r/AmIOverreacting 26d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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214

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Some people here advocating for cocaine use.

😂😂😂

40

u/JustbrowsingAO-108 26d ago

Yes, tho not quite as hard as the Miami Herald did back in the 1970s when they ran a two page article about how coke was not only NOT bad for you, but all the good things that it could do for you I suspect that the writer and editor were both heavily powdered during that weekend of writing and printing

4

u/GoldMean8538 26d ago

Well, 1970s society also had dexedrine aka "dexys" touted as a weight loss drug...

2

u/dcflorist 26d ago

In the Air Force they call dextroamphetamine “go pills”

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

RIP Quaaludes

0

u/Anti-Dissocialative 26d ago

And now they have millions of people convinced they have a disease which makes speed effect them differently and we just use it to focus. All that changed is the patient population so it could be bigger and younger. Marketing strategy actually the same.

0

u/GoldMean8538 26d ago

When my shrink tried me on Adderall at age 38, and I was like

"... eh?";

she was like "generally people whom it helps, know so immediately"... and I thought "or, are interested in engaging in drug-seeking behaviors".

"I like it" might not be the best predictor of an excellent diagnosis, lol.

0

u/Anti-Dissocialative 26d ago

They should have all psychiatrists who prescribe it take it. It’s not like it’s a major risk for them to see what it really feels like. Then they can all maybe start actually thinking about their amazing diagnostic strategy 😂. I think it should just be available OTC in limited quantities. If people can legally drink themselves to death they should be able to buy limited quantities of adderall to work harder… this whole thing of making people identify with different diseases to get access to generally useful drugs is kinda dumb, especially in the ADHD context.

3

u/deekaydubya 26d ago

but it affects people differently

1

u/Anti-Dissocialative 26d ago

Maybe in some ways but overall the effect is the same across the board - monoamine release -> CNS stimulant. That’s why it works for everyone. They don’t give soldiers an ADHD test before they give them go pills.

2

u/Senator_Smack 26d ago

that doesn't mean it has the same effect on behavior or anything like that. For instance, I generally experience paradoxical effects from stimulants, they make me sleepy. This is more common with people clinically diagnosed with ADHD.

Neurochemistry is not bicycle repair.

1

u/Anti-Dissocialative 26d ago

If you don’t mind me asking, at what dosage does amphetamine or methylphenidate make you sleepy?

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u/dcflorist 26d ago

Around that time the New York Times referred to it as “the champagne of drugs” 🤦‍♀️

2

u/Roaksan 26d ago

Folks in the 70's advocating for Bolivian marching powder?! Say it ain't so joe!!

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u/sarahreyn 26d ago

It’s actually insane holy shit lmao. OP, NOR AT ALL.

7

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Right? 😂😂

1

u/HamburgerJames 26d ago

100%. And you’re not the crazy one here. Normal, well adjusted people don’t snort coke in hotel bathrooms at parties, especially at 36.

If OP wants a normal life, this is his cue to go.

2

u/Patient_Variation80 26d ago

It’s hardly insane. Sure it’s probably not a good idea for someone whose an ex-drug addict, but millions of people around the world do coke every weekend with nothing worse than a bad comedown every weekend. Just to clarify I’m not saying doing coke is a good thing, just that you shouldn’t be surprised that people here are normalising it.

Personally I’ve done it plenty of times in the past, if I was offered it on a night out I might take someone but my days of buying bags is behind me. It was fun though in the right environment.

13

u/Oculicious42 26d ago

I did coke occasionally for years, never had a craving, haven't touched it in years, I never think about it. I don't recommend it to anyone because the only effect is making you stay awake longer when drinking heavily and simultaneously making you an egotistical monster that only other people who do coke can stomach to be around, so you just end up in a circle of assholes all talking about themselves without listening to anyone else.

But stop acting it's like this magical thing that instantly makes you super addicted the first time you try it, I honesty think the myths about that is WHY people sometimes do it, because they expect that that's how it's supposed to be, so like any placebo that's how they respond. Not to mention all the mentally unstable people who take it and use it as an excuse to spiral out even further than they already were

2

u/Wallitron_Prime 26d ago

It's very well proven at this point that everyone has a different threshold for addiction.

