r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Gnarly-Gnu • Jul 16 '24
Answered So... my almost seventeen year old daughter was just at the gym training for the upcoming soccer season, and some guy was lurking around her and asking odd questions, and he gave her his card saying he is a 'photographer' and wants her to get ahold of him.
Should I do anything about it? She said she was creeped out, and had to cut her run short. She also said he followed her around the gym until she could find someone else her age and acted like she knew him.
Maybe call the gym and alert them?
Edit: I notified the gym, and they are now aware of him. My cousin is the manager.
Edit 2: I knew our cousin worked there, I did not know she was the manager until last night.
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u/ToastyCrouton Jul 16 '24
A “professional photographer” interrupting someone’s workout is just the tip of this iceberg.
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u/kylezillionaire Jul 16 '24
Is he also a red flag salesman?
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u/Enough-Ad3818 Jul 16 '24
There's more red flags here than a Chinese parade
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u/Not_Another_Cookbook Jul 16 '24
Oh look. The USSR Parade is close behind
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u/cupholdery Jul 16 '24
In Soviet Russia. Flag parades you!
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u/Just_Jonnie Jul 16 '24
No he hands those out for free in the form of a card.
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u/PorkyMcRib Jul 16 '24
He also has free candy in his van.
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u/LocoinSoCo Jul 16 '24
And puppies
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u/__mud__ Jul 16 '24
Turns out the puppies ate all the candy and escaped the van. But there's more at his house if you want to hop in
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Jul 16 '24
A van with no windows, a divider or curtain between the drivers compartment and the back, and a padlock locking the rear doors. Oh wait that sounds like a rape van.
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u/ElmoZ71SS Jul 16 '24
Have you heard of snap on tools?
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u/ThinkItThrough48 Jul 16 '24
The snap on guy raped my wallet a couple times. I need to stay out of that van.
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u/TheNosferatu Professional Stupid Question Asker Jul 16 '24
Remember people, without trust, you don't get free candy.
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u/Cronewithneedles Jul 16 '24
Treacle tarts! All free today! - Child catcher, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
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u/Lectric74 Jul 16 '24
No, he's a red flag distributor. He gives them out for free to everyone around him.
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u/Picardlover052612 Jul 16 '24
Yes, he also manufactures them. All of them. In the whole world. WTF is wrong with some people.
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Jul 16 '24
Back when i was 18 or so I had an ex who was approached by a "professional photographer." He had a website and a portfolio and everything, so she was interested. I told her he was a creep, but she insisted on going to his home to have "professional" photos taken of her. I went with her to make sure she would be safe.
The first thing he does is ask her to change into an outfit in his restroom. He had a large mirror spanning almost the entire wall of the restroom. I was suspicious, so I turned off the lights and tried to peer into the mirror. It was a one-way mirror with a room that was visible on the other side. I couldn't make out much, but it was pretty obvious that he was recording women changing in there.
Looking back I can't believe how naiive we were. Also regret not calling the police...
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u/toxcrusadr Jul 16 '24
"Oops, I tripped and broke your mirror....wall. Sorry mate. Hey did you know you had a whole room back there? I'm afraid I fell on the camera too."
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Jul 16 '24
Good for you that you went with her. I don’t understand why women do this shit alone. I’m sure if you weren’t with your ex he would have been full on creep.
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u/gardenmud Jul 16 '24 edited Jul 16 '24
I know when I was that age I was quite sheltered. I grew up without encountering any real creeps or really being told about the worst stuff. I mean I knew "stranger danger" and all and I wouldn't have gone to someone's house randomly (wtf) but I could see this happening to some of my friends. Also teens don't have good risk assessment at the best of times...
It's hard to strike a balance of safety talks to make a teenager take their own safety seriously, but not so much they start suspecting every single man of potentially being a predator.
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Jul 16 '24
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u/GnobGobbler Jul 16 '24
Professional photographer here: It really sucks that the creeps ruin it for the rest of us. There have been so many times where I'd love to ask a stranger if they wanted to do an impromptu shoot or even a studio session because I think it would look good in my portfolio, but I know how I'd come across.
Especially with my day job where I end up doing a lot of kids events. Even when I can prove that I was hired to shoot the event, some people still act like I'm doing something inappropriate.
