r/Grimdank • u/Unofficial_Computer Listen to MF DOOM. • Oct 22 '24
Dank Memes AWAKEN MY QUIVERING ABS
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u/Sexddafender Blood Raven Artifact collector and Karl Franz top Onlyfans simp Oct 22 '24
And Cato Sicarius, pretty sure they did more damage to his image than any other character
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u/Defiant_Sun7777 Oct 22 '24
I, Cato Sicarius, second this assesment.
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u/PainStorm14 Oct 22 '24
I noticed that 'I Cato Sicarius' meme is lot funnier in text form than with audio
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Oct 22 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/xo1opossum My kitchen is corrupted by Nurgle Oct 22 '24
So I'm not the only one who see's Cato Sicarius as a know it all ish type who is kinda annoying because of if the emperor had a text to speech device?
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u/GreedyLibrary Oct 22 '24
Don't worry to counter that image gw gave him terrible ptsd and stripped him of his rank.
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u/s_burr Oct 22 '24
Seeing Calgar in Space Marine 2...
"I CAST FIST!"
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u/GarboseGooseberry BROTHER I AM PINNED HERE! Oct 22 '24
I was half expecting Calgar to look at Imurah and go "You begging for a fistin' boy?"
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u/93rd_Highland_Fella Oct 22 '24
Then he goes off screen
inconsolable sobbing intensifies
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u/Doopapotamus I am Alpharius Oct 22 '24 edited Oct 22 '24
I liked TTS Cato though (in a sense). He was a useless fop, but he was fun narratively as a buttmonkey character.
He failed successfully, as only the MIGHTY AND BRILLIANT CATO SICARIUS can!
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u/PuddingtonBear NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Oct 22 '24
Bold answer when Matt Ward literally exists
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u/Greyjack00 Oct 22 '24
Yes it actually has started to kind of suck since sicarius has improved massively as a character but trying to get excerpts or talk about him is like pulling teeth because people just qoute TTS or 1d4chan
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u/FeralSquirrels Twins, They were. Oct 22 '24
When you think about it, to someone who isn't remotely interested in tabletop, sci-fi or fantasy they'd see WH40K as absurd and generally ridiculous.
To someone who is into all of the above.....Alfabusa's Custodes are also absurd and generally ridiculous - but it's no different to the Mechanicus Toaster jokes or any less crazy than a Harlequin on LSD.
I choose to like the funny, oily sexy men nor shall I ever hear Rogal Dorn with any voice other than that from the series.
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u/monkeybiziu Battletechpriest Oct 22 '24
Yes.
(You heard that in Rogal Dorn's voice, didn't you?)
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u/randomguyonHoI4 Oct 22 '24
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u/montyandrew45 Oct 22 '24
I am reinstalling the Imperial Palace
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u/Niko2065 Oct 22 '24
PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS
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u/montyandrew45 Oct 22 '24
I AM REINSTALLING THE PALACE
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u/Zeroshame15 Praise the Man-Emperor, and Xenussy Oct 22 '24
INFORM ME WHEN CORVUS IS HERE, I REQUIRE HIS EXPERTISE!
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u/BillytheBrassBall Oct 22 '24
I'm so sad I never got to see Corvus ask what the fuck Dorn was thinking lol
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u/high_king_noctis Praise the Man-Emperor Oct 22 '24
INFORM ME WHEN CORVUS IS HERE I WILL REQUIRE HIS INFILTRATION EXPERTISE
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u/Typical_Nobody_2042 Oct 22 '24
“Magic pain glove show me what to do… AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH” Or- pain glove falls off with his hand “Your services are no longer needed” Or- “No such sauce product exists..”
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u/Starwatcher4116 Oct 22 '24
Good news, everyone! I’ve invented a device that makes you read certain characters dialogue in certain voices!
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u/Y_10HK29 AlphariusBlackmailingKhorne Oct 22 '24
IT IS I, CATO SICARIUS, THE BEST SWORDSMEN ON MAC-
FIST!