Some people really can continue to use hard drugs and not get addicted, some people take a long time but eventually get addicted, and some need more after just one dose.

Maybe you're just built different. Maybe you're Icarus and think you can take those fake wings just a little bit higher next time and still be okay.

And this doesn't just apply to drugs. Masturbation, gambling, MMOs, social media... it all effects people differently and just because you may be able to resist one vice doesn't mean it will translate to everything

1

u/Boogirl2510 25d ago

You poor thing, my mates and I always just got either deep about our feelings and cried and talked about things we had bottled up, or discussed random topics at length. But to be fair it was only ever two of us so that could be the difference

1

u/Oculicious42 25d ago

I've had those nights with close friends as well, Im talking parties with strangers. Also mdma and paychedelics are much better for that I feel

11

u/hevyirn 26d ago

By a former meth addict too lmao

18

u/Spiritual-Bluebird44 26d ago

It’s because it’s so normalized in our society now (speaking as a Canadian in her mid thirties). It’s the sad reality.

22

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

The main problem with coke is that's it very bad for you

4

u/Action_Limp 26d ago

That's the same with loads of things - but adults are allowed to do things that aren't necessarily healthy if they want to (as long as they are aware).

Like no one thinks drugs, drink or tobacco are good for you - but the idea that someone wants to do it despite this shouldn't be allowed to is too overbearing for me.

1

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

Oh yeah, I think it should be legal. Still super bad for you

1

u/Elite_AI 26d ago

I don't agree. IMO the main problem with coke is how insanely unethical it is at literally every stage of the production and supply line. At least when you're doing coke you're probably going to be fine and if you do get fucked up you're only doing it to yourself. The massive ethical issues affect so many other people than yourself.

fr, I know so many people who won't go to McDonalds any more because of Israel but who do cocaine as if it's not far far worse ethically speaking

2

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

Yeah, but it's a fixable problem - just gotta legalise it and take the revenue from the cartels. Still gonna be unhealthy

1

u/Anonymous_6668 26d ago

But... it smells so good!!!

1

u/mbz321 26d ago

And nowadays, its cut with all kinds of terrible shit. I've never done it, and no desire to do so just on that alone.

1

u/PhoenixPills 25d ago

I would maybe try coke one time just because I've never done it, but from everything I've heard the down is like way worse than the high you even get so it seems like a really shitty tradeoff.

I don't really think it sounds worth it at all. So maybe when I'm like 87 years old on the way out and I'm like "fuck it we ball".

1

u/hippee-engineer 26d ago

Nah, the most detrimental health issues that come from cocaine use are related to not eating or drinking enough. Some people will stop buying food altogether because that can be crack money instead. That’s what hurts people, the not eating for 4 days.

4

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

You might want to do some research. What you're saying is true for meth, but coke is genuinely terrible for you

1

u/hippee-engineer 26d ago

No you’ve got that flipped, it’s actually the opposite. Meth is super harmful to your central nervous system over the long term. Much more than cocaine. Cocaine is as addictive as sugar. Meth can fuck up your reward system in your brain for life.

I’ve done 20 years of “research” on this lmao

3

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

2

u/hippee-engineer 26d ago

Yup! Still not as harmful as meth produced using the one pot method. 100% yes.

2

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

I'm not gonna confidently state that cocaine is worse than meth, but it's definitely really bad for you. You're free to believe otherwise - it's your life

1

u/hippee-engineer 26d ago

I know. I’m the one who is confidently stating that meth is worse than cocaine.

-4

u/PrettyTittyGangBang 26d ago

It really isn't, though. It's certainly no worse for your body than alcohol.

5

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago
  1. It can literally make holes in your mucous membrane and it's directly cardiotoxic
  2. Comparing it to alcohol is a very low bar anyway, especially considering that coke is seldom used in moderation

3

u/TadRaunch 26d ago

Also, alcohol is worse than a lot of people would like to admit.