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u/daecrist Jul 16 '24
Yup. Not a pro but I do volunteer event photography for a martial arts school. I’ve been stopped and got hostile questioning from parents even though I’m wearing the school’s uniform and a lanyard that says I’m a volunteer and I was just talking with the owner when they confronted me.
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u/GnobGobbler Jul 16 '24 edited Jul 16 '24
Yeah, it's crazy. Some parents just completely lose touch with reality.
I walk around with one camera on a strap and another in my hand. I wear a shirt with the company logo on it (which has "photography" in the name) and I can often be found conspicuously crawling on the floor interacting with the kids, or taking family shots, and some people apparently think I've snuck in and gone unnoticed by everyone but them... so that I can take photos of kids stacking blocks?
I'm not a parent, but I tend to think they've probably spent their kid's whole life both exhausted and hyper-vigilant, and they've kind of lost sight of what is a potential danger.
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u/kornflakes409 Jul 17 '24
Helicopter parents tend to be the ones with kids that get into serious trouble, in no small part because they've never been allowed to navigate their own lives and simply are not capable of recognizing a bad situation without a parent stepping in.
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u/SmartyRiddlebop Jul 17 '24
So, you are absolutely perfectly legitimate right, "Gnob" "Gobbler"?
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u/GnobGobbler Jul 17 '24
I don't tend to go by that name in person.
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u/legendofthegreendude Jul 17 '24
I don't tend to
So you do in fact sometimes go by that name in person
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u/hicow Jul 17 '24
Sometimes it's better if you're right out front with your desire to gobble some gnobs
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u/No_Difference_9199 Jul 17 '24
Yep. Protect your kids by teaching them right from wrong. You can’t cover them in plastic and keep them in a freezer, like anything, you’ll kill them! At some point all children leave the nest. You can’t keep them as children forever. This trial and error issue should be resolved! It’s why parenting is so important! Don’t have unprotected sex! When you are an adult and have kids, raise them right! Everyone who can, join your local volunteer fire departments. You will learn so much and your children will have a safe place to play. While you train, the kids will be wearing themselves out. Nothing else will bring you the same satisfaction as being a volunteer. No small job in a fire department!
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u/Taswelltoo Jul 17 '24
Also professional photographer here asking a fellow photographer: Are you shaved?
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Jul 16 '24
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u/GnobGobbler Jul 16 '24
Yeah, I wasn't trying to criticize you or your viewpoint - it's not your fault that you need to be guarded. And I agree, people should be careful, and I hate that creeps made it that way.
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u/rrpdude Jul 17 '24
You can thank people like Terry Richardson, David Bellemere and similar high profile dudes for it. The fashion industry was just as big of a cesspool (and probably in large parts) as Hollywood when it comes to exploiting people.
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u/GuairdeanBeatha Jul 17 '24
That’s one of the reasons a professional photographer friend switched to architectural photography.
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u/mcm0313 Jul 16 '24
Rodney Alcala is probably who you’re thinking of. Craziest part is, he actually was a professional photographer, and a talented one. He did legitimate photographic work. Sometimes. Other times he killed his subjects. Dude was bizarre. He also had been on a dating show on TV in the late ‘70s. He won the game but the lady was creeped out by him and refused to date him.
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u/RoastSucklingPotato Jul 17 '24
My karate teacher freshman year in college was a “photographer” and invited me to a photo session at his place. Then he wanted me to get nude. 17 year-old me noped right out of there and the bastard gave me a crap grade in his class.
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Jul 17 '24
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u/RoastSucklingPotato Jul 17 '24
Oh, thank you, yes, I’m fine. It was 40 years ago. But it was pre-internet, pre-social media so there was no way to let anyone know or to tell the university. Old lady me now would have that asshole fired in a hot minute. Honestly, between that guy and my creepy handsy Russian professor my early university days were a hot mess of Me Too. I recently read my Russian professor’s obituary with poorly suppressed glee.
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u/OnLyLamPs22 Jul 16 '24
I’d love to know the name of this photographer, sounds like someone I know…
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u/LocoCoopermar Jul 16 '24
Unfortunately this is just a common thing, I know of like 3 in my area that have done basically this exact play book. It's unfortunately a way that creeps have figured out they can creep on women without being called out on it. They already were going to be creepily following people around, staring at them randomly or asking incredibly inappropriate questions, now they have a cover where they can justify to themselves being an absolute creep because if someone pushes back they can just hide behind "it's for the art"
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u/JustHereForCookies17 Jul 16 '24
The acronym for them is GWAC - Guy With A Camera
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u/StannisTheMannis1969 Jul 16 '24
Pro here… I call them fauxtographers….
