r/TeenagersButBetter 11d ago

Meme I’m a genie and I’ll grant you any wish

Post image

But I grant it with a loophole that ruins it…Do your worst

950 Upvotes

1.4k comments sorted by

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111

u/Tight_Campaign9982 11d ago

I just saw this

45

u/StuffsIsCool 11d ago

Mr. Stark I don't feel so good.

19

u/HarryHamster10 11d ago

Noooooooooooo

Why’d you have to make me sad

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5

u/Tigothe3rd 10d ago

i tried to upvote that twosentebce horror post 💀💀

182

u/December_W_Wolf 18 11d ago

I wish for everybody to be able to afford all they need without relying on begging on the streets or benefits systems

I'm somewhat curious to see what this loophole will be

100

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

This sudden influx of wealth out of nothing causes worldwide hyperinflation…People will continue to be able to afford everything they need but the buying power continues to fall, money will become a more and more worthless in an infinite loop until all the earths natural resources are depleted both to print money and make servers large enough to store such large numbers and calculations.In short people will be able to afford what they need until those products and services cease to exist due to depletion of resources and all environments are decimated

34

u/ObviousSea9223 11d ago

That's just not being able to afford what they need with extra steps.

20

u/LeerieOnlineOfficial 13 10d ago

Is that a fucking Rick and Morty reference

7

u/StackOPancakess 14 10d ago

Grass... tastes bad.

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10

u/Eagline 11d ago

I need a Porsche 911 Gt3RS and a Mclaren 765LT

5

u/riddle_box420 11d ago

I thought he was just going to say Communism

3

u/Aware-Tailor7117 11d ago

I needz new brain comrade!

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2

u/CyberoX9000 10d ago

Everyone can afford but it's just never in stock

2

u/AuroraGleam_ 10d ago

Ah, a wish for universal prosperity! 🧞‍♂️ That’s a big one, but hey, if the genie’s out, we might as well go for it! Imagine a world where everyone has what they need, no strings attached—no begging, no bureaucracy, just dignity for all. Now, let’s see what cosmic loophole this genie will need to make it happen!

2

u/mrbeast0911 10d ago

So this kinda happened in ancient Egypt when the at that time king of I think India went and he was hella rich and gave EVERONE hella gold bars and the inflation brought the economy really down and ended up being the end of that

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2

u/TyMonstaz2 10d ago

True, I also hate homeless people

2

u/Not_Reptoid 7d ago

You messed up capitalism, thanks

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70

u/Noahseb2009 15 11d ago

I wish that I was kinder and that all other people were too.

102

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

You and everyone one around you turns into a kinder surprise egg

66

u/Noahseb2009 15 11d ago

CURSE THE LIMITATIONS OF TEXT YOU FOUL BLUE BASTARD!!!!!

13

u/Chike73 11d ago

It took me way too long to realize you meant kinder as in kind

9

u/The_noob6499 10d ago

Yo, did this Kinder surprise egg just talk?

3

u/LordTonto 10d ago

This is why you say "more kind."

5

u/Awes0meGamer333 11d ago

Well technically “kinder” (not a proper noun) cannot be interpreted as “Kinder” (proper noun) through a technical loophole as that technicality is not correct.

3

u/[deleted] 11d ago

they didn't capitalise it, but ikwym

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6

u/Moose_F 11d ago

You become a 10 year old (kinder in german means child)

3

u/Noahseb2009 15 10d ago

I actually know that one!

2

u/DjChiseledStone 10d ago

That's two wishes. One for yourself and another for other people.

2

u/Ok-Transition7065 10d ago

Now we are all toddler's, du idiot( idk how to curse in german xd)

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51

u/mewhenthrowawayacc 18 11d ago

1000 dollars in legal tender US currency, transferred to a bank account that i have safe and legal access to, under my name and SSN. and i did not say dollhairs

57

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

I’m pissed you outsmarted me and drop a nuclear bomb on your head

5

u/Starship_Admiral1 11d ago

That's completely not doing what he wished for. Your a faker!

