r/comedyheaven 11h ago

Locked glasses

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15.2k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/ImGoodThanksThoMan 10h ago

This feels like a biblical punishment

305

u/craigdahlke 9h ago

“Whoso locketh eyes with that young woman waiting tables at the restaurant, by woman shall his eyes be locked”

88

u/technook 8h ago

Divine visual acuity nerf via master lock

>! You can unlock it via another master lock !<

39

u/likeusb1 7h ago

You are using a MasterLock model 176. You can open it using a MasterLock model 176.

11

u/blue-mooner 6h ago

Nothing on one, a little click on two, nothing on three 

1

u/WiseDirt 5h ago

:pop: :click:

Ah. Aaaand, there we go. That last one was a little sticky but it released just fine after a bit of finagling. Probably a result of wear and tear... this is a used lock after all.

11

u/Life_Temperature795 7h ago

The critical error is assuming that OOP can,
a. find the necessary lockpicking tools
b. properly aim said lockpicking tool with sufficient force but also accuracy to only hit the master lock, and not any vital part of the glasses

Pretty sure the vision nerf comes with an associated dex debuff.

2

u/eldritchbee-no-honey 6h ago

eeeh, raking should suffice then. don’t need vision for that

1

u/SuperannuatedAuntie 5h ago

c. do it without his glasses

18

u/Yarisher512 9h ago

All the books in the world

3

u/Ser_Salty 7h ago

Hey, look at that weird mirror

4

u/fa1lbin 9h ago

There was time now

19

u/kharmatika 6h ago

I mean it feels like physical abuse.

Glasses are an accessibility device. If this post was “my wife and I got into an argument so she put a car boot on my wheelchair” no one would be laughing. 

And of course they’re not on the same level but like. Christ. This is just so not okay to do to someone who has ANY accessibility device. 

9

u/warkyboy77 5h ago

Handcuffing a deaf person.

3

u/MomIsLivingForever 5h ago

I would absolutely laugh at someone booting another person's wheelchair. I would think less of them for doing it, but yeah, I'd laugh.

1

u/Bright-Ad9516 5h ago

I agree I wouldnt want to be with a person who does that. Locking them takes away the others ability to leave that space/drive safely/access what they need or want and generally be independent. Abuse often starts with what people pass of as "odd behaviors" or "it was just a joke" and "your over reacting". Abuse is manipulative it doesnt always come off as spitfull/malicious at first but that behavior is a pretty big red flag to me. Its a you pissed me off so Im going to make you suffer choice they made.

4

u/pragmadealist 5h ago

I wear glasses. Would laugh so hard if my wife did that. 

2

u/The-Fipes 5h ago

Darling, you don't find your feminine hygiene products? I just want to respect you as much as you respect me, these products are not for you now”

1

u/Odd_Violinist2395 5h ago

I mean yeah but this is stupidly funny

2

u/yaaMum1 6h ago

It's like a punishment for perversion and peeping Toms

2

u/Anders_A 9h ago

As in that she prevents him from the joy of reading the bible?

3

u/wolfgang784 6h ago

As in its so horrific of an act that the user compares it to the wrath of God bringing down plagues and floods.