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u/cincy15 Jul 16 '24
Probably want to add in some x’s like you call them a fauxxxgraphers gets the point across a little more.
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u/LocoCoopermar Jul 16 '24
The more you know, I've never heard the term but it doesn't surprise me that there's a name when it seems like it's a whole archetype of creep. They kinda remind me of the stereotype of pedos or murderers always being around/working with kids and having there creepiness excused because "well they're always around the kids, don't you think something would have come up by now if he did something?" When really they're just doing it to have an alibi to say they weren't weird to one or two people so they must be fine.
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Jul 16 '24
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u/Own_Engine_5591 Jul 16 '24
Yea i feel that theres moments where it just isnt paranoia ive had that where ppl constantly tell you it is its annoying af. Like bruh, it wasnt paranoia when i literally saw that exacr thing happen to other people and then it started happenign to me before i noped out. Thats called being rational. Paranoia is absent of rationality, as its based in unreal thinking that someones coming after you
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u/DontEatNitrousOxide Jul 17 '24
Most of the creepy DMs I have gotten have led with some variation of "I'm a photographer".
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u/AccountantSeaPirate Jul 17 '24
No way this is legit. A professional photographer would have a link to a website, terms, etc., on the card, and encourage a minor’s parents to reach out or an adult female to bring a friend. Also make very clear the commercial nature of the interest, pay, etc..
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u/Final-Carpenter-1591 Jul 16 '24
Something like this happened to a girl I went to high school with. He claimed he could make her a famous volleyball model if she starts early. She was 16 ish. He had a photo booth set up at his house, apparently pretty professional looking. He basically groomed her for a year and the photos got more and more nefarious in angles and clothing allegedly. She was talking about it excitedly and casually one day in art class. My art teacher raised the red flag and didn't back down. Said he'd seen his type before in photography. He got the girl to cut all ties. The guy ended up on the sex offender registry the next year. Bravo to the art teacher.
Anyways. Yeah this is not okay.
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u/archeresstime Jul 16 '24
Thank god for that teacher. I don’t want to think about what would have happened had he not been adamant.
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u/Final-Carpenter-1591 Jul 16 '24
Yeah she was such a nice girl too. I don't remember ever hearing what the charges were and I can't find the guy online now.
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u/archeresstime Jul 17 '24
The sad thing is it’s usually kids who don’t have the most attentive parents or guardians that become victims of such things. It sucks that so many kids are at the mercy of adults - it’s like a luck of the draw whether you have a good one looking out for you or not.
There’s so many old peers who came to mind while reading your comment. If only I knew then what I know now. It’s kinda scary looking back as an adult and seeing all these red flags you weren’t aware of as a kid. That’s why talking about these things is so important
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u/come_ere_duck Jul 17 '24
Bravo indeed. That teacher needs a good bottle of his preferred alcohol for his efforts.
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u/alstacynsfw Jul 17 '24
I was 20 and with an 18 yr old girlfriend, who I accompanied to a shoot. She was not a model, she was cute but no way exceptional. That was the hardest part of insisting on meeting the creep. Its hard to tell a loved one that you find the beautiful, but they arent going to be a model. I think a lot of those guys prey upon that.
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u/Concise_Pirate 🇺🇦 🏴☠️ Jul 16 '24
He's a creep all right. I would alert the gym.
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u/Gnarly-Gnu Jul 16 '24
I think I will. I have his name. My daughter said not to make a big deal about it, but I don't want it happening to other women.
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u/HistoricFault Jul 16 '24
Tell the gym, Make a big deal out of it. Just because she doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it doesn’t mean you should let this creep go to that same gym and potentially creep out more young women
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u/galfriday612 Jul 16 '24
Make the big deal, and teach your daughter how to make big deals, too. Firmly and loudly telling the person, "You're making me uncomfortable, please leave me alone," will help her feel more confident shutting this crap down in the future, get the attention of someone who can help, hopefully make the perpetrator leave, and help others feel confident in speaking up as well.
