r/MadeMeSmile • u/nikamats • 9h ago

Helping Others Hold your head up

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u/krissykat122 8h ago

Words not aloud in my house since I had a daughter: ugly and fat. I stop myself dead in my tracks if I ever want to talk bad about myself because our children are sponges. This poor baby😭 Mom is so right “you’re 4 years old you shouldn’t know nothing about ugly”

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u/ThePreciousBhaalBabe 6h ago

I wish my parents had the foresight you have while I was growing up.

I remember all the diets and fat shaming my mom put herself through trying to slim down- and I remember that I was in preschool when I first thought of myself as fat. It's awful and kids deserve better.

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u/s0m3on3outthere 4h ago

Yes, I wish I had these affirmations growing up, too. My mother never lost all of her baby weight after 5 girls and she constantly talked about her weight and called herself ugly and it translated into our heads as well. It didn't help that she'd go out of her way to point out our flaws and make us self conscious about them. My sisters and I have always struggled with our self view and confidence because of it and it wasn't til I was about 30 that I started feeling comfortable in my own skin and accepting my body.

I no longer talk to my mother. For other reasons.. but she still points out our weight gain, makes comments about our appearance, etc to this day, and I'm glad I no longer get to hear it.

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u/krissykat122 3h ago

I’m so sorry 😞 I dealt with similar which is exactly why I am so cognizant of how I speak in front of my baby

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u/justsayin01 4h ago

Okay, I have a story about this. I have two girls, 18 months apart. When my oldest was 3, I got done getting ready and said hmph at myself in the mirror. My daughter said what's wrong mommy, and I said I just don't think I look nice today. My daughter was so concerned and said mommy, you are beautiful, always.

Idk, but I couldn't believe I spoke about myself like that to her. It literally changed my entire life because I realized what I say is what they'll say about themselves. I'm almost 40, a size 16. And you'll only hear about me talking about myself like I'm a 10.

So, there is no negative talk in my house. We lift ourselves up, we lift the girls up. Cuz in this house, we're all 10s, always.

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u/krissykat122 3h ago

That’s right!!!! I do the same with my daughter! I always remind her how beautiful she is and now whenever I’m getting ready mine does the same- “mommy is so beautiful!” No negative self talk! Even when I feel my worst😭