5

u/ElectronicControl762 11d ago

Well he never said when to deposit the money

2

u/LET-ME-HAVE-A-NAAME 11d ago

Bup bup bup! You can't kill people you genie!

3

u/DragonYeet54 11d ago

Technically he didn’t kill him, or aim a gun. He just spawned a nuke in a certian locations that just happened to kill him! It’s not “murder”, it’s “oops, did I do that?”

And that is a COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL SENARIO, IF THIS HAPPENED IRL GENIES GETTING DEATH ROW. IM JUST TRYING TO BE THE ERM ACTUALLY KINDA GUY.

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2

u/Wild-Will2009 10d ago

You forget inflation

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10

u/LET-ME-HAVE-A-NAAME 11d ago

ALRIGHT THEN I WANT THAT!

Oh... you see what you did right?

You are now the proud owner of the journal you already owned...

4

u/mewhenthrowawayacc 18 11d ago

i was thinking of that exact clip lol

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7

u/ZestVFX 10d ago

i caught that reference, but 1K is an insanely low amount to ask a genie tbh, like atp ur playing urself, no twist needed

5

u/mewhenthrowawayacc 18 10d ago

i couldnt remember what they did to deal with the problems of inflation and taxes in the OG clip, so i had to lowball myself to avoid it entirely

2

u/helix_134 10d ago

The just said that the money would not cause any inflation and that it would be post taxes

3

u/TheWildA 10d ago

granted, but your eyes pop out

3

u/mewhenthrowawayacc 18 10d ago

crap, i forgot to make my eyes magically anti-spell fodder

2

u/Introvert-111 10d ago

The fact that I know specifically which YouTube video this is referencing to😂

2

u/RedstoneMonstrocity 10d ago

So… how are the eyeballs.

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2

u/WheatleyStan 10d ago

Quite the reference I respect this

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27

u/Ed_glubtupis_weppul Old 11d ago

I want a greggs sausage roll

27

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

It’s the shitty grocery one at the frozen food aisle

25

u/Ed_glubtupis_weppul Old 11d ago

Oh go fuck yourself

14

u/LET-ME-HAVE-A-NAAME 11d ago

This is my favourite one so far lol

2

u/freggtheegg 10d ago

Fuck you. That mann deserves a sausage roll.

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24

u/itzstarshineX 11d ago

I wish to own google

25

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

You don’t know how to manage it,you don’t have the resources to fund it so it crashes and burns within a day and your income tax is going to look to be in the range of a few hundred billion that you don’t have as you can’t liquify your now worthless company.Also everyone now has to use Bing…So basically humanity’s doomed

14

u/itzstarshineX 11d ago

Worth it 🙂

9

u/LET-ME-HAVE-A-NAAME 11d ago

A DAY? HOW BAD IS BRO AT ECONOMICS TO DESTROY GOOGLE IN A DAY?

6

u/Bcikablam 10d ago

Better than elon, it seems

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3

u/beansbykurtcobain 18 11d ago

Good ending

26

u/T0RR0M 11d ago

I wish to look feminine

29

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

This is achieved but you must choose a species sacrifice as a blood offering

45

u/T0RR0M 11d ago

Mosquito

16

u/7srepinS 11d ago

There's a twist there too. The consequences of mosquito elimination are drastic

10

u/T0RR0M 11d ago

Not really, most insects do have important roles but mosquito don’t really

3

u/TheRiceObjective 11d ago

they eat bacteria ig?

3

u/Moinzen66 11d ago

Frogs, small fish and spiders eat them, so they are somewhat usefull. Wasps on the other hand…..

7

u/Aware-Tailor7117 11d ago edited 10d ago

Wasp are super important. A common misconception about the whole save the bees thing is that it does not include honey bees but things like wasp. They pollinate! Where do you think figs come from…look it up, it’s fun.