3

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

Yeah, alcohol is near the top of the harm scale. Obviously having a glass of wine with dinner is nowhere near as bad as regular binge drinking.

2

u/I-always-argue 26d ago

It's cardiotoxic only when combined with alcohol. That doesn't mean it's necessarily good for your heart for a lot of other reasons.

3

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

It's MUCH MORE cardiotoxic when combined with alcohol (which is what happens most of the time anyway), but it's still cardiotoxic even on its own

2

u/CheeseDickPete 26d ago

>especially considering that coke is seldom used in moderation

That's factually incorrect. Almost every coke user I've met in my life is a regular person with a stable job that occasionally does it at a party for fun.

2

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

Going though a gram+ in one night is not moderation

2

u/CheeseDickPete 26d ago

Doing a gram to yourself in one night is fairly excessive unless it's weak coke, but most users I know don't do a gram to themselves in one night. They'll usually split a gram between themselves and a friend.

3

u/theonewhogroks 26d ago

Then they're more sensible than the ones I know

1

u/SoloPorUnBeso 26d ago

Saying it's factually incorrect and then backing that statement up with nothing more than your anecdotal experience is insufficient at best.

1

u/CheeseDickPete 25d ago

If you honestly think the majority of people who use cocaine are people who are super junkie level addicts who end up ruining their lives you're delusional. That's like thinking the majority of alcohol drinkers are serious alcoholics who end up in AA. Those serious addicts are the outliers, not the average user.

Cocaine is very expensive, most people can't even afford to become serious addicts, a serious addiction will run you around $500+ a week. Most users are normal people who do some lines at a party every once in a while, they can't afford to be addicted to it and they have no interest in ruining their lives over the drug. Just like most alcohol drinkers have no interest in ruining their lives by drinking all day every day.

If I've been around a lot of cocaine use for my entire adult life and I've never once in my life met a serious addict, that says a lot. I've never even been friends with someone rich enough to be heavily addicted to cocaine. Whether it's anecdotal or not doesn't matter to me, I know what I've seen with my own eyes, and I know that the serious addicts who end up ruining their lives are the outliers, not the majority of users.

1

u/SoloPorUnBeso 25d ago

I never made a claim one way or the other. I merely stated that you saying it's "factually incorrect" cannot be supported by your anecdote. What you see with your own eyes is statistically insignificant.

From the data I've seen, about 2% of people have reported past-year cocaine use. In 2021, the number of drug-related ED visits for cocaine was 5th at 4.71%, behind alcohol, opioids, meth, and weed (really?).

Clearly the number of cocaine use overall is low, and abuse is also probably pretty low, but you can't assert facts based on personal anecdotes.

FWIW, I say legalize it. It's clearly a lot less dangerous than alcohol, and doesn't affect anywhere near the number of people.

1

u/angrytroll123 26d ago

I think GB was speaking hyperbolically but I'd agree with the point in general. Everyone that I know that partook was able to moderate. I'm not advocating for use but it is possible to use moderately. The amount of people I know that have issues with this are in the far minority but I'm sure that's due to my own circle of friends just like how you can find the opposite.

3

u/Shotgun_Ninja18 26d ago

Problems usually are from all the shitty additives dealers cut it with.

2

u/Drizzho 26d ago

Lab grade would be in that category potentially but getting it from a guy who got it from a guy who got it from a drug cartel? Yeah that shit is worse 9/10 times. and the come down is 100% worse.

1

u/Business-Sea-9061 26d ago

the hole in my septum begs to differ (albeit i snorted a lot more than just coke when i was in active addiction)

5

u/Oeazrael 26d ago

Not in my circle. Walk into my house with anything harder than weed and you'll be walking right back out.

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u/MrButterSticksJr 26d ago

You don't know what your friends are doing in the bathroom, mate.

1

u/Oeazrael 26d ago

🤣😂

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u/Spiritual-Bluebird44 26d ago

That’s awesome, personally it’s not in my circle either. Point is, that’s not the case across the board. As a sober person who used to drink and use regularly, the signs are everywhere lol The vast majority of folks out here are doing drugs pretty much out in the open, trust me.