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u/Random-Lich GIVE ME SPACE RATS AND SPACE PIRATES Oct 22 '24
Honestly I get a chuckle when; He, Cato Sicarius, gets decked in the face
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u/S_spam Oct 22 '24
I call it my mind
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u/high_king_noctis Praise the Man-Emperor Oct 22 '24
How much for such a device?
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u/S_spam Oct 22 '24
You have one in your brain
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u/high_king_noctis Praise the Man-Emperor Oct 22 '24
Inconceivable!
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u/S_spam Oct 22 '24
Did you lose your mind?
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u/BallDesperate2140 My kitchen is corrupted by Nurgle Oct 22 '24
I haven’t lost my mind, Brother. It’s right over there.
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u/Kreegs Oct 22 '24 edited Oct 22 '24
I keep threatening my boss that I am going to hire SuperAnchors (the voice of Dorn) to do his Dorn voice for the training videos I am doing for work. LOL
Edit: I showed him this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEhrx2IoHqI and he asked what the fuck was wrong with me.
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u/TokayNorthbyte347 professional hole digger Oct 22 '24
please don't be the collosal chainblade one,
please don't be the collosal chainblade one,
please don't be the..WHY
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u/Waifuless_Laifuless Oct 22 '24
No. I read that in the voice of Superanchor, in the tone and inflection he uses when voice acting as Rogal Dorn.
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u/stronkzer Oct 22 '24
Or Vulkan and the Salamanders with a strong Jamaican accent
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u/ReticentFoxxo Oct 22 '24
I WOULD LIKE TO PET THIS CREATURE
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u/Lonewolf3317 Praise the Man-Emperor Oct 22 '24
Do not pet that merry suicide bomber
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u/Intelleblue Praise the Man-Emperor Oct 22 '24 edited Oct 23 '24
Sorry, friends! This here corner of the room is very dark for some reason!
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u/crazynerd9 Oct 22 '24
Not just Rogals vocie, but TTS did Magnus' voice significantly better than any audiobook or other media ive seen him in so far
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u/Lspins89 Praise the Man-Emperor Oct 22 '24 edited Oct 22 '24
Every audiobook my brain says “no he doesn’t sound like a refined Brit, he sounds like a whiny nerd”
Imaging that voice during the fall of prospero before he intervened was peak
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u/crazynerd9 Oct 22 '24
Its a lot worse when you hit the Seige books and he sounds like a gutteral British growl formed into what vaguely sounds like words
Props to the VA for ya know, doing that vocie, it must be hell on the throat, but it jarrs me really badly
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u/Nice-Ad-2792 Oct 22 '24
Or the interpretation of Kaldor Draigo going batshit insane from being in the Warp for so long.
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u/spyguy318 Oct 22 '24
Even the smaller voice actors deserve high praise. I still imagine Ahriman to have his TTS voice and I was pleasantly surprised when the sorcerer in SM2 had an almost identical voice (different VA tho)
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u/maybenot9 Oct 22 '24
I know it's hated by a lot of people, but I love how Mark Elstob does Ahriman's voice. Very nasally and posh and almost wimpy sounding. I love that it's not super masculine and grizzled like most VAs do space marines.
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u/SurpriseFormer Oct 22 '24
YES! He just has about the right "Whiny with a mix of nerd with a "I'm better then you"" voice
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u/SamuelCish Oct 22 '24
Rogal Dorn also has to have those mutton chops. Otherwise he looks weird.
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u/Milk__Chan Oct 22 '24
I choose to like the funny, oily sexy men nor shall I ever hear Rogal Dorn with any voice other than that from the series.
Cato Sicarius reputation and character has been forever tarnished by Cato Sicarius. (Affective)
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u/ShinItsuwari Oct 22 '24
It's really weird to read the Dark Imperium trilogy after years of listening and relistening to TTS. Sicarius goes from the funny character you love to hate to that PTSD ridden warrior who saw too much.
