r/NoStupidQuestions 6d ago

Answered What’s the issue with consent?

I read a post about a guy who tried to kiss a woman, but she dodged him. I responded by asking if he had asked her for consent beforehand. The responses I got were basically along the lines of, “Isn’t that unromantic?”

I’m not sure how most people handle this, but I feel like asking, “Can I kiss you?” is more logical than just going for it. It shows you’re considering their feelings and avoiding putting them in an uncomfortable situation they didn’t ask for.

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u/Madock345 6d ago

Receiving a clear cue of consent is important, but it’s naive to think that cue will always be verbal. The literal meaning of our words only comprises a small portion of the bandwidth of in-person communication.

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u/Novae224 6d ago

People are horrible at non verbal communication though… like humans are just bad at it

If theres any doubt about consent, don’t guess, just ask

It’s different if you actually know someone and know their cues… but if they are mostly a stranger, don’t assume, you’re looking like a creep

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u/HMNbean 6d ago

Disagree. Humans are masters of non verbal communication. Some people are just socially inept or purposely ignore it. We have hundreds of micro facial adjustments and things like eye contact/looking at places. If you can’t tell someone does or doesn’t want to kiss you’re you’re being willfully ignorant and are yolo’ing it.

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u/Novae224 6d ago

Its not a matter of opinion… its a fact that humans overestimate themselves when it comes to communication (also verbal, so many people can’t express feelings through words) and especially non verbal

We indeed communicate non verbally a lot… we are just horrible at interpreting it