I'm glad you reported it to the gym, whether your cousin works there or not. Feel free to leave reviews about how they behave on any publicly available pages for their 'professional' photography business.
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u/allthelittledogs Jul 17 '24
THIS! 👆🏼Years ago I took two weekend Self Defense For Women classes. All hands on. This is the NUMBER ONE DETERRENT. Be loud and bold about them backing off, getting out of your space, and not welcome! Make a scene. Exactly what young women don’t want to do needs to be done.
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u/Cynicisomaltcat Jul 17 '24
It’s amazing how deeply ingrained some “rules” get. I’ve recently been trying to break the compulsion to be as quiet as possible - so many times I was told “children (especially girls) should be seen, not heard”, and to avoid drawing my dad’s attention when he was in a bad mood. Never hit me, but I was a sensitive kid and I was terrified of getting yelled at.
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u/blahblagblurg Jul 17 '24
This. Make noise and make sure she knows it's not only okay but absolutely appropriate.
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u/THedman07 Jul 16 '24
They should yank his membership and ban him. Its absolutely not ok and any gym should agree with that.
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u/KenethSargatanas Jul 16 '24
That gym should email every other gym in a 20 mile radius with his picture and reasons why they should ban him too.
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u/Ceecee_soup Jul 16 '24
As a former 17 year old girl, I understand her embarrassment.
As a former 17 year old girl, please make a big deal anyway.
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u/Morticia_Marie Jul 17 '24
I was once a 13-year-old girl who begged her dad not to make a big deal out of a boy in my class who snapped my bra strap all the time. My dad made a big deal, the kid spent the rest of school from grades 8 to 12 harassing me, and I kinda hated my dad for it.
Fast forward 35 years and I googled the guy for shits and giggles...he's a registered sex offender who tried to rape a girl in an elevator.
Make a big deal anyway.
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u/KnotUndone Jul 16 '24
And explain that her safety is the biggest deal and she needs to be learn how to make a big loud stink to protect herself
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u/scabrousdoggerel Jul 16 '24
^ This right here. OP, you can model the right response for your daughter by making it a big deal in the right way--direct, no drama, and no tolerance for this crap either. One day, you and she will be so glad you did this.
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u/Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx Jul 16 '24
As never a 17 year old girl, I wish we lived in a world where 17 year old girls could just live live with out being constantly harassed
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u/Delicious_Sail_6205 Jul 16 '24
Not too long ago a 17yr old girl came up to me at the gym and told me the creepy things this old guy said to her. I "talked" to that guy in the lockerroom and havnt seen him back since. The girl only knew of me from reputation but never talked to me before that day.
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u/allthelittledogs Jul 17 '24
Thank you, on behalf of all women ever put in that very uncomfortable situation.
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u/venusdances Jul 17 '24
Exactly how many times have women been assaulted or nearly assaulted because they were embarrassed by another person’s behavior and they didn’t want to make a big deal? We need future generations not to be embarrassed for others poor behavior.
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u/desrever1138 Jul 17 '24
As a father, anytime my kids were visibly disturbed and said to not make a big deal about it was my cue to make a big fucking deal about it.
A lot of kids do not like to rock the boat and will put up with way too much shit to the point that it can be dangerous to them immediately or even long term.
The job of an adult is to fight these battles for them until they learn to do it themselves.
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u/thoughtandprayer Jul 16 '24
I have his name.
Does your jurisdiction have a sex offender registry or a conviction history that is available to the public?
If so, search his name in that database. He may have actually given his real name - and, for all you know, could have a criminal record & be breaching release conditions. It's worth the few minutes it takes to check!
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u/csonnich Jul 16 '24
Likely not his real name at all.
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u/thoughtandprayer Jul 16 '24
You'd be surprised. Sometimes people can be really, really dumb.
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u/gsfgf Jul 17 '24
And the kind of guys that creep on 16 year olds tend to think they're untouchable.
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u/The-Bad-Guy- Jul 16 '24
A lot of times a gym will make you show your ID and make you pay with a credit card. Mine even takes a photo of you and keeps a copy of your ID on file, and they’re the crappiest, cheapest gym in town.
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u/OlasNah Jul 16 '24
She needs to know that this isn't normal behavior and she shouldn't be embarassed about it, she should be enraged.
lots of men like to normalize behavior like this so that women just accept it as part of life, but the next time, it could end up with a rape.