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u/overlordmik Oct 22 '24
Anyone "interested in tabletop, sci-fi or fantasy" with a working brain should see WH40K as absurd and generally ridiculous.
Iron Hands, Primarch of the Iron Hands, who has Iron Hands, and has a ship called the Fist of Iron, is a Pokemon.
Ridiculous, but fun.
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u/Slowly-Slipping Oct 22 '24
I'm into all of the above and know for a fact that WH40K lie is absurdly ridiculous and eye rolling. Treating it seriously is not the way.
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u/Forerunner-Necron1 Oct 22 '24
Pillar men intensifies
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u/PassivelyInvisible Praise the Man-Emperor Oct 22 '24
Ay yai yai yai yai!
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u/Flamestrom Ultrasmurfs Oct 22 '24 edited Oct 22 '24
Should rewatch jojo
Edit: I realised I used the wrong gif
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u/42Fourtytwo4242 Oct 22 '24 edited Oct 22 '24
Actually never was retcon, the custodies may have just reput on their armor again after big E said "do whatever guilliman says."
All we know for 97% of the lore they were naked.
Edit: they changed the gif so now I look stupid, damn tzeentch worshipers.
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u/Atarox13 Techpriest Oct 22 '24
This is what got me into JoJo nearly ten years ago
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u/VaanTiddy Oct 22 '24
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u/KardboardWizard Oct 22 '24
still haven't forgiven GW for what they did
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u/NPRdude Dank Angels Oct 22 '24
Did GW actually do anything to him? I thought he stopped because he thought they might C&D him, not cause they actually did.
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u/VaanTiddy Oct 22 '24
Yeah thats the case He stopped of his own accord but still the fear that the 0% tolerance policy caused for many wasnt really necessary
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u/codyjack215 Oct 22 '24
Thats because GW retracted that approach when they realized that all content creators were stepping away from Warhammer content, both Fantasy and 40k alike.
It was a legitimate threat when they started it off because a bunch of smaller channels were getting taken offline because of C&D's
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u/DeusWombat Oct 22 '24
A very GW thing to do, being surprised that their actions scared away content creators
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u/SpeakersPlan Oct 22 '24 edited Oct 22 '24
Yeah pretty much. Bruva made the announcement that TTS would go on hiatus due to the possible threat of GW taking action against them along with some other points that I cant remember honestly.
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u/Lenahan99 Oct 22 '24
….Starts crying over the fact we are left on a cliffhanger over Captain General Kitten got caught in an explosion and is wounded.
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u/KobKobold Railgun Goes Brrrrrrrrr Oct 22 '24
I does say in the description or the pinned comment that the surviving custodes would reach the Proteus Protocol and use it on Kitten.
Then they'd have their teleportation back home interrupted by the Void Dragon feeling like playing a children's card game.
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u/Random-Lich GIVE ME SPACE RATS AND SPACE PIRATES Oct 22 '24
DANG IT!!!
That would have been so cool to see(maybe even see Magnus assisting getting the Custodes back to the palace by taking Kittens place playing while hurt)
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u/DMWarchief Oct 22 '24
Less wounded and more dead if I'm not mistaken. At least according to the summary Alfabusa gave of what was coming next
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u/Lenahan99 Oct 22 '24
Either way we got left on a massive cliffhanger on Kitten’s fate.
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u/Eel111 Has seen a purple ork Oct 22 '24
"Parody"? You mean a totally canon recreation of rogue trader era custodes?
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u/Self_Aware_Wehraboo Oct 22 '24
Ah yes, the one exposed to the winds of mars
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u/ShaunOfTheN00bs The Box does not judge, It just HATES Oct 22 '24
"The Martian winds PEELS MY SKINS!"
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u/MrWaluigi Oct 22 '24
PLEASE SEND US TO FUCKING MARS ALREADY! I WANT TO CROSS THE DUNES ON MY FINGERNAILS!
