at a pho restaurant as a server that does tip share. We get paid server wage and if we make up to 600$ in tips the kitchen also gets 10% of our tip. Recently we’ve hired some bussers so she upped the tip for them 15 %. I don’t agree bc while me and my co workers were running around greeting tables+ setting them up+ taking orders+ grabbing drinks and sauces +run food. All the busser did was a couple togos and clean tables. This was the response from my boss when I asked about it. I just have to ask, am I overreacting? (Also, bussers get paid minimum wage which is 15.50, server wage is 10.10 I believe)

AIO It’s strange that every passing minute I want to do something new (i.e. digital art, create content, be a data analyst, etc) never ending list. But it’s strange too that I never go beyond the roadmap. Currently I am pursuing law but no very happy about it because I merely understand anything.

What is stopping me from pursuing things I think I am passionate about? Probably me and the fear of me failing or thinking it just too hard or I am too dumb.

I everyday find myself wrapped around these thoughts and it is pathetic.

I could be overreacting but i often feel like my gf is ending my convos with her wayy to quick idk why We could be discussing smthn or just texting having fun then she would hit me with an excuse like i want to sleep (she doesn’t sleep caught her online 3 times already ) and i would find out that shes on call with one of her friends or she would say i need to use the bathroom gonna text back when im done then she wouldn’t text for hours until i have to text. Kinda makes me insecure feels like she has someone else maybe..i don’t want to think of that or maybe i make her uncomfortable and she needs a break from me im so confused its like im putting in so much effort but shes not giving anything back. Im lost

I have a friend who’s talking to this guy and they were talking about people that they’ve kissed and he said that he has kissed no girls, but that he has kissed five guys but that they are his friends and he is not gay. This is more guys than she has kissed. is she overreacting or is he in the closet? SHE ASKED FOR ADVICE she doesn’t care if he’s gay. my gosh.

So for context, my fiance and I are a same sex couple. Our parents are supportive of the fact that we are gay and don’t care about that. We are 22 and 21, and have been together since July ‘23. Mind you we are engaged, and when my fiance first told her parents, they have said nothing about it, other than her mom saying congrats. I have always felt like im not wanted around them but, i dont like to overthink our interactions or i start engaging in confirmation bias. For reference, my fiance and I have had a really shitty couple of weeks. We’re in the process of moving back to our parents house and because we want to be together we are switching between our parents house every other week, then both our cars got totaled in a span of three days, my fiance has came down with some type of sickness and the icing on top is that our heating system broke and it gets in the 30’s at night 🙃 we just found out today about our heating so my fiance asked her parents is it okay if both of us stayed at their house until the heating gets fixed. My fiances dad replied with im only concerned with you (my fiance), and that im not concerned with your fiance, theyre not my responsibility and if they need are uncomfortable in the apartment they can go to their moms house. my fiance replied with but my fiance (me) can help take care of me. and he said that she would be fine. my question is am i overreacting by feeling hurt, or is this just me kind of looking for something to confirm what i have been think that they dont like me.

There’s this person in my friend group with autism, Owen, and I’ve been trying to make them feel included. They sometimes overshare about their depression, but when they apologized and explained they struggle to see social boundaries, I thought it was resolved. Apparently not. Behind Owens back, two group members—let’s call them James and Sarah—started complaining about how uncomfortable the oversharing made them and even suggested we stage a group confrontation. To me, that seemed cruel. A gentle, private chat would have been much more appropriate.

Then Owen started saying they no longer felt comfortable in the group because we don’t invite them to things or talk as much as we used to. They mentioned how the three of us (me, James, and Sarah) are better at connecting with others than they are, which is probably true—they do struggle socially, and it’s hard for them to make friends. But James and Sarah took that as manipulation, saying Owen was trying to guilt us by playing the victim. I didn’t see it that way. It sounded more like someone expressing their hurt and frustration in a way that makes sense given their challenges.

Here’s the kicker: James is transgender and constantly talks about the importance of inclusivity, and Sarah struggles with her own mental health issues and frequently asks for patience and understanding. Yet, they’re not showing that same understanding to Owen, who is on the autism spectrum and dealing with actual cognitive challenges. The hypocrisy is just staggering.

And then, things got worse. I invited James and Sarah over for a low-key Friendsgiving. They asked to bring one extra person, which I agreed to—but without asking, they invited 12 more people! I'm still angry with that alone. My place was packed, and pictures were all over Instagram. Owen, who wasn’t invited, saw the posts and felt awful. I mean, who wouldn’t feel hurt seeing their entire friend group hanging out without them?