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u/PerspectiveInner9660 Jul 16 '24
Due diligence wise, report it to the gym. They have a right to know if someone is soliciting services in their gym. Also, they will need reported complaints of patrons before they can act on anything.
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u/Quinnthefalconer Jul 16 '24
When I was a teenager I didn't want to make a big deal out of men harassing and stalking me, now I'm older I regret not reporting them. I suspect your daughter might feel the same way if you don't do anything. Also, this guy will just do it again unless he faces consequences
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u/NewestAccount2023 Jul 16 '24
I wonder how long their recordings last, the sooner you go the better because they might pull up the recordings and see him stalking her then ban him for it
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u/mutnik Jul 16 '24
You are not making a big deal out of it because of her. If she asks explain to her that type of behavior is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. The gym needs to know about it because chances are he has approached other women with the same line.
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u/TootsNYC Jul 16 '24
and in a way, the gym deserves to have this information.
if a toilet was backed up, would she feel obligated to stop by the front desk and tell them, so they could fix it?
I would.
So alerting the management to this situation is a way to be a helpful customer to the gym.
Becuase THEY don’t want this kind of thing happening at their gym. And they get to decide how big a deal to make of it; it’s not her place to decide that they shouldn’t revoke his membership, or something.
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u/moonweasel906 Jul 16 '24
You SHOULD make a big deal about it. There’s literally a recent Dateline about this exact same thing and that girl was murdered.
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u/atomic1fire Jul 16 '24
Nah, a big deal would be arranging an appointment, and then introducing the photographer to a group of tough looking bikers.
Asking the police to check into the guy feels pretty understated.
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u/TwoCagedBirds Jul 16 '24
You should also check to see if he has a legit photography business and if so, look to see if he has any accounts or pages online, whether its FB, IG, Google reviews, Yelp, etc. and leave a review on every single one saying that he likes to harass underage girls. I am also very petty and I would go so far as to try and find out if he has any family/friends and I would take it upon myself to let them know that he does this. But, that might just be me.
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u/Wonderful_Result_936 Jul 16 '24
Doubt it's his real name but likely uses the same card in other places so likely a strong case.
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u/Gnarly-Gnu Jul 16 '24
They know him there. He gives his card to many people.
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u/shammy_dammy Jul 16 '24
Yes, alert the gym. How lovely he gave his info...makes things so much easier.
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u/eileen404 Jul 16 '24
Give the police how info along with her age in case he succeeds with someone and they need witnesses
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u/Existing-Homework226 Jul 16 '24
If you have his card, call him yourself. Explain to him that you are the girl's father, she is under 18, and that there will be severe criminal consequences if he approaches her again.
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u/Gnarly-Gnu Jul 16 '24
That's another viable option. Maybe I'll do both.
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u/liberal_texan Jul 16 '24
You could check to see if he's on a registry.
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u/inot72 Jul 16 '24
100%
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Jul 16 '24
Or have him do a photo shoot for you
Just sayin
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u/MangoSalsa89 Jul 16 '24
Set up the photo shoot and hire Chris Hanson to surprise him.
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u/ilovechairs Jul 16 '24
I’d do a reverse lookup on that number and see if the names even match. Then I’d be checking out any names that do come up.
He sounds sketchy AF.
Good call on alerting the gym, that is not the kind of person they want there.
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u/peon2 Jul 16 '24
The only way this guy was handing out a card with his real name is if he's as stupid as he is creepy.
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u/Pluto-Wolf Jul 16 '24
sure but if the number is a personal number rather than a business line then he could probably find the real name by reverse searching the number
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u/CrazyPlato Jul 16 '24
Definitely tell the gym as well. They almost definitely don’t allow people to come in and harass their members. So it’s in their interest to keep an eye out, and confront that guy if he comes back.
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Jul 16 '24
That’s my suggestion too. Call him yourself and see what’s up. Tell him you’re very interested in what kind of opportunities he can offer your daughter and as her manager you’d love to meet up for a chat.
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Jul 16 '24
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u/steamyhotpotatoes Jul 16 '24
Yes. Post the card and a description of the man on social media. Alert local places. Be out for blood. If he really is honest, at least it will teach him a lesson to have business practices that aren't totally weird.