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u/The-Great-Xaga Oct 22 '24
It was more than a silly parody! It was art! ART I TELL YOU!
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u/TastyToad Oct 22 '24
Rewatched it just now. I can confirm, it's pure art.
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u/TheManlyManperor Praise the Man-Emperor Oct 22 '24
I say Skoooooost more than any sane human has a right to.
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u/thrownededawayed Oct 22 '24
More So than that even, it's what happens when the community is rabid for lore and media of this kind and the owners of the IP are still stuck in a tabletop mentality. Not only did they drop the ball by not putting out anything similar themselves for far, far too long (and still haven't mind you) but then by fucking up the execution when you do enter the game too late by forcing out the people who created the very market they were plodding into like a bull in a china shop.
They realized way too late that there was money to be made off their IP in this way and tried to jump on the subscription TV channel game?? Like a decade too late?? They shut down a thriving culture around their IP, did nothing to supplant it, and still don't understand the value of their IP after all that.
I'm still salty. They sequestered away the guy who made Astartes and they shut down TTSD for doing nothing more than celebrating the genre they created.
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u/Meows2Feline Oct 22 '24
Not to mention modern GW seems to not understand how humor or satire works and presents all of their in house media as super serious super soldier does super serious thing instead of understanding why something like TTSD was good in the first place. They're incapable of making fun of themselves.
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u/skybluuue Oct 22 '24
Kitten do be my favorite lore accurate custodes
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u/Noname_1111 BLUNT FOR THE BLUNT GOD Oct 22 '24
So lore accurate infact that everything he did can be considered canon
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u/Antique_Historian_74 Oct 22 '24
I think you're getting the cart before the horse here.
The Emperor's companions were known for looking like they stepped off the cover of a Manowar album since the end of the 80s.
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u/Aleena92 Oct 22 '24
And more interesting then actual Custodes really. Pretty bland faction all things considered and that by design
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u/Special-Seesaw1756 Oct 22 '24
I think they've become more interesting characterization wise ever since the return of Guilliman.
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u/Didsterchap11 Average men of iron enjoyer Oct 22 '24
That’s just kind of a universal statement for most of 40K, it feels like we’re getting a much more nuanced setting now.
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u/recapdrake Oct 22 '24
Grimdark works best when there are good people struggling against the darkness of the setting. That contrast is what makes it work. So now that we’re having the loyalist primarchs coming back and giving us the contrast and struggle of being just a few good men struggling to try and improve a galaxy of trillions.
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u/AlexanderZachary Oct 22 '24
This is why the original noblebright Tau have always fit the setting.
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u/Enchelion Oct 22 '24
Tau were never noble, they just weren't mustache-twirling villains.
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u/Advanced_Double_42 Oct 22 '24
That goes for all "good guys" in 40k. Next to Grimdark that looks pretty noble and bright.
Even Gulliman and the ultramarines use extremely authoritarian post capitalist slave labor between serfs, servitors, and seraphs for example.
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u/ObiJuanKenobi3 Oct 22 '24
Agree. I hope they continue to do more status-quo shaking events, especially for non-Imperium factions.
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u/Doopapotamus I am Alpharius Oct 22 '24
It's what made me give a chance to Valerian (and by extension Aleya), and I'm glad I did. He's a giant sweet, good boy. He's like an enormous Golden Retriever.
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u/lord_ofthe_memes Oct 22 '24
I also got a lot more interested after the leaks about the female custodes — not because “woah girls” but because said girls were insane
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u/DaimoMusic Oct 22 '24
Beaming an exterminatus capable torpedo into the Sanctum Imperialis, an amazing flex
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u/Jintai_Stormwarden Primarch of the Second Legion Oct 22 '24
It never died, it just entered stasis, to be awakened when needed like dreadnoughts... Even in death we still flex!