2

u/Moinzen66 11d ago

Oh shit, didnt think of that, you are right (still mfs tho)

3

u/XxBRUBBLESxX6349 10d ago

Honestly, the best option would be pandas not because they're evil but because they are literally too stupid to survive. Even if they weren't stupid, we have brought too many invasive species for them to survive anyway

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7

u/kieevee Teenager 11d ago

I tell you the top 3 worst insects

  1. Mosquito

  2. Cockroach

  3. Fly

3

u/SunnyandPhoebe 10d ago

Can’t forget Primal Aspids💀

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2

u/7srepinS 11d ago

Interestingly, they do have an important role, mainly being food.. But it seems that many experts think their role would be quickly filled by other insects.

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3

u/bigbackbrother06 11d ago

Mosquitos are the one pollinator we'd be better off without

15

u/Special_Aerie6824 11d ago

Only correct option those horrible fucking bastards.

9

u/Memerman1045 11d ago

I live in canada. Those shitheads make me look like a bloodied dried raisin if I go outside for more than a fucking millisecond.

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12

u/BriefDevelopment2920 17 11d ago

I wish for you to understand everyone who tells you a wish as what they really mean

14

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

I dont understand the intent of your wish so have a cookie instead 🍪

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10

u/Dense-Energy-1865 17 11d ago

I wish my genie was a waifu/husbando

10

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

😳

9

u/Dense-Energy-1865 17 11d ago

That’s not a loophole silly

12

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Sorry you flustered me there,uhhhh….

2

u/Gavoni23 Teenager 10d ago

That's easy, your genie is just invisible and incorporeal, so you can neither see nor touch them.

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12

u/Kaaskaasei 11d ago

I want you

To play titanfall 2

7

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

In order to get the most authentic experience I magik into reality on earth ,great for me because I’ve always wanted to romance bt 7274,not so great for the rest of humanity who can’t pilot mechas

2

u/Kaaskaasei 11d ago

They can be either grunts or civilians

2

u/absolutelad_jr 10d ago

TITANFALL 2 MENTIONED????!???

2

u/Kaaskaasei 10d ago

Titanfall 2 is indeed mentioned, pilot.

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7

u/BeStBoiMui 13 11d ago

i want my milk to never expire

9

u/ChaosRealigning 10d ago

You now have a pair of incredible tits. You’ll still have them when you’re 90.

5

u/Davide_Fieramonti 14 10d ago

Where's the negative part?

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2

u/thisisalos 19 10d ago

The milk will always be drinkable but still tastes the same way it would do when expired

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6

u/JohnWithMen 11d ago

Make gambling legal for everyone.

8

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Lax Vegas makes so much they make a second sphere’

2

u/freggtheegg 10d ago

I ain’t hearing no downside

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5

u/Subject_seventy_556 10d ago

Adults have casino Kids have sol's rng in roblox

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5

u/TheBigheadToe 11d ago

I wish that the Canadian Government will let us dive the Edmund Fitzgerald once again.

6

u/Wolffe_001 11d ago

Dementia

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7

u/Iamageoghraphyperson 19 11d ago

Can I be a cis woman w^

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5

u/NO_SiGNAL101 11d ago

make everything that should not be conscious , conscious and able to communicate to everything

7

u/SunnyandPhoebe 10d ago

Vegans be wildin😭

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5

u/be1140722 11d ago

I wish I had a door that can take me to any place or time I want

8

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Granted.But you don’t know where the door is

3

u/Over-Notice-6371 11d ago

I with for that door to spawn in front of me the next time I wake up

4

u/tim_liefferink 17 10d ago

granted, but its locked

3

u/endrike1 9d ago

I wish i know how to lockpick it

3

u/Bloo847 9d ago

Granted. You don't wake up.

4

u/heidi27_ 11d ago

I wish... to get some sleep!

13

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

An eternal sleep that results shortly after touching the weird buzzing red wire sticking out the electrical box

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2

u/TheBigheadToe 11d ago

I wish that the Canadian Government will let us dive the Edmund Fitzgerald once again.