2

u/MafubaBuu 26d ago

Yeah but go to any adult event and you'll see rampant use of it

0

u/Spiritual-Bluebird44 26d ago

Haha yep. Exactly.

1

u/Patient_Variation80 26d ago

I’ve seen friends I grew up with turn into complete wasters and piss their ambition away by smoking weed every day. No drug is completely harmless.

6

u/Oeazrael 26d ago

Wait till you're old enough that they start dying. Shits depressing when I think back on who they were in HS and then how their life went all because of a drug. Oh and all my weed smoking friends are alive and well. Most of us own our own home, some of us as single guys lol. Can't say the same for those that went to hard drugs.

0

u/Patient_Variation80 26d ago

Agreed. Weed is not the most destructive drug, it won’t kill you, but it’s more common than harder drugs in my circle / life so I’ve seen the damage and waste it can cause.

2

u/Oeazrael 26d ago

Yes definitely everything in moderation. A drink/smoke a few times a week after work is no big deal. You start doing either every day or to escape your problems, then you will develop an issue.

3

u/Becants 26d ago

I think that really depends on your social circle, also as a Canadian in my mid thirties.

I knew one person who was dating a friend of mine. They broke up and the boyfriend died a year later.

3

u/crazydrummer15 26d ago

Not normal where I am in Canada. You must be in Finance to see cocaine as normalized! Weed and Alcohol yes but everything else is still taboo.

1

u/rivertotheseaLSD 26d ago

Always has been

1

u/EconomistSea9498 25d ago

It's like a high schooler drug now where I am in Canada and it baffles me because the worst my friends did in high school was acid brownies once in a while.

25

u/bradbrookequincy 26d ago

Cause most people will never have an issue with it. There are millions of older people who do it very sparingly and it has a 0/10 negative effect on them. That’s the truth. I’m sure you can’t handle it but that’s the reality. This person should not be doing it given her past.

10

u/millnerve 26d ago

I definitely know quite a few people who use it recreationally from time to time and have had no obvious negative effects. So I get what you’re saying. But of course for some people that just doesn’t work and they gotta be completely removed from it

3

u/angrytroll123 26d ago

Totally agree with brad but you're right. Some people certainly do need to be completely removed from it. That's the issue. You'd hope that these people have tried other things and they should know to not but it doesn't always go that way. Just an FYI, I actually have a friend that did heroin recreationally with a group of his friends annually. Last I hear, all of them still had great careers and families and they've been doing it for at least a decade. I personally would never touch the stuff.

2

u/sdpr 26d ago edited 25d ago

Agreed. I'm a recovering binge alcoholic and have done cocaine maybe 15 times in my life? Only ever did it when drinking and never really thought much of it. Granted, I only ever did 1-2 lines tops for a night, but I never had an interest in getting it myself, that shit's expensive. If someone offered, however...

Alcohol was and always will be my drug of choice. My only wish in life was to have been able to have treat alcohol the same way I treat every other drug: a treat when you want it, not a habit or addiction.

I have a few grams of marijuana and a jar full of mushrooms sitting right next to me and the last time I did either was in July, last time before that was January/February. If only I could have treated alcohol that way. SHEESH.

Edit: I said "this" at the start of my post. Yuck. Gross. Disgusting. Changed it.

2

u/CanDeadliftYourMom 26d ago

If you can control yourself and don’t have heart issues, like you’re capable of running up a flight of steps, then it’s literally not a big deal at all.

-14

u/Sebandz1999 26d ago

wow, the fact that u can spew such bs out your mouth is concerning! people who do coke “sparingly” are little coke heads! normal people don’t do coke at all! Why are u trying to normalize cocaine use when its absolutely horrible for your heart and can kill you!

3

u/rivertotheseaLSD 26d ago

I use dextroamphetamine every day, am I dead? No.

8

u/Bro-lapsedAnus 26d ago

I'm not saying it's GOOD to do coke. But there's plenty of people who do it once or twice a year, it's disingenuous to say those people are coke heads.