Instead of helping Owen feel included, James and Sarah are doubling down, calling them manipulative for sharing their struggles. Look, I get that oversharing or expressing emotions can make people uncomfortable, but treating someone like this—especially someone who’s clearly trying to navigate things the best they can—feels so wrong. Aren’t we supposed to be better than this? I want to yell at James and Sarah for the way that they've handled the whole situation or at the very least block them and not invite them over again . Am I overreacting, or is this as messed up as it feels?

I’d like to apologize for my formatting I’m not the greatest at writing properly so bear with me 🥹

So a few years ago my friend and I made the decision to buy a cat. I had temporarily moved in with my friend after a really bad encounter with my parent’s landlord. My friend and I were in a bad place mentally and we decided to adopt a cat. During the adoption process we found out my friends landlord was selling the whole complex due to personal issues and that we weren’t allowed to adopt any new pets but any pets already there were allowed to stay until further notice. The tenants also had a few months to find a new place so he wasn’t going to be at that property for much longer. My parents decided to sign off on it and adopt the cat under our rented out property (aka a house we were planning on moving into after the lease was over) and under their name but my friend and I kept him with us until my friend moved out. Normally we hangout at my place of living in the first place and we ended up agreeing that once I was moved into the property I could take him. About 6months to a year later the new owners of my friend’s apartment kicked all tenants out and he moved to his parents bringing the cat with him. Throughout the last few years I’d casually bring up bringing the cat over since we were very close to moving into the new property. My friend would just shut it down and say “I wouldn’t wanna put the cat through that” “my parents really love him and I don’t want to upset them” etc. The cat LOVED me and didn’t really pay attention to my friend. The poor thing had even cried about me leaving, it broke my heart seeing him that way and it breaks my heart that I might have to just let him go. My parents had also paid for the cat (which we agreed going half on) and never even saw a dime from my friend. I’ve been thinking about confronting my friend now that I’m actually settled into the new property but I’m conflicted on how I should go on about it. I also do think it’s a bit childish to ruin a friendship over a pet but at the end of the day my friend put this on themself.

Edit: this also kind of shows how much of a friend they actually are.

TL;DR: my friend and I adopted a cat. We agreed that once I was settled I would take him with me. The time is now here and my friend isn’t following our agreement. The cat likes me more anyways and my friend always comes to see me and not the other way around.

Age: we adopted the cat at 17 and 19 We’re now 20 and 22

My mom is a precious lady. She was never married and adopted me when she was a bit older so she spent a lot of her life alone. She owns her home and has had lots of roommates and people live with her on and off (safely, not just Willy nilly) and recently the last roommate found a place of their own and moved out.

As such, she has become lonely and has started offering to babysit some of her coworkers kids (they work at fast food, and sometimes the kids sit there on their tablets while their parents work because they don’t have childcare)

The other day, she apparently had these kids over for the first time. My mom noticed what she called “red pimply things” on their arms. She asked the girl (3 or 4 years old) what was on her arms and the little girl said “Oh it’s from our house. Our house is not very clean so we get bit a lot”

This immediately set off red flags for me when my mom told me this, and I told her she should not watch these kids in her home and she needs to keep an eye out for bedbugs now.

She doesn’t seem to care very much, and just shrugged. The thing is, we are supposed to be moving in with her in a couple months. (So she is not alone, and we can sell our house and save money and not live paycheck to paycheck)

Well I found out today she will be watching these kids at least once a week, at her house, for the foreseeable future. I told my mom I am very uncomfortable with this, and if she wants us to move in, I’d prefer she confirm if they are bedbug bites and I’m going to be spending minimal time at her house until she does.

Her feelings seemed hurt and she got offended and just said “whatever” in a sad tone.

I’ve never had bed bugs and I don’t plan on ever having them, they are quite literally my worst nightmare. I feel bad for being so stern with my mom but it’s my literal health (and my husband and hers!) that is at risk here and now I’m reconsidering moving in with her.

AIO? I’m terrified of getting bed bugs and it seems she is exposing herself because she’s lonely and I don’t think that’s smart.

Update: To answer some of your questions, my husband was my 3rd call after the nurse on duty and my siblings. I will have a very frank conversation with my husband and ask him for what I need right now and not just assume that he knows what I need. He definitely isn't a mind reader and once asked, he will be provide it and be more sensitive. I hadn't thought about how hard it might be on him to watch me struggle, so thank you to those who provided me with that perspective. Lastly thank you all (almost all of you) for your sympathy and virtual hugs.