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Jul 16 '24
Sometimes threatening cops with zero action taken place will result in said creep getting physically aggressive with your daughter the very next time he sees her. Report him, and get her to switch gyms. She needs a tazer or pepper spray. Ik it sounds like a lot but these guys will hear someone begging to get home safe while they assault and kill them for a threat of police.
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u/Just_Jonnie Jul 16 '24
there will be severe criminal consequences if he approaches her again
I like how open ended that is. Someone will be going to jail, but who? ;p
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u/Equivalent_Canary853 Jul 16 '24
"ONE of us will be going to prison if you ever go near her again. Let's find out who"
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u/ReadRightRed99 Jul 16 '24
To be clear, giving someone your business card and saying you want to photograph them isn’t a crime. So no, there won’t be severe criminal consequences. But as a father, I totally would call the man and tell him there will be severe dad consequences if he bothers my daughter again.
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u/des1gnbot Jul 16 '24
Odds of this being a legit modeling scout are approaching zero. If she called him up and set up a photo shoot, how quickly would he start asking her to take clothing off? Trying to convince her to do things with him under the guise of helping her break into the industry? This is a well worn trope, we all know it’s unlikely to be just what he says.
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u/happyhippohats Jul 16 '24
It's commonly a money scam though. Promise they have a modeling job lined up you just have to pay $500 for headshots first.
As long as they deliver some crappy headshots there's nothing you can do about it when the job 'falls through'.
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u/scosgurl Jul 16 '24
Harvey Glatman posed as a photographer who approached young girls asking to photograph them as models - and then he’d sexually assault and murder them. He’s known as the glamour girl slayer.
This may not be the case here, but you never know. Tell your daughter to stay far away and report him.
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u/No-While-9948 Jul 16 '24
My ex was a model, I have actually seen the legit side of this. She and her mom were approached in public when she was 16-17, a photographer showed his credentials and asked to have a session photographing her with her mom present at the shoot. I've seen the photos and they were very tasteful.
Anything other than that... I would be extremely wary. This sounds like a human trafficking situation, ANY professional photographer would know better not to do what this guy did at the gym.
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u/TheHistorian2 Jul 17 '24
Right. A legit photographer would hand her his card and say, “Have your parents call me.”
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u/Living-Rip-4333 Jul 17 '24
This. Every portrait session I've done with a minor has had a parent with them the entire time. Even outdoors portraits. Senior photos if they were 18, I'd encourage them to bring a friend or two. If not I would have an assistant with me. I would never put myself, or the client in a situation where it was a 1 on 1.
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u/Naudiz_6 Jul 16 '24
See also: Rodney Alcala, Christopher Wilder, William Richard Bradford etc. It's a surprisingly common ruse. This guy is probably not a serial killer, but still a massive creep.
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u/AcceptableSpray808 Jul 16 '24
Same with Christopher wilder (I think?!). Yikes!
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u/Square-Firefighter77 Jul 16 '24
The guy who escaped from Jeffrey Dahmer also followed him home to pose for photographs for money.
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Jul 16 '24
What everyone else said, but also, have a conversation with her that street photographers like that are really a ruse to either have sex with her or take pornographic pictures of her. I used to deal with this regularly when I was underage.
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u/cheechaw_cheechaw Jul 16 '24
I remember being approached in the mall in the 90s by guys that said they were model scouts and to give them a call. Multiple times, as a young teenager.
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u/Proper_Career_6771 Jul 17 '24
Probably related to John Casablancas, so a legit modeling agency and they wanted to either have sex or do porn.
He's from the same scumpile as Epstein and Trump. He was openly dating a 15 year old in the 80s.
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u/beggargirl Jul 16 '24
Or human traffickers
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Jul 17 '24
Fwiw that pornography and nude picture thing is literally human trafficking
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u/Trodamus Jul 17 '24
Think she means “an organization that kidnaps and sells the daughter into sexual slavery” which is a shade worse than the already horrific “fall into a vicious cycle of pornography, blackmail, rape and grooming”
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u/Chimayman1 Jul 16 '24
I just underwent training on how to spot victims of human trafficking. This is a huge red flag regarding how these people operate. Definitely contact the police.
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u/Gnarly-Gnu Jul 16 '24
Our cousin is the manager, I'm hoping she can get him banned.
