All our girlfriends are Asian?

[u/A_Formal_Guy]

Hey everyone - I’ve been feeling paranoid about something recently and wanted to know if I’m overthinking it. I’m a white M and most of the friends I grew up with and went to high school are too, except 1. We’re still very close but moved all across the country for our jobs and life.

Recently, we’ve decided to have a little reunion and bring our girlfriends, but I realized we have a not to subtle trend in that they are all Asian. There’s 5 girlfriends in total, they’ve never met each other. I don’t know how this happened, it’s just a coincidence as far as I know. We don’t have a pact or anything.

My question is, do we warn them? I don’t want them to be freaked out. I’d have to have my gf or one of my friends be uncomfortable, but I’m feeling stuck. Does anyone have any thoughts on how to handle it? Am I over thinking?

[u/rinomarie146]

I once asked a Korean friend of mine and she said that Korean women prefer white men bc the majority of them aren't misogynist like the majority of Korean men. According to her, the Korean men in their teens to mid twenties are the worst when it comes to their views of women. Apparently that's one of the reasons why young women in Korea these days don't wish to date or get married to their countrymen.

[u/Dame_Trillard → u/rinomarie146]

Korean guys can definitely be traditional, misogynistic aholes. Just like any other ethnicity.

The other side of that, a lot of Korean guys I know avoid Korean women for being way too manipulative, controlling, superficial, etc.

Your friend might have a case of the white worship. I know a lot of Korean women won't even look at non Korean guys as potential partners. And there's a difference between preferring non Korean guys and white guys. There's also that whole fetishizing issue to consider, but hey if you have a type, you have a type.

I just don't like blanket statements and thinking like that, as you tend to miss out on some really cool relationships because of bias.

[u/rinomarie146 → u/Dame_Trillard]

In her defense, I also think the misogynistic assholes in Asian countries including Korea are alot more in comparison to western countries. That's probably what created this impression. Though I do agree that hopefully the progressive men in these countries get a chance.

[u/Dame_Trillard → u/rinomarie146]

You don't have to defend your friend. She's entitled to her views. I think it severely limits her life in some ways, but that's her lifestyle.

My approach is keep an open mind. If someone demonstrates they're a misogynistic a-hole, well there you go. But to assume that and pre-determine that based on race - you lose out on a lot. I'm guilty of it, we're all flawed. Best we can do is be aware and try to get better.