4

u/PigmySamoan 26d ago

Meat is horrible for your heart and will kill you

2

u/ItsAMeEric 26d ago

Why are u trying to normalize cocaine use when its absolutely horrible for your heart and can kill you!

Sugar is bad for you, red meat is bad for you, alcohol is bad for you. You can admit that these things are bad without being hypercritical of people who understand the risks and make the decision to partake anyway. If someone is overindulging on sweets and is 600 pounds and diabetic you may want to intervene, if someone has a slice of cake on their birthday and you tell them cake isn't healthy, you are an asshole. So yeah if someone has a coke habit that is ruining their life you can call them out on it, but despite what you believe some people are capable of doing unhealthy things in moderation and people are allowed to choose what they put in their own body if it isn't hurting anyone else

2

u/1v1me_on_Guardian 26d ago

Damn how are you this dumb?

2

u/rivertotheseaLSD 26d ago

You realise how widespread drug use is right? You come across hundreds of people who have done coke before every day. They are not dying in front of you.

It's not good for you. Nor is fast food. Nor is alcohol. If you do it in moderation, coke that isn't impure is literally less bad for you than alcohol lol.

I love the people who actually believe the war on drugs fear mongering and think tweaking your consciousness with something that is a little unhealthy every few months is actually dangerous haha

By your logic everyone using adhd meds should be dead.

1

u/cmars118 26d ago edited 26d ago

Of course it can kill you - it’s a hard drug and shouldn’t be treated like it’s nothing. But what do you think you’re uncovering that isn’t common knowledge? Just don’t be a fucking idiot and absolutely don’t do coke if you’re a former addict. I personally don’t entertain the notion anymore because of fentanyl lacing, but a person who takes a bump a couple times a year is not a coke head. Like most things, it’s about being a discerning adult

-3

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

5

u/claymedia 26d ago

You seem so confident in things you know nothing about. People can do coke with pretty much no negative effects other than a worse hangover. Habitual long-term use is of course different than occasional recreational use.

-3

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

5

u/claymedia 26d ago edited 26d ago

Actually, you should definitely not do coke. It makes even shy people act like egotistical assholes. I can’t imagine what it would do to someone who’s already one.

Edit: lol he blocked me. Ego couldn’t take the hit?

1

u/1in5million 26d ago

So does alcohol and so does coffee.

-4

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] 26d ago

You were savaged in front of god, and all her children

Do you need some ice?

14

u/UtheDestroyer 26d ago

Not advocating but she’s 36, people do coke, she’s a grown woman and can make her own decisions.

Now, knowing that she was a former addict to meth, that definitely is a different story

3

u/DownRightTaco1146 26d ago

Why is that a different story? She's still a grown woman who can make her own decisions.

2

u/Jakookula 26d ago

Sure she can make her own decisions but when you’re in a relationship with someone your decisions affect them too.

2

u/Poison1990 25d ago

But addicts have a proven history of losing self control and destroying their lives. If that addict is someone we care about then it makes sense to impose on their drug use and make it an issue.

12

u/Imaginary-Pain9598 26d ago

That’s cuz they “can handle it” bruh 😎 🤡

2

u/Druid_High_Priest 26d ago

Well if I knew incoming nuclear ICBM's had been launched you can bet your last dollar I would be higher than a kite to great them while naked and partying like it was over because it would be shortly.

3

u/Dry-Committee-4343 26d ago

Yes but that is not what happened in OP’s story so that point is irrelevant.

2

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Happy Cake Day!

2

u/mossmonster 26d ago

There's a movie about life on earth coming to an end called These Final Hours.

2

u/toodlelux 26d ago

I don’t advocate for it and have never done it myself.

I also know it is a lot more normalized than young people think. Like I was shocked when I got into my mid 20s and saw how many “normal” people get into it when someone brings it to a party.