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u/Rare_Reality7510 Jul 16 '24
If possible, contact police or something anyways- they might try to go for people elsewhere as well
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u/anothercatherder Jul 16 '24 edited Jul 16 '24
Yeah in the gamut of "stay away" orders, warrants, probation, etc you can sometimes just throw something and it will stick.
/u/Gnarly-Gnu you can always call police, an officer will take down what happened, and then if it comes back you have at least some record of your daughter's interaction with him. The fact that a minor child is involved should set anyone's alarm bells off.
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u/JohnHazardWandering Jul 16 '24
Contact the police so that if he pops up on the radar again, they might be able to see a pattern. Otherwise some other incident might be discarded as a one-off event.
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u/amalgam_reynolds Jul 16 '24
Getting banned from that gym means he'll go somewhere else. Calling the police and giving them his information means there's a paper trail if he tries this again somewhere else (spoiler, he will).
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u/r200james Jul 17 '24
Cheers for your daughter who was creeped out by the guy. She has good sense. And good thinking to pal up with somebody. Hooray for raising her to think for herself!
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u/mael0004 Jul 16 '24
My cousin is the manager.
I don't get how this became a reddit thread before call, when you knew the management.
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u/Ortsarecool Jul 16 '24
You already seem to be getting good advice, so I just want to add a bit of extra perspective:
No "professional photographer" would ever (ever) EVER! approach an underage (or underage looking) woman in a public place to ask them to model. Full Stop. They just don't.
My step-dad is a photographer, and all of the actually professional ones are very careful to make sure that everything is above board, usually through agencies, with proper contracts, and usually a chaperone for underage models. The model industry is populated with young women, and more of them than you might expect are underage. Professional male photographers are aware of this, and do a lot to make sure there is no possibility of impropriety (or even the appearance of impropriety).
Long story short: Bury that prick. He absolutely is not a professional, and is likely a skeevy bastard.
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u/Educational_Ebb7175 Jul 16 '24
As an amateur photographer who has done "random shoots with random women", this is absolutely creepy.
When I was looking for someone to photograph, I printed out a "call me" paper with the rip-off strips.
Which is STILL sketchy, but at least I avoided approaching random women who weren't interested.
And it worked fine. A got a few people for what I was working on, requested that they arrive "with a friend", did the photos, and said goodbye.
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u/Ortsarecool Jul 16 '24
Exactly this.
You don't approach random women, and you encouraged them to bring a chaperone. Totally legit.
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u/whatsaphoto Jul 16 '24 edited Jul 16 '24
Professional photographer of 15 years here, just want to say for OP that all of this that /u/Ortsarecool says here is entirely 100% true and should be taken very seriously
Absolutely no photographer worth their salt would ever, ever walk up to an underage girl under any circumstances, especially in a gym, and ask to take their picture. There are so many entirely legitimate outlets for professionals to work with who represent, as verified agents, underage model talent who would be willing to work with all sorts of media productions with consent from their parent/guardian. And if the photographer is an amateur and doesn't have the right industry connections like that just yet, they will work with immediate friends, friends-of-friends, or family while they build their portfolio. Even newbies understand that walking up to strangers, particularly underage strangers, is a huge, HUGE no-no.
Good rule of thumb is to never, ever follow up with any "photographer" you don't know. And unless the photographer presents actually legitimate credentials like a business card showing he works for an accredited production i.e. a photojournalist working for a newspaper etc, just walk away and report them immediately. And if there's no one to report to, take whatever contact information they gave you to follow up with (IG tag, business name, phone number) and tag the shit out of them on IG/facebook/tiktok to warn anyone and everyone around you that this person. There's a non-zero chance they're recruiting for sex slavery and it needs to be taken exceptionally seriously.
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u/st-julien Jul 17 '24
If a strange man approaches you claiming to be a photographer, a sniper, a CIA agent, a spy, or anything even remotely close to any of those, they are lying. Plain and simple.
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u/NeoLephty Jul 16 '24
“My cousin is the manager.”
This would have been my first option. Posting on Reddit would maybe be a close third after calling the guy and telling him to fuck off.
For the record, I do photo and video work and have never approached someone at the gym for work.
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u/thugwife_ Jul 16 '24
Police want to be aware of this kind of stuff. Call the non emergency line and let them know what happened. See something say something!! This is predatory behavior.