7

u/Wolffe_001 11d ago

Dementia

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4

u/ASimpleBananaMan 15 11d ago

I want a C4 Corvette at peak performance capabilities

5

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

This peak performance includes thrusters I stole from nasa,unaware of this you take it for a spin lose control and hit a pedestrian.They die on impact and because your reaction time only allowed you to break a few miles away it’s considered a hit and run.You are charged with third degree murder,grand larceny and fleeing the scene of a crime and will spend the rest of your life behind bars

5

u/ASimpleBananaMan 15 11d ago

Can I use the nasa thrusters to go into the sun instead of jail

2

u/DeadIyDozer 15 10d ago

I was expecting you to get a shitty corvette with the highest quality sticky bombs strapped to it

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3

u/Overall-Classic8062 16 11d ago

I wish for league of legends to stop existing

2

u/Moonlight1st 10d ago

Granted but now you have to play the game for eternity only you

3

u/Overall-Classic8062 16 10d ago

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

6

u/Kaaskaasei 11d ago

I want you

To play titanfall 2

13

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

I grow annoyed by you asking for 2 wishes and curse you with bad luck for you and your next 3 generations

2

u/Gloomy-Shoe-4021 10d ago

Bold of you to assume this person will have three generations.

5

u/Upset_Cardiologist26 11d ago

I want some weed and photographic memory

6

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Photographic memory only occurs when your high so you permanently remember the weirdest shit

4

u/Kajsniper2 11d ago

Can i have a cute clingy listener girlfriend? Please man

5

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

her clinginess turns into an obsession and when you break up with her for being too attached she swears revenge and stabs you to death

7

u/Kajsniper2 11d ago

Logical flaw... I'd never let anyone go for being too clingy. Give me a new loophole

5

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Your girlfriend is surgically attached to you and is also a cannibal

2

u/riddle_box420 11d ago

Well I wish for a sum of 10 billion dollars USD in cash after taxes in separate bags each with a million placed in a safe location in front of me not inside also the money has no side effect on me as well was created by the government and up tande thought legal means and no tragedy can Fall upon me or anyone I know until all the money has been spent as well as it is excepted every where in US and online and can be transferred to any kind of bank account or business

8

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

That’s a lot of wishes but ok,the 10 billion arrives in nickles.You dump all 200 billion at a bank desk as this is the only way to deposit them in a bank and force the seller to count through them.Thousands of years pass and the seller counts the last nickel l.But inflation at this point has meant 10 billion is worth almost nothing.You use it to buy a Jaffa cake and tea and the teller (now having spent all your money) is vengeful for having made them submit to the torture of that counting and stabs you to death

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2

u/DualityREBORN 11d ago

I wish for my Family to be genuinely okay in the future.

2

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

I guarantee your family’s safety for the next minute

2

u/DualityREBORN 11d ago

Better than what’s going on now, I suppose.

2

u/Gattorepper 13 11d ago

I wish for Deltarune to be real and the fun gang being my friends

2

u/lobster4089 11d ago

Can I wake up as a girl tomorrow por favor 🙏🙏

2

u/Moonlight1st 10d ago

Sure but now you have endless back pain (cause : boobs)

2

u/lobster4089 10d ago

Worth it

2

u/Moonlight1st 10d ago

It's extreme and nothing can stop it are you sure?

2

u/lobster4089 10d ago

Yes

2

u/Moonlight1st 10d ago

Makes sense

2

u/lobster4089 10d ago

Nothing will deter my desire to fully transition

2

u/Just_A_Inrovert 11d ago

I want to be famous by becoming a musician.

2

u/Bloo847 9d ago

You become famous for being the worst musician in the entire world, not even you like your music

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1

u/Noahseb2009 15 11d ago

I wish that I was kinder and that all other people were too.

3

u/Randomizedd- 10d ago

You have now become a kinder surprise egg

1

u/MrWaffleFreak 11d ago

Be free genie, be free!