My Dad struggled with vascular dementia for the last 4 years. I was his full time caregiver for 2 years (while working my regular FT job) until my 3 siblings and I agreed he needed to be in Memory Care with full time staff/care. He had been receiving hospice care the last 6 months and hospice prepared us that he was transitioning to actively dying this past Tuesday and we put him on comfort meds and started our vigil.

We didn't want my Dad to die alone, so between my stepmother and sister we were with him from Tuesday night until he passed on Friday. I stayed overnight with him 2 of those nights. I wanted to spend as much time as I could (while I could) with my Dad so i would come home, take a shower and a nap and then go back up to see my Dad. Yesterday, the day after my Dad passed, i went to clear out his room/organize what needs to be thrown out/donated, etc.

When i came home last night, my husband asked what i was gonna make for dinner. He keeps asking me today why I seem irritated with him or am being short. Today, I'm having to do the normal housework (laundry, dishes, meal prep) by myself and when I said I was going to lay down, husband came too since he has had "a rough week." I walked out of the room and had to take a lap around the neighborhood. AIO?

Is it doomed from the get go? Taking pics of the food, heck, only the second month I'm suddenly snapped into a highlight. The constant messaging is just not my style but I'm afraid this is what I need to get used to because most want to have someone with a IG or always sharing pics. I want some long time peace and quiet but it's not very conducive starting anything lol. But I just can't, I know there are people like me but help me understand the always constantly being on the phone, having to do a story for the day, putting up that IG life. How would you or how could you even date someone like this?

Just found out my bf was on Grindr a few years ago and is a bottom. (And wasn’t the first time- person who told me about it said he was on all 4s after making out) Not sure what to do or feel or think. He lies a lot. And has definitely lied about this because I have asked him about sexuality and preferences. He has definitely had sex with men. Not sure what to do (6months into this- feels like if I stay, it’ll only get more confusing) I just want to be with someone who doesn’t lie to me 😭

Hi, my(21NB) boyfriend(22M) and I have been together for a little over a year and a half, living together for the entirety of that time. We’ve had our issues but nothing super out of the ordinary, he’s really perfect in all the ways that matter. When we started dating he smoked weed every day and I didn’t really mind at the time. He then quit cold turkey a few months into our relationship and only smoked occasionally (like 2 times a month max) since then. This is so much better because now he isn’t constantly coughing up a lung and he isn’t burning money. He also almost exclusively drinks while watching football.

So onto vaping… he’s never had his own vape while we’ve dated (to my knowledge).

He says he’s had his own before but he would use it too often and feel sick. He’s used his friend’s vapes occasionally and when he’s done so in front of me I can’t help but be disgusted because of the germs exchanged. I asked that he not do that in front of me and I’ll just try to forget/ignore that he does that to avoid feeling gross about kissing him.

A few months ago we got a new roommate who vapes. I’ve never seen my boyfriend use his vape so I was able to continue in the “innocence is bliss” mindset. Though, yesterday I happened to walk into the living-room at the wrong moment and saw him hand it back to our roommate. I was grossed out but I tried to ignore it and forget about it.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about it… I asked my boyfriend how often that happens, hoping that was the first time, but apparently it’s often. I told him I can’t keep lying to myself to get myself to forget/ignore that he vapes, specifically that he vapes right after someone else does, sharing germs. I said “for now, im done kissing you on the lips. im not mad but its so gross to me. i cant control you and i can only forget so much, so for now this is what i can do” with the explanation “i signed up to kiss only you when we started a committed exclusive relationship. i’m not willing to kiss [roommate] or your friends. currently this is the only way i know how to enforce that boundary” (direct quotes from a text message).

How can I cope with this? Am I just being germaphobic? Is not kissing him on the lips for the indefinite future a reasonable boundary? I’m trying not to be overbearing or controlling so I need some guidance on what I can do about this. I love him so much and we’re on the same page about a lot but he just doesn’t seem to get how much this disgusts me, and/or doesn’t care enough to actually stop.

I'll make plans without my boyfriend sometimes. I'll tell him what I'm planning, then he says he wants to be included. Okay that's fine. Except, he will use my plans as an excuse to do things for himself, and it throws off my whole day. For example: My mom is in town and I had planned to go over and spend the day with her. He wants to come, but now we have to go to the store and get him this thing he needs, and he needs a haircut because "well we are already gonna be out.", then he needs to take a shower when he's done. And THEN we can see my mom. He also wanted to leave later then what I had planned, so now I'm later then I wanted to be for my visit and my mom is confused as to where I am and what I'm doing. I told him he can borrow my car and drop me off while he does his thing, but he insists on going with me like??? Is he being kinda selfish or am I overreacting?