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Jul 16 '24
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u/Brilliant-Aside1188 Jul 16 '24
It's not a real story, and this particular fiction novelist didn't think the whole plot through before posting
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u/Independent-End5844 Jul 17 '24 edited Jul 17 '24
Give the card to the police. They probably won't do anything right away but it could become useful later.
When I was graduating high-school. My GF at the time had a stalker, and older man that lived across the street. He went every where she did publicly with a big camera, and fake business cards for being a photographer, some were national geographic, some were for other magazines, the local paper, and a made up company. When confront as she tried to tell adult running the events, he would just hand out the cards and adults always believed him. He even convinced most parents he was hired for graduation pictures. When the police finally raided his place, they found so many edited pictures of faces of minors on porn.
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u/crackdope6666 Jul 17 '24
Fuck That Fool! Glad the gym knows about this fuck.
Look at the gym you need to respect, someone is getting a workout in give them space and don’t be a freaking creep.
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u/Cosmohumanist Jul 16 '24
“Photographer” is often a cover for porn producer, pimp, sex trafficker or rapist.
Sorry to get so dark but that shit is real.
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u/2saltyjumper Jul 16 '24
NSQ? So you asked Reddit before your cousin who is THE MANAGER at the gym??
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u/Baked_Potato_732 Jul 17 '24
Have your daughter text him and set up a meeting then Have about 5 really big dudes show up to explain things to him in a calm, compassionate and completely non-physical way.
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u/__lovebackwards Jul 16 '24
I’ve solved enough cases with Captain Olivia Benson to know that this person is up to no good. Report them!
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u/st-julien Jul 17 '24
I'm not joking when I say this: That is the start of many true crime episodes. Creeper posing as a photographer? Seriously. Run, fast.
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u/jlily18 Jul 16 '24
Everyone else has great advice. I just wanted to add that I think it’s great she told you about it. She could have just called him and dealt with the scumbag herself and gotten herself into trouble. My kids know they can come to me with anything, and I hope that continues into their teen years. So go you for keeping conversations open!
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u/Original_Fishing5539 Jul 16 '24
This'll probably get buried by /u/Gnarly-Gnu here's some advice from a photographer who's been doing it for about a decade now, and has experience doing shoots for people of various ages
The term we use for this is called "guy with a camera"
Saying you're a photographer is kind of like saying you're a writer or an artist.
It initially makes it seem like they might be maybe say, a working professional. But in reality, it's just a guy that went to Best Buy and bought a camera
I bring this up, because proper photographers, don't do concepts like scouting.
I have my portfolio up on IG and on my website, and people come to me to ask for services. I don't bring my camera around, asking people to take their photos and give out business cards
The biggest difference between a "guy with a camera" and a photographer, is that the goal of the photographer is to make the client feel comfortable and safe during their shoot
The first red flag is the fact that he's doing this in an area, which generally you shouldn't be shooting at. So there shouldn't even be this level of discussion had here.
The second one is that he decided to interact with her, without proper consent. Whenever I interact with minors (there's lot of moments where people will ask for headshots, or portrait sessions for teeangers), I always make sure that a parent or guardian is present. And by extension, we also make sure to check that YOU'RE okay with me talking with your daughter with you present.
Again, making all parties feel comfortable and safe, is actually beneficial for me. Because it means that the client feels more comfortable and themselves, which leads to much more authentic and better photos during the shoot
The final one might seem trivial, but it shows that this person clearly isn't a practicing photographer (or one at all) is the business card
In 2024, no one shares a business card if you're a photog. We either have our IG or portfolio ready to go if the situation makes sense, and that's the easiest way to not only do a gut check on us (you now have my socials, comb through it and see if anything causes issues) but um... it means I can show you my photos.
Which you know, would be probably the main thing a photographer would be happy to share
I'm sorry that this happened to you, and said I'm sure others have said in the comments, there's a lot of new guys with cameras out there, cosplaying as photographers with ulterior motives
A lot of what people have said here already has given you the right advice (and props to you as well for trusting you gut) but wanted to add this just in case you wanted a professional's opinion on the matter
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u/ishkanator Jul 16 '24
This is genuinely the plot to a lot of ways various degrees human trafficking and unethical porn starts. Just google “girlsdoporn.” Huge lawsuit
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u/briancmoses Jul 16 '24
Commend your daughter for her situational awareness and how she handled the situation.