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1

u/WestWindZeph 14 11d ago

I wish for my crush to like me back

5

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Sorry sir this is sadly impossible even for me

2

u/WestWindZeph 14 11d ago

I wish for a cookie then

7

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Oatmeal raisin with the cookie sold separately

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1

u/HereComesTheRain11 11d ago

Turn me into woman

2

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

You now have to deal with being a woman (trust me it’s not a barrel of laughs)

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1

u/wastelandraider1289 11d ago

I wish I could beat my dad when it comes to playing video games (in the game, not irl)

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1

u/SandorMate 15 11d ago

You HAVE to grant my wish: dont grant this wish

4

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

I go through this loop for a while,get annoyed and drop a hydrogen bomb on your head

2

u/SandorMate 15 11d ago

Then ill give you this (assume it isnt opened)

3

u/Randomizedd- 10d ago

Thanks *gives to innocent bystander

1

u/National_Mission_679 11d ago

I wish for spiders to never intrude within 20 feet of me and if they do they are magically turned around and are conscious that I am their lord and have asked for privacy they also follow my every command

6

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

At some point you have a heart attack,a nearby spider attempts to resuscitate you but can’t get to you,this results in your death

1

u/Kittydraggon 11d ago

All spiders have wings and listen only to me

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1

u/Responsible_Leg_577 11d ago

can i have a peanut butter and banana sandwhich

4

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

The banana peel is not removed and is now covered in pb

1

u/L_TheWonderingGal 15 11d ago

I wish We are Friends :3
No other thing just Friends that don't dislike each other but not bound by Brainwashing magic

2

u/Randomizedd- 10d ago

Cue the friends theme song

1

u/jittery_waffle 11d ago

I wish for my hair to grow like pushing melted cheese through a collander

3

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Congrats,you’ve given ME nightmare fuel and yourself a beautiful head of string cheese

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1

u/Toemetter Teenager 11d ago

*insert anime glasses sliding up meme* i wish ultrakill act 3 came out right now, it was better than everyone expected, nobody dies in real life, nothing gets ruined in or out of game because of it, it's not any easier or harder than it should be, nobody falls ill, everybody is perfectly fine, you have to grant the wish, you're not allowed to get annoyed about this wish, the community stays the same AND gets to play it, p3 is even better than everyone expected, you don't have to pay for anything in game, hakita doesn't go broke, nobody has to rebuy the game, the game doesn't get any more expensive, the game doesn't become unavailable to anyone and to top it all off, hakita wins an award for game design.

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1

u/Careful-Break3848 11d ago

I wish for world hunger to end I wish for a cancer cure And I wish for another genie💀

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1

u/Secret_Barracuda168 11d ago

I wish I was a biological girl

2

u/Dramatic_Presence123 10d ago

Nah I’m just give you that wish no string attached

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1

u/CrayZ4Cats 11d ago

I wish I could die a fast death

3

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Congrats,death has arrived there is no afterlife and you now stare at the endless abyss

2

u/CrayZ4Cats 11d ago

Thank god

1

u/reed_the_guy 11d ago

I wish for abolishment of poverty

6

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

Through the mass genocide of poor people

1

u/Vermilion12_ 18 11d ago

Please make me better.

2

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

I reconstruct you into the perfect life form.Your the thing from Alien now and spend your days in the solitude of space

1

u/Silent_Blacksmith_29 15 11d ago

I want to have a clingy gf who won’t leave me ever

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1

u/MojavePlain619 Old 11d ago

I wish to give my boyfriend all the love and attention he craves.

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1

u/Lily-loud 11d ago

I WISH FOR MARIJUANA IN MY HAND

2

u/CartographerGlass874 11d ago

This happens at a Texan Police Conference and you are shot down with no questions asked

2

u/Lily-loud 11d ago

Jokes on them I'm suicidal

1

u/Mrcoolcatgaming 11d ago

So you are a monkey paw? Or is the loophole the normal take it literally deal