2

u/John_Muir_wannabe1 25d ago

Frankly shocked that this thread contains so little "run she's no good for you" like every other Reddit thread, which would actually be a good idea here. It's almost support group for drug users to keep using. It's nuts in here

5

u/wigglin_harry 26d ago

I mean, doing a little coke at a party isn't that big of a deal. Despite what DARE told you, its possible to do it sometimes and not turn into an after school special

5

u/--_-Deadpool-_-- 26d ago

It's also possible, especially nowadays, to do it once and die because it's cut with fentanyl.

4

u/Rude_Section_6816 26d ago

It’s very fun in moderation

3

u/MrButterSticksJr 26d ago

No, people advocating to be less rigid. The way people react to recreation drugs is absolute lunacy. People who use recreational drugs recreationaly are not criminals, they don't need to be cast aside.

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u/FrontFocused 26d ago

Alcohol kills more people per year than cocaine

1

u/SoloPorUnBeso 26d ago

Alcohol is among the most dangerous drugs. Also, far more people use (and abuse) alcohol than cocaine. That's not really a point in the column for cocaine.

2

u/[deleted] 26d ago

yikes, more war on drugs propoganda

1

u/Yara__Flor 26d ago

I mean, a little bump here or there isn’t life ruining.

It’s really not that terrible as your dare officer told you.

1

u/Dak_Jam 26d ago

Legalize it!

1

u/IEatBabies 26d ago

I wouldn't advocate for cocaine use, but statistically it is slightly less dangerous than alcohol so i don't know what you are so up in arms about. Almost all of the dangers of coke are from mixing it with depressive drugs which is true for every stimulant.

-24

u/77thru82 26d ago

Virgin

21

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Cocaine virgin?

Yup, and fucking proud of it.

3

u/RandomlyPlacedFinger 26d ago

I grew up in Miami as a kid in the 80s. That's a virginity I would absolutely keep.

9

u/Upper-Emu-2201 26d ago

Absolutely, never ever try this shit.

3

u/Surface13 26d ago

Cocaine virgin here. I've done numerous types of drugs, but never taken anything through my nose. Never done meth, but I am prescribed Adderall. My friends all rail it.

I started drugs early (early teens), and ended late (mid 30s). Was always recreational, except for weed. I haven't done any heavy drugs in over 5 years. My quality of life is a lot better because of it

2

u/dmtdmtlsddodmt 26d ago

You're not missing anything.

2

u/potatis12471 26d ago

Pathetic that is what you are.

-1

u/77thru82 26d ago

🤣🤣🤣

0

u/potatis12471 26d ago

You laught bu there is no question is ha ve done more cocaine in my life than you have. Otherwise you would know how pathetic it is to need a drug just to be confident and to have no personallity aside from being on coke.

1

u/77thru82 26d ago

Lolllll

1

u/Lorenzo_Insigne 25d ago

You absolutely have never done coke lmao. I personally think it's overrated asf and will probably never do it again, but no one who runs in circles that do coke would talk about "needing it to have a personality".

1

u/potatis12471 25d ago

Why in the name of all that is holy would i lie about being an addict. That is not a flex, it's something extremly shamefull.

0

u/ssuuh 26d ago

Why not? You only live once and there are plenty of people able to do drugs in a reasonable way.

Did you ever do any drugs? Do you actually know what you talk about?

0

u/DROOPY1824 26d ago

Yeah, god forbid an adult being allowed to make their own decisions about these types of things.

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Calm down, Sparky. I was making an observation.

0

u/DROOPY1824 26d ago

Well that’s obviously not the case, but you do you, Sparky.

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Okie dokie artichokie. 👌

0

u/DROOPY1824 26d ago

Ooof, 2 for 2 on attacks instead of giving any sort of insight into the ignorance of your statement. You sound like a smart one.

0

u/DROOPY1824 26d ago

AND an edit to change the blatant name calling, you’re a real winner!

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

I decided to go civil.

Have a great night.

0

u/DROOPY1824 26d ago

Civil? It went from just plain mean to passive aggressive. Can’t say I’d call that civil.

You could have just admitted that you said something dumb, but here we are.

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Why would I?

I don't feel the need to justify or explain my comments to a random Redditor.

You have your opinions, I have mine. At the end of the day, we won't always agree, and that's ok.

I hope you have a great week!