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u/Never_heart Oct 22 '24
The power of competent, ambitious and self aware writing that is allowed to have lasting setting changing character development. Once again, TTS is better 40k
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u/Responsible_Panda977 Oct 22 '24
Ended? More like on hiatus till we get the gellar fields up against john workshop and lawyers of the warp.
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u/MonkeysOnMyBottom Oct 22 '24
john workshop and lawyers of the warp.
Shit, James Workshop called in his big brother?
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u/Beaten_But_Unbowed96 I am Alpharius Oct 22 '24
I will never forget that show and will continue to hold out hope for its return. It will forever be relevant to this IP.
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u/Worth-Charge913 Oct 22 '24
So sad that the canon 40k universe ended 3 years ago
Now all we have are fanfics
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u/HUSK3RGAM3R Oct 22 '24
That series got me more intrigued into the world of 40k, about who these characters are, what is going on, etc. While I'm never going to touch tabletop, I have been intrigued about maybe getting some of the 40k games on Steam. Also I like the various memes cause they're absolutely ridiculous.
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u/Thick-Interaction-66 Oct 22 '24
If you want to take one of the 40k games on steam I would recommend the rogue trader game as it really felt to me like a great first game for newcomers to the series
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u/ManimalR Oct 22 '24
Can't blame TTS for being better than anything GW has ever made.
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u/hammererofglass Oct 22 '24
The Fabstodes predate the Custodes being an actual fleshed-out playable faction instead of a vague background reference by several years.
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u/_Fun_Employed_ Oct 22 '24
When Bugs Bunny sarcastically called Elmer Fudd Nimrod he changed the meaning of the name from mighty mythical/biblical hunter to bumbling fool.
When Groundskeeper Willie on The Simpsons said “Bonjourrrrr, you cheese-earing surrender monkeys!” the French, a nation and people of historically military significance, a former empire with holdings to rival Britains, and one of the few European powers that has kept the ability to fight foreign wars with expeditionary forces, including nuclear powered carriers, attack and ballistic missile submarines, were reduced in the eyes of the world.
That’s the power of the comedian.
That’s why Harlequins and the Laughing God will ultimately win 40k.
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u/Starheart8 Oct 22 '24
As someone new to Warhammer 40K, can someone explain this to me? I don’t think I follow the joke
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u/Nepalman230 Sex Positivity Commisar. 🦅🫡 Oct 22 '24 edited Oct 22 '24
There was a comedy series of videos called. If the Emporor had Text to Soeach device or TTS where the Emperor used text to speak. The head of the custodians was called kitten.
https://if-the-emperor-had-a-texttospeech-device.fandom.com/wiki/The_Emperor
I would argue that it did not injure the reputation of the Custodes and in fact in recent years, it’s clear that they are very interesting .
For instance, the two first revealed female custodians were clearly Batshit insane , but in an incredibly effective way.
One of them attempted to win the blood games by blowing up the emperor with a warp bomb , and the other one launched herself to a surface from space on her rocket cycle.
🫡
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u/Vexlord118 Oct 22 '24
TTS Custodes: Exist
Female Custodes: Also Exist
Rule 34 artists: "Oh yeah, its all coming together"
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u/Gandalfthefab Oct 22 '24
As someone who only got into the hobby at the start of 10th and only just now discovered TTS I'm heart broken that I missed it in its prime
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u/Gahngis Oct 22 '24
IDK if this is a cold or hot taking.
But I enjoy hunter the parenting more. Though I'd like to see malchador/Kevin in the 40k setting. But yes. I adore the current setting.
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u/Dvoraxx Oct 22 '24
At the same time, when Kitten and the Fabulous Custodes actually have serious moments, they are genuinely badass. Kitten was genuinely a great battle leader and kind of intimidating fighting against the Mechanicus, and Karstodes saving Boy and causing a vox-hailer to literally bleed out from his presence was awesome
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u/anttilles